I made a mistake
by Mesares
Summary: John Paul made a mistake, and then went to Dublin to tell Craig about it.
1. Chapter 1

**I've been working on this for a while now, it's still not done, but I figured I'd give it a go and publish it on here, hope you all like it.**

**Oh and I write in American English, I've tried to keep it British in some parts, with expressions and such, but if it just switches at some point, then that's the reason.**

**John Paul**

I can't believe I'm in Dublin, that's the first thought to go through my mind as the plane touches down at the airport, that's the only thought that goes through my mind as I collect my bag and it's the only thought going through my mind as I leave the airport and get into the taxi. Giving the driver the address I look out the window as he begins to drive and then all the other thoughts return to me, everything else that happened in the past 48 hours and I find myself shaking my head at my own actions.

Kieron? I mean seriously, I slept with the Priest for f*cks sake, it's really just hitting home now, I slept with him after months of finding him strangely attractive and then afterwards, when I woke up and he wasn't there, I just felt wrong, it just all felt wrong. Going round to Hannah's talking with her, telling her about it, but not telling her it was him, talking about Craig, comparing them in a way, I just realized that I was still in love with that gorgeous dark haired, brown eyed idiot who broke my heart so many times, the man I left at the airport, the man who despite it all still sent me a text around Christmas a text that I still have on my phone but which I never replied to. I was trying to get over him, trying and failing. I sigh again and then notice that the taxi driver is looking at me so I fake a smile and just continue to look out the window.

I was really nasty towards Kieron today, as he was leaving our house, moving out, and he didn't deserve that, okay granted he is a Priest and he chose to break his vows, he chose to do that, I didn't force him into anything, but he didn't really deserve me lashing out on him like that. I did or well I do care for him, he's a great guy, a really sweet and funny guy, who just happens to be a Priest, and I fancied him and then after we had each other, well I guess I just…

When I woke up and he wasn't there and I was sat alone thinking, I just wished that it had been Craig, it felt like it was Craig in a way actually, cause he never stayed with me in bed, always was gone when I woke up after having made love to him. But yeah I just realized that I wanted Craig, I still wanted him, still loved him, of course I knew I would never stop loving him, but I had to move on, I simply had to get on with life, because he was ashamed of me, wanted to keep me his secret, and I couldn't.

Getting into a relationship with Kieron, that would've just had me being his secret, wouldn't it? And I told Craig I deserved more than that, that day at the airport and after having slept with a Priest, honestly what the hell was I thinking, I wasn't was I, I was just horny as fuck and felt ignored by him and slightly drunk and I just let go and slept with him and now I just wish I'd never have met him in the first place, wish that my mum hadn't invited him into our house, just let us live our lives and… well no I suppose if he hadn't been there then I wouldn't have realized I still wanted Craig, even if he still can't be with me properly, still wants to hide away, I think I might, at least for a while, be able to live with that now, as long as I am with him, as long as he still loves me and wants me and holds me and kisses me.

Oh for f*cks sake… I just want to see him and tell him about all this Kieron stuff, because before everything happened between us, he was my best mate and in a way he still is, cause no one has been able to replace him. I just want my best mate to listen to me and just, well I dunno, just give me his advice, be there for me like mates are supposed to be there for each other when one of them is having some serious, "I've f*cked things up big time, AGAIN" thoughts.

Finally, finally we pull up at the house Craig lives in, finally, I practically throw the money at the driver, mumble something or other resembling a thanks and then get out of the taxi with my bag, watching as it drives off into the distance, before breathing in deeply and walking up to the door of the house Craig lives in, what would've been our home had I come with him in September. I shake my head, and as I reach the door I press the bell and then hold my breath, getting more anxious for each second that passes without him, or anyone else opening the door, and then I hear it, I hear the footsteps.

He opens the door, not really paying attention to who is standing on the other side as he has his phone pressed up to his ear, then his eyes land on my face as I am stood there biting my lip and he gasps, his phone slipping out of his hand and as I watch it fall onto the floor, my own phone begins ringing, I frown and then as he continues to stare at me I extract my phone to see who it is that's calling me and now it's my turn to gasp and drop my phone as my eyes dart up to lock with his.

He was calling me, it was him and now our phones are down by our feet, his still calling mine and mine still going off playing the ringtone I've set up for myself. "Hi," I manage to utter after what seems like ages and that breaks him out of his trance like state, he bends down and picks up both our phones, ending the call and handing me mine as he stands up straight again.

"Hi," he tells me after another moment of silence, I just stand there looking at him, looking at his face, he looks so much different, he's still the Craig I knew and loved, still love, but he seems more grown up, more beautiful if that's even possible, the light stubble on his cheeks is just a turn on for me and I can actually feel my cock stirring, so I draw a deep breath and shake my head, because that's not what I'm here for, I'm not here for the sex, well I am, but that's only for after, after I talk to him, after I tell him the idiotic thing I've done and once we're over that, if he still wants to know me, then well… Maybe we could? Maybe he still loves me too? I look into his eyes again and then smile softly, I can see he still loves me, I know those eyes and I know how to read them.

His hand flies to his neck and he begins rubbing at it, this nervous trait of his that I love so much and then I realize that he's nervous because of me being stood there just gawping at him like a fool, so I give myself a mental slap, well several of those actually and then breath in deeply before opening my mouth, "I've f*cked up big time Craig," I tell him as I look into his eyes, "I really need to talk to someone away from the village and…" I sort of shrug and then smile, "Well you were the first person I thought about and you did say you'd love to see me in Dublin and well… I… I suppose I really could do with my best mate giving me some advice, or just listening to what I have to say and just being there for me…" I sigh as I look at him, I can see him frowning when I say that he is my best mate and it just freezes my blood, doesn't he think of me as his best mate anymore? "That is if I still have a best mate called Craig… Do, I?" I ask him anxiously and then clam up, waiting for him to say something, anything.

He stares for what feels like an eternity as I am stood there looking at him, and then he reaches out his hand, takes my bag from me and smiles, "Course you do John Paul, come in," then he steps to the side and lets me in, closing the door behind us and then walking past me, dropping the bag near the stairs telling me to come on through, which I do, I just follow him into the living room and sit down when he indicates for me to do so and then he sits down and we're back to just staring at each other for another couple of minutes, before he seemingly remembers that he is the host and offers me something to drink I nod my head telling him I'll have whatever he's having, then he disappears through the door leaving me to breathe deeply a couple of times, before he reappears with two cans of Sprite, handing me one as he opens his own and takes a big gulp of it.

I look at him as I drink from my own can, I can tell from the way he's looking at me that he is happy that I'm here and I just hope he'll stay happy once I've told him what I've done. "Ehm…" I shuffle slightly, turning my body so that I am facing him, "I'm… Just let me get it all out before commenting, yeah?" I ask of him and he nods after a moment with a smile on his lips.

"I don't think I've ever seen you like this before," he tells me and that makes me frown, which he sees and so he elaborates, "You just seem so," he squints his eyes for a while then continues, "Dunno, kinda anxious, kinda nervous, kinda scared, but at the same time… Happy?" he shakes his head and smiles once more, "But yeah, you were saying?"

"I am… All those things and I am happy, I'm here with you, aren't I?" I tell him and leave it at that, we can talk about that later, but I can see that me telling him that I am happy being here with him has made him really happy, I just hope he stays like that.

"Spill then," he says as I go quiet on him again and with another drink from my Sprite, I place the can on the table and nod my head.

"Okay… I've… I sort of…" I sigh and shake my head, "Remember this is me talking to my mate, not anything else, okay?" He nods his head in agreement, "Okay… I've been with someone that I should've stayed well clear off and I sort of hurt him when I realized that it was a huge mistake, since he… well he didn't think it was a mistake…" I look away from Craig and look out the window as I continue, "We've been fighting this thing between us for months… He came to live with us for a while and… Well one night I was really down cause some creep had more or less used me for his own pleasure and then dumped me," I chance a look over at Craig then and can see him wincing at my words, but he doesn't make any comments as he promised, "Anyways, he'd tried to warn me about that creep, but I just thought he was meddling in my life, however we talked that night and I sort of told him off, making him spill out that he was gay."

I shake my head as I think back to the past couple of months, "He sort of became a mate after that, I kept his secret cause well he asked I suppose," I shrug as I think about it, "Well I wanted him to tell mum, wasn't fair on her I figured that he kept that secret and he threatened to move out and just really told me off and I felt bad so yeah I kept quiet." I shrug again, "But anyways you know when Frankie and Jack were held hostage," he nods and I can see the pain in his eyes, "Well that night we sort of kissed for the first time and it was nice…" I stop myself and think about it, yeah it had been nice, but even then it had felt all wrong, "Well I dunno there was this attraction of sorts and then I saw him doing his job one day, and this job is really important to him, he wouldn't be able to do it if people knew that he was gay, so I told him that his job was more important than I was to him, more or less ending things before they started." I smile softly here as I think back to that day after he came home from the hospital and we talked. "He said I was worth the risk, he wanted it, wanted me, but… I couldn't."

I look at Craig once more and see him nodding his head for me to continue which just makes me smile, "So for a while, nothing… Literally nothing and then we did this charity run thing the other day and I just felt like he was ignoring me completely focusing his attention on Kris," that made Craig chuckle and shake his head, "Yeah I know," I tell him with a smile, "But anyways I sort of just left them at it and went home. Then when he got back I confronted him and he told me that he was looking at me and all that, but only when I wasn't looking because I'd told him nothing could happen… And well next thing I know is we're kissing and… You know…" I raise my eyebrows and Craig nods. "I woke up afterwards and he was gone," I look at Craig with a raised eyebrow and shake my head as he smirks, "I just knew, I knew the instant I woke up that I had made a huge mistake and I had to talk to someone about it so I called Hannah," he perks up at this, his eyes asking the question, "We're friends now and she's doing much better," I tell him and he nods his head.

"But yeah I went round to hers and we talked for hours, I told her about him, not who he was, I just told her I'd slept with someone and well…" my turn to rub on my neck, "Okay I told her that despite it being nice and all, and despite me sort of fancying the guy it still wasn't the same…" he looks questioningly at me and I continue while locking eyes with him, "He wasn't you," I simply tell him and I swear I can see the joy in his eyes, "Han told me that secrets wouldn't do anyone any good and quite honestly I know that, you know that, she knows that… But it was good to hear it and I know that being with him, being his dirty little secret, it's not something I want, and I told myself after… After you Craig, I told myself I'd never be anyone's secret and I would've been if I'd gotten into a relationship with him, I suppose." I sigh and close my eyes, "We, me and him, we sort of talked that night, him telling me it was worth it or something like that and well by the next day I'd made up my mind, I couldn't be in a relationship with him, I just couldn't because one thing his job and two I wasn't in love with him…" I sigh, "We had words that day, big words and I told him I couldn't face being the outcast in the village again, I'd gone through that already and… never again," I shake my head, "Naturally he lost it, told me he broke a promise of sorts to himself and made it out as if I'd used him or something… Which, well pissed me off." I shake my head, "The next day, or well today, he moved out, we had an argument of sorts, me being really nasty towards him and all… I didn't mean to, but I just… I don't want him and I regret it big time, but… well I do feel guilty in a way, cause I could've stopped it cause I knew in my heart, I knew that I didn't want him, I feel like I did use him for my own benefit… I never meant to hurt him." I finish and then look at Craig who looks at me for a moment before opening his mouth.

"Ehm okay… So what does this guy do since it's such a big deal for him that people don't know he's gay?"

God, didn't I say that, didn't I tell him? Fuck well he's gonna blow up once he hears, I close my eyes and turn away from him, hanging my head in shame before quietly speaking, "He's a Priest." I keep my eyes closed, I don't want to see the disgust in Craig's eyes, I don't think I could face it.

"Wow," I frown, then chance it and look at Craig, look into his eyes and can see he's upset, but nothing that can't be fixed, "Your mum would've totally lost it had you two gotten in a relationship," he tells me and that makes me laugh, "Wow… Talk about a huge mind f*ck right there." He shakes his head, "Suppose it's alright for this Catholic Priest to sleep with men then," he chuckles and then stops as I glare at him, "Sorry sorry… Ehm, okay so… Basically, you felt attracted to this guy, and he was attracted to you, you thought his job was more important than you and then when you did sleep with him you regretted it… and now you're in a way blaming yourself for hurting him because you don't want to be his secret boyfriend or lover or whatever?" he shook his head as he looked at me and I nodded my own head, "Right so why exactly are you beating yourself up about this?" he then asks me and I just stare questioningly at him.

"Eh cause of what you just said… I mean I did sort of use him, didn't I?"

"No you didn't…" he tells me and before I can even say anything he's continuing, "I'm supposing this promise he broke was his vow of celibacy?" I nod, "Right, well that was his choice, he chose to sleep with you, he could've easily stopped at the kissing thing, pushed you away, I mean he made that vow, he made that promise to God or whoever and he broke it… I suppose I can understand why he'd be upset about it afterwards, when you tell him you don't want him or whatever but in the end he made the decision to break that vow John Paul… You didn't force yourself onto him, you both wanted sex at that moment in time and well hey you got what you wanted, both of you."

"But I think he wanted a relationship with me Craig… I mean maybe he did that cause he thought there was a future for us together." I sigh and Craig shakes his head.

"Eh a future of you, being his secret? Cause honestly he's a Priest as in married to God so… I doubt it, I really doubt that he'd wanted a relationship, maybe something sexual yeah but…" okay that one actually hurt a bit and it must have shown on my face, "Sorry sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that… But well you know just think about it from all possible angles, not just the one in which you blame yourself." He tells me making me nod my head, "Cause by the sounds of it, he did blame you, didn't he, not really fessing up to his part in it?"

I bite my lip and then slowly nod my head when I realize that he is right, "Yeah… Actually now that I think about it, yeah he did kind of put the blame all on me." I sigh, "Just my luck with the guys eh, just like my sisters I am." I groan out loud at this, "Oh god, I'm worse than some of my sisters… Fucking hell Craig, I've slept with a Priest…" I slap my forehead, "Not one of them has done anything as bad as that."

"So what?" He tells me and I just stare at him, "What?"

"Seriously who are you and where's Craig Dean?" I ask him, why isn't he freaking out, why isn't he telling me off, why is he being so understanding.

"I'm still me John Paul, still your best mate you know," he smiles warmly and I frown for a moment.

"So what would Craig Dean, my ex think of all of this then?" I ask him and see the smile fade away as he finishes his Sprite.

"I hate it," he almost growls, "I hate thinking about you with some perv of a Priest, I hate the images that have come into my head, I really, really hate it John Paul… I mean a Priest, a fucking Priest?" he shakes his head, "I mean I hate the thought of you being with anyone else, but a Priest?"

I just shrug, "Shit happens," I tell him and something changes in him.

"I really hate it John Paul, I really can't even begin to understand it, but… In a strange way I am sort of… Well proud of you…" he frowns as do I, "Well you know and this is a combo of your ex and your best mate speaking here, just so you know," I chuckle at that and nod for him to continue, "You got in bed with a Priest, come on that's kind of a mission impossible sort of thing and yet here you are and you've done it… I mean yeah I'm sort of proud of you for doing that." He shakes his head disbelievingly as he says those words.

"You don't hate me then? You know for doing that and coming here to tell you?"

He looks at me for a moment, his eyes narrowing, "No I don't hate you," he tells me quietly, "How can I hate you, when I never stopped loving you," he continues making my jaw drop.

"What?"

"I love you John Paul, how can I not?" he asks me and that just leaves me speechless, literally speechless, I mean I could tell there was still something there in his eyes and the way he'd just stared at me at the front door, but to actually hear him say it, it just made me so happy.

"Good, cause I still love you too," I tell him with a smile and bless his heart he's beaming at this.

"So…" he lifts his eyebrows suggestively and I shake my head, "Why not, you love me and I love you… Come on, please?"

"We might still love each other Craig…" I tell him and he nods his head eagerly, "But what I told you at the airport, as much as I love you, and as much as I think I can put up with being with you in private but not in public, I still think I deserve more than that… And I… I can't be with you if it's in private, if we're holed up in this house or wherever and you're ashamed of being with me, of showing me that you love me out there," I point towards the window indicating the outside world.

"I'm not ashamed of you John Paul," he tells me, "I've even told people about you," I snap my head to look at him and he's nodding, "Well I've told people that I'm in love with my ex, since they… and by they I mean my housemates, they've been on my neck about not having a girlfriend." He tells me and I narrow my eyes.

"But then you haven't really told them about me… They don't know that you're…" I pause for a minute not wanting him to go off on me when I say that he's gay, but then I just say it anyways, "Well that you're gay." I look at him and he sighs, he just sighs and nothing else.

"I've told one person about you, and I mean everything John Paul, like from the first day we met till you left me at the airport."

"You did?" I ask him, not believing what he's telling me.

"Yeah I did and I've told her that I wanted you back, she's been giving me ideas as to how to do that." He tells me and I smile, "That text you know," I nod my head, "Well I wasn't really sure it was a good idea, but she encouraged me, asked what I had to lose, and well I'd lost you already so… well she was right wasn't she." He shrugged, "It really hurt though that you didn't reply, didn't send anything in return, even a simple f*ck off would've been enough you know." He tells me and I shake my head as I reach for my phone and go through my messages, before finding it and handing him my phone. He looks at it and frowns, "You've kept it? Why?"

"I wanted to reply Craig, really I did, but… Well I dunno, it just was too soon I suppose, you know the wound hadn't healed yet, I was still not over you, not in a place where I was ready to get back in touch with you." I tell him in all honesty and after looking at me for a moment he sadly nods his head.

"But… Well I suppose you're here now, that's in a way a reply to that text," he smiles and I smile too.

"This friend of yours who knows, she got a name?" I wonder and his smile widens.

"Aha, Rae," he nods and tells me, "She's made me see, made me realize that if I really love you then I ought to get you back."

"I think I like her already," I smile warmly, "So what did you tell her about yourself, about your sexuality?"

"The truth, the same thing I always told you and everyone else," he tells me and I shake my head, "John Paul, please just hear me out, and for once listen to what I'm saying, yeah?" I raise my eyebrow and he just gives me a look that tells me to listen so I nod my head and do what he asked of me. "I'm not gay John Paul, honestly it has only and will only ever be you, you're my first guy and you'll be my last guy too… I just fell madly, deeply, head over heels in love with you. I simply fell in love John Paul and you just happened to be a guy." He smiles as his eyes, those beautiful Bambi eyes lock with mine, "It's only you John Paul."

"So you still fancy girls then?"

"No, I only fancy you, you idiot," he tells me, "I mean yeah I'm sort of straight and all, but I only want you… I've been with a couple of girls here," he tells me and then pauses to see if I'm okay to hear this and I just nod, "I've not felt anything while with them… I'd just get off and well get off you know, I've not stayed over at their place a full night, not cuddled with them, nothing… Because I only want that with you and no one else… And I'd have come back for you John Paul, when I was 100% ready I'd have come back for you and swept you off your feet and brought you back here with me so that we could be an us again, be together here like we were meant to be 6 months ago."

"Yeah?"

"Course, I love you don't I?"

"And I love you," I tell him making him smile, which in turn has me smiling. "You will tell people this time, won't you? You will be able to kiss me in public and hold my hand and all that, you won't be afraid or ashamed or anything?"

"I'll tell the guys I live with tonight when they get in, and I'll kiss you and hug you and hold your hand as much as you want outside and inside. I've lost you once because of my irrational fear I won't make that mistake again."

"Okay," I simply say, because I actually believe what he is telling me this time, this isn't like before, I can see it in his eyes that he will do what he just said, "Well then I'll be looking forward to being introduced to your friends."

He giggles and then looks lovingly at me, "You're my beautiful boyfriend, John Paul," he smirks and then bites his lip as he bats his lashes, the butterflies in my stomach doing summersaults as I realized he's just said I was his boyfriend.

"And you're my Bambi-eyed stunning absof*ckinglutely gorgeous boyfriend too, Craig." I smile at him and raise my hand, cupping his face with it, my thumb gently brushing over his stubble, "This is new," I tell him and he grins sheepishly as he nods, "Suits you, makes you look even more beautiful, if that's even possible." I continue and watch as he turns red in the face.

"John Paul," he rubs at his neck and I just repeat what I said, before we both lose ourselves in each other's eyes as I continue to brush my finger over his cheek and then he says it, says the few words that I've wanted to hear for so long, "John Paul, please kiss me," he tells me and I nod slowly as I lean forward and then it's like fireworks go off on the inside as I kiss Craig, as I kiss him again after all this time and he still tastes exactly the same, he's still my Craig, my beautiful Craig. He groans as my tongue slips into his mouth, dueling with his, he moans softly as I taste every single inch of his mouth and he whimpers as I pull back from the kiss and suck on his bottom lip, biting it gently and then soothing it with my tongue. I rest my forehead against his as I finish what I was doing and just look at him and all I see when he looks into my eyes is love, there is no fear, no shame, nothing but love and I know then that we'll make it as a couple, I can just feel it in my heart.

"I've missed doing that," I tell him and he nods telling me he missed it too, "It didn't feel like this with Kieron," I continue and he frowns, "The Priest," I chuckle and see some anger flashing in his eyes for a couple of seconds, before it's pushed aside by the love. "It's only you Craig, only you." I inform my boyfriend with a smile and before he can say anything I'm kissing him again, this time his tongue is in my mouth and he's doing all the tasting and I let him, I want him to do that, I need him to do that.

We shuffle in the sofa him on top of me and just kiss, well make out really for a while, we'd stop every now and then to breathe and look at each other and then my hands would go into his hair and I'd pull his face down until he's kissing me again. When he pulls away this time I shuffle and sit back up looking at him as I brush my fingers over his stubble, "I like how that feels on my skin," I grin sheepishly, "It's very you," and he nods in agreement before kissing me again and again and again, leaving me panting for air and slightly turned on. "I need a shower Craig," I say after we've ended up making out for a good part of an hour, he looks at me then nods and holds out his hand for me, which I gladly grip.

Walking us out of the room, he picks up my bag and takes us upstairs, "Right so there are three people I share with and one of them has his girl living with us," he tells me as we go by the rooms on the first floor, "Rae, Joe and Rich," I nod as he points to the doors, "Rae's single, Joe has Kate and Rich is in some new relationship, but we've not met the girl yet." Again I nod, "Oh the bathroom is here," he points to the door, "I'll just show you my room and then you can shower, yeah?" Once more I nod. We climb the second set of stairs until we're on the second floor, "There's only this one room here," he informs me, "All of them are the same size really, but I like this one the most, since I have this floor for myself, even though there's literally just this one room." He chuckles as he opens the door and walks us inside.

I look around as he sits down on the bed and watches me, "Oh a double," I smile as I see the bed and he's beaming as I notice that, "Will come in handy at some point," I smile and then look to his desk and there near his laptop is a picture of us from when we were in school together, the same picture that I have hidden in my drawer back home, picking it up I smile as I look at him, "We were so young, before everything got so damned complicated," sighing I replace the picture and look over at the walls, finding them rather empty, "No posters?"

He shrugs, "I've got posters, but.." he shrugs again, "Dunno, never felt like having them up," I nod and smile sympathetically.

"It's a nice room Craig," I tell him and he smiles then watches me as I head for my bag to get out some clean clothes and my towel for my shower.

"Oh, you can just hang your stuff in the closet it's roomy enough for your stuff too," he winks at me, "I'll clear some space out in the drawers too for your things if you want," but I shake my head.

"No need, didn't bring much on this trip," I inform him and he nods, but I can still see that he seems a bit hurt that I won't let him do that, so I walk over to him gripping his hands, "Next time I'll bring a big suitcase, and then we'll make room for my stuff in here together, yeah?" he bites his lip and nods, "But for now, shower." I say resolutely, getting to my feet and picking up my things waiting for him to get up and walk me down, which he does a couple of minutes later when he stops staring at my arse.

"I'll leave you to it then," he smiles warmly as he shows me the bathroom and as I nod, he brushes a kiss to my lips and then leaves me to shower.

**The end... Well no not really, but end of this part, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Reviews and comments are appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Contains smut... You've been warned, if you don't like smut, even if it's slightly toned down, then do not read... But you all love smut so you'll all read anyways.. HA!**

**Ehm and sorry about the grammar at some points, it's been a nightmare to edit it, but it's as good as it will get and it's clear what they're saying so yeah, ehm enjoy. **

**Craig**

He's here, he's here, he's here, he's f*cking here and he still wants me, finally for once in my life I luck out, he loves me and I still love him, how can I not love him, he's beautiful, he's John Paul and he's mine, mine and only mine. I couldn't believe it when I opened the door, since I was literally just calling him to ask him to come out to Dublin so that we could talk, cause I figured we needed that and then there he was as I answered the door.

When he told me about that Priest he'd slept with, it took everything in me not to growl, not to tell him to forget about whoever and just kiss me, and love me and be mine again, and then he told me about Hannah about how he told her he still wanted me, and when he said that well, screw the Priest then, cause he still loves me. But yeah I did answer him, I did tell him what I thought he should do or how he shouldn't feel, since I know him and he wanted his best mate to listen to him, which I did and and and… OMG he's here… God this is so unbelievable that I feel like pinching myself, but I won't cause if this is a dream then I don't want to wake up, he's mine and I'm his and we're together again and we're boyfriends….

Where was I?

Oh right, well I told him that they were both to blame and that Kieron, f*cking twat, had chosen to break his vows, cause I didn't want John Paul to blame himself for that, I know him and I know he'd do just that if I didn't stop him, and I did and then we talked about us and I told him everything, told him I'd tell anyone and everyone, well maybe not in those exact words, but he knows I meant it just like that, I told him and he believed me and then and then we kissed and we kept kissing, oh and he loves my stubbles, God how I love my John Paul. He's up in the shower now and he's said he'll be coming back in the future, with more of his stuff and we'd sit together and make room for it up in my room, or well our room from now on.

My phone beeps and I smile when I see it's a message from Rae asking if I'm home and whether or not she should buy some take away for us tonight, I send her a short message telling her to just get home, that we'd be able to order something later and just as I press send, John Paul's phone begins to ring, me being as giddy as I am, I just answer it without thinking about looking at who is calling.

"Hello," I say.

"John Paul?" The voice on the other end asks and I chuckle while shaking my head.

"Nope sorry, he's just away for a bit, left his phone here," I tell the stranger, or the guy calling, "I'll have him ring you once he gets back though, if you just tell me your name." I add cheerfully.

"Oh…" long pause, "I'm Kieron, I suppose I'll just wait for his call then," he sighs. Ugh twat, why's he calling my boyfriend when John Paul clearly doesn't want him and told him as much.

"Oh you're Kieron," I say in my best behaved voice, just wanting to shout at him to f*ck off and stop calling my boyfriend, but I don't, "You know, hang on a sec, might be able to find him, give me a sec, yeah?"

"Yeah alright… eh… sorry didn't get your name?" he says but I don't give him my name, I just place the phone down on the table and head off, up the stairs and then I'm stood outside the bathroom door.

"John Paul," I knock on the door, but no reply, "John Paul," I say again, but again no reply, so I turn the handle and step inside, "John Paul," this time I get a reply.

"Yeah?" he smiles as he draws the curtain back to expose his naked body and I just forget everything as I take in the sight before me, him, with that white skin and lush lips and blue eyes and that cock, my arse quite literally twitches as my eyes land on his cock, undoubtedly it remembers the feeling of having that cock sliding in and out of it from when John Paul used to f*ck me hard and make love to me slow and tender. I can feel my cock stirring now and I don't give a f*ck, I can't take my eyes away from his cock as he stands there just watching me. "Oi," he snaps his fingers making me look into his eyes, "Say something anything," he tells me and I instantly rub on my neck as my eyes once more land on his now semi hard cock, I lick my lips and let out a groan as I shake my head and force myself to look at his face.

"Ehm… I… I wasn't…" I begin, "Your phone rang and I was sort of distracted by a message from Rae so I just picked it up," he nods and smiles telling me that that was okay to do, "It's Kieron," I tell him and see him freeze momentarily before shrugging, "I told him I'd go and try to find you."

"Well you did," he tells me and I nod my head as my eyes are once more on his cock which is now rock hard, "Just tell him I'll call him later." I think I nod at this but I can't really understand anything right now. "Craig, can I finish my shower now?" he asks me some minutes later and I nod my head as I slowly begin to back out of the room, not for a moment losing sight of the hard cock that is jutting out from John Paul's groin. "Hey, come here," he suddenly tells me and holds out his hand, which I tentatively grip as I step forward.

I gasp as I find my hand wrapped around his cock two seconds later, his own hand covering mine, as he begins to stroke his cock with his and my hand. "It's missed you just as much as you missed it," he says making me chuckle, "And I've missed you so much," he continues, and before I know what's happened he's pulled me in under the shower, fully dressed I am, and soaked within seconds, but I don't care, my hand is around his cock and it's just a wonderful feeling.

"Fuck me John Paul," I practically beg him and he kisses me hard on the lips, plundering my mouth before wrestling for a moment with my belt then easing it apart and seconds later my arse and cock have been freed, he spins me round so that I face the wall as his hand caressed my arse. I hear him squirt some gel onto his fingers and then, "Oh God," I groan as he breaches me with his fingers, how long had it been since he'd done that to me the last time, how I longed for it, how I want it and I want more, I want his cock, I want him so much that it actually hurts. But he takes his time, preparing me thoroughly, first with one finger, then two and then three, and then, then he's pushing into me, inch by delicious inch, until he is fully inside of me, his cock brushing against my prostate making my knees tremble, making me impossibly hard, making me feel so loved that I don't know what to do with myself and then as he picks up the pace and fucks me harder and harder I just let go, I just yell and scream and moan and groan and as his cock brushes against my prostate, my cock explodes and coats the wall with my sticky come and while my orgasm rockets through me and my body clenches around his cock I hear him pant in my ear as he kisses and nibbles on my neck, then he growls, literally growls as he slams hard into me and I feel it, feel him shoot his load into me, inside of me, filling me up, marking me, making me his again, and I am his, I'll always be his.

"F*ck," he says after some minutes, then spins me round and whips my wet t-shirt off of me, dropping to his knees, getting me out of my pants, "F*ck how I missed doing that," he tells me as he kisses me again, "There's nothing like having sex with you, nothing at all." And I can't do anything but agree with him.

We don't stay in the shower for long, opting instead to go to my room to well you know, continue in bed, and we continue like we've never done before, first with me going down on him the second we get into bed, sucking him so hard, so firmly that he shoots another huge load, this time down my throat. He repays me that favor by sucking me dry, literally, while fingering me, pushing against my prostate until I scream his name as I come. We kiss too, loads and loads of kisses and then we're both hard again, this time he just rubs our cocks together as we kiss and at some point during that, as he is biting my neck I groan and come again followed by him moments later. His hands are doing a good job of exploring my body, as are mine with his and when I felt him go hard again, I spread my legs and ask him to fuck me again, he smiles before positioning himself and then pushes into me, fucking me into the fucking mattress making me come so hard that I nearly pass out. After he comes inside of me, we just cuddle under the duvet, making out and just being together like that. God how I've missed him.

"I love you Craig," God he just said he loves me, I grin sheepishly as I look at him and kiss him before replying.

"I love you too John Paul," He smiles and I kiss him again and again and again.

We end up laying together for a fair bit, both of us actually drifting off for at some point and then both of us woke up with a start as a female voice bellows out, "Craig you in?"

"Who's that?" he asks grumpily, cause he really hates being woken up in that way.

"Rae," I tell him before answering her, "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute,"

"Alright," she calls back.

"Right, come on then, time to do the introductions, she knows about you so it'll be good to surprise her," I say and get out of bed, putting on a fresh pair of boxers and my dressing gown watching him as he walks over to his bag, pulling out and putting on some boxers and then putting on my spare dressing gown. I grip his hand tightly in mine and with one final kiss and a smile from him I walk us out of the room and down the stairs.

I can feel his eyes on me, I can feel that he is anxious to see if I will go through with this, so I stop on the first floor and smile as I look at him, "I'm doing this, I'll tell all of them when they get home, I want you and I'm not ashamed, okay?" I tell him and he nods slowly so I kiss him and then walk us down the stairs. I can hear Rae bustling in the kitchen so I head for the door and push it open, she speaks as the door opens, her back to us as she's looking through the fridge.

"I'm making some tea, you want some?"

"Ehm, yeah sure… But first I want you to meet someone," I tell her and that makes her close the fridge, milk in her hand as she turns to look at us stood there together, "Hi," I wave shyly at her as she just stares shamelessly at my boyfriend, "This is…" but before I can say anything else she smiles widely and interrupts me.

"John Paul, this is John Paul, the love of your life," she says and I blush and looking at John Paul I can see he is surprised but also blushing, so I simply nod my head and raise the hand I'm holding in mine, placing a soft kiss onto it, she'd seen pictures of him, she knew who he was already but it is good to see her actual reaction to seeing him.

"Yeah this is him, my John Paul, my boyfriend," I tell her and then look proudly at him.

"Oh Craig," she squeals and then before I know what's happened she's hugging me tightly, "I'm so happy for you," she tells me as she looks into my eyes, before stepping slightly back and holding out her hand for John Paul, introducing herself properly, "It's good to finally meet you," she tells him and he looks at me for a moment, before grinning and returning the sentiment.

"Thanks, and it's good to meet you," he tells her and then looks at me.

"So tea?" I raise my eyebrows and look at her, she nods her head as she goes back to find two more mugs, before stopping and turning to look at us again.

"Well," we both look at her, "I know we're the hosts and all, but I've heard so much about how good a cup of tea you make John Paul," she bites her lip and looks at him and I think I actually am glaring at her at this point, she shouldn't be asking him to make her our brews, he's the bloody guest, he must have noticed this from me as he simply kisses me and whispers in my ear that it's okay.

"Yeah sure," he shrugs as he lets go of my hand and goes over to make us our teas, and I know I'm being silly but the second he lets go of my hand I feel all alone again, and I don't like it, I don't want to be without him again, and I have no idea how I'm going to be able to say good bye to him when he goes back home again, but I give myself a mental shake and walk over to him, wrapping my hands around his waist, pressing a soft kiss to his neck as he pours the water into the mugs with the tea bags.

Rae is just stood there next to us looking at us with a smile on her lips and as I turn to look at her briefly I can see that she is genuinely happy for me, happy that my John Paul is here with me, happy that we're together. I sigh contentedly and then smile as he turns in my arms, placing the softest of kisses on my forehead. "So will we be stood here drinking our tea or?" he asks with a chuckle after a couple of minutes of me holding him tightly and resting my head on his shoulder and I groan as I don't want to move, but I know that I have to. So I step back and grip his hand tightly then take the mug he holds out for me and once all three of us have our tea, and Rae brings out the tin of biscuits we head out of the kitchen and into the living room.

It's only as we sit down, and I snuggle up close to him that I see his phone and reach out for it remembering that that idiot had called. I hold it to my ear but he'd long since hung up, "We forgot," I shrug as I look at John Paul and he shrugs too.

"We were busy," he whispers in my ear and I chuckle as I nod my head, "Suppose I better text mum, tell her I'm off on holiday for a couple of days," he then sighs and I look questioningly at him.

"Just tell her you're here with me," I tell him and he bites his lip for a second, then nods his head as he types in his text to his mum while I watch the screen, smiling as he writes he's back together with me and that he'd be home at some point before sending it to her and then dropping the phone down on the table as he wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

Rae clears her throat after a while, clearly feeling ignored and we both look at each other and then at her and grin sheepishly, before apologizing and then well we just talk, the three of us we just talk and talk and talk about school stuff mostly and about our friends, well she mostly asks about the friends I've told her about and he tells her about them, tells her about Sarah and Nancy and how they're still off with him, though seems that Nancy might have softened up a bit and then he tells her about Hannah and how she's doing and I listen to this carefully because, well I also felt guilty about my part in her illness and had told Rae as much, it does make me smile when he says that Hannah is back to how she was before, though stronger now and in a relationship and happy, cause she really deserves to be happy that girl.

"How come you've come to Dublin?" Rae asks after a bit and I look at her, she's nosy, I know that and she knows that too, but she ignores me and just looks at John Paul and after a while so do I, though I know why he came.

"Cause I realized I wanted to be with Craig, cause I couldn't get over him, cause I love him," he tells her simply as he looks into my eyes and then kisses me tenderly, "Cause I let you go once and nothing has ever felt right since then," he adds as he pulls back and I can see it in his eyes, the sincerity, the love and I just kiss him again. This answer seems to have pleased Rae, at least she doesn't ask anything else about why he came here again, and we go back to just the usual getting to know each other thing that people do when they meet someone new.

By the time we're done with all the talking, I feel like she knows everything about John Paul and he knows everything about her and I can tell that she really likes him and that he really likes her and it warms my heart that my friend in Dublin and my best mate, my boyfriend get along, because well they mean the world to me, both in their own different ways.

"So when are the others coming back?" John Paul asks as I drop my phone after having order some take away for us three, clearly wanting to see if I'll actually tell them, which I will, I'll never let him down again, never. Taking his hand in mine I kiss it gently as I try to reassure him about my commitment to him.

"I'll tell them John Paul, I promise you I will," I tell him and he nods his head, "Suppose they'll be home soon though," I continue as I look over at Rae and as she looks at her watch she nods her head in agreement. I grip his hand and pull him up with me, "We'll just go get dressed then," I tell Rae and as she nods we head up, I'm all for introducing him to them, but not while we're sat in boxers and dressing gowns.

**Craig**

What I hadn't counted on was those friends of mine and what they had been planning for a while now, the three of us found out about two hours later, when Rich, Joe and Kate came home, they'd brought a guest with them. "Craig?" I heard Rich call out from the door as they entered the house.

"In here," I called back as I sat there with Rae and John Paul in between us.

"Well you better get upstairs and get bloody dressed," Rich said as he came in, then as he saw John Paul he greeted him with a "Hey" before turning to look expectantly at me.

"Why, where am I going?" I wondered, I hadn't forgotten any plans with them, had I?

"This is Joanna," he says, as Joe and Kate come in with this red haired girl, "And we've, that's the three of us, have decided that you two are going out on a date," I gasp and shake my head as I look at John Paul, "And you're not getting out of this so go on up you go."

"Eh… Rich," I hear Rae and then I see her nod towards John Paul.

"Oh sorry," Rich goes over and then greets John Paul properly as do Joe and Kate and Joanna for that matter, "So hang on, can it be that we all have someone to go out with for once?" Rich wonders out loud and I frown before realizing that he thinks John Paul is Rae's date. Before I can say anything though, he is over by my side, pulling me up, and practically trying to push me over to this girl, who really does nothing for me, she's pretty yeah, but I don't want her.

"Stop this," I tell him and push him back, slightly harder than I meant to, but he was really annoying me at this point, "What the hell is wrong with the three of you," I snap and look from him to Joe and Kate, "I don't go out with people I don't know and I'm sure she's a nice girl and all, but I'm not interested and I won't ever be interested so stop bloody pressuring me about having a f*cking girlfriend…" I am shouting at this point, looking over at John Paul I can tell that he is worried about me with the way that he is looking at me, trying to get me to calm down, but I won't, I can't, because I know them and they'll just keep pressuring me and I have to tell them now.

"Look Craig," I hear Kate say and I snap my head to look at her, anger undoubtedly flashing in my eyes, "We've just.." but she stops herself as she sees I am in no mood for this.

"I don't care what you lot think about me, I don't care about you, or you, or you," I look over at Rich, "It's my f*cking life and if I don't want a f*cking girlfriend then that's how I'll f*cking live my f*cking life," okay that's probably the most times I've said f*cking without it being sexual but yeah I am fuming. "Just leave me the f*ck alone and stop bloody pressuring me," I shriek at the top of my lungs and it's then that John Paul gets up from his seat, walks over to me and cups my face, and as he looks into my eyes he implores me to calm down and I nod slowly.

"Relax sweetheart," he tells me, then he kisses me and all my anger is gone, everything is gone, all I can feel is how happy I am, how much I love this beautiful man who has such a calming effect on me, how much I love my boyfriend.

As we pull away from the kiss I keep my eyes on him as I speak once more, this time calmly, "I don't want a girlfriend, because I've already got a boyfriend," with that I grip his hand and walk us out of the room, up the stairs to my room, locking the door behind us and then letting him take me to bed.

We don't say anything, I need to just relax as he said and I know he senses that so he just holds me as I rest my head on his chest and that's enough, it really is enough, to have his support in that way is more than enough, it's all I ever wanted, all I ever needed for that matter. "Thank you," I eventually tell him as I lift my head to look at him and he simply smiles as he brushes his hand through my hair.

"They're your mates Craig, they're just looking out for you, and really they didn't know about you wanting to be with me, did they now?" I shake my head as he speaks and I know he's right, "I think they got it now though, I would've stopped you sooner, but something told me to just wait and let you get things off your chest." He pauses as I smile and brushes a kiss to my lips, "I know what you get like when you keep things in for too long, so it was just best to let you get it all out."

"I suppose… You don't think they'll…" I think about it, I didn't just push away my mates did I?

"Nah, they might need you to explain it properly to them, you know a calm civilized conversation…" he chuckles, "And maybe not use the word f*cking every other second." I laugh at that and nod my head, "But later, yeah? I just want to be with you on our own for a bit," he holds me tighter and brushes a kiss to my cheek.

"Yeah later," I agree and rest my head back down on his chest, "They don't matter, you're what's important to me." I close my eyes and listen to his heartbeat and then I realize what I've just said and it's true, he is what's important to me, he's what's been missing from my life all this time I've been here, him, not just as my boyfriend but also as my mate, cause that's what we were to begin with, mates and then afterwards lovers, but always mates first and he always meant more to me than anyone or anything else in my life. I sigh contentedly and feel, well truly happy and a peace with myself.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**John Paul**

There's a knock on the door followed by Rae's voice asking if Craig is okay. I smile as I look down on him, he fell asleep some 15 minutes ago laying with his head on my chest and I'm just so happy about it, we've never just done things like this before, he was always so afraid, but now, well he's really changed, his outburst earlier that was the old Craig that I knew and loved and I know that the old him and the new him will make a really great boyfriend.

Rae is still at the door, speaking in a low voice, just in case that we're asleep, but I can tell from her voice that she's worried about her friend, so I press a kiss to his cheek and then gently lower him down on the pillow, wrapping the duvet around him as I get out of bed. I look at him sleeping peacefully and smile, he is stunning and he is mine, and I can barely believe it, "I love you," I whisper to him, before going to the door, unlocking it and going out to the small hallway to join Rae.

"Sorry were you sleeping?" she asks as she manages to see that Craig is fast asleep before I close the door behind me.

"He is yeah, but I'm not," I smile my reply and she smiles too.

"I only came up cause well I wanted to check on him and," she shows me my phone, "It rang a few times and then there were a few messages too, I figured it might have been urgent."

"You're a good friend," I tell her as I take the phone from her making her blush, "Oh…" I sigh as I look through my missed calls and messages, "This can wait I suppose," I shrug and shake my head as I speak.

"What?"

"Oh just my mum and Kieron," I shrug again, "Are the others still in?"

"No they left, they had plans as you may recall," Rae tells me and I nod my head, "How about we leave Craig to it and go down and chat?" She asks and I nod my head in agreement, following her down the stairs as she begins to go down to the living room.

"You're not messing him about, are you?" she asks me before I even get to sit down and it really surprises me, she must have seen that on my face as she decided to elaborate, "Only this Kieron bloke and…" I chuckle and shake my head as she looks at me.

"He's a mistake, just a big mistake I made, Kieron that is, Craig knows, I told him everything." I tell her, deciding against telling her everything that was for Craig's ears only, "I love Craig, I walked away from him once and I've been miserable ever since, Craig is who I want to be with." I tell her firmly as I look at her.

"Right, well good then." She tells me and then smiles, "Heaven knows that boy has been pining for you for months now, today… I've never seen him smiling like that, beaming like that before."

"He's not been happy here then?" I ask her feeling a twinge of guilt at hearing that.

"Hmm not at first he wasn't, those first couple of months were, well let's just say it's a good thing I'm such a nosy cow and don't give up on people." She chuckles before continuing, "When we arrived here, the rest of us, he'd already been here some days, he barely bothered with saying hello as we arrived and just stayed for himself up in that room, we hardly saw him, it was school, work and up to the room." She sighs as she recalls those months. "Then one day I went up there to try to get him to join us while we watched a movie and well I didn't knock did I, and I saw him crying." I wince at that, I hate that, I don't ever want him to hurt like that.

"Why… Why was he crying?" I ask not wanting to know and at the same time wanting to know.

"He wouldn't say, told me to get lost, but…" she shrugs, "I just sat down and held him and he just broke down, cried for ages, cried himself to sleep, and it killed me to see that pain and not knowing what was causing it." She sighs and I notice tears welling up in her eyes. "The next day he was back to how things were before, staying away from us others, but as I got back from school I found a small note on my door, just two words written down, "thank you" made me smile it did." She nods to herself as she looks at me.

"So did he… well open up after that or…"

"I went up to his room later that evening, with some food for both of us, knocking this time and he opened and let me in." she smiles warmly, "I didn't ask him about it and for a bit he didn't say anything, we just ate in silence and then he got up, picked up that picture he has on his desk and handed it to me." She frowned, "He looked so scared, so fragile when he gave it to me, like he expected me to yell at him or something, but I just asked him about the picture, asked who the blonde guy was since he was rather dreamy looking," she looks at me and I know I'm blushing, bloody hell.

"Thanks," I mumble and she lets out a small laugh as she grips my hand.

"He told me about you, told me you were supposed to come with him to Dublin but then something had gone wrong at the airport and you'd decided to go back home." She sighs, "He didn't say anything about you being gay, just that you were mates and you'd have some sort of change of heart about coming here." I frown and think that that was very typical of Craig to make up something like that.

"I could tell though, there was something else, cause you don't cry like that over a mate, so I asked him if he was crying because of you and his eyes filled up again as he nodded, so I just asked him if you two were more than just mates… You should have seen his eyes then."

"Panic?"

"No, relief… He just seemed to relax as I asked that question and then he just told me, he told me how you'd fallen in love with him, told me about Hannah's birthday the football practice you guys making up, your first time, minus the details of course, what he said afterwards, how he behaved in the months after, how he treated you… And then he told me about the engagement and the party, I could've smacked him for that one, what was he thinking?" she shakes her head, "But I suppose I understand what with the reaction his mother and brother had…" she pauses for a moment. "He told me about going round to Sarah's the next day, how Sarah had told him she wanted him back," What? What the f*ck? "How she'd practically begged him for the two of them to go to Dublin together, carry on, put everything that had happened behind them, but he told me, he said, "I told her, that I loved her, but that I was _**IN LOVE**_ with John Paul," I could've wept, I mean in all that, all the story of you two, that was just about the one thing he did that was right, he picked the one he wanted."

I can't believe what she's telling me, he actually picked me, I was his first choice, he wanted me and not Sarah? I always thought he went round to hers to beg her for another chance, I thought he picked her over me again, he'd done it so many times, but no he actually wanted me, he picked me.

Rae seems oblivious to my little internal dialogue as she continues, "He told me about the second time Sarah begged him to take her and not you, that day when your mothers were talking up in the flat and he once more told her that he wanted you… He told her that he really did love her and that he at that moment in time wished that he'd never met you, said he said that just so that she wouldn't hurt, but well he was in love with you and he wanted you, he told her."

Okay that was… Well I suppose that was his sweet side trying to comfort Sarah, I sort of understand it I suppose.

"The airport thing," she shake her head as I look at her, "I do understand why you walked away John Paul, really I do, I'd probably have done the same thing in that situation, but he was so upset when he told me, "Why couldn't he see that I just wasn't ready for that, I'm not strong like him, I've never been strong like him," he cried to me and I really didn't know what to tell him, so I just hugged him as he cried his heart out." I swallow to try and get rid of the lump in my throat, "When he stopped crying, he just looked at me and told me that he was an idiot and that he didn't deserve you, he knew it and you'd shown him that in the end."

"Oh God… I never…" I begin and then shake my head, "Why'd he think that? I just told him I deserved more, as in more than he could give me, I never stopped loving him, but I just couldn't come here and be his secret, be hidden away somewhere, I couldn't."

"I know John Paul, and I told him that, some days after that night I told him just that and he listened and he nodded and well he told me he wanted you back, that he'd get you back somehow, he just had to get stronger, stop caring about what people might or might not think and just focus on what was important."

"He said you told him to send that text?"

"I did, well he'd written it, told me a couple of days before that he'd sent you a text but then admitted that he hadn't, that he wasn't sure if he should, that you wouldn't want to know, so I just told him to send it, he'd lost you already so what had he to lose, might be a bit harsh, but he sent it." shrugging her shoulders she continues, "When you didn't reply after a week, he just, he was a mess, telling me he was stupid and that he should've known better and everything, I just told him to have faith in himself, that maybe you weren't ready yet to get in touch with him at that time…"

"I wasn't… ready that is, not at all."

"Yeah I figured as much," she smiles warmly, "Well the next couple of months, we went out a bit, me and him, clubs and such, he'd go with girls and then tell me the next day how wrong he felt in doing that, like he was cheating on you or something and then he stopped with that too…" she sighs, "We went to this gay club once, well us girls and Craig and…" she shakes her head again, "It wasn't for him either, he…. Well he was a hit with the guys in the club, never seen so many heads turn as I did when he walked by and the guys checked him out, but it was as if he didn't even notice, we had a good night don't get me wrong, but it just wasn't his scene." She shrugs, "Then one day he told me he was going to get in touch with you somehow and then nothing after that, he just didn't talk about it anymore, but he was more open to being together with all of us, not just me, and when the guys began asking him about why he was still single he told them that he was still in love with his ex and didn't want anyone else."

"He actually said that?" I smile and she nods and it warms my heart, I know he'd told me this earlier, but well it's always nice to hear I suppose.

"The guys though, wouldn't give it up that easy, tried setting him up on dates and he'd not go, or make up plans on the spot, he dodged them all… Tonight was the first time they'd brought a girl home with them."

"Well they know now," I shake my head and chuckle, "How did they react?"

"Oh alright I suppose, shocked mostly, that poor girl didn't see it coming at all, but it's out there now, innit?"

"Suppose so, they, you don't think he lost them as mates, do you? I mean just from that outburst, things he said and all."

"Nah, I think he just has to talk to them, explain things."

"Yeah, is what I told him too," I smile, "We'll see later how it goes, eh?" She smiles at me and tells me that yeah, we'll see. "And thank you Rae, thank you so much for being there for him, being a friend to him," I tell her as I grip her hand and squeeze it tightly, "He's no good on his own and I'm just glad he had someone here who was on his side, someone who cared about him, someone he could confide in."

We fall into a comfortable silence afterwards and just watch tv, it's still fairly early and neither one of us is tired, Rae offers to make us some tea and as she's in the kitchen my phone starts ringing, sighing I pick it up and see it's my mother calling once more, I think about ignoring it, but then end up picking up.

"Hi mum,"

"So now you finally pick up," are her first words.

"Yeah, sorry, we've been busy."

"John Paul what are you thinking getting back with him, have you forgotten how much he hurt you?"

"I love him mum, I never stopped, I couldn't…" I tell her, "It's like he's the man for me and he just wasn't ready, wasn't ready to be that for me then."

"But he is now?"

"Yeah, yeah he is," I smile as I say that, "He's told another person about me, about us, and he told others with me in the room, he's different now."

"How'd you mean?"

"He's… He's not scared, not ashamed, he wants me, he loves me and it's clear as day, and I want him…"

"I thought you'd moved on from him, you never said anything."

"That's because I know you don't like him, think he's bad news."

"I don't," she lies to me and I chuckle at that.

"Yes you do mum, you told Elliot as much,"

"No I didn't!"

"Mum you did, I heard you… I know you don't like him but it's my life and he's the man I love and nothing you or anyone else says will change my mind."

She sighs and there is silence for a bit, me waiting for whatever she has to say and her clearly thinking things through.

"If you are sure about this son…"

"I am, completely and utterly sure, I love him."

She sighs again, "Right well then I'm happy for you John Paul, really truly happy."

"Yeah?"

"Of course, it is your life and if you are sure then I won't object to you being with Craig."

"Thanks mum," I tell her and smile as Rae comes in with our teas.

"Is he there, I want to talk to him," She tells me and I shake my head.

"No, he's in his room sleeping,"

"Oh… Well I'll want to talk to him at some point," She says in her serious voice, "Gotta make sure he treats my baby properly this time round." I chuckle at that.

"He will mum, he'll treat me properly and I'll treat him properly too, it's a fresh start and we won't mess it up this time." I look at Rae before continuing, "Look I've gotta go, I'm sort of being rude ignoring one of Craig's housemates and all, but we can talk when I get back home, eh?"

"Yes we should talk, we haven't talked for a while, just you and me, what with everything that has gone on here lately." She tells me and I nod my head in agreement, "When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure yet," I shrug I hadn't exactly planned on getting back together with Craig, I had hoped, but not dared think we'd get back together, "In a week maybe, dunno."

"Oh and that's alright, you won't miss school or anything?"

"I'll phone Hannah later, have her take some notes for me in the few classes I have with her and I suppose I'll call Warren too," I really hadn't planned this at all, "I dunno, I'll sort it all somehow, I just need to be here now, we need some time together."

"I understand son, take care."

"I will, bye mum." I tell her and then finish the call with a small smile on my lips.

**Craig**

I wake up and I'm alone in bed, where is he, where's John Paul? I sit up and for a moment I think that I've dreamt it all, I begin to panic and my eyes frantically search the room and then they land on his bag near the closet and I just relax, he's here, he's really here. I get out of bed, rubbing my hands over my eyes as I leave the room. He's not in the bathroom I notice so I continue my downwards journey through the house and then I hear his voice, or well his laugh and I'm at ease again. I enter the living room and see him and Rae watching a movie and I just watch him for a moment from the door, he just looks so beautiful, so much like the John Paul I met on that first day back at school and yet so much different, he's changed so much since then, been through so much, lived through a secret relationship with me, left me, tried to move on and made a huge mistake with that Priest, but well had he not made that mistake he wouldn't be here now, he'd not realized he still really truly only wanted me. I can't say I'm best pleased that he couldn't realize it properly on his own, but we all deal with things differently and I am hardly one to speak about making idiotic decisions.

"Craig, are you joining us anytime soon, or will you stand there staring at me for the rest of the night," he suddenly says before turning his head and smiling at me. I chuckle and walk over to him, dropping down on his lap kissing his lips, "Hey sweetheart," he wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me tenderly on the cheek.

"Hey," I smile and make myself comfortable, slipping of his lap and just snuggling close to him on the sofa. "Where's everyone else?" I wonder as I look at Rae.

"Gone out."

"Oh… How long have you been up?" I look at John Paul and he tells me he didn't fall asleep, and that they've been down here talking and watching tv for some hours. "Why didn't you wake me then?" I practically whine.

"Cause you needed to rest sweetheart, and besides I wanted to talk to Rae for a bit, you know get to know the other person who is important to you, without you being there to stop us from talking about you." He tells me with a kiss, and I pout at that.

"Oi you, I wouldn't have stopped you from talking." I say with a frown, but he can tell I'm only kidding.

"You might not have, but we wouldn't have talked as freely as we did, I don't think… But it's done now, and you're rested so it's all good."

"Hmm I suppose," I grumble and turn my head to look at the tv.

"We've got loads of time to spend together from now on," he continues to talk as he brushes his hand over mine, "But I want your friends to like me too, you know, me as in me and not me as in one half of us." He says that and I can't stop myself from smiling, I kiss him and rest my head on his shoulder, I don't need to say anything, he's said it all and I know he's right.

"I thought I'd dreamt it all," I tell him as I look at him and he frowns, "Dreamt that you'd come here, dreamt that we were back together. I woke up and you weren't there and for a moment I just thought it had all been a wonderful dream."

"It not, it's a wonderful reality," he tells me and I smile before kissing him, "It's you and me against the world from now on Craig, us together as a proper couple, yeah?"

I look at him and I can't do anything other than agree with him, because I'm done with the hiding away, with being ashamed and scared and letting what others think control me, I want him, I know this, I've known this for so long now, and now I am finally able to show him properly, finally able to do what he asked me to do that day at the airport. "Yeah a proper couple," I smile my answer and I can see the joy in his face at this, I can tell he's still a bit unsure about me actually being able to being with him, but I'll prove it to him, I'll show him in the time that he's here, I'll show him and then he'll know for sure how I feel about him, how much I love him. "How long are you staying for?"

"Dunno, week or so, why?"

"Oh.. No reason," I bite my lip for a moment as he nods his head and returns his gaze to the tv. "John Paul," I say after a minute and he looks at me with a smile on his lips.

"Yeah?"

"Would you go out on a date with me on Friday?" I ask him, that'll give me tomorrow to set something up, I figure I can do it while I'm at school, I look at him and can see the joy in his eyes.

"Of course I will Craig."

"Great, then I'll pick you up on Friday, around 7-ish." I nod my head as he smiles, and seal this agreement with a kiss to his cheek.

"Awwww," we both look over at Rae and I roll my eyes, "That's so romantic, god you two are so sweet," she sighs happily, "I'd love to stay up with the two of you, but I better go to bed now, have some classes tomorrow that I can't miss," she says sadly before looking at me, "And neither can you really," I nod my head and look apologetically at John Paul.

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be, it's your school, and really this visit of mine wasn't planned, I'll just explore Dublin or something like that tomorrow," he smiles as he gets up and grips my hand, "Let's go to bed then," he continues as he looks at me and I nod my head.

We quickly turn off the tv and place the dirty cups in the dishwasher, before all three of us head upstairs, "Right, well good night you two," Rae tells us as she gives each of us a kiss on the cheek, "Oh, you need me to wake you tomorrow Craig?" she asks and I just smile and shake my head before she disappears into her room.

"Come on then," I tell John Paul as I head us up to my room and as we reach it, I turn on the lights in there and turn off the lights in the stairs and the hallway. It doesn't take us long to get undressed and I set the alarm on my phone, John Paul doing the same thing on his, just in case mine doesn't go off, and then I snuggle into his chest pressing soft kisses to it, as I wrap my arm tightly around his waist, "I love you," I tell him as I close my eyes.

"Love you too sweetheart," he replies as he presses a kiss to my hair, I sigh contentedly and as I lay there I hear him drift off and soon after I follow him to the land of the dreams, the last thing I remember thinking about is that he is really here with me in Dublin.


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is basically a whole lot of talking, once these two get started it's difficult to shut them up, but ehm yeah, enjoy. Oh there are some sexy bits, not that many, but well enough, I guess.**

**John Paul**

This morning had been slightly weird, the alarms went off and as we got up I noticed he was hard, so I sucked him off and he practically begged me to fuck him afterwards, so I did, and boy was he loud, he was screaming and moaning so much that I was sure he'd woken up everyone else in the house, but he didn't really care he told me as I voiced my concerns, before slipping out of bed and getting into his dressing gown, and as I did the same he ushered us both to the bathroom for a quick shower, I knew he had to get to school so I made sure that it was just that, a shower and no funny business, he seemed slightly put off by that, but I promised him there would be time for that later.

We'd gotten dressed rather quickly, him smiling as I put on my yellow and green striped hooded shirt, commenting on how much he loved it on me and me I smiled as he pulled on a simple t-shirt to go with his jeans.

We got downstairs, him with his school bag in one hand and my hand in the other and headed straight for the kitchen where Joe and Kate were sat with Rae, both of them and even Rae to an extent looked slightly embarrassed as we walked in, and I knew for sure that they'd heard us earlier.

Craig greeted Rae and ignored the others, but I didn't, though Craig didn't really let me talk to them that much, as he decided it was a perfect opportunity to suck on my face right then, so we did that and had I let him, I think he'd have had me fuck him in the kitchen in front of them, he was keen, I could feel that. But I stopped him and he whimpered, but I looked into his eyes and he understood. He asked Rae if she was ready to head out and together we left the house, all three of us.

I walked with them to Trinity, him holding my hand all the way there, which was, even if I wanted it, kinda weird, no one said anything and no one noticed really, but it just felt slightly weird for some reason, I could tell by looking at him though that he wasn't bothered, wasn't bothered at all.

He gave me his key to the house and said he'd call me when he got finished with his lectures to see if I was home or if he was to meet me somewhere in town and with a final kiss good bye, he walked off with Rae.

Now I'm sat in this café waiting for him to arrive, he'd called me as promised and I told him where I was so he was on his way. I ordered some coffee for him and just sat looking through the book I'd bought on my wanderings around Dublin. "Hey," I look up just as he places a kiss on my cheek and sits down next to me, "Had a good day?" he asks and I'm about to answer when the waitress comes over with our coffees.

As she leaves I smile and place the book down on the table, "Yeah, it was alright, looked around for a bit, you know music shops and all," I tell him and point to the bag under the table, which holds some records, making him chuckle, "What? I've wanted some of those for ages and they're cheaper here."

"Well that's good then," he smiles as he looks through the bag, before placing it back down on the floor and looking at me, "I couldn't stop thinking about you today," he tells me and I smile as I look at him, "Wanna go home and… You know…" he lifts his eyebrows suggestively making me chuckle and then shake my head. "What? Why nooooot." He whines adorably and it just warms my heart.

"Sweetheart, there's nothing I'd like to do more than to just do that with you all the time," I start and he's beaming, "But," his face drops, "I'd like to think that we're more than that, that what we're about is more than just that." I tell him and can see my words being processed in his mind, "Don't you agree?"

He looks at me, then slowly nods, "Yeah, yeah you're right," he says, "So what do you fancy doing then?"

"Dunno, just being here with you, or maybe going for a walk and just talk, cause we never talked before, not really and look what that did to us, eh?" I tell him and he nods, he knows I'm right.

"Well it's just begun raining so how bout we stay here for a bit?" he tells me and as I look outside I can see the rain pouring down so I smile and nod my head. "What do you want us to talk about?"

"Ehm…" I bite my lip for a moment thinking about it and then just say it, "Why didn't you tell me, back then, that Sarah begged you to take her back and you picked me over her?" I can see the question on his face so I continue, "Rae told me that, when it came out about us, you went to Sarah's and she'd begged you to take her back, to go to Dublin together the two of you, but you'd told her you were in love with me and wanted me, why didn't you tell me?"

He sighs and shrugs, "I didn't think it was important, I mean it was sort of private, you know between me and her and I told you the next day, I told you I wanted you, that I was done with the pretending and all that, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but…" I sigh, "But I thought I was your second choice," he frowns at this, "I thought you'd gone round hers to beg her for forgiveness, beg her to take you back and that she'd turned you down so you'd just settled with me." I tell him, finally after all this time I tell him how I felt that day and I can see the shock on his face.

"I picked you John Paul, I wanted you, only you. You should've told me this back then, why didn't you?"

"Because I was happy, regardless of it all I was just happy that I had you, that I finally could call you my boyfriend." I tell him honestly and I see him nodding his head.

"Well I didn't go round hers to beg her for forgiveness, I just, I felt she deserved an explanation, that I owed her that much. It surprised me when she said it though, said we could put it all behind us, go back to being together, but… Well I didn't want her so why stay with her?"

"You didn't even consider it, even for a minute?"

"No, I wanted you, you and only you… I mean I turned her down twice didn't I?"

I nod my head and smile softly, "Yeah, yeah you did, but I just wish you'd told me."

"Why?"

"Cause that was you committing to me, you showing that you wanted to be with me and had I known…" I sigh and shake my head, "Had I know that, I think I might have come with you that day at the airport, it would have shown me that there was some hope out there, that you could someday walk out in the street holding my hand, or kissing me or something out in public." I sigh again and look at him seeing the sadness pass his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles and I can tell he's blaming himself for our break up.

"Don't be," I tell him honestly, "Don't be, it's in the past, and we're here, 6 months apart is nothing really, it could've been a whole lifetime and that would have been much harder to deal with in the long run."

"I suppose, but I didn't tell you because I didn't think it mattered and I didn't want to make Sarah out as some pathetic girl who was begging her ex to take her back, I mean I care for her, I think I always will, she was the only girl to ever treat me properly and what do I do to her in return? Treat her like my ex's had treated me, she deserved better than that."

"What we did to her Craig, I was as much part of it as you were." I tell him as I grip his hand, "Don't put the blame on you alone, we both deceived her."

"I guess, but well I felt that it didn't matter so I never told you… Sort of wish that I had now." He chuckles slightly and then remembers something, "Did Rae tell you what I told Sarah the other time round?" I nod my head and his face drops, "I didn't mean it like that though, I really didn't, it was just… I wanted to…"

"You wanted her to not hurt, I know Craig, I understand, don't worry about it."

"You sure?"

"Positive, no worries about it, okay?"

"Okay."

I smile and brush a kiss to his lips, showing him that I'm not bothered about it, just to reassure him and he relaxes when he feels my lips on his.

"So how was your day?" I wonder and he smiles as he settles back in his chair.

"Great, I told more people about you," he tells me proudly, "Some mates saw us kissing in the morning and came over after one of the classes and so I just told them about who you were and what you meant to me and that I loved you to bits."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and you know what?"

"What?"

"They weren't bothered at all, they were all like, oh… okay… Can we meet him, and then off they went when I said yeah." He chuckles slightly, "So we're meeting them for drinks tomorrow, before our date," he says sheepishly, "Hope you don't mind, since I'm gonna be working Saturday, and on Sunday I want you all to myself."

"I don't mind sweetheart,"

"Good, so now how bout we get back home while the rain has stopped, I think it's going to rain all day so unless you want to be sat here all day long." He looks expectantly at me and I nod my head as I get up and grab my bag.

"I'll just go pay for these coffees," I tell him but he won't hear of it and dashes up to the counter, paying for everything and then as he returns he grips my hand and walks us out of the café.

"It's not that far from here," he tells me as he walks us down the street and turns right.

We walk in contented silence for a bit, both of us just happy to be together like this and it makes me smile that he isn't really bothered about holding my hand out in public, but still I have that sense of it being a bit weird, I don't really know why, but I let it go, I'll let myself think about it later. "You should really sit down and talk to your housemates today," I eventually tell him and he stops in his tracks, letting go of my hand, rubbing it over his face before looking at me. "I mean I think they pretty much got it into their heads that we're together, what with how loud you were this morning and then the show we put up in the kitchen," he chuckles at that, "But, well they didn't know that your ex was a boy, did they now, so really they haven't done anything wrong, other than trying to force you out with some strange girl."

He sighs and begins to walk again, me falling into step with him moments later, "You're right… You're right," he says after a while and I nod my head. We don't say anything else, because just then it begins to rain again and it just pours down, "Come on, it's not far," he shouts as he sets off running, and I have no choice but to follow him.

By the time we reach the house some minutes later we're drenched, literally, he frantically looks for his key and I remember that he gave it to me so I pull it out and hand it to him, he unlocks the door and we both dash inside before he slams it shut. Rae comes out of the kitchen to see who came in and just chuckles as she sees the state of us.

"Come on, upstairs," Craig tells me and drags me up, "Stick the kettle on, will ya Rae?" he calls out to her as we reach his room and I hear her call back that she already did.

We undress quickly, and stand butt naked in the middle of the room, he finds us two towels and quickly we dry our hair and then get under the covers huddled together to get some heat back into our bodies. I kiss him, as I lay there with my arms around him, I kiss him, and he kisses me back and then he's on his back and I'm on top of him, grinding my hardening cock down on his cock and we're really getting heated up now, I move on to nibble on his neck, suck on his pulse point and that's when I feel it, I feel him tense up and then my cock is covered in his juices as he growls his release into my ear, and that brings me over the top too and I come too, my juices blending with his in between us.

"I love you," he whispers in my ear.

"I love you too sweetheart," I whisper back.

We lay together like that for a little bit, just making out and just holding each other, the evidence of our love drying onto our bodies, "We should probably shower," he says after a bit and looking down at myself and then him I agree so we get up, he finds some clean clothes and as I look through my bag I see I've run out of things to wear.

"Ehm… You got something I can wear?" I ask him as I hold out the practically empty bag and he nods his head, finding some jeans, boxers and a top that I can put on, we put on the dressing gowns and with the clothes and towels in hand, we head for the shower.

He gets a bit frisky with me in the shower but I stop him and tell him to behave himself or there'll be no more sex for the duration of my stay, he pouts adorably but stops trying to grope me and we finish the shower in peace.

"If they give me any grief," he mumbles as we go down the stairs to see if everyone else is in and I just chuckle making him glare at me, "It's not funny,"

"I know it isn't and I'm not laughing about that, I'm laughing at your reaction sweetheart, two of them seemed perfectly fine this morning, didn't they?"

"I suppose," he shrugs before entering the kitchen and flicking on the kettle, I look at him for a moment, then set out helping him make our teas, I set up the mugs, put the tea bags in them and as the water boils I pour it into the mugs, adding the milk he's holding out for me and then sugar into both mugs.

"There, all done," I smile as I discard the tea bags and hand him his mug, smiling he accepts it and drinks a sip, as he slips his hand into mine and slowly walks us from the kitchen to the living room. Entering the room, we see Rae is sat there with Joe and Kate. I smile politely as they all turn to look at us, Craig however just sits down in the armchair, pulling me down next to him, shuffling about until we're both somewhat comfortable, and then he drinks his tea in silence clearly ignoring the two people who are sat next to Rae. I sigh and shake my head as I look at Rae andshe just smiles back.

"So," I begin and all eyes are on me, "Did you guys have a good night yesterday?" I decide to just break the awkward silence and I can feel Craig's eyes on my face, but if he's not going to be the adult then I might as well be.

"Yeah it was good thanks," Kate replies and then we're back to silence for a bit, "Did you have a good night yesterday?" I look at her as she speaks and smile gently, relieved that she's at least trying.

"Uh huh yeah, we sort of just stayed in with Rae, talking and stuff, watched a movie, you know, just being boring really." She smiles and nods, I look from her to Joe and see he's looking in my direction, well staring really, looking at Craig I see that he is looking at Joe, they're staring at each other and I sigh as I look from one guy to the other and then I just nudge Craig in the ribs, he looks at me and I just look into his eyes before nodding my head slightly towards Joe.

He sighs dramatically and then looks over at Joe, "I'm sorry about yesterday," he says finally and then gives me this look as if asking if I'm happy now, which just makes me chuckle.

"I'm sorry too," we both look over at Joe, "We shouldn't have done what we did, but we really meant no harm, you know that, don't you?"

Craig nods his head, "Yeah I know, I guess you guys just overwhelmed me or something," he shrugs, "So, we're cool now?" he adds and Joe and Kate both nod their heads.

"Why didn't you tell us though?" Kate wonders as she looks from Craig to me and back to him again, "I mean it's not like it's the biggest deal in the world is it, loads of people are gay."

"I'm not gay," I roll my eyes as he says that, and look at Rae who just smiles sympathetically and then I can feel Craig's glare on my face.

"You sleep with a bloke Craig," Joe says with a raised eyebrow, "How are you not gay?"

"I'm not, it's just John Paul, no other guy has ever done anything for me, only John Paul," Craig tells them, "I just fell in love with him, if he hadn't existed, or if we'd never met then I'd never gotten with a guy" he grips my hand then before placing a kiss on my cheek, "It's only him," he continues quietly as I turn my head to look at him, "It's only you," he repeats as he looks into my eyes.

"So you still fancy girls then?" Joe wonders and I can see the annoyance in Craig's eyes at this, but he remains calm as he looks over at Joe.

"No, I only fancy John Paul."

"Okay… But.." Joe looks confused and he's looking from Craig to me trying to understand, I can tell that he is trying.

"Look it's… You love Kate, right?" Craig tries to explain.

"Yeah of course I do," Joe smiles as he looks at Kate and she smiles back.

"Well remember how you felt when you first fell for her, how you just knew you wanted to be with her?"

"Yeah."

"That's how I feel about John Paul, it just happened last year around this time, when I just realized I felt something for him that was more than you feel for a mate, and…" he looks at me now, "Well it scared the shit out of me to begin with, but… I hated it when he got a boyfriend, I was absolutely fuming and well I was jealous because I started to think of John Paul as mine, though I wasn't ready to really understand what it all meant." He is looking at me intently as he continues to talk. "I couldn't stop thinking about him, all the time I thought about him, walked out of an exam to get to be with him and… Well I wasn't exactly the nicest person to be around those days, but he still stuck round by me, cause he loved me too." Sighing he turns to look at the others again as I rest my head on his shoulder and grip his hand in support.

"I was a real prat back then, had a girlfriend and well a boyfriend too, just keeping him secret, kept telling him I'd end it with her, anything really and then not doing it, making up excuses and all." I can feel him shake his head, "I didn't want to be in love with a guy, but I was and I couldn't not be in love with John Paul, but I was so scared that people would find out… I suppose it all went really well, my lies and all, both of them were happy for a bit and didn't give me any grief, but then someone else found out about all this, John Paul's ex, cause I made him dump his boyfriend you know, but I couldn't dump my girlfriend." I look up at him briefly and smile sympathetically, I know he needs to say all this, but I know it isn't easy for him.

"But yeah Spike, that's his name, he guessed I suppose and confronted me and then Sarah, that's my ex, she overheard and well she thought I was cheating with another girl, I said no and John Paul covered for me… I was so close to telling her afterwards but panicked; I had it on the tip of my tongue but ended up asking her to marry me instead." I close my eyes at this, "John Paul didn't know, I didn't tell him, told her to keep it secret… But she couldn't not for long and she went and told my mother…" I feel him squeeze my hand tightly and lifting my head I can see him looking down at me for a moment, I nod for him to continue and so he does. "Well needless to say John Paul showed up at the engagement party my mother was throwing and saw us together, I took him upstairs told him I'd only done it cause of that day when Spike had confronted us and I think, I think for a moment I had him, for a moment there he was going to let me off the hook, but then I went and said the exact same words I had told Sarah some minutes earlier, to try and calm him down and well…" He pauses and I pick up the story.

"He heard some noise outside and went to check it out, so I grabbed his phone and sent a text to Sarah, telling her to come upstairs…" I shake my head as I say it out loud now, "He came back and wanted to go back down, but I, well I asked him to show me that he loved me… And there we were practically half naked on his bed, kissing when Sarah comes in…" I see Craig wincing at this and kiss him gently on the cheek, "Let's just say it all came out then, cause she ran downstairs and told everyone what she'd seen, Craig was upset with me cause he found out I had sent that text and she was hitting him and I tried to stop her, but got kicked out by his idiot of an brother…"

"And well my mum and brother really didn't take it that well, Sarah demanded to know everything so I told her and she left." He tells them.

"I talked to her outside, told her things, showed her this," I lift my hand and show them the watch he'd given me, "He gave me this some weeks before, it belonged to his granddad, I got it cause he loved me and well I tried to… I dunno make her see that he'd used us both but understandably she didn't wanna hear it."

"You never said?" I look at Craig and smile before shrugging, he nods his head in understanding.

"My family didn't understand at all, mum was in denial I think and Jake, my brother was really an idiot, just clearly disgusted with me." He sighs as he continues, "I had Darren on my side, my stepbrother and then Jack, my stepdad, talked to me and he was really supportive and just told me I was still the same Craig to him, no matter what."

"Mum came to talk to me later on in the night, more or less telling me to get back together with Sarah, not thinking that what I had with John Paul was serious, or looking out for her own interests I suppose, but I saw him, I saw him waiting outside and ran out, confronted him about it, said some really hurtful things."

"And I put him in his place, made him see that he'd been a coward." I smile gently as I look at him which makes him chuckle and nod his head.

"Day after they were still on my neck, but I'd made my decision, so I went round to Sarah's to explain properly, and she still wanted me, wanted me back, practically begged me and it just hurt so much, because I hurt her already and then to turn her down, to tell her I was in love with John Paul." He shakes his head, "She deserved much more than me, and I hope she finds it someday."

"I was at home, literally crying my heart out, cause one of our mates, Nancy, had been round telling me Craig was begging Sarah for forgiveness and I thought he'd done it again, picked her over me."

"But we got together the next day, I knew who I wanted, I knew I wanted him." He smiles at me now and I smile back.

"He asked me to come to Dublin with him and I agreed, his mum sort of began to accept it, but his brother couldn't or wouldn't and… Well we made it to the airport and he was sort of off with me, had been all those days where we were together as a proper couple, but I suppose that was just the shock of it all. Anyways, his brother showed up at the airport and they stood there talking, I went over to them at some point, just when I heard Craig say he wasn't gay and it just killed me."

"You didn't hear the next bit?" He wonders and looks at me, I frown and shake my head. "I told him that I was in love with you, he didn't understand but well it's my life, and he sort of supported me and all."

"Oh…" I bite my lip and shake my head, "Well there we were stood in line to check in and I see this couple kissing, and all the time I hear his words in my head, him saying he isn't gay and I ask him to kiss me, but he couldn't… He was scared, literally scared and I knew that as much as I loved him that I deserved more."

"So he left and I came here broken hearted and all alone."

"But I never stopped loving him and he never stopped loving me… And here we are now." I smile warmly as I look into his eyes, "Here we are now, eh?"

"Yeah and I'm not letting you go this time, no more shame, no more fear."

"Just love," I sigh happily and he brushes a kiss to my cheek as his reply.

"So you see Joe, I just fell in love, madly, deeply, head over heels and I couldn't cope to begin with… And well you've seen how I've been here in Dublin all this time, but all this time I never stopped loving him, I thought he didn't want me anymore though, but I was willing to fight for him, I was going to go back and get him, but he beat me to it, he came here instead."

"Wow," we look over at Kate, to see her crying, "God that was beautiful," I frown and look at Craig who looks just as confused as I'm feeling, "It makes sense all of this, it really does, I'm really happy for you Craig, for both of you." She says as she gets up and walking over to him she hugs him and kisses his cheek, then does the same with me.

"Yeah mate, wow…" Joe utters from his seat, "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters really."

"I am, I've never been happier than I am when I'm with John Paul."

"So will you be staying permanently then?" Joe asks me and I shake my head.

"No, have got to go back for school and work, just a week or so for now."

"But he'll come visit again, maybe stay for longer?" Craig asks hopefully and I smile as I nod my head.

"You'll not be able to keep me away sweetheart."

"And how's your mother and brother dealing with you wanting to be with a bloke now?" Kate asks as she retakes her seat next to her boyfriend, making Craig sigh as he looks at me. "What?" Kate wonders as she sees the look that passes between us.

"Ehm…" I begin, "Well when I stayed behind, Jake was always really nasty with me, blaming me for messing with Craig's head." I sigh and then smile as Craig grips my hand, "Frankie… Well she was alright to begin with, suppose she could tell I was hurting, but when Craig didn't come home for Christmas, I dunno she wasn't as nice," I shrug, "Doubt she has time to worry about Craig now though, what with Jake and all." I shake my head as I think of what the psycho had been doing to Nancy.

"What about Jake?" Joe asks.

"He lost it, utterly and completely, that mate of ours Nancy, he married her, broke her down totally, tried to rape her on their wedding night, then when she left him and tried to get custody over his kid, her nephew, who has leukemia, and isn't Jake's kid after all, well he kidnapped him and tried to kill himself and Charlie in his car…" Craig shakes his head, "He tried to leave the country too, but mum called the cops on him and he's in prison now, or the hospital being treated I suppose. So yeah I doubt mum has time to worry about me, cause last I heard she was blaming everyone else for Jake losing it."

"Wow, sounds like something from a soap," Kate utters and it just makes me laugh cause it does, it's like a bad storyline from some crappy soap and her saying that lightens the mood in the room.

"I suppose I should call mum, tell her, take her shouting and all." Craig sighs after a couple of minutes of us all chatting about nothing in particular.

"Suppose so sweetheart, and then afterwards call Steph, she was one of the few to be on our side last year." I smile my support and after a minute or so he gets up and excuses himself to go and make the phone call. I sit there for some minutes after and talk to the others, knowing that he needs his space to talk to her. I'll go up to him in a couple of minutes.

**Hope you enjoyed, as always reviews and comments are appreciated. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I wanted to wait a couple of more days with this, but then thought nah, I've got it written, might as well post it. **

**I think some of you will really enjoy the John Paul part of this chapter.**

**Craig**

"Craig!" Mum squeals excitedly, "How are you?"

"Hi mum," I smile as I lay down on the bed, "Yeah, doing alright, just thought I'd call and talk to you for a bit."

"Anything in particular you want to talk about?"

"Yeah something kinda big happened," I bite my lip for a moment.

"What?"

"Ehm… I've… Well I… I'm in love with John Paul," I say and brace myself.

She laughs, "Don't be ridiculous, that's over… You've moved on from him, and his sort." I sigh as she says that.

"No I've not… I'm in love with him and we're together now."

"No you're not, he's still here in the village," she says, "Besides you're involved with that Rae girl." What? How on earth did she get to that conclusion?

"I'm not with Rae, we're just mates, she was there for me, when I was trying to understand why John Paul left me…"

"Of course she's your girlfriend Craig, you've been going on and on about her.."

"Mum John Paul is here in the house with us, him and Rae get along, and if I'm with her then I've really been doing some things a boyfriend shouldn't when his girlfriend is in the house." I say angrily. "Listen to what I'm saying will you, just for once, pay attention to something other than what it is you want to see or hear… You did enough of the denial thing with Jake and see where that got you eh? Him locked up, Nancy in bits and then you go and blame Steph, you should be ashamed of yourself mum." I practically yell at her and whatever comment she had coming my way fades away. "I am in love with John Paul, I am with John Paul, he means the world to me and will always have a special place in my heart. I love him."

I look towards the door as it's opened and see John Paul coming in, he crawls up to lay beside me, stroking my arm with his hand, "I love you John Paul," I tell him and he smiles as my mother gasps.

"He's there now?" she wonders, and I smile.

"Yeah, we're in bed together," I can see John Paul doesn't think I should've said that but I don't care.

"You're what?"

"In bed together, I'm holding him with one arm while talking to you."

"But.. Craig… You're not gay."

"I'm in love, and I thought you should know before anyone else… Now I'm going, I have something more fun to be doing, talk to you later mother." I say and then finish the call before breaking out in a fit of giggles.

"You shouldn't have done that," John Paul says but I shake my head.

"She thought I was with Rae, convinced herself I was back to being normal or whatever." I shrug, "Had to put her straight, didn't I, and she thinks you're still in the village, as if that makes any difference." I kiss him warmly on his lips before sitting back up and scrolling through my contacts, "Steph," I tell him and he nods. I wait as the call connects and after it rings a couple of times Steph answers.

"Hi Craig,"

"Hey Steph, how are you doing?"

"Great, just relaxing at home with Max, is all, you?"

"Not interrupting something am I?"

"No no, we're just watching a movie," She tells me.

"Oh good, yeah I'm doing great too, just relaxing in bed with John Paul,"

"You what?"

"You heard," I tell her and smile as John Paul chuckles.

"God Craig, you're such a child," He tells me as he presses a wet kiss to my cheek, "That's why I love you so much, sweetheart."

Before I manage to reply to him I have to pull the phone away from my ear as Steph starts to squeal loudly, "Oh my god, I'm so happy for the two of you."When she seems to have calmed down, or taken it down a notch I put the phone back to my ear.

"Yeah thanks Steph, we're pretty happy about it too," I smile as I look at John Paul who's smiling widely next to me.

"I'm glad you told me, it's been some weird weeks here lately as you know, and besides getting engaged this has really made my day, some good news again."

"Yeah well, John Paul thought it would be best to call you after I called mum, and he was right."

"Why, what'd she say?"

"She went into denial mode again, thinking I had a girlfriend and all, kinda told her off, told her to listen and see things for once, cause she already messed up with Jake and all."

"Craig!"

"What? You know how she made me feel the first time round, her and Jake… and then I hear from John Paul that Jake has been nasty towards him… Honestly I could care less about that psycho now and mum, she better accept this or she's out of my life."

"Craig, you don't mean that."

"Of course I do… I love John Paul and I won't let what those two think or say control me anymore."

Steph sighs and after a minute she speaks again, "You've really grown up so much this past year, you know that?" I smile at this, "Craig whatever happens, I'm happy for you, you and John Paul have my support, you always had it, even back then."

"Thanks Steph… Oh and you know heads up if mum comes round and blames you for this." I tell her and she chuckles.

"Well she can try, I kicked her out last time, and I'll do the same if she tries to put the blame on me again… Just cause she's blind to the truth doesn't mean the rest of us have to take her anger."

"I know, but you know still heads up Steph, just in case."

"I know, and thanks… You two enjoy the time you have now, yeah?"

"We will Steph, thanks… Love you."

"Love you too Craig." She tells me before I finish the call and drop the phone on the bedside drawer, wrapping my arms around John Paul, pulling him to me, kissing him softly as we lay there on the bed.

"I really love you, John Paul."

"I really love you too, Craig." He smiles warmly as he snuggles down, resting his head on my shoulder.

"You should call Kieron," I tell him after a while of us just laying there in contented silence, he lifts his head up to look at me then nods his head, "Unless Myra told him already," I sigh and chuckle at his facial expression. "What, he's the priest and she's probably worried about you, worried I'll hurt you or something."

"Well she said she'll not object to us being together, so I suppose she's fine about it."

"Suppose, but still for all she knew you'd gotten over me, and now suddenly you're in Dublin staying with me and we're back to being together, might need someone to talk to who'll not go spreading it to everyone else." I say and he thumps me, "Owww." I pout at this.

"Oi, my sisters are no gossips," he looks at me, "Some of them.." I give him a look, "Okay well most of them have gobs on them, but they'll keep it quiet about you and me if I ask them to, I'm sure of it.." he says, but I can see the doubt in his eyes.

"They shouldn't keep quiet about us, no shame no hiding away anymore remember?" I tell him and he nods sheepishly, "but if you're sure about it, then I suppose you're right. I'd still call him though, tell him that you don't want him, he deserves to hear it from you, don't you think?"

"I want you and only you," he tells me making me smile, "And I'll call him, just later yeah, I just wanna cuddle with you now." He rests his head back down on my shoulder and wraps his arm around my waist, snuggling in tighter.

"Okay then, I wanna cuddle with you too," I kiss his forehead and hold him tightly in my arms, smiling and still not believing that he's really here.

"You know the holding hands thing out in the street?" he says after a while.

"Yeah?"

"It's nice…" I smile as he says that, "But… It's sort of weird too," he continues making me look down on him as he raises his eyes and looks at me, "I mean I like when we do it and all, but… I dunno it's weird to do it in a way, cause well it's not really us, is it? We're blokes that's something girls usually do with their boyfriends." He sighs as he tries to explain, "I mean it's nice and all, but kinda weird I suppose…"

"I hadn't really noticed," I shrug, it was nice to hold his hand and just walk with him by my side, that's what he wanted back then and I am able to do it now, so yeah it was just a normal thing for me.

"Hmm okay, dunno, must just be me then," he shrugs, "But would you mind if we didn't do it all the time?" he looks questioningly at me, "Until I stop thinking it's weird that is."

"Whatever you want John Paul, then it's fine by me." I smile my reply, "I don't need to hold your hand to show you that I love you, but I'll do it anyways cause well it's nice as you said, but if it's too much all at once for you then we can tone it down a bit."

"You don't mind?"

"Nope, as long as I can still kiss you out there, then I'm all fine about it." He bites his lip and then nods his head shyly. So I kiss him tenderly, "Can I kiss you like that outside?" he nods, I kiss him again, this time harder, "And like that?" another nod, "How about like this?" I ask and then kiss him hard, slipping my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, loving him. I roll him onto his back and deepen the kiss, taste all of him, he groans as I pull back and suck on his bottom lip and as I release it from my mouth I look into his eyes waiting for his reply.

"You can kiss me whichever way you want, wherever you want Craig," he gasps, "But you know there are idiots out there who won't approve, so maybe we could try and be somewhat careful, eh?" He wonders, making me nod my head in agreement, "We have to look out for each other, don't we?"

"We do John Paul, we do." I smile and roll off him, down on the bed again as I hold him close to me, kissing his lips every now and then, and just feeling complete.

**John Paul**

The phone kept ringing, and ringing and ringing and I just stared at it. "John Paul, pick up your damn phone," Craig says grumpily as he stirs and then opens his eyes to see me sat up looking at the phone I'm holding in my hand. "Who's calling," he asks as he shuffles up and sits next to me, I show him and he nods his head, "You want me to give you some privacy?"

"No stay," I tell him immediately, "I just.. I suppose I better just get it over with," I sigh and then accept the call.

"John Paul?"

"Hi Kieron,"

"I've been trying to get a hold of you for a whole day now, what's going on?"

"Why'd you do that?" I wonder and hear him sighing.

"I just thought, maybe we could go back to being together."

I look at Craig and shake my head, mouthing to him that Kieron wants to be with me now. He mouths back to just tell him and get it over with.

"Oh…" I begin, "We can't Kieron, what happened between us was a mistake, we both should've stopped it and we both failed at doing that."

"No John Paul, it was right, I just needed some time to think and I know now that it was right, that we're supposed to be together."

"We're not Kieron, I can't be with you, I can't be with a Priest, I can't live as your secret, I can't."

"Then I won't be a Priest anymore, I'll quit, find some other job, then we can be together."

"No Kieron, no we can't." I sigh. "I'm not in love with you, what we had, it was lust, pure and simple, I… It just made me realize that I am still in love with Craig, my heart belongs to him, I can't be with you when I love him."

"But he doesn't want you, I want you… Look where are you, I'll come see you and we can talk about this properly."

"I'm with Craig, in Dublin," I tell him and hear him gasp, "I'm sorry Kieron, but I had to find out, I had to know if he still loved me, still wanted me and he does… We're back together now and we're staying together this time."

"You don't mean that," he sounds hurt, really hurt, I look at Craig, not knowing what to do.

"I do Kieron, I'm with Craig now, and we're out in the open, no more hiding, no more secrets, just us as a couple and that's that."

"But I'm in love with you," I sigh as he says that.

"I'm in love with Craig, please Kieron don't make this even more complicated, you're a Priest, what you do for people is simply amazing and I can't, I know that now I realize that now, that I can't ask you to give that up, I can't be selfish with you, I can't pretend to wanting to be with you when my entire body has been aching for Craig." He's crying on the other end of the line, but I have to get this out, "Being with you Kieron, as good as it was," I glance at Craig who just looks away, "As good as it was Kieron it just felt wrong the moment I woke up after it, you're not Craig and I woke up wanting Craig, needing Craig. Being with you made me realize that he's the one for me, I came here for that and we're back together now and I really am sorry if I've hurt you, but I can't pretend to want to be with you, Kieron, that's not fair for you or for me for that matter, you deserve to be happy and you wouldn't have been with me."

"Yes I would've, we would've been a great couple."

"How Kieron, when I want Craig and not you, how can we be together as a couple when one half of us doesn't want to be in the relationship." I sigh and rub my hand over my face, "Kieron I hope you find what you need, be it a relationship or a lifetime as a Priest, I hope you will be happy, that you will love and be loved, but this is the last time I'm going to speak to you, so take care and you will find happiness in the future, I know you will." I sigh, end the call and then turn off my phone.

"Poor idiot," Craig says after a minute.

"Oi, be nice, I feel bad for hurting him."

"He's an idiot," Craig repeats and shrugs his shoulders, "What exactly did he expect, that you'd jump at the chance of being in a proper relationship with him?" he shakes his head, "He's a flaming Priest for fucks sake."

"I know Craig, but still we both were involved in what happened to us, and he's left hurt while I've just moved on… I don't like hurting people, you know that."

"Come here," he holds out his arms and I gladly snuggle into his embrace, letting him comfort me and love me, "Look he'll get over it, he'll move on, be it as a Priest or a civilian or whatever, it'll hurt for a bit yeah, but you were never his to begin with."

"I wasn't?" I look up and into his eyes, he's smiling as he kisses me on the cheek.

"No you weren't, you were mine, you are mine, you'd never have had a full on relationship with him, not with me coming back for you, bringing you back to Dublin with me at some point." He tells me and I chuckle, "Not when I never got over you, and I don't think I ever would have, not with the history we two have, I'm as much yours as you are mine and nothing and no one will ever be able to break us apart ever again."

"You promise?"

"On my life John Paul, I'm not going to mess this up again, and I know you only want me, so we're together and we're staying together." He informs me as he lays back down, pulling me down with him, until I'm resting my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Sounds nice," I close my eyes, "Will it be like this then, you and me, in the sanctuary of a room whenever something unpleasant happens?"

"If you like that then yeah, if you want us to go out and walk then we can do that, whatever you want, whatever you like John Paul." He kisses my hair as I snuggle even more down onto his chest and wrap my arm tightly across his waist.

"It's nice here, I like it here…" I whisper, "I think just being with you is all that matters, don't care where it is, as long as I know you are there for me when I need you…"

"I'll always be there for you…" he interrupts me, "No more of this being apart stuff, if you're back in Hollyoaks and you need to talk you just call me and we'll talk… Okay?"

"Uh hum," I nod slowly.

"I mean it John Paul, once you go back there no matter what happens you can always call me at any time of the day and just chat… And I'll come back for a visit soon too, so that we can spend time with each other in Hollyoaks too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, soon… It's time I went back and faced mum properly, eh?" he sighs and looks at me as I look up at him again, "First time I was just so scared, so unprepared for everything, but I'm on my own two feet now over here, I know how to handle myself and as long as I have you by my side…"

"You do, always!" I tell him quickly making him smile and kiss me.

"Well as long as I have you, then I can do anything."

"Sounds nice, it will be great to have you back in the village, even if it's only for a couple of days."

"We'll sort something out John Paul, we won't go long without seeing each other, and besides this isn't like before, we both know what we want now, so at least we'll be able to be in touch when we miss each other so much that it hurts, will be able to chat on msn, write messages on Facebook and the likes, you know being apart but not being apart in a way."

"Suppose so," I sigh and then look up at him, "Best get you as my facebook friend then, eh?"

"Suppose so," he sighs, "But later, eh?"

"Yeah later, we've got time for each other now all that can wait till we're apart." I sigh again, then rest my head on his chest again, letting him rub his hand up and down my back, feeling content in a way, because he loves me and I love him and nothing will tear us apart again, nothing.

**Craig**

We ended up going down to spend time with the others an hour or so later, having just spent the time upstairs in the room cuddling and kissing and nothing else, it was nice to do, nice to be able to do that with my boyfriend and just really enjoy it, something I'd been too afraid to do before, at least in my own home and even in the McQueen house when we spent time together there, I'd usually always leave shortly after we'd had sex and we'd never really spent time together just cuddling and kissing and really taking our time, but we can now and it's really great, I love it, I'd done it before with my girlfriends of course, but it was just different with John Paul, naturally he's a bloke so that's a really big clue as to why it's different, but he's not selfish like the girls, it's not all about him, I mean yeah it's nice when I take charge and he lets me, but he never neglects me and at some point while we're kissing or anything really he somehow manages to make it about me, about making me happy and loved and I do, he makes me feel warm and loved and cared for and I love him so much for it.

We're sat watching some cheesy movie now, him and me cuddled together in the armchair, his hand wrapped around my waist as I am sat slightly on top of him, resting my head on his shoulder, Joe and Kate are sat together on the sofa and Rae is sat next to them, it feels so great that Kate and especially Joe are so cool about this, about my sexuality and well my boyfriend, I can see that it is a big thing to take on, especially since there had been no signs whatsoever, but they weren't bothered, I mean yeah they had questions and we both answered them but afterwards there was nothing, no treating us differently no nothing. I sigh happily and snuggle closer to my boyfriend, who turns his head slightly, pecks me on the lips for a moment and then turns his attention back to the movie.

"Where's Rich?" I ask after a little while as a commercial comes on and Kate and Rae head out to the kitchen to find us some snacks.

"With his girl probably," Joe shrugs, "He didn't come back with us last night." I nod my head for a moment and then look at John Paul.

"You don't think he's staying away because of us?" I ask Joe as I turn to look at him again, he bites his lip as he thinks about it, "I mean did he say anything last night, you know after I blew up in your faces and told you?"

"He didn't seem to be bothered about it," Joe tells me, "I mean you know his brother is gay, so I doubt he has problems with gay people, or…" he pauses for a minute, "Or eh whatever it is you are Craig." He smirks slightly and I hear John Paul giggle.

"Oi…" I turn to glare at my boyfriend who bites his lip and shakes his head.

"Sorry sweetheart, but it is kinda funny…" he chuckles as he looks over at Joe.

"Hmm suppose so," I look from John Paul to Joe and see them looking at each other for a moment and then both turn away to look at the tv, "Well I hope he turns up soon," I turn the conversation back to Rich, "I should tell him, or we should tell him properly, not leave it as it was yesterday."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon enough, he's got to change clothes at some point and get his books and assignments for school too," Joe shrugs and then smiles as his girlfriend returns to the room, carrying a tray laden with crisps, chocolate and the works with Rae trailing behind her with cups and a bottle of cola, and it isn't long till we're all settled back down to watch the remainder of the movie.

As the movie ends Joe and Kate bid us good night and head upstairs to their room, and it's not long after they're gone that Rae says good night too and heads up to her room, leaving us sat alone in the chair. I flip through the channels and drop the remote when I stumble across an episode of the Simpsons, but if you ask me what the episode was about I wouldn't be able to answer you since well we ended up making out in the chair, I was just minding my own business nuzzling the hairs on his neck when he turned his head slightly and kissed me on the lips, next thing I know is I'm being pushed down into the chair as I am sat on his lap and he's on top of me in a way, but it works and I'm not complaining especially not when his tongue delves into my mouth and begins exploring. I groan as he pulls back for air and can feel he is aroused, "I love you," I tell him before he kisses me again, harder this time and longer and I am sure my lips will be bruised in the morning, I can feel them prickling, but I don't care, he's kissing me and it's great.

I groan out loud and pull back from the kiss as his hand, which has made its way under my t-shirt pinches my nipple, playing with it until the peak is stiff, he knows my nipples are sensitive and get me going and he's using his knowledge to his advantage and I don't mind, hell he could probably talk me into being fucked in this chair right now if he wanted to, but luckily he doesn't, he just kisses me, peppering my face and neck with small wet kisses and then decides to mark my neck, making me whimper when he does so and then smothers the area soothingly with his finger as he inspects it proudly. "You're mine," he whispers as he touches the mark and I nod my head in agreement, because I am, I am his for as long as he'll have me.

"Let's go upstairs, then you can mark me even more, in other places, eh?" I suggest as I raise my eyebrows, and the next thing I know is, I'm being carried over his shoulder through the room, "Oi John Paul," I laugh making him stop for a moment, "Turn off the tv and the lights, will you," I chuckle as I grab a hold of his arse, and shamelessly grope it while he does what I ask of him, before carrying me up the stairs and into the room.

I'm flopped down on the bed and seconds later he's on top of me again, his lips on mine, kissing me to within an inch of my life while he grinds his groin onto mine, making our erections rub against each other. I for one can't take this, because I want to feel him, all of him, so I tear at his shirt, pulling at it as he kisses me until he gets what I want and pulls back to get up and get undressed and seconds later he's undressing me, then he's back on top of me again, repeating his earlier action as my hands roam freely over his naked body, landing on his arse cheeks, kneading them, cupping them, pulling him down on me.

I feel him taking our cocks in one hand and wanking us in unison as he continues to kiss me and as I come, I try to pull back to let out my groan of pleasure, but he holds me down and swallows my orgasm into his mouth, and when he comes, his juices mix with mine over our cocks, stomachs and his hand he growls his orgasm into my mouth. Finally he lets go of our cocks and I watch mesmerized as he brings his hand up to his mouth and licks it clean, swallowing our cum before dropping down next to and cuddling up to me as I wrap my arm around his waist letting my fingers play with his lower back.

"I love you John Paul," I tell him as he looks into my eyes and smiles.

"Love you too sweetheart," the butterflies in my stomach do summersaults as he tells me he loves me, it's good to hear, especially from him, from the man I thought I'd lost for good but hadn't. I continue to just look into his eyes and I feel the tears falling, tears of relief tears of sorrow, just tears that have everything to do with him.

"Hey what's wrong?" he asks me soothingly as he sees me crying, his hand cupping my face and brushing the tears away as I try to form the words to tell him.

"I lost you, I let you go and I nearly lost you for good… I don't know how I would've coped my entire life without you John Paul," I sob quietly and as he holds his arms open, I gladly snuggle into his embrace and let him comfort me.

"That's all in the past now Craig, but you never lost me, we just needed some time to figure out what we really wanted, and we know now so we're back to being us… Let's just say we were on a small break, but now it's over and our love for each other never faded, it just grew stronger during the break." He tells me as I sniffle into his chest, "The break served its purpose and we both know now what we really want, eh?"

"We do, and I'm never letting go again, never letting us go on a break again," I tell him, "Promise me you'll never leave me again, please?" I look up and into his eyes and I've never felt as vulnerable as I do at this moment, I need him to tell me he'll always be there for me, always be with me.

He looks into my eyes for a second, then brushes away the remained of my tears, before pressing a soft kiss to my lips and smiling that warm beautiful smile of his. "I promise sweetheart, I'll never ever leave you again, we'll be together for as long as you'll want me."

"Forever then?" I whisper as I rest my head down on his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.

"Forever and always," he replies with a kiss to my forehead, "I love you and want to be with you and that's how it will be, and once we finish school then we'll both be together all the time."

I nod my head and realize that he'll leave me soon, but it won't be a break of his promise because we'll still be together, just in different countries, "I wish you didn't have to go back," I tell him as I wrap my arm around his hip and draw him closer to me, "I want to be with you all the time."

"It has to be like this for a while sweetheart," he tells me, "But it's not forever, it's just temporary and then we'll be able to be together properly." I sigh as he speaks and close my eyes.

"Three years is too long," I mumble grumpily and he chuckles as he presses another kiss to my forehead.

"We'll spend as much time as we can together, then it'll seem much less, eh?"

"Suppose so,"

I feel him shuffle about a bit, kicking at the duvet and then it's pulled over us and he settles properly next to me, his arm holding me over my waist. "What time you supposed to be up tomorrow?" he wonders and I groan out loud as I remember I have to go to school for a couple of classes and have to be away from him, I turn in his hold, reaching for my phone and set the alarm, then turn off the lights before turning to face him again, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I don't want to go to school when you're here, waste of time, time I could spend with you." I add grumpily as I close my eyes once more, he chuckles and kisses me, and I relax, at least he's here now I keep thinking to myself, at least we're together and that's really better than not being with him at all. I drift off as he brushes his hand lovingly up and down my back feeling loved, feeling complete because of him, because he is here and because he really loves me.

**Hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment, review, make suggestion etc. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**John Paul  
**

I'm nervous as fuck, I'm meeting some of Craig's other mates, the ones who wanted to meet me when they saw us together yesterday and well I want his mates to like me, I know he isn't ashamed of me anymore cause he told them already that I'm his boyfriend, but it's still important to me that they like me since they are going to be going to school with him for the next couple of years and somewhere down the line some of them might be his business partners, and it's good to make a good first impression I think.

We're at this pub, Craig and I, waiting for them to arrive. They'd had a relatively short day at school, only two classes today, and Craig managed to go in and come back home before I'd even gotten out of bed. I'd woken up in the morning with him and had watched him as he got dressed, but he'd told me to just sleep and that he'd come home after school then we could spend time together before going out for these drinks and then the date he's set up for us.

It was a nice surprise to wake up with him naked in bed with me, when I did wake up and he'd gotten back from school. He was nibbling on my ear, having gotten impatient as he waited for me to wake up, said he'd been just looking at me for some hours and it just made me love him even more.

I let him fuck me too, I had forgotten how that felt, cause truth be told, despite us both doing both, we sort of had come to some agreement last summer where I'd make the love and he be the one that was made love to, but sometimes we did like to change it up at least for a bit, and it was great. I love it when he fucks me, I love it when he hits that spot inside of me, and most of all I love the look on his face when he comes deep inside of me, he just looks so happy, so at peace with himself, so smug too, that he can make me make such sounds, make me shudder and groan and moan, he loves it, I know he does and I love it too, love all of it. Just seeing that expression on his face today after so long, it just made me so happy, you know that pleasing me was pleasing him in such a way.

"We must be early," he tells me as we sit down at a table and wait for his mates, just four of them, he's told me their names but, I don't remember them, suppose they'll introduce themselves once they show up.

"Yeah, suppose so," I smile and look at my watch, "This is a nice place," I look around the pub, "Your local?" I wonder since I noticed the bartender knew his name and greeted him warmly, he just nods his head and smiles.

"Aha, you know, close to home and close to the nightlife here, so perfect place really," he smiles his reply and I nod my head.

"Well I like it, it's cozy, sort of like the Dog," I smile and he nods his head at this.

"Exactly, suppose that's why I like it that much, reminds me a bit of home," he sighs and then looks at me as I jump slightly, and then grins as I pull out my phone.

I'd gotten a message and accessing it I tell him who it's from, "Oh it's Hannah," I smile as I show him her message, she's just wondering if I'm okay since I hadn't been to our classes today. "I'll just call her really quick, before your mates show up, eh?"

"Yeah…" he smiles, then as I press call he takes the phone from me, "Let me, eh?" he winks and I let him, chuckling at this surprise that Hannah will get. I shuffle closer to him and he holds the phone so that we both can hear and speak if needed.

"John Paul, you're not sick are you?" were the first words out of her mouth as she replied to the call.

"No, John Paul isn't sick, in fact he looks rather gorgeous to be honest," Craig tells her and I blush at that.

"What? …. Craig?" I hear Hannah asking clearly confused.

"Yeah, hi Han… How are you?"

"Ehm… Fine…" she sounds so confused, that I can't stop myself from chuckling.

"Hi Han," I say finally letting her know that I'm here too.

"John Paul? … What's going on?"

"Oh nothing, I just went to Dublin to see Craig,"

"Oh…"

"And we're back together now, out in the open and all." Craig tells her.

"Oh… That's… Well that's great…" she says after a bit, undoubtedly letting the information sink in, "But.. eh… what about that guy you told me about John Paul?"

"Han, it's thanks to you that I'm here… After talking to you I sort of realized I had to see Craig, had to find out if we could get back what we had." I sigh as I look at Craig and then continue, "That guy I told you about, it was a mistake, a big mistake and I really should've stayed clear but I didn't… Promise you won't hate me Han?"

"John Paul I can't hate you, you know that… What is it?"

"The guy… It was Kieron."

"Kieron? … The Priest?"

"Aha?"

"John Paul!" She exclaims in shock and I look at Craig.

"Look I just think we should be honest with each other and I don't think I should keep it a secret from you and I'm sorry if you're shocked but you're my friend and I wanted you to know."

"Wow… You really have a thing for the guys you can't have," she says simply making Craig chuckle.

"Well he can have me as much as he wants now, I'm all his."

"Oh thanks for that image Craig," she says laughingly, "Okay so anyone else who knows about this Kieron thing?" She wonders and I tell her.

"Kieron told Kris and I've told you and Craig, that's about it."

"Okay well secret's safe with me John Paul, thanks for finally telling me… I was thinking he was some married man you know."

"In a way he is," I sigh.

"Suppose so, but he should've stopped things from happening, just as much as you, you know."

"That's what I told him," Craig says giving me a look that just said I told you so.

"Yeah thanks, to both of you." I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"But anyways the two of you are back together now?" Hannah wonders making us both smile.

"Yeah we are Han, and staying together this time too." I tell her making Craig smile even wider.

"I'm happy for you, both of you."

"Thanks Hannah," Craig tells her, "And I'm sorry for everything last year," he sighs "I never meant to hurt you or anyone, I just…" he sighs again, "I just fell in love."

"I know Craig, I don't blame you, or John Paul, it was my own fault, what I did to myself was my fault alone." She tells us earnestly, "I suppose I know why you weren't at school today then John Paul." She changes the subject and we both know that we shouldn't talk about her illness anymore.

"Yeah, well Dublin or Hollyoaks… You know tough choice there, but there's someone in Dublin that I love so…" I chuckle making Craig blush and push me playfully.

"Awww… How long you staying over there for?"

"A week or so, suppose I'll be back next Friday…"

"Sunday… Next Sunday… Friday is too soon, I'm not ready to say bye on Friday." Craig tells me as he looks at me making me smile as I nod my head in agreement.

"Sunday it is then… You mind taking down notes for me in the classes we have together?" I ask her and she tells me I can just borrow her notes and she'll make sure that someone from all my classes has notes that I can borrow.

"You two just have a good time over there and don't worry about school or anything John Paul."

"Thanks Han," I smile and then Craig nudges me nodding towards the door where his friends have just walked in. "Han we've gotta run now, but I'll talk to you when I get back, yeah?"

"Course, I want all the Dublin gossip," she laughs down the line and it warms my heart that her and me are at a place where we can be such good friends again.

"It was good talking to you again Hannah," Craig smiles as he says it and then waves his mates over to our table, "Take care and I'll hopefully come back soon so we can catch up too."

"That'll be nice, see ya Craig, bye John Paul."

"Bye Han," I say and then end the call just as Craig's friends come over to the table.

**John Paul  
**

All in all meeting Craig's mates was cool, they were really sweet and friendly and seemed to really be interested in what I had to say, all four of them told me they'd never thought for a minute that Craig was gay, I noticed that he didn't object to being called gay this time and made a mental note to ask him about it later.

The two girls, Sharon and Nadia were rather fun and I got on with them instantly, in a way they reminded me of Sarah and Hannah, before the entire mess with me falling in love with Craig and coming out and all that, it was just refreshing to talk to girls now and them knowing I wasn't interested in them, for anything other than friendship and in a way they were relaxed too because here they had a guy, or well two guys, who wouldn't be making a move on them all night, not understanding a no and all that usual stuff that goes on in the dating scene.

The two guys, Mark and Barry were cool too, though I always found it easier to bond with girls for some reason, but these two guys made it really easy to be around them which relaxed me and well it was a rather good way to spend a couple of hours with Craig's friends. We made some vague plans about a night out next week as we had to leave or we'd miss the reservations that Craig had made for our date.

As we left Craig told me a bit more about these four people, while three of them are Irish and from Dublin, Mark was from London originally, and the two of them got on really well, maybe cause of their nationality and all, Craig considered him to be one of his good mates here, and to me it was good to know that Craig hadn't been all alone in Dublin, that besides Rae he had Mark too.

"They seem really cool, and not at all bothered about us being together, you see most people could care less." I chuckle as I tell Craig and he nods his head thoughtfully.

"Yeah well I suppose I see many things clearly here in Dublin, but I was in no state to do that last year, you know that, don't you?"

"Yeah I know sweetheart, I wasn't having a go at you, I was just saying, you know."

He nods his head and smiles and then we just walk in silence, him gripping my hand every once and again, holding it for a bit then letting it go, which in a way is better than him holding it all the time, at least for now, I still don't get why it's weird for me, but I suppose I'll get over it at some point.

We arrived at the place of our date, a small rather romantic looking restaurant, and it was just wonderful, the entire thing. From the waitress that seated us to the food to everything, I've never felt this special in my entire life, Craig even put the napkin in my lap and wiped away some of the food that got stuck in the corner of my mouth, he'd really given this a lot of thought, despite only having a day to plan it in, but it was perfect, we were wined and dined and he made me feel so loved that I just love him for it, and the best part, the very best part about it all, Craig didn't once, not once, look around to see if anyone was watching us, he wasn't bothered about it at all, he even kissed me and got slightly frisky too, with his feet, luckily the waitress came over with our food then so he stopped.

He'd gone to a lot of effort to make this a special date for us, it was our first real one actually and he was so proud that he'd been the one to take me out on the first real date, it was more special that way, he said and I agreed, it was a big step for him and I couldn't have been any prouder of him for being able to do it, he wouldn't have been able to do this just 6 months ago, but he'd really come a long way since September.

I love seeing him like this, just happy, proud and well a bit full of himself, he's my Craig and it just suits him being all those things at the same time, I don't know if anyone else would've been able to pull it off, but he did. With dessert came a little surprise, he'd bought me a small gift, I felt bad cause I hadn't gotten him anything, but he told me that me being there with him in Dublin was more than enough for him, and as he said that my heart melted, how romantic was he, eh?

He'd gotten me a small brown leather wristband, matching the one he already wore, he thought it'd suit me, he told me and as he put it on my wrist, I couldn't do anything other than agree with him, because it did suit me, hell I'd have worn one of his bloody cardigans if he'd given me one of them, but this was, well understated, sort of more my type of thing, though I hardly ever wear anything on my wrist, besides my watch.

I had sighed happily and placed a soft kiss on his lips as a thanks for the present, making him smile proudly, and tell the couple at the table next to ours that I was his boyfriend and that he was lucky to have me, making me blush in the process but he wasn't fazed and repeated it to me as he gripped my hand, squeezing it gently.

After dessert, which was more for him than for me really, a big slice of chocolate cake, which I couldn't finish on my own, he ended up eating half of my portion on top of his own, though he didn't mind, it was chocolate after all, but after dessert he'd paid for everything and we ended up walking through the streets of Dublin, just chatting about this and that, sort of catching up, we'd agreed to not bring up our relationship, we'd sit and do that properly one of the other days, so we talked first about my family, what had gone on with them, how worried I was about Michaela and her usage of drugs and the social welfare fraud accusations that my mum was facing, and I told him about his family, since he knew I'd be perfectly honest with him about everything.

I told him about that day when I found Nancy crying, how we'd gone to the hospital together and how vile his mother and Jake had been, I told him about what Hannah had told me about Jake and Nancy too, how the girl had just changed, somehow let him control her until she had nothing left and I told him how disgustingly vile his mum had been to Nancy afterwards, again something Hannah had told me, but she'd heard it from Nancy so it was the truth. I could tell though that I was beginning to bum him out so I turned the conversation over to make it about Steph. About how happy she seemed now, how relaxed and how it just seemed Max had a calming effect on her now that they were together. She seemed more grown up, more ready to take on the role of a mother and a wife.

I could tell this made him happy, really happy, I know how much he loves Steph and how much she loves him, and it was clear to me that he missed her, so to just hear about her from someone else, it made his day, it was rather clear to me. Without realizing it we'd ended up back home, back at the house, Craig was a real gentleman, he kissed my cheek, thanking me for a good date and held the door open for me, asking if I wanted to have a drink when we went inside, but I told him I only wanted him, and he grinned sheepishly as he gripped my hand tightly, leading me up to the room.

We lay together afterwards, me stroking my hand through his hair, him sighing contentedly on my chest and it just felt like I'd come home, like this was where I was meant to be all along, like he was the one person I was meant to make love to for the rest of my life and I wanted that, wanted to be here with him for the rest of our lives. I kissed his hair and then just listened to his breathing, heard it change, heard him fall asleep, and then, and only then did I let myself close my eyes and succumb to slumber.

**Short one this time, next one will be a bit longer, I think. :P**

**Hope you enjoyed. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Once these two start talking, it's really difficult to shut them up. **

**Craig**

"I really hurt you last summer, didn't I?" I sigh as we settle down on the bed after having spent most of the morning having sex.

"Yeah, yeah you did," he tells me in all honesty and then looks away towards my desk.

"I'm sorry,"

"I know," he turns his head to look at me, "I know sweetheart."

"I know how this will sound, but… Well I didn't want to fall in love with you John Paul, I wanted to be normal, I finally had the life I wanted, I had a best mate, a perfect girlfriend, everything was going well… And then you spring that on me and…" I sigh and look at him, "I just wanted to be normal you know, wanted to have what everyone else always had, and then you were gay and in love with me and then you took it back, confusing me even more." I chuckle and shake my head, "I really thought everything was going for me and then you changed everything, I don't even know what happened but I… Seeing you with Spike, I just felt like a part of me was taken from me, which is silly because we'd only known each other for such a short amount of time, but it felt like he took you from me." I smile sadly, "Suppose in a way he did,"

He frowns at this, "How'd you mean?"

"He was your first," I shrug with a sad sigh, "The first one you had sex with," I shake my head, "I wish I'd gone round to yours some days before, when those thoughts first popped into my head, but… well me being me, I had to wait until the exam before going round yours, eh?"

"Is that why you hate Spike so much?"

I nod my head, "Of course, he took you from me, he took that from me, from us… It was something we should've experienced together for the first time, but…" I shrug once more and he nods his head sadly.

Gripping my hand tightly he looks into my eyes as he speaks, "Sweetheart, he might have been the first person I had sex with," I nod for him to continue, "But you are the only man I've ever, and will ever, make love to."

"Yeah?"

"Course, you're the only man I love, been in love with, so in a way my first time was with you," he shrugs slightly, "I cherish that day more than I do anything else."

"Even with all that I said?" I whisper shamefully but he just gives me a kiss on my cheek.

"Yup, even with all that you said."

"Why?"

"Cause I love you, you idiot." He chuckles.

"Oh," I look into his eyes and smile softly, "Thanks."

"So you still hate Spike then?"

"I think I always will hate him," I tell him and he nods his head. "I am sorry though, for everything that I did to hurt you last summer, I really thought, at the time anyways, that I was doing the right thing." I sigh as I apologize again, "I mean after we first slept together, it… As good as it was," he smiles and I carry on, "Well it freaked me out, cause that wasn't me, I wasn't gay, I wasn't supposed to be doing that, and not with you of all people."

"But you did," he chirps in, "And I'm glad you did."

"Yeah, me too, now… But back then, well you remember how I was the first time and afterwards, it was just easier to deny it had ever happened than to actually accept it for what it was, accept that I was falling in love with you, that I wanted you."

"I do understand Craig, I understand it all, I know it was hard for you to cope with things," he smiles, "You don't have to do this."

"I do John Paul, I have to, and I want you to hear me, cause well I need to say it and we never really talked about it before…" I sigh, "I don't think we should have any secrets in our relationship, I think we had enough of that last summer, eh?"

John Paul looks at me for a moment then nods his head for me to continue, seeing that I clearly need to get things off my chest.

"There are things I regret John Paul, I regret being such a coward and really hurting you when I took Sarah to Zante, I really hate myself for hurting you that way, I hate what I told you that time about you always opening the door when I came knocking, I really hate that I used you, that I did all that I could to make you believe that I would break up with Sarah and then not go through with it and just make excuse after excuse after excuse to keep you happy."

I shake my head at myself and my actions, "I'm so so so sorry for what I said that day when it all came out, so sorry for being so angry with you and telling you, you were only my dirty secret, cause you're not, you never would have been, had I been ready for a proper relationship with you, I'd have screamed it from the bloody roof tops, cause you loved me unconditionally, you were always there for me, never for a moment did you not, not love me, no matter what I did to you, you always loved me and I've never had that before… Never had a person love me like that, care for me like that, want me, flaws and all, and just be there for me, you cared for me, you're the only one who's ever done that to me properly, and I loved that, I love that and knowing that you still love me despite everything, despite all my flaws… I… God John Paul, I don't know what I've ever done to deserve having you come into my life." By now the tears are running freely down my cheeks, he's brushing them away and pressing soft kisses to my forehead.

"Sweetheart, I'll always love you, you were the first person I fell in love with, my heart will always be yours, always…"

"I really wish that I had been stronger last year John Paul, I wish I could've been what you wanted me to be, that I could've told everyone about us, but… It just meant so much to have the acceptance of my mother and Jake and well you saw how they were with me, it really hurt, it hurt so much that they were like that with me… Losing our mates I could cope with cause I had you, but losing mum and Jake… I'm ashamed, really ashamed that it meant more to me than being with you did… But not anymore…" I look him directly in the eyes, "I promise John Paul, you'll never be second best in my life again, ever… You're my main priority now, then school, then Steph and Debbie and then mum… Cause even if she'll not accept this now, I won't care… I know what's important now, I've lived life without you and…" I shake my head, "Never again John Paul, never again. I can't be without you, I can't live my life without you by my side."

"Craig and John Paul, against the world?"

"Dean and McQueen against the world," I smile and press a soft kiss to his lips, "Always and forever."

He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him, holding me to his chest, and I let him, I let him envelope me, I let him love me and I relax into his hold.

"You do understand why I left you at the airport, don't you?" he asks me after a while and I simply nod into his chest.

"Yeah I do, and as much as it hurt at the time, I think you did the right thing, I wasn't ready, however much I did love you and wanted to be with you, and I did love you and I wanted to be with you." I stress as I lift my head and look into his eyes, "I really did, but I wasn't ready, I had to process everything and I had to do it on my own and however much it hurt me, and you, I think we both needed it, granted mostly me, and I did think about you and us, while I was here, I pined for you so much, it really hurt not having you with me, being here all alone, but it made me realize that you were who I was meant to be with, I just had to be ready."

"And you are now," he smiles and kisses my cheek as I nod my head.

"Yeah, I am now, and I wouldn't want to change it for the world… You and me John Paul, we're meant to be together, I know it sounds a bit corny and all, but I really think we're made for each other."

"It doesn't sound corny, I think it sounds wonderful… Craig just to hear those words coming from your mouth, you know how happy that makes me, eh? You, you who were so afraid of being seen with me, that you are saying these things now, it just… You don't even know what that means to me sweetheart."

"I know I love you and I know I want to show people that we're together, it's just… It's different here in Dublin, here people don't have all the preconceived notions about me, I could start afresh here, you know just live my life properly and… Well you know I tried the "normal" routine and it just wasn't for me and the gay scene isn't for me either… It's just you and I want you so much… I'm actually afraid that I won't ever be able to let you go once you have to go back home."

"Shhh, let's not think about that now, eh?" He smiles at me, "Thank you for telling me all this sweetheart, I think in a way I understand some things more now, they make more sense now, and it's good to put it all behind us now… It's a fresh beginning for us now, a proper one, with no more lies, no more secrets, no more shame and no more fear."

"Just love."

"Only love and devotion."

"Hmm, sounds good to me," I kiss him on the lips and smile, before resting my head down on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"That's what we're about from now on, cause no one will ever love you as much as I do and once we're done with school I'll do my best to show you every single day."

"No one will ever love you as much as I love you either John Paul, no one, you're mine and mine alone." I go all possessive on him, but he is mine and all others better stay well clear of him.

"I am, always Craig, always." He tells me making me smile and kiss his chest.

**John Paul**

He had to get some things off his chest, I could tell and I let him and I'm glad I did, I understand so much better now all his behavior from last year, he was petrified, I think that's the right word, yeah petrified of what his mother and brother would think of him, somehow that had become more important to him than what he himself felt and well knowing his mother and brother, no wonder he was bricking it.

Despite all the hurt we caused last year, despite it all, I know he loved me, I always knew, I could tell, but the fear, well it does make you do strange things, and with him it was that stupid engagement, but it's in the past now, we've both made mistakes we regret, but that's part of growing up and we're together now and it's wonderful, simply amazing and nothing can ever compare to having Craig Dean as your boyfriend and best mate, nothing at all.

Him hating Spike, I never understood why before, but I do now, and it really warms my heart and makes me wish I'd waited those couple of days, waited for my first time to be with Craig, but what I told him is true, with Spike and the others it had just been sex, it was just sex, with Craig it was so much more, it was love, it was beautiful and tender and just perfect, it felt right, more right than with Spike, or the others I slept with after Craig left, it never felt the same, it was good yeah, but never perfect, never like with Craig.

The little darling fell asleep some time ago, and now I'm sat in the living room of the house watching TV, all the others are out, Craig and I had decided to just stay in today until his shift at the club he works at starts, and that's not until hours from now, he needs his rest and as much as I like to look at him as he sleeps, I had gotten hungry, so I'd popped down to the kitchen, made us some dinner for later and then decided against going upstairs again, knowing I'd just end up waking him, and also knowing he was to stay at work until the early hours of Sunday so I thought it best to let him rest for as long as possible.

There's nothing worth watching on TV though, so I just flick through the channels and end up turning the damned thing off. Sighing to myself I get my phone out and turn it on, almost instantly I'm bombarded with texts, most of them from Jacqui, and all of them asking if I'm sure about this getting back together with Craig thing. I chuckle to myself and think about how much I love my sister, then decide I'd better call her, the phone rings about two times before she picks up.

"Hey Jacq,"

"John Paul you alright sweetheart?" she asks me.

"Yeah wonderful,"

"Really?"

"Yeah Jacq,"

"So he's not…" she pauses for a moment, "… You know not ashamed not hiding away or anything?"

"Nope, out in the open," I chuckle, "I'm actually telling him to tone it down a bit, he's really changed Jacq, like…" thinking for a moment, I continue, "I've… Well it's the same Craig obviously, cheeky and moody and sexy and all that I fell for, but that thing that was holding him back, that deep rooted fear, it's gone… Frankie and Jake's approval isn't important to him anymore…" I actually laugh as I recall the phone call he had with Frankie the other night, "God Jacq, you should've heard him when he called Frankie and told her…"

Jacqui can hear my amusement and I can tell she's smiling, I can almost picture her as she's sat with a raised eyebrow and a smile on her lips, "What did he tell her?"

"Well I gave him some privacy to begin with, but when I got in the room, I just lay down next to him on the bed as he talked, and he told her that he was in bed with me, sort of made it sound as though we had just had sex, he told me he'd told her off, for not listening to him, told her to pay attention for once and then hung up on her… Jacq, I actually think he'd pick me over his family, or not think, I know.. He's told me I'm his main priority now…" I sigh happily, "We talked earlier today, he apologized for everything that happened last summer and he explained, he told me why he did what he did and it makes sense, I can understand it now, before I didn't really care, cause at least I had him, even for that short amount of time I had him and it made me so happy, but now… Well I know now that I have him and it's permanent, I'm not leaving him and he won't let me let him go again."

"You are sure about this John Paul?" She asks in her typical big sister way which just warms my heart.

"Absolutely Jacq, I love him and he loves me… I don't know how I'm supposed to get on with school and being away from him once I get back home."

"If it's meant to be John Paul, then you two will make it work,"

"Yeah, I know… But it's going to be hard… I don't really want to think about it, I've got an entire week left here with Craig and I'm gonna enjoy it to the fullest."

"Sounds good sweetheart," She pauses for a moment before continuing, "How come you went to Dublin out of the blue?"

"Oh… Eh…" I stutter for a moment trying to make up a lie, "Cause I sort of realized I had to be with him, and had to find out if he still wanted me."

"Aha… Right.." Shit, she doesn't believe me, "Now the real story?"

"That is the real story Jacq,"

"John Paul, you're a terrible liar, the worst out of us lot and you know it, I can tell through the phone that you're lying so come on spit it out…" I sigh and roll my eyes at this.

"It's not a lie… Not all of it…" I tell her, "The part about realizing I had to be with Craig is true, but I came here for another reason, well sort of also to get back together with Craig, but only after I'd talked to him, after I'd told him about something stupid that I did… Lucky for me he still wanted me, even after hearing what I've done."

"John Paul, you're not on the run or something, are you?" She sounds worried and I chuckle at that as I shake my head.

"No, nothing like that Jacq, you know I'm not into criminal activities," she clears her throat at that and I just chuckle again, "Look, if I tell you… You have to promise me, and I mean this Jacq, promise me you won't tell mum or the girls or anyone."

"Alright, I promise."

"Jacqui, I'm serious, not a word to anyone."

"I promise John Paul."

"Okay… I… This thing…" I sigh and shake my head, "Ehm… I slept with someone that I shouldn't have slept with." I shake my head again, "And after sleeping with him, I knew that I wanted to be with Craig, that I loved Craig, so I talked to Hannah that same night and realized that I had to see Craig, but I didn't know if he'd want to see me and then the guy I slept with, we had words, and I were really nasty towards him…"

"John Paul, who'd you sleep with?"

"Promise you won't hate me?"

"You're my brother; of course I won't hate you."

"Kieron… I slept with him…"

"You what?"

"It wasn't just some random thing, we've been fighting it for months and then it just happened the other day and I really really regret it now, cause I don't want him, don't love him and he broke his vows and it's just a bloody mess Jacq, but it made me realize that Craig is who I am supposed to be with."

"But he's straight…"

"No he isn't he's gay, he told me."

"John Paul this is unbelievable," I can tell she's shocked and it takes a lot to shock her.

"You hate me, don't you?"

"No of course not, sweetheart I can't hate you, I love you." She tells me quickly, "It's just… shocking, he's a flaming Priest."

"I know."

"Is that why he moved out?"

"Yeah."

This was followed by some silence, I could tell she was thinking things through and I just let her as I began to play with the buttons of the shirt I'd borrowed from Craig. "This is unbelievable John Paul," she finally says after what seems like ages, "I'm sort of speechless over here, and you know how my gob is."

"Yeah well I was pretty stunned when he told me he was gay you know," I tell her, "I mean I told him to tell mum, cause honestly I didn't think he should keep it a secret from her, but he told me off and threatened to leave, I didn't want that did I? I mean finally I had another bloke there in that house with all you lot," I sigh before continuing, "As much as I love you girls, I really do need to have a guy there, you know just to have someone to talk to about male things."

"I know sweetheart," and she did know, cause usually I'd complain to her about being the only guy in the house, in the family, being the only one not to have anyone to talk to properly, I know I have her and it's the next best thing to having a guy around, but when Russ lived with us I sort of felt like I had that other male person, and even Dom for the short while him and Tina lived with us, it was nice to not be the only man with all the women.

"We did keep it to just being friends you know, but then it just changed one day, and as much as I wanted it, as much as we both wanted it, I couldn't let him break his vows, cause well I saw him doing his job with Charlie at the hospital and I knew I could never compete with it."

"But you still slept together?"

"Yeah, well we didn't just jump in the sack Jacq, I sort of just ignored him afterwards, you know kept it to the friendly banter and just stayed clear of him, but after the charity run the other day, we just stopped fighting it and… I won't lie it was good, I felt something again for the first time after Craig, but… Well it wasn't the same, it was just sex, I literally woke up afterwards and thought about Craig, how it would have been if it had been him in my bed, and after talking to Hannah I realized that my heart still belongs to Craig." I smile as I close my eyes and picture Craig in bed after we've made love, the way his eyes lock with mine, the joy in his eyes, the smile on his lips, just him.

"So you went to see him?"

"Not at first no, I sort of talked myself out of it a couple of times, and then after having had words with Kieron, him leaving, I just felt like I had to talk to someone, someone who wasn't in the village and Craig was the first person I thought of, cause before all of this between us happened, he was my best mate, and despite it all, I still hoped I had my best mate in Dublin, so I booked a flight and came here."

"Suppose he's still your best mate then," she said knowingly making me laugh.

"Yeah, yeah he is… He opened the door and he was on the phone, then he saw me and dropped it, as it fell my phone began ringing, so I take it out and a second later it's on the floor next to Craig's… He was calling me Jacq, at that moment he was calling me, it was just… Turns out he was going to come back for me soon, take me back to Dublin with him, show me he was ready to be with me." I pause for a moment and recall what we were talking about before I went off on a little ramble, "But yeah I sort of told him I'd done something stupid and had to talk to my best mate, and if I still had one in him, which I did… So I told him, cause I did feel guilty you know, like it was all my fault, but he just told me it wasn't that Kieron was the one who should've stopped things, he was the one who'd made the vows and he is right, I mean granted I should've stopped it too, but I'm only human and he's, well he's married to God and all."

"Wait, Kieron blamed you?"

"In a way yeah, cause I told him, I told him I couldn't face being the outcast in the village again, not after all with Craig, and that I had realized that I didn't love him, and he just, in a way, threw it in my face, asking why I hadn't realized before he broke his vow, asked if I was just using him for my own pleasure." I sigh and hear her growl, "Jacq, just don't, don't do whatever it is you're thinking of doing, it's sorted, I told him off, and again the next day, then I called him from here and he was telling me how he'd quit being a Priest to be with me, but it could never happen, I told him that and said that I was here with Craig, and that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore."

"He's got some nerve, beds you and then blames you for having those feelings for you." Jacqui isn't impressed and I know, I just know she'll end up saying something to him.

"Jacqui, just leave it, leave him be, I've said my peace to him and I'm happy with Craig now, I don't care about him, and neither should you."

Jacqui goes quiet for a moment and I fear the worst, cause she's a loose cannon at times, "Alright, I won't say anything… Yet." I sigh as she continues, "But if he bothers you or anything when you get back, then I won't hold my tongue, I'll tell him off properly."

"Alright Jacq, but for me, and for mum, please just stay clear of him now, cause this will kill her, a Priest… A flaming Priest Jacq."

"Alright, this is just between you and me then."

"Thanks Jacqui."

"So how's lover boy then?" she grins down the line making me chuckle.

"Yeah he's alright, just sleeping now, he's got a long shift at the club later tonight, so I'm just letting him sleep for as long as possible."

"Are you really happy John Paul?"

I smile at this, "Happy doesn't even begin to describe it Jacq, the change in him, it's… It's just amazing, he's still the same Craig, like I said, but he's… it's as if he's proud of me, proud of being with me, I can tell that he wants me, wants to be with me and isn't afraid to show it, to tell others, anything really. He just makes me feel alive again, all this time away from him I've just been going through the motions, getting through every single day the best that I can, but now… Well now I have a reason to be happy, to enjoy life, I have something to look forward to now, even if it's just a phone call or a text, or an email or a message on facebook, he's given me a reason to live properly again, he's given himself to me, fully, completely and I know I can trust him to not break my heart this time round, he loves me Jacq, he loves me and I love him."

"That's good John Paul, but you tell him, if he messes up even once, then I'll have his balls for breakfast."

I chuckle at this, that is so typical of her, to look out for all of us, no matter what has happened, "I'll tell him Jacq, but I don't think I have to worry about anything from now on, we're talking, really taking about things, taking it slow, building a relationship this time round, neither one of us has been happy these past months, but now we both have a reason to be happy and we won't mess up, he won't let it happen and neither will I."

"Good, you deserve to be happy sweetheart and as long as he keeps you that way then I have no problems with him."

"Thanks Jacq," I feel myself blushing from her words, but I know she means them, I know she loves me and only wants the best for me.

"Look I've gotta go, have to go shopping with Teen, but we'll talk once you get back, yeah?"

"Yeah sure Jacq, and thanks… Give my love to everyone, yeah?"

"I will sweetheart, bye." She ends the call and I sigh happily before dropping the phone down on the table and grabbing a book Craig had been reading the other day, it was still fairly early and I didn't want to wake him up yet.

**John Paul**

I look up from the book as the door opens and slams shut some two hours later, and moments later Rae comes through to the living room, greets me with a smile and drops down on the sofa letting out a sigh. "You alright?" I wonder, she nods her head and smiles tiredly.

"Suppose so, just this entire shopping thing with my mates, it's tiresome and leaves me not wanting to see them for months afterwards." She shrugs as she looks at me making me chuckle.

"Yeah I know, but, I couldn't not see my sisters after a day of shopping with them, at least you can get away, I was stuck… And then they'd start fighting over who had gotten what and…" I shake my head, "As soon as I was old enough to go out on my own, I ended up doing that, and found an excuse for not going out to shop with them too, left them to it, made my life much easier."

"Hmm yeah I suppose I can do that with my mates sometimes, but it's not all bad, I mean it's only when they get into the entire trying 100 outfits on and not buying any mode that I can flip out, cause I go in, I try something on, I like it, I buy it, with them, even if they like it they end up discussing for 10 minutes and then not buy it anyways." She sighs and shakes her head, "But anyways, don't want to talk or think about it anymore, and besides you're not here to listen to me moan about my mates," she smiles warmly before continuing, "Where's Craig?"

"Sleeping, and I don't mind listening to you, I'm rather good at listening to people," I tell her with a smile of my own as I lay down the book on the table.

She smiles and nods her head, "I'll keep that in mind for another time, yeah?" I simply nod my head in reply, signaling my agreement. "Have you two done anything today?"

I raise my eyebrow questioningly and chuckle as she blushes, "Yeah we did plenty, and we talked loads too, kinda worked through the kinks, you know I just let him tell me all about how he felt last year, what was going on in his head and I understand things much better now, I see why he acted like he did, did the things that he did…" I sigh, "I always thought he was just playing me in a way, you know using me, but that wasn't the case, he was really scared, or rather petrified of the reaction he'd get if he came out and said he loved a bloke and well… He did get that horrible reaction, and from his own mother and brother on top of it," shaking my head I continue, "But yeah we've talked and I know everything now, and I think I love him that bit more for telling me, for explaining, cause he couldn't do that before, not properly anyways."

"I'm glad, I think he needed to tell you, and he needed you to listen to him. It's just so lovely to see the two of you together, I've never seen him this happy before, beats the hell out of watching that depressed looking guy dragging himself through the day with barely a smile on his lips."

I shake my head as she speaks, I don't really want to hear that Craig had been that down, I wanted him to move on, to live his life and be happy, cause despite it all I loved him and wanted him to be happy, but I realize now that he was miserable because he wasn't with me, because he couldn't let go, and I was exactly the same back in Hollyoaks, though I tried to push it to the back of my mind, and for the most part I did a good job, I fooled everyone into believing that I was over him, everyone but myself that is.

"He's different now," I tell Rae, "Deep down it's still Craig, that insecure guy that I fell in love with, but I've seen the changes, the way he just grabs my hand and holds it when we walk down the street, or just kissing me out there and not looking around to see if anyone is watching, just really not being bothered about being in a relationship with a bloke." I smile now as I say this, "It's all I ever wanted, I just wanted him to be okay with being in a relationship with me, I wanted him to go out with me and show me that he was proud of being with me and he's done so much more already, I know I'm meant to be with him, he is it for me." I state simply, "He's the one for me and I know he feels the same about me…. I love him…. I just really love him with all of my heart."

"And he loves you with all of his," Rae says as she smiles widely making me smile too, cause I know this, but it's so good to hear from someone else, someone who also knows Craig, and has seen him in all the time that we've been apart.

"Thank you again, for being here for him when he needed a friend, for not giving up on him when he was shutting everyone out." I tell her in all seriousness as I look at her, "I know how he is when he sets his mind on something and I know how difficult it is to get through to him, but you did and you care for him and I'll always be thankful for that."

"It was nothing John Paul, he just looked like he might need someone to talk to, and well I had the time to be there for him."

"It means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to him too, he'll never flat out say it, but he really appreciates it." I smile and she nods at this and we don't say much else afterwards, I pick up the remote and hand it to her as I offer to make us some tea, which she gladly accepts, "There's some food too, I made some for when he wakes up, but there's plenty."

"No thanks, ate with my mates you see," she tells me and I nod, before going out to the kitchen to make us some tea.

I return with two mugs of tea some five minutes later and find Rae watching some movie, I hand her the mug and sit down next to her, we watch this, incredibly corny movie and I keep thinking I'd rather have nails put through my eyes than ever watch this shit again, I'm almost thankful when the front door opens and closes again. We both look at each other, but no one comes into the room, we know that there's only the three of us in the house, us two sat here and Craig up in the room, Rae shrugs and then after a moment calls out to whoever that we're sat in here.

It takes another moment for the person in question, Rich, to show his face, he sort of stumbles in through the door and then after giving me some sort of funny look, drops down next to Rae on the sofa. "You alright Rich?" Rae asks him after this awkward silence descends over us, he just shrugs and looks around the room, then shoots me a weird look before speaking.

"Where's Craig?" he asks and I look from him to Rae, wondering if he was asking me or her, I can tell she's just as confused as I am, but she answers him.

"He's sleeping, got work later, so John Paul is letting him rest as much as possible," Again his eyes are on me, and the way he looks at me, it's starting to annoy me if I am being perfectly honest.

"Right suppose that makes sense, just wanted to talk to him about school," he shrugs, then gets up, and leaves the room, we hear him go up the stairs and then a door is closed.

"That was weird," Rae looks at me as I nod my head, "I've never seen him like that before,"

"Don't think he likes me that much," I shrug and get up, "Gonna go lie down for a bit," I smile as she nods her head, "You coming out with us later?"

"Dunno, I'll see by night time, yeah?"

"Cool," I pick up my phone and leave her in the room as I head up the stairs, all the way to the top of the house and let myself into Craig's room, I quickly undress and climb under the sheets with him, kissing his face gently, then wrapping my arm around his waist as I pull him closer to me.

With my free hand I set the alarm for three hours before he has to be at work, I figure that's enough time for him to shower, eat and get ready for work. I kiss him again as I close my eyes and just before I drift off to sleep, I feel him shuffle closer to me in his sleep.

**I think that is it for today. ****Maybe another chapter, or a couple of them, will pop up tomorrow :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**This is a bit long, but for those who were wondering what Rich's problem with JP is... Well you'll find out here. **

**Craig**

That blasted alarm woke me up, I nearly threw the phone against the wall, but he stopped me, took it from me and turned off the alarm, then stroking my hair he let me rest my head on his chest as I woke up completely. Looking into his blue eyes as I lift my head, I feel at peace with myself and I know it's because of him, "Hi boyfriend," I giggle as I say it but he is, he is my boyfriend and I love it, I love that it doesn't bother me anymore.

"Hi sweetheart," I love when he calls me sweetheart, I'm his sweetheart, I grin sheepishly as he presses a soft kiss to my lips. I gaze at him as he pulls back and think to myself that I am really lucky to have him back in my life again. He brushes away the hair from my forehead and then proceeds to kiss me gently on my lips. He starts to pull back, but I want more, so I follow his lips, not letting him end the kiss, instead I deepen it, I want to taste him, feel him in my mouth and luckily for me he follows my drift and gives me what I want.

It's not long till he's on top of me as he's kissing me and grinding his hips onto mine, making our cocks rub together, until they are both hard. Pulling back I look into his eyes as I try to catch my breath, "Inside me John Paul," I say and then kiss him again, and he does what I've asked of him, I feel his hands make their way down our bodies and I feel him pull down my boxers, he breaks our kiss for a brief moment to take my boxers off me completely, followed by his own, and then he's back on top of me, back to kissing me and rubbing against me.

I grab his arse in my hands and squeeze it, knead it, push him down against me, until I feel like I'm about to burst from the friction that our rubbing cocks have made, then he gets up on his knees, hoists my legs up in the air and starts probing me with his saliva coated fingers. He penetrates me and swirls one then two and then three fingers inside of me, making me scream out his name when said fingers connect with my prostate, he keeps brushing over my sensitive gland, and when I'm ready to burst, when I feel like I can cum any second now, he suddenly just stops and extracts his fingers, making me whimper.

He's smiling though, and spitting onto his palm, he coats his cock, and he's pushing into me and he's inside of me making me moan. It doesn't take us long to find a rhythm we're both comfortable with and he's kissing me again as he fucks me, his cock brushing against my prostate repeatedly, making me see stars before my eyes. "Harder John Paul, fuck me harder," I scream as he hits my perfect spot again and again, and he obliges, picking up the pace and then devouring my mouth once more with his lips. I can feel I am close to climaxing. Reaching my hand in between our sweating bodies I begin to wank myself furiously, it doesn't take long before I come, my seed splattering out of me in rapid bursts, covering both our stomachs and my hand. My arse clenches around the cock inside of me as my orgasm hits me and then I hear him grunt, call out my name and I feel him, I feel him shooting his load into my willing body, I can feel him fill me up and I press him down towards me, recapture his mouth and just kiss him for what feels like ages.

Eventually he slips his deflated cock out of me and lies on his side just looking into my eyes for a while, "I love you so much sweetheart, I don't think I can ever be without you in my life again," he tells me, "Please don't ever hurt me again," he asks of me and I can see it in his eyes, he is the most vulnerable I have ever seen him be at this moment, and I can tell, that if I do hurt him again, then I will destroy him completely.

"I swear John Paul, never again, I love you too much to not be with you, to not have you in my life." I tell him as I stroke my hand through his hair, "You are my life John Paul, and as soon as we finish school then we'll never be apart again, ever." I press a soft kiss to his lips, then look into his eyes, trying to show him how devoted I am to this, to us, to show him that I want him and only him from now on.

"Never apart again," he smiles after having looked into my eyes for a couple of minutes, "I like the sound of that."

"Me too," I smile warmly and then grin sheepishly as my stomach lets out a growl.

"I've made us some food," he tells me laughingly as he looks down at and then pats my stomach with his hand, "Let's go get showered and then eat, eh?" he brushes his thumb over my cheek, making me sigh happily and nod my head.

So that's what we do, we get out of bed, collect our clothes and robes, then head for the bathroom, where he watches me shaving, then does so himself with me watching and then we shower together, laughing and joking about and kissing for a bit too, as we finish the shower he dries me off and I return the favor, before we both get dressed. He makes a quick dash up to the room with our dirty clothes and towels, then grips my hand as he comes down, together we walk down to the kitchen to eat the meal he's prepared for us.

Rich comes down just as we finish the stew John Paul had made for us, I notice that he looks rather weirdly at John Paul before smiling at me, "You alright?" I wonder and he just nods his head, then frowns as John Paul comes over with my cup of tea and nuzzles my neck.

"Yeah fine… You?" He asks and I can tell he just wishes John Paul wasn't in the room, I don't know what's with him though, cause I know he doesn't have problems with gay people, but I don't have much time to talk to him now, due to the bedroom activity and the time spent in the shower, I have less than an hour to get ready and head for work.

"I'm great, got the love of my life back in my life, so can't complain," I tell Rich as I get up and wrap my arms around John Paul's waist, pulling him close and pressing a wet sloppy kiss on his lips, just as I pull back I notice the look of distaste on Rich's face and frown at that, "Look I know this is weird for you, me being into a bloke all of a sudden, and I suppose we should tell you the whole story, just like we did with the others, but another day though yeah? I'm sort of going to be late, if I don't get a move on, right now."

He nods his head slowly as I grip John Paul's hand and walk us out of the kitchen, up the stairs to the room, where we begin to get dressed.

"I don't think Rich likes me," John Paul tells me as he sits down on the bed, having finished getting dressed and just watches me as I button up my shirt.

"Don't be daft, why would anyone not like you, you're gorgeous, funny, sexy, and just the best mate anyone could ever ask for… Oh and you're good in bed too." I chuckle as I add the last part and enjoy the blush that spreads across his cheeks.

"Just a feeling I've got is all," John Paul shrugs, "Earlier, when he got home, I was downstairs with Rae and he kept sending me these weird looks, wasn't really friendly towards me… Which I suppose I get, cause this is big, for all he knew you were this weirdo straight guy, and now you're… With me." He shrugs slightly making me chuckle.

"Look we'll talk to him later and tell him everything and I'm sure he'll be fine,"

"If you say so sweetheart," he sighs as I sit down next to him and put on my shoes. "Oh I asked Rae to come down to the club with us, we'll just have to stop by her room and see if she'll come or not, yeah?" he tells me making me smile and nod my head, I love that he gets on with her, she's the most important person to me here and he's the most important person to me in my life so that they get on is crucial to me.

Having finished getting dressed I grip his hand and we walk down, stopping at Rae's door, he knocks and she opens with a smile, telling us she'll be right out, just needs to put on her shoes, we both do the wolf whistle thing at her once she comes down the stairs, cause she looks stunning and it makes her blush, but she does look stunning and we tell her as much.

**Craig**

We left for the club, just chatting and having a good time as we walked along, and once we got in, past the bouncer, I led them both to the staff room, where we deposited our jackets and then went back out to the bar area, it was still fairly early and the club wouldn't be open for another couple of hours, but I had to get in early and stock up the fridge and all that.

"Craig?" I look behind me and see Ben, the owner coming over, he shakes my hand in greeting then looks over at Rae greeting her and then he looks at John Paul holding out his hand to this new person he's never seen before.

"John Paul, Ben and Ben, this is John Paul," I smile as they shake hands, "Oh eh hope you don't mind me bringing Rae and my boyfriend with me," I say and he doesn't even react just looks at me and chuckles.

"Have I ever minded when you've brought Rae with you hours before we open?" I shake my head and he continues, "So why should I mind if you bring her and your boyfriend in early?" I grin sheepishly and shrug.

"Dunno, you could maybe mind, and then I'd rather be on the safe side and just ask," I explain making him laugh and shake his head, telling me it's fine, as long as I do my job he doesn't mind.

"I'll just have to go make some phone calls, the bloody DJ called in sick, you know the one we booked for tonight, since Ant is off on holiday," he sighs at this, "He was in this morning, set everything up and all, and now he calls in sick, reckons he's got food poisoning."

I instantly look at John Paul and as he locks eyes with me he frowns then slowly nods when he realizes what I'm thinking, "Er… Ben, hold off on calling anyone, John Paul's a DJ." I tell him and his eyes instantly go to John Paul.

"Really?"

"Yeah really, best one in Chester he is," I say and can tell how John Paul begins to blush at this.

"Would you mind?" Ben asks John Paul who just shrugs and looks at me, I smile and nod for him to go and do his thing.

"No suppose not, so I'll just play the set that's been set up or?"

"Hmm yeah suppose so, unless you can make something up yourself," Ben tells him as he grabs his arm and leads him to the decks.

"Oh we're in for a treat now," I tell Rae, "He's bloody amazing behind the decks," I sigh happily, then press a kiss to her cheek and go behind the bar to do my job, I serve her a drink on me as she sits on one of the stools and then go about my work.

Minutes later the music starts up and looking up I see John Paul with the headphones on, testing out the set list I'm thinking, I can see him and Ben talking and Ben just nods to him and leaves him after another couple of minutes. He comes over to us and looks back to John Paul, "He's gonna do some alterations to the set list, some songs he thinks will be better than others, but otherwise he won't change much, doesn't think there's enough time for it, and I suppose he's right."

"Yeah, he's a perfectionist with his music," I smile as I put some bottles inside the fridge beneath the bar.

"Well he's a lifesaver; both you and your boyfriend are lifesavers." Ben smiles, "He doesn't live here permanently does he?" he wonders and I raise my eyebrow at this, "Only if he were, and if this night goes well I think I'd like to hire him on a permanent basis," I chuckle at this and as he looks at me I shake my head.

"No he doesn't live here, just out visiting me he'll go back next week," I sigh, "He's got school and work back home so he can't stay." I look away as I say this, because I really want him to stay with me for good, but I know I can never ask him, because that would be selfish, I can't take him away from his family, from his friends, from his life, but we'll be together once I go back to England.

"That's a pity, he seems like a really nice bloke and has a good sense of humor too, judging from the small conversation we had…" he pauses for a moment then continues, "Well if it goes well tonight and he ever wishes to move here permanently then the offer will stand." He nods to himself more than anything then excuses himself to go back to his office and do some work.

"How about that eh?" Rae asks me making me nod my head and smile.

"Yeah, I know…" I look at her, "But I can never ask him to stay here, I can't take him away from his life there to move here, what if… What if I fuck it up again, eh?"

"You can't think like that, he loves you, and you love him, where's the harm in asking him?" she tells me and I nod my head slowly, "The worst thing that'll happen is he says no cause he has his school to finish, but even then you'll be prepared for that cause you know he has his school…"

"I suppose," I sigh and she carries on.

"Best case scenario is that he agrees and comes to live with you here," I look at her again and she continues, "But either way, no matter what, Craig, you love him and he loves you, so where's the harm in just asking, eh?"

"You really think so?"

"It's just a question and you already know that he might say no, so it won't exactly come as a surprise if he does… But Craig, what if he says yes?" She tells me again, as she grips my hand, giving it a squeeze, I smile and nod my head.

"Yeah… I'll ask him, and if he says no then it's not the end of the world, cause we'll still be together, eh?"

"Exactly, don't stress about it," she smiles, "Now go on, get done with your work, I'll just sit here drinking this," she holds up her bottle of lager as I do what she told me, and go on with my work.

**John Paul**

I'm absolutely loving the crowd in this club, alright so the set list isn't mine, but I tweaked it slightly and I have them all where I want them, it's going amazing and they are all into it, all the heads bopping and arms raised, it's such a thrill, I hadn't exactly planned on doing this when going out with Craig and Rae tonight, but they seemed in a jam at the club and Craig, well I can hardly ever say no to him and those eyes of his, and I'm glad I did this, Ben told me we'd talk salary later, even if it's for this night, but seems the wages are higher here than back home, or maybe it's just this club, or maybe Warren just doesn't pay me enough. But yeah later with all that, I'm really enjoying this, playing a club this size, it's, well it's what I've dreamed about and this is just great.

I feel someone tapping me on my shoulder, turning around I see Rae there with a bottle of water, "Hey, we thought you could do with this by now," she tells me as she looks back to Craig, who for a brief second stops what he is doing and just looks at me, then smiles, mouthing he loves me and then carries on with serving people their drinks.

"Cheers," I smile my thanks and swallow half the water in one gulp, "Sorry for deserting you, I hadn't exactly planned on working tonight, had I?"

"Oh it's fine I've got some mates in here, so I'm not lonely in the club," she smiles warmly and I nod my head.

"Good, well we'll have to go out again, and this time just hang out, not do any work, any of us," I tell her and then turn to change the record, blending in the next track to the whoops of the crowd, which just sends a thrill through my entire body.

"Yeah we'll have to do that," she nods her head, "I'll leave you to it," patting my arm she heads away, I watch her weave her way through the crowds till she reaches one of the booths along the wall, and drops down next to her mates. I see them all looking my way as she sits down, so I wave casually at them and her, before going back to my job for the night.

It's another hour or so later when I look over at the bar area which has cleared a bit and see Craig in conversation with Rich, it must be the connection that we always had, because suddenly he just stops talking and looks over at me, our eyes locking instantly, his smile widens and he blows me a kiss, which I pretend to catch, and place over my heart, blowing him a kiss back, which he does exactly the same to as I did with his. We both grin sheepishly at this, before I have to blend in a new track.

When I look over again, I see Craig is serving a customer and I notice that Rich is sending me this really filthy look, I just sigh and shake my head, he really doesn't like me, and I can't see why that is, what exactly have I done, I have hardly said a word to him, since the first time we met Craig was off on a rant and I had to lead him away, and then he avoided going to the house for days then when he did show his face he ignored me and just sent me strange looks.

Looking at Craig and him talking again I can tell that Rich looks happy, Craig is going on about something or other and even from where I'm stood I can see how Rich is having a good time just being with his mate, I doubt that Craig is telling him about us though, it's too public a place for that and really that's a private sort of conversation, but well they seem to have made up by the way that they are both behaving.

Craig looks over at me for a moment and smiles then waves, I blush and wave back as I bite my lip. I notice that Rich is looking at this interaction and just really looks disgusted, it's as if he's jealous or something, but that can't be, since he's straight and has a girlfriend.

**John Paul**

Another two hours pass and I am now convinced that Rich has a thing for Craig, he just has that, I'm in love with you, why aren't you noticing, look about him, the look I had when I first fell for Craig, and I suddenly understand why it is he doesn't like me, he wants Craig and he thought Craig was straight, then out of nowhere Craig has a boyfriend and he's left with the feeling like he lost something.

But why has he been saying he has a girlfriend then, is he ashamed of being gay, or maybe he's bi, or maybe he's like Craig... I chuckle to myself at that last part, just like Craig, I wonder if that's a sexuality though, just being attracted to your own sex, but only to one person and no one else ever. I'll have to look it up at some point, I make a mental note of that.

Rich better not try anything with Craig, or he'll have something to worry about, but as I look over at Craig, I can tell he is totally oblivious to it, it's just well it's typical Craig ain't it, to be oblivious to things that are just in front of him, but then from what Rae told me he hardly spent any time with the others those first couple of months and even if he is close to the guys, he's closer to Joe than he is to Rich so naturally he'd not notice if the guy was falling for him, and besides he was too busy thinking about me, longing to be with me, wanting me, and I know he wants me, I know I have nothing to worry about, but I'll have to tell him, and he'll have to sit Rich down and talk to him, cause I can't leave my boyfriend in a house with another bloke who is in love with him.

I shake my head at this and change the record, putting on something more uptempo, it's towards the end of the set list that was made, but I've added a few more tracks to it, so soon it'll just be my personal choices and I'll see how the crowd will react to them.

"You okay?" I turn to see Rae there and I frown, "Only you've been looking rather like you don't want to be here the past 10 minutes or so," she tells me as she hands me another bottle of water, I sigh at this and look over at Craig and Rich, she follows the direction I'm looking at and frowns when she looks back at me.

"He doesn't see it," I tell her quietly as I look away and out over the crowd.

"Doesn't see what?" She wonders, "He can't exactly ignore people at the bar to stare at you all night, though I am sure he'd rather do just that," she teases, making me smile slightly as I look at her again and then shake my head.

"He can't see that Rich is in love with him."

"What?" She shakes her head and looks back over to the two men in question, "He's not, he's got a girlfriend, remember."

"So did I," I sigh as I look at her, "I had Hannah and I fell for Craig, though I did know I was a bit different, even back then, and being with Hannah and being around Craig sort of finally confirmed it to me, but… well so did I, I had a girlfriend and all I wanted was Craig." I shrug, "You might not be able to see it, but I can, I know that look he has, and Craig is just oblivious to it, cause well he's never exactly been popular with the girls, so why should he be popular with the boys eh?"

"You're sure about this?"

"Positive, Rae the guy seriously dislikes me, you saw how he was at the house, and then all the time he's been over there, if Craig steps away he'll shoot me a filthy look, if Craig looks at me and I look at Craig and we do something to show each other that we love each other then when I look over at him I can see he's disgusted by it." I shake my head and blend in the next track before continuing, "He's in love with Craig."

"You don't think it might be the shock of it all?"

"Of what, Craig being with me?" she nods her head, "Nah, cause well supposedly he has a girlfriend, right?" once more she nods, "This thing he has for Craig, it isn't something that just happened over the last couple of days, so maybe he does have a girlfriend, cause he thought he'd never get Craig, for all he, or anyone else, other than you, knew he was straight and in love with his ex."

"Yeah that's right" she smiles encouraging me to continue.

"So he gets these feelings for Craig, cause he might be bi or whatever and then he knows Craig is out of reach to him, he goes out and gets a girlfriend, and then he shows up and voila there I am, and Craig is shouting at them that he has a boyfriend and then takes me upstairs." I chuckle, "I mean it's a bit farfetched I know, but it could happen, and I think it has, rather I'm convinced it has, and now that he knows Craig is into a bloke, I suspect he thinks he might have a chance with him, if I wasn't around." I shake my head, "Cause he doesn't know that Craig has only ever wanted one bloke, has only ever and will only ever love me."

"You'll have to tell Craig about this," she tells me as I finish and I know, and I nod my head showing her that I know.

"Yeah I know, he won't believe this though, he could hardly believe it when I told him I was in love with him, imagine this, eh?"

"You okay?"

I nod my head with a weary smile, "Suppose so, I know he loves me and only me, so I'll just have to keep on repeating that to stop myself from wondering about the what ifs." She smiles and hugs me briefly before leaving me to my thoughts as I turn back to my job.

**Craig**

John Paul just looks tired and defeated as he's sat there in one of the booths after the club has closed, I smile as I see Rae go over to him and flop down next to him, but I can still tell that he's down about something, I really want to go over to him and give him a good cuddle and a kiss, but the guys I'm working with all are knackered and want us to finish as quick as we can so that they can head home, and I understand that, besides I can kiss him and hold him whenever I want, I can wait a couple of extra minutes.

Ben comes over smiling as we finish and the guys leave for the night, me and him chit chat for a bit and he tells me he was really impressed with John Paul's work tonight, had even overheard some customers, some of the regulars, saying he was more fit and did his job better than the regular guy, and that they wouldn't mind seeing him in here again. This just made me beam with pride, I was so happy that other people could see the talent he had and well could see how beautiful he was, though they had to be blind not to see that, cause honestly he is bloody gorgeous.

We walk over to John Paul and finally, finally I can kiss him, it's a sweet and tender kiss, which makes me feel warm inside, Rae lets out an awww as we part and we both roll our eyes at that, it's just such a girl thing to do.

Ben clears his throat though as we lose ourselves in our own little world for a moment, "John Paul great work tonight," he takes out an envelope and hands it to John Paul, "The wages for tonight, and if you ever make the trip over here permanent, there'll be a job waiting for you in here." He holds out his hand to John Paul, who I can see is really surprised by this, "A talent like you, well I hope the club you work at now pays you the wages you are worth," John Paul blushes and mumbles his thanks as he shakes Ben's hand. Then he turns to look at me and he's beaming, and well I am pretty sure I am as proud of him as he is of himself right then.

Ben leaves us after a couple of minutes of chit chat and the three of us head home, and while Rae chats to me about her mates I notice that John Paul is unusually quiet, I grip his hand and give it a squeeze, which only makes him look at me and smile slightly, before looking ahead of him as he walks, I frown at this, something is clearly bothering him, but what it is, I can't for the life of me figure out.

We get home and head upstairs, Rae bids us good night and slips into her room and we carry on up to my room. He places the envelope that Ben gave him on the desk and then begins to undress, I do too, and we both slip under the covers just wearing our boxers. He sighs softly as he lays his head down on the pillow and I just look at him with a frown. "John Paul," he looks at me, "Are you alright?" I ask tentatively and he looks at me for a moment, then sighs and shrugs. "Has something happened?" I frown, cause surely I'd have noticed if something had happened while he was working the decks, but he just seemed happy and was smiling and well we were sort of flirting too, whenever we caught each other's eyes.

John Paul just looks at me and shrugs again, "So something has happened then," I wonder and he just closes his eyes, "John Paul please tell me, I can't stand seeing you be like this," I place my hand on his chest, and instantly feel him trembling, "What's wrong?" I'm up on my elbow looking at him now, but he just smiles sadly and shakes his head. "Have I done something to upset you?" I ask quietly, "I mean I know I sort of ignored you tonight, but… Well I couldn't get away, it's not cause I'm ashamed or anything…"

"Shhhh it's not that, I know you're not ashamed, don't worry about that Craig, I know you won't hurt me, I trust you okay… It's nothing you've done, nothing at all." He tells me reassuringly, making me calm down slightly.

"Then what's got you so down?" I ask as I kiss his cheek softly.

"Do you trust me?"

I nod my head, giving him the "don't ask stupid questions look," which makes him chuckle.

"I mean it Craig, do you trust me completely, like if I told you something I was sure about, you won't dismiss it as me seeing things or anything like that?"

"I trust you with my life John Paul, what is this thing that's got you so worked up?"

"It's Rich," he tells me quietly as he looks into my eyes, "I sort of figured out why he's off with me."

"I've talked to him, told him about us, you know up at the bar today, told him everything, well you know as much of it as I could out in public, but I told him the important parts, the falling in love, Han's birthday, the kiss at the dance off and the fight afterwards… Told him about that day, bar the details you know, told him about how much I hurt you during the summer, about the engagement, when it all came out… You leaving me at the airport cause I couldn't commit, me pining for you all the time I've been here." I smile softly, "I told him, suppose he gets it now, so I'm sure he won't be off with you anymore."

"He will be Craig, he'll always be off with me,"

"No he won't…" I'm about to continue when he places a finger over my mouth silencing me.

"Sweetheart please just let me get this off my chest, eh?" He pleads with me and I nod my head, "Okay as I was saying I figured out why he's off with me, and I'm convinced that I am right so please believe me and don't laugh it off or push it aside, okay?" I nod once more and he just sighs.

"Look I've been thinking about why he might not like me, if I've done anything to upset him or anything really, and well I haven't, I've hardly said anything to him, then I figured well maybe it's cause of the surprise of you suddenly being into a bloke and all, and maybe it is partly that, but since he's got a gay brother that he is close too, I doubt he is homophobic," he sighs again and closes his eyes, which makes me brush a kiss to his cheek and wait for him to continue.

"I was watching him at the club tonight, Craig the way he was looking at you, it's…" he pauses and looks at me, "I'm fairly sure that he is in love with you," I raise my eyebrows at that but don't comment as I sense he isn't done yet, "I dismissed it at first, but then I just recognized that look on his face, it was the exact same look I used to have when we were just mates and I wanted us to be much more,"

"But he has a girlfriend," I say disbelievingly, surely he's just imagining things.

"So did you sweetheart, and me too," he tells me with a sad smile, "Craig, you're too wonderful to ever notice this, you've not had the best of luck with relationships, girls never looked at you twice so you won't have noticed it at all if one did look at you, and then we get together and I know I'm the only one you'll ever want, but well why wouldn't someone else fall for you, some other bloke, you're wonderful and sexy and just perfect, so why wouldn't someone else see the same thing as I do?"

"But… But he didn't know, only Rae knew." I utter, still not believing this, and he's not gay, he's got a girlfriend.

"Craig I know this, but…" he sighs as he looks at me, his eyes pleading me to believe him to trust him on this, "Look he might be bi or… or sort of like you, you know just fell for a bloke," I nod my head for him to continue, "Well he might have fancied you from when you began to socialize with the rest of them, but then when you told them you were in love with your ex, and were just thinking about me and pining for me, I suppose he might have thought you were out of reach for him," he stops for a bit and brushes away my hair from my forehead with a small smile, I smile back encouraging him to continue, which he does, "So he sort of moved on, you know got the girlfriend and got on with his life, and then the other day you just tell the guy who is in love with you that you are into a bloke, bringing all those feelings back to the surface…" he sighs and closes his eyes and this time he doesn't open them, but his breathing changes, and I can tell he's fighting back tears.

"John Paul?" I wrap my arm around his waist, pulling him closer to me.

"I think he might think he has a chance with you Craig, I mean if you're into one bloke then surely you can be into another one and…" he opens his eyes and his tears fall freely down his face, "I can't lose you Craig, not again, I'm really scared that I'll go back home and… and then you and him will find that there is something there and then you'll call me and finish with me, cause I'm too far away and he's right here and…" his body is shaking with his sobs now and it's killing me to see him like this, I pull him closer to me, he buries his head in my shoulder and sobs as I rub my hand up and down his back.

I hold him close to me as he cries and try to make sense of what he's told me, Rich can't be gay, or bi or whatever, and why fall for me? I'm nothing special, and I certainly never gave him any signal as to being even slightly interested in him. I've only wanted John Paul, I only want John Paul, I've got him now and that's all that matters to me, if Rich is in love with me then he'll have to get over it cause I lost John Paul once and I won't lose him again. I won't ever do anything that will make me lose him, I can't be without him. I love him.

Eventually John Paul stops crying, I hear him sniffling though so I cup his face and raise it up so that I can look into his eyes, I brush away the remaining tears and kiss him gently on the lips, "I love you John Paul," I smile warmly, "I love you, I am in love with you, I want to be with you… I don't care about Rich, or whoever else might or might not be in love with me, I only want you, you're my first and only boyfriend and nothing will ever change that." I can see the relief fitting over his face but he's still apprehensive, "I know the distance thing will be difficult John Paul, but I've just spent the past 6 months pining for you, not knowing if you'd ever want to talk to me again, now I know you're only a phone call away, only an email away, only a text away, I can get in touch with you the second I'm missing you, and you can get in touch with me the second you're missing me too, we're together now and I won't blow it this time round, I'm yours for as long as you'll want me, only you John Paul, you… Don't worry about anything else, it's only you and it will only ever be you, okay?"

He sniffles again and slowly nods his head, "I love you too sweetheart, but I just got scared that you'd settle for someone closer to you, cause when I'm not here we'll be in different countries and…"

I interrupt him with a kiss, "Shut up," I chuckle as I pull back, "Shut up and shut down that brain of yours that likes to overanalyze just about everything, I only want you John Paul, you and only you." I kiss him again, deeper this time rolling him onto his back, "I only want to do this with you," I pant as I pull back, I kiss him again and begin to slowly kiss my way down his face, his neck, down to his chest, where I suck on his nipples, "I only want to do this with you," I say as I nibble on his left nipple making him groan, "I only want to hear you making such noises," I continue, before kissing my way down to his boxer clad groin, finding that his cock has gone hard. I pull down his boxers and expose his throbbing erection, "and I only want to do this with you too," I tell him, as I open my mouth and swallow his cock, making him cry out my name. He watches me as I blow him and when he comes he cries out my name so loudly that I am sure everyone in the house, and the street I live on heard it, but I don't give a shit, he's my boyfriend and I had to show him that it was only him, would only ever be him that had a place in my heart.

"I only want to taste you John Paul," I tell him as I crawl back up to his side and lick my lips provocatively, savoring the taste of him on them, he leans in and kisses me letting our tongues duel in my mouth, undoubtedly lapping up the taste of himself mingled with the taste of me. "John Paul," I grip his hand and place it over my heart, "You're in here, all the time, and no one, no one will ever and has ever been able to take your place in here… From the moment I realized I loved you you've been the only one in here, Sarah couldn't compete and neither will anyone else, okay?"

He smiles now, the genuine smile that I love and kisses me, "Thank you Craig," he tells me, "Thank you so much," he wraps his arm around my waist and looks into my eyes for a bit, then he rolls back onto his back, pulling me back on top of him, pressing our lips together in a sweet kiss. "Fuck me Craig," he whispers in my ear as he kisses his way from my lips to my ear. I pull back slightly and look at him but he nods his head for me to carry on. It's not that we don't both top and bottom, but well I just prefer to bottom and he usually prefers to top, we've already switched it around once during his visit, maybe he is trying to make me happy by letting me do this now, so that I won't leave him.

"You don't have to do this John Paul," I tell him gently as I smile, "I've told you I'm not going anywhere,"

"I know that, but I just want you to fuck me… Please…" he looks pleadingly into my eyes and I nod and smile, realizing that he just wants me, because he wants me and not anything else, so I kiss him again, then get off the bed and get out of my boxers, helping him off with his, then position myself between his legs and hoist them up to rest on my shoulders.

Throughout our relationship I think I can count on two hands how many times I've topped him, but I know that he enjoys it, that he loves it when I come inside of him. I coat my fingers with saliva, one of these days we really have to go out and buy some lube I think to myself, as I pry his cheeks apart and gently push a finger inside of him, he moans softly as I breach him and groans out loud when moments later my finger connects with his prostate, I replace one finger with two and gently finger fuck him, watching mesmerized how his cock grows every single time my fingers connect with his prostate, when I think he's about ready to blow his load I extract my fingers, and coating my cock with more saliva, I place it at his tight entrance and gently begin to push inside of him.

John Paul winces initially as the head of my cock breaches his tight hole and I stop all movement, letting him adjust as I stroke his cock firmly, making him groan out my name in his low husky voice which turns me on so much. He nods for me after a moment and I slowly begin to push my hard cock into him, until I'm all the way inside of him, he drops his legs and wraps his arms around my neck, pulling me down so that we can kiss again. I begin to move inside of him to his appreciative grunts and when I connect with his prostate he pulls back and calls out my name in a throaty groan, it turns me on so much to hear him say my name like that, and I reward him by fucking him harder and faster to the point where he begins to scream, "Fuck me harder Craig, harder," and for once I actually think about my housemates, so I do what he wants from me and I fuck him harder, but at the same time I shut him up by kissing him hard only pulling back once in a while so that we both can breathe.

I feel him come between our bodies, his cock just shoots his lust for me out of him without either one of us touching it, and as his orgasm rockets through him, he groans into my mouth, this and his arse clenching around my cock sends me over the edge and with a few more hard thrusts I come deep inside of him, filling him up, marking him as mine and only mine. Pulling out of him I drop down on the bed and resume kissing him, loving him, showing him that I only want him.

He cuddles up to me, resting his head on my chest as I pull the duvet up to cover us, I kiss his forehead and smile as he murmurs contentedly. "John Paul," he lifts his head and looks at me, "I only ever want to do that with you," I tell him making him let out a throaty laugh.

"Me too sweetheart, only you," He tells me as he presses a soft kiss to my lips, he rests his head down on my chest again, wrapping his arm around my middle as I hold him closer to me. We don't say anything, words aren't necessary anymore, I've shown him that it's only him I want and I know he knows this now, so we just hold each other as sleep slowly begins to tug at our consciousness.

"John Paul," I say quietly after a while and hear him making a sound as he raises his head slightly to look at me, "I only want to cuddle with you, and I only want to fall asleep with you in my bed, just you and no one else, ever again." I smile warmly and press a kiss to his forehead. He smiles back and nods his head.

"Me too Craig, I love you."

"Love you too John Paul."

We both don't say anything else this night, I hold him and when I feel him fall asleep, I finally let go and allow for sleep to sweep over me too, I've told him what I want, what I need and he told me pretty much the same thing, we only want each other, and that's all that matters.

**Might post a couple of more chapters this week, what with it being Christmas and all. **

**Hope you enjoyed this. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the wait, to those of you who have been waiting. **

**John Paul**

If Rich was in love with my Craig, well then by the end of my stay here he'll know, know for sure to keep his hands and eyes well clear, or else. That had been my thought when I woke up in the morning, the McQueen gene had kicked in and I was going to show that guy that Craig was off limits. That had been one of the things on my mind as I sucked Craig off, while he slept making him scream out his appreciation as he woke up mid blow job, and that was still on my mind as I fucked him, teasingly slow to begin with, so that he had to scream out for me to bloody do my job and fuck him harder, which I did, I fucked him into the fucking mattress and he came so hard that I thought he'd pass out, he didn't though, but I am pretty sure all his screaming woke up whoever was still sleeping in the house, hell I am pretty sure his screaming woke up loads of people on the street he lived on.

We stayed in bed and cuddled afterwards, and it was just perfect, I showed him that my slight meltdown from last night was gone, I showed him I trusted him and told him that too, told him I loved him and that when I wouldn't be here then I knew he wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me, something he promised me he wouldn't and he hadn't needed do that, he proved it to me last night and I love him for it.

We decided to just do whatever we felt like today, maybe go out and see some movie or something, I told him to do his course work first though, something he scrunched up his nose at, whining that he didn't want to do that, but I got him to do it anyways, with promises of sexy rewards, that got him going, he only considered it for a moment, then jumped off the bed, grabbed his bag and sat down at his desk, naked, to do his course work.

I chuckled at that and padded over to him, grabbing the envelope his boss had giving me containing my pay for the DJ'ing I did, and wow that was a lot of money, more than double of what Warren pays me. I knew for sure he'd never pay me that much, even if I talked to him about it, hell he'd probably just fire me and hire some newbie. Craig chuckled at my expression as I counted the money and then returned to his course work as I stuffed the money into my wallet, this would come in handy, and help out mum too, what with the social benefits being cut and all, and then the probable fine she was going to get, yeah this would come in handy for sure.

When Craig finished his course work, some hours later, we headed for a shower together, we passed Rich on our way and I made sure to squeeze Craig's arse when I knew Rich was looking, making Craig let out a yelp and then I stopped him, walked around to face him, pressed a hard wet kiss to his lips, as I let my hands rub down his back, stopping them at his arse, squeezing it firmly with my hands, making him groan into my mouth and then push me backwards into the bathroom.

I rewarded Craig as promised for the effort he put in into his course work, we did however try to keep as quiet as physically possible and I think we succeeded for the most part. We showered too afterwards, and then went upstairs to get dressed. I was still using Craig's clothes, figured I'd get my stuff washed at some point before going back home, and besides I liked wearing his clothes, made it rather obvious that I was with him and he was with me, or so I thought.

Heading downstairs we bumped into Rich in the kitchen, I let Craig and him talk as I set out making us some tea, and by us I mean only Craig and me, I wasn't going to be nice to the person who had the hots for my boyfriend. I heard them laughing about something and thought it was good that they were talking, but still felt I needed to show Rich that he should keep it at the being mates basis or else, as I strode over to Craig, gripped his shoulders, turned him to face me as he was talking and then proceeded to kiss him, sticking my tongue into his mouth and really just showing him how much I loved him, when I pulled back he whimpered at the loss of my lips and had I not been holding onto him I was rather sure that he'd have fallen to the floor, so I sat him down, pecked him once more on the lips then went back to pour the water into the mugs. By now Rich had long since gone and thank fuck for that was what I thought.

Now we're cuddled up together in the living room, Craig is on my lap as we're watching TV, nothing in particular, just some music thing, which Craig comments on every now and then.

"Oh I like her," he points to Leona Lewis on the TV, "Great vocals,"

"Yeah indeed, but I'd just wish she did an uptempo song, just once," I sigh and he nods his head in agreement.

"But still she's the queen of the ballads, I think."

I chuckle at this and kiss his hair as I agree with him, he rests his head on my shoulder and I hold him as close as I can, making sure that he is comfortable. Out of the corner of my eye I spot Rich as he hoovers at the door, I notice how he peeps in and then disappears, he repeats this a couple of times before finally entering the room, I don't look at him, and pretend that I haven't seen him at all, I know Craig hasn't noticed him yet, so I kiss him, softly to begin with, loving it when he moans softly and parts his lips so that my tongue is allowed entry into his mouth. "I love you Craig," I tell him as I pull back, "Always and forever, just you and me." I kiss him again and then smile as I rest my forehead against his.

"I love you too, always and forever," he smiles his reply to me, "There is not room for anyone other than you in my heart, or in my life John Paul," he kisses me again and then rests his head on my shoulder as I smile widely before looking at the TV again.

Rich hasn't said anything yet, I know he's in the room though so I make sure to show him that I know he's there, "I'm gonna go get a drink, you want anything?" I ask Craig who just shakes his head, he lifts his legs letting me get up and then drops them still watching the TV, I smile as I walk away and as I pass the couch I throw a really casual, "Hey," in Rich's direction, before looking over at Craig who now looks over at Rich and then me, "Love you Craig," I tell him just as I reach the door.

"Love you too John Paul," he says just as I leave the room, making me smile as I enter the kitchen. I end up getting some water, bringing a glass back for Craig too, which he gladly accepts when I hand it to him, and then lifts his legs again, letting me sit back down, then shuffling about until he's comfortable again.

"I was thinking," Craig begins, making me look at him, "How about we plan your next visit, eh?" he smiles widely, and I nod at this.

"Sure, how does in three weeks time sound, though it'll be about two weeks time once I go back home next week," I chuckle, and he looks at me for a moment then presses a kiss to my lips.

"Sounds good, how many days?"

"Hmm well extended weekend I suppose," I shrug and see his face drop, "Sweetheart if I could, I'd stay longer, you know that," he nods his head but I can tell he doesn't like this deal, "You could come visit me too, then it won't feel like we're apart for that long," I suggest but see instantly that he doesn't really think that's a good idea.

"I can't… It's too soon, there's… I can't face Sarah and mum,"

"You don't have to, we can spend the entire time in my room," I raise my eyebrows suggestively and at this I can tell he's contemplating it. "You don't have to see anyone you don't want to see, it's your life, you'll see the people you want and the others can just wait," I sigh, "Besides I think you've told Sarah all she needed to hear, twice even, and your mum, well she's got other things to worry about now, besides you've got Steph on your side, and I'm pretty sure Debbie would support you too and there's Jack hell even Darren is there, even though he'll undoubtedly take the piss out of this, but that's just him, an idiot."

"Yeah I suppose you're right," he sighs, "We'll just see, yeah?" I nod my head in agreement. "I wish you lived here with me," he says with a pout and it just melts my heart.

"Someday in the future sweetheart, Dublin or somewhere in England, I don't care, as long as I'm with you, we just have to finish school."

"Well," he looks at me for a moment then shakes his head, "Never mind," I can tell he wants to say something but he's doubting himself.

"No what is it?"

"You'll think I'm selfish,"

"No I won't, come on, tell me."

"Can't you…" he looks away from me over in Rich's direction, I'd not forgotten about him being here, but well you'd think the guy would get the drift that this was a private conversation, but no such luck, he was sat there doing his best impression of a person not listening in on our conversation. "Can't you transfer to a Uni here?" Craig asks as he looks at me, "I don't want to be without you and only have weekends and holidays to share with you, I want you to be with me all the time." He tells me sadly as he brushes his finger over my cheek, "Like you were supposed to be." He finishes and then wraps his arms around me, hugging me tightly.

I'm sort of speechless at this point, I hadn't expected this, I mean we've barely just gotten back together and after my meltdown last night I'd half expected him to run a freaking mile, but instead now it's his turn to be all needy and clingy and I find myself welling up with all the love I feel for this wonderful, brown eyed beauty that is my boyfriend. A few days ago I had no clue as to whether or not he still wanted to be with me, I'd just made a huge mistake and I came here, to talk to him, talk to my best mate and hoped that maybe he still loved me too, and now, well now he's telling me he wishes I lived here with him, that we were together all the time and I'd love that, but I don't know with school, don't know if I can transfer, and then there's my family, mum will literally lose it if I decide to move away, and there are so many things back home that are important to me that I don't know if I can just up and leave, just like that.

"You really mean this, you really want me to live with you here?" I ask him, he pulls his head back and looks into my eyes, then nods his head.

"Always, I've never missed a person as much as I've missed you these past months, and now that you're here… I don't know how I'll cope with having to let you go back and having to say good bye to you, and I know it's selfish and I know you have commitments and your family and all your mates back home, but…" he sighs and breathes in deeply, "I just want you to be here with me, I want us to start living our life together like we were supposed to be, I don't want to be without you."

I nod my head slowly at this, "How about we…" I pause for a moment, what's holding me back, why is it I can't just say yes like I want to, cause I do, I really do want to move over here and be with him, but I think maybe we both will need the time apart those couple of weeks between this visit and my next one to think about this properly. "I need to think about this properly, and so do you," I tell him, "Let's see how this week goes, and then when I go back we can both think about it, and on my next visit we can talk about it properly and make a final decision then…" I look into his eyes and can tell he's disappointed that this wasn't what he wanted to hear, "It's not a no Craig," I tell him and he nods his head, "I just… I think we both need to be completely sure about this, we both need to be apart after having been together to figure out if living together right now is a good idea, or if we should wait until we've finished school."

"I know what I want John Paul," he tells me without even blinking, "I want you, I want you to live with me here, I want to share my life with you from this moment on." He pauses for a moment then brushes a finger over my eyebrow, "I thought you'd want the same thing."

"I do Craig, I really do…" I begin and then pause, "But…"

"If you do and I do then why not just do it?" he interrupts me, "I've thought about this for so long now, I know that this is what I want, I know it John Paul."

"But Craig, up until a couple of days ago, I didn't know if we'd ever see each other again,"

"I was going to come back for you, I would've come and taken you back home with me,"

"I know, you've told me," I smile at this, "Craig I'm not saying no, in fact I am pretty sure I've said yes to living with you after we finish school, so in a way it is a yes already," I tell him but he frowns at this and gives me the don't talk rubbish look.

"John Paul, in a couple of years is fine and dandy, but I want us to live together now, as in this fucking minute now." He sighs and I chuckle.

"Sweetheart, up until a few days ago my life was a miserable mess and I made some mistakes, you know that, but being here with you, it's… we've talked through our issues, and I know we love each other and that nothing and no one will ever ruin things for us, I know we have a future together," he smiles as I say that, and I look quickly at Rich, seeing he's now reading some magazine, pretending he isn't listening in, "But I think I need to be apart from you, need to think things through properly before making this big, possibly life-altering decision, cause you know what I'd have to leave behind and you know how difficult that is for me, I just need to think it through and make the decision on my own, cause I know you'll talk me into it and I know my family will try to talk me out of it if I was to go home and tell them that we've decided to live together from now on." I sigh and look at him, my eyes pleading with him to understand this, to let me make the decision, make sure that it's mine and mine alone, "I can't have them blaming you, or hating you for taking me away if I tell them that we've decided this, but if it's my own decision, if I just tell them that I've thought it through and I know that I have to be here then well they'd just have to deal with it, won't they?"

Craig looks at me for a moment then smiles widely, "You just agreed to come live here with me," I frown at this and think back to what I've just said, "I get what you're saying and yeah I agree you should probably tell them that it's your own decision, which it is, cause I don't want to come across as someone who's pressured you into anything, but well once you've made the decision official we'll have to look into getting you a transfer and all, and you've already got a job set up and…"

"Whoa whoa… slow down," I stop him, "Look I said if I tell them, I meant that if I tell them I want to come live here then it's my decision, they won't have you to blame for, possibly taking me away…" I sigh as he continues to smile and nod his head.

"Yeah of course, whatever you want John Paul."

"Craig, I'm serious, I haven't agreed to anything yet,"

"I know, I know… But you will, I know you will."

I shake my head and breathe in deeply, wondering why he is so confident, but at the same time loving that he is this confident cause it means the world to me that he wants me to live with him here, that he wants me to come out here so soon and deep down I know that my decision has been made even before I go back home, but I think I need to go back home and make it properly, if that even makes any sense. I suppose I need to go back and sort of let go of Hollyoaks, get things sorted and then after my term ends just come over here for good.

"So can we drop this now and go out to watch that movie you've been going on about?" I ask him and he nods his head, kisses me on the lips then gets up, pulling me up with him.

"You're buying the candy, Mr. Superstar DJ," he chuckles as he dashes out of the front door, with me running after him and shoving him playfully when I catch up to him.

"Fine, but tickets, popcorn and drinks are on you," I retort as I nudge him with my elbow, making him pout, he'd not seen that one coming, "What am I not worth that?" I challenge him teasingly and the pout disappears, being replaced with a beautiful smile.

"You're worth much much more than that," he tells me with such honesty that it makes me blush.

We chit chat about things back home for the remainder of the walk to the cinema, and once inside he buys us the tickets for "Superhero Movie," and gets the drinks and popcorn while I get to buy all the candy, plenty of chocolate for him and chocolate buttons for me.

Up in the theater we sit together in the rather empty room, which suits me just fine, there are about 10 people in there besides us, most of them couples, a couple of others are same sex too, I notice, which is good. I brush a kiss to Craig's cheek, making him smile and raise his eyebrows, before returning the kiss.

The movie starts and my brain zones out, suddenly all I can think about is moving, living with him permanently, spending the rest of my life with him and wanting to be with him no matter what, I try to make myself think about school about everything, but even that doesn't matter, my internal voice tells me that I can always go back to school later on, that I am only young once and if I can't transfer to a Uni here, then I can focus on making a name out of myself as a DJ, that the job I've been offered is a good one and pays good money too, and that Ben most likely has connections and could help me become a superstar DJ.

By the time the movie ends I've made a decision and as we walk back home, Craig chatting to me about the movie and me just smiling and nodding, agreeing with him, since I don't recall a single moment from it, despite just seeing it, I just know that the decision I've made is the right one, even if no one else will agree with me.

We get back home and go into the living room, everyone is in this evening for some reason, and we drop down in the chair we'd sat in earlier, Craig crawling onto my lap as he tells the others about the movie, and I feel like they have all, well except Rich, accepted me, welcomed me into their house, but truth be told even if they all had hated me, my decision wouldn't have been affected.

"Craig," he stops talking and looks at me with a smile on his lips, he was just telling them how perfect it was to be out with your boyfriend, when I interrupted him. "Craig, I've…" he frowns slightly as I hesitate, "Yes Craig, I'll… Yeah I'll live with you from now on, well you know as soon as school finishes this term, yeah?" His smile is wider than wide at this moment and he nods his head like crazy.

"Yeah? You'll move, you'll come here, to be with me?" I bite my lip and nod my head slowly and before I know it he's kissing me, "It's great, it will be great, I swear, we'll make it perfect and we'll work together and possibly go to school together and… A life together John Paul, just like we planned." He turns to look at the others really beaming, "He's going to live with us soon, my boyfriend wants to live with me," he tells them proudly, "You want to live with me," he tells me as he looks back at me and I smile and nod my head.

"Guess you're stuck with me now," I tell him and he just nods his head and kisses me again. I look at the others and can see Rae, Joe and Kate are all smiling and happy for us, I look briefly at Rich and can tell he's devastated, I look at Craig, look into his eyes and somehow make him look over at Rich and see his facial expression change, he looks back at me and bites his lip. "Go, you know what you have to do," I tell him and he nods his head before kissing me again, then he gets up and looks over at the others.

"Rich, mate can I have a word?" he asks Rich, who looks surprised but then nods his head and follows Craig out of the room, they head upstairs and by the sounds of it, into Rich's room. I sigh and look over at Rae and smile weakly, because I know that she knows what this is about, she smiles and then comes over to me.

"Well welcome, roomie," she says teasingly making me laugh.

"I'm not your roomie just yet, still have to go back and sort things out, see if I can get transferred to a school here and all that."

"What if you can't?" Joe wonders and I just shrug.

"Then I can't, I'll just work, make sure Craig doesn't have to worry about studying and working at the same time, make sure that he puts all his energy towards getting his degree. I can always go to school later on in life… We'll see how it goes, I just know I have to be here with Craig."

"Right, well then let's celebrate, eh?" Kate suggests and we all nod, "Will they be long," she wonders as she points up and I shrug.

"Might be, might not be, but we can start celebrating and then they can join us later." I tell her and they all nod at this, so we set about making a small celebratory party of sorts, knowing full well that all of them have school in the morning so it's nothing spectacular, we decide to leave that for my actual moving in thing later in the year.

**Craig**

I leave the living room with Rich behind me, and head for his room. Sitting down on the chair as he closes the door and sits down on the bed facing me, I bite my lip not entirely sure how to start this conversation, hoping that John Paul is wrong, but also knowing that he is right, cause I'd seen that look in Rich's eyes just before and well if he wasn't in love with me, then he must fancy the pants of John Paul, and he doesn't even know John Paul so that kinda only leaves me as the one he fancies.

"Okay I'm gonna ask you something and I need you to be honest with me," I begin and he nods his head, "Ehm… This is awkward… Are you…" I breathe in deeply, "Are you in love with me?"

Instantly I can see the fear in his eyes and then he just shakes his head, "What? No, no I'm not," he says quickly, his eyes darting around the room.

"Rich…"

"No, I'm not!" he repeats firmly.

"Okay, so you fancy John Paul then?"

He snorts at this and looks rather disgusted, okay so he really doesn't like him.

"Look Rich, something is clearly bothering you, I know you're not homophobic, and I know you have no real reason to hate John Paul, so if you're not in love with me, what's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong,"

I snort at this and just look pointedly at him, "If nothing is wrong then what is your problem with John Paul?" I wonder.

"I just don't like him," he shrugs.

"Why? He's not done anything to you."

"I just don't." He repeats with another shrug.

"But why?"

"Cause I don't, he's arrogant and full of himself and just too bloody happy all the time."

I chuckle at this, "No he isn't, he's wonderful, caring, loving and the best mate anyone could ever wish to have."

"I don't think so,"

"You hardly know him,"

"I know enough."

I sigh at this, he is really being childish and trying to avoid the real issue by insulting John Paul and well knowing myself I'd most likely end up storming out of the room having told him off, but I keep myself calm.

"Rich, it's okay you know," he looks at me questioningly, "It's okay to be in love with me, no need to be embarrassed or deny it, I'm not gonna have a go at you for it."

"I'm not," he whispers and I nod my head.

"Rich, it's okay, I know how difficult it is to admit, I told you about me and John Paul, I told you how it all started, it tore him up not being able to tell me, being scared of how I'd react, but after he just let it all out, I saw the change in him, he was more… Well he was more comfortable with things after then, after that I was the one with loads to think about."

"I can't have you," Rich says quietly, "I can't ever have you and it just hurts to know that," he looks at me and I can see the pain in his eyes, it hurts me to see him like this. "I wish I didn't love you, I wish it had just been a crush that would've gone away, like they always do, but not this time."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

He laughs dismissively, "How? For all I knew you were straight and pining for the girl you'd left behind in England," I bite my lip and nod my head, "Then you tell us you have a boyfriend and it just killed me, cause I wanted to be with you, cause I loved you and… cause I love you" He looks at me with a look of defeat on his face. "I know I can't have you," he almost whispers.

"Rich, even if I'd told you guys from day one that my ex was a bloke, even then, I'd never ever would've been interested," I look at him as I continue, "John Paul means the world to me, even when we weren't together, even after he left me, even then I could stop thinking about him, thinking about how badly I'd treated him, how I messed everything up so horribly and then ended up losing the one person I ever really loved," I smile softly, "I couldn't believe it when he showed up here the other day, and we talked, we properly talked about everything that happened, I got to tell him my side of things, cause I'd never done that before, and he forgave me and I forgave him, cause we both hurt each other last year, we nearly destroyed each other," I pause and think about what we'd gone through last year, "He's my main priority now, I've promised him I'll never hurt him again, I promised him I'll never let him down again, and I'm keeping my promises to him, I'm not disappointing him this time round."

"I know,"

"I'm flattered Rich, I really am, but it will only ever be John Paul, I'm not interested in anyone else, only him. He's coming to live with us soon and we'll have a real proper relationship, and build our future together, cause he is it for me, he is my future, nothing and no one else matters to me." I can tell it pains Rich to hear this, but I need him to get it, I need him to understand that this crush he has on me will be one sided, he needs to know that John Paul is who I want, him and only him.

He sighs as he looks at me "I know, it's just… I can't just stop loving you,"

"I know, but you have to let go, you have you make yourself see that you can't ever have me, you have to move on and be happy with your girlfriend, focus all your attention on her, show her you love her, cause I might suspect you've not given her your full attention these past couple of days."

"What if that isn't enough, what if I can't stop loving you, what if… what if you and him don't work out…?" he looks pleadingly at me making me sigh.

"If for some reason John Paul leaves me, then that'll be that, I'll be heartbroken and after a period of mourning I'd probably find a woman I can settle down with," I shrug, "But I know that nothing and no one will break us apart." I pause for a moment before continuing, "He's the first, last and only bloke I'll ever be with Rich, so don't… Don't waste your time on waiting for me, I'll never be interested in you, or any other bloke, it's only John Paul, it will only ever be John Paul."

He whimpers at this and I know it's cruel but I am not going to stay and comfort him if he begins to cry, that's not my job, "I'm sorry," he looks at me and his eyes are shimmering with unshed tears.

"Don't be sorry, we don't control who we fall in love with, do we now?" I tell him and he shakes his head, "But you've got to let go, you have a girlfriend, make her happy, be happy with her, she does make you happy doesn't she?" He nods his head slowly and I nod mine too, "So yeah, focus on her, and soon you'll be over me for good." I get to my feet now and head for the door, "I'm gonna leave you to it, I suppose you have some things to think through," I reach for the handle and then stop, "Are you gay or bi?"

"Bi," he says and I just nod my head, "Will it stop hurting?" he asks me as the first tears fall down his cheeks and I bite my lip as I look at him.

"At some point it will, but if you let it control you then it won't… It's up to you really," I open the door, step outside and close the door behind me. I stay there for a couple of minutes and hear him let go, hear him break down and just cry, I breathe in deeply and then walk downstairs.

Walking back to the living room I stop at the door as I spot John Paul dancing with Kate while Joe watches them, I look on for a moment then hear a noise from the kitchen. Heading out there I see Rae is getting out some crisps for us, "Hey," she looks at me as I sit down at the kitchen table, "Everything okay?"

"I just told a guy that he has to stop being in love with me," I look at her and shake my head, "I think I might have broken his heart, I told him I'd never be interested in him, even if me and John Paul split up, he broke down I think, after I left… And I don't think it's my place to comfort him."

"I'll check on him in a minute," she tells me and I nod, "You had to do it Craig, you had to tell him, he had to know that there was no chance there, not any possibility either… It had to be done," she kisses my cheek, "Bring those out to the others, will you?" she nods towards the bowls with crisps and I nod my head, "I'll be, you know…" I nod again.

"Thanks Rae," she smiles and then leaves the kitchen to go check on Rich. I stay seated for a moment just shaking my head at this situation, then pick up the bowls and leave the kitchen. Entering the living room I smile as my eyes connect with John Paul's, he's sat on the couch watching the others dance, I put down the bowls on the table and drop down next to him, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"How'd it go?" he asks me and I just shrug.

"Suppose he got the message," I tell him, "Rae is with him now, he sort of broke down, I think." John Paul nods his head and wraps his hand around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.

"You okay?"

I look at him for a bit before answering, "Suppose so, it's just weird, I never thought any other bloke would fancy me after you, and then, well it happens… I don't like hurting people, but I sort of had to hurt him, had to make him see that even if you and me were not together then there was no chance of him ever being with me in a relationship…" I sigh as I close my eyes, "It's just… I wish I didn't have to hurt him, wish he didn't have those feelings for me."

"I know sweetheart," he kisses my cheek tenderly, "I know, but he'll get over it,"

"Suppose so," I sigh and then smile as I look at John Paul.

"What?"

"You're moving to Dublin, you're going to be here with me all the time." I hug him, "We can hug and kiss and talk and touch and everything all the time." I nestle closer to him as he chuckles and pulls me closer to him, holding me lovingly, slightly possessively too, but I don't mind, cause I am his and he is mine and that's how it will be from now on.

"Sounds lovely," he breaths into my ear as he kisses my head and I sigh in agreement.

"Come on you two," we both look up at Kate who's coming over to us, "We're supposed to be celebrating, not sitting on our own chatting, you two have a life time of doing that, for now, come on let's dance," she drags me up and I chuckle as I am being dragged away from John Paul to dance with her. John Paul doesn't stay seated for long though, he comes over to us and joins us as does Joe, and soon we're paired off anyways, but still dancing in a way so that we're all dancing together.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**It is Christmas after all, so here you all go, another chapter. :P It's a bit short, sorry about that.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!**

**John Paul**

I wake up with a smile, turning in the bed I see that he isn't there, but there's a note on his pillow. I reach for it and stroke the words with my finger, his handwriting is beautiful, just like him,

"John Paul,

Didn't have the heart to wake you when I got up, have to dash to a couple of classes, will be back home soon.

You've made me so happy last night, thank you for wanting me, for loving me, thank you for wanting to move to Dublin.

I'll see you soon.

Craig

xxx."

I sigh happily and reread the note a couple of times, he was so happy last night, the joy in his eyes when I told him that I would come to live here with him, it was indescribable. It's the right decision, I know it is, because I love him and we're meant to be together. I feel like I fought so hard to get him, and then I let him go because he wasn't ready, but he is now, he is ready to be with me now and he is proud of being out in public with me now, he isn't bothered about kissing me, or holding my hand or anything when we are out and about, and as I told him, I know he won't ever hurt me again. I know I can trust him. I know that he loves me because I love him just as much.

I decide to go shower, so I get out of bed, find my towel and a change of clothes from his closet and head for the shower, I can hear the TV is on downstairs, so someone is home, I think as I close the bathroom door and undress.

I head back up to the room after having showered and dressed and decide to go on the computer, check my emails and maybe catch Hannah online. As luck would have it she is online and we IM each other for a bit, her asking me all about Dublin and Craig and how things are going, and me being as giddy as a school girl, telling her how in love I am, how happy Craig makes me and how perfect being with him is now that he isn't afraid to show me that he loves me out in public. "He's proud to be with me Han, really proud." I write her and she tells me she's really pleased for me. I decided against telling her that I am moving, that's something I want to do in person. She leaves soon thereafter, had plans with Danny she told me and it made me glad that she had someone special in her life, someone who could love her the way I couldn't.

I check my email and see that aside from the usual school stuff there's nothing interesting there, so I just end up checking out the music releases, seeing what new stuff there is out there, and then checking some sites for some records that I'd like to have for my DJ'ing. This is my favorite pastime, it relaxes me, gives me energy to deal with things, and I have a feeling of having to deal with Rich for a while, cause he won't stop loving my boyfriend just like that, it will take time and he will most probably think there is still some hope, and I won't be surprised if he tries it on with Craig when Craig is drunk or is missing me badly.

"John Paul?" I jump in the chair as my name is shouted rather loudly from the bottom of the house and smile as it's Craig.

"Up here sweetheart," I call back, and not a minute later he is bolting into the room, smiling as he sees me sat on the computer.

"Hey," he says happily as he stops behind me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and kissing me on the cheek, "I missed you,"

"Missed you too," I turn my head and kiss him on the lips.

"Anything good on there?" he asks as he sits down on my lap and points to the computer.

"Some records and stuff that I want, just checking, oh and I talked to Han,"

"Yeah? How is she?"

"Good, didn't stay for long though, had plans with her boyfriend," I smile, "I'm glad she has someone who can love her the way she deserves to be loved." Craig nods his head thoughtfully, then reaches for the computer and shuts it down.

"Come on," he gets up and grips my hand, "We've got something to do." He continues and then starts pulling me out of the room, I barely have time to get my shoes on my feet, before I am being dragged down the stairs.

"Craig, where are we going?"

"You'll see," he says with a smile as we reach the front door, and before I can say anything he's outside, I close the door behind me and go after him, we fall into step after a couple of seconds.

"What have you planned?" I wonder.

"You'll see," he tells me again, and then begins to tell me about his day so far, not letting me say anything else until we reach our destination. He takes out his keys and locks us in, then locks the door behind us.

I look around, the place is really huge, especially on a Monday when it's empty, "Craig, why are we at the club again?" I look questioningly at him, but he just shrugs and walks through the door to the back rooms, I frown and am about to go after him when he reappears with Ben.

**Craig**

"I was thinking," I say as Ben and John Paul greet each other, "Ben you offered John Paul here a job the other night, right?" I ask Ben who looks at John Paul for a moment and then looks at me.

"Yes I did."

"Offer still stand?"

"Yeah… Why?" Ben wonders.

"Cause, well you see John Paul will be moving to Dublin soon, to live with me and the guys and… " I walk over to John Paul and grip his hand, placing a soft kiss on his open mouth, "Well I just want to make sure he has a job set up for him for when he actually does make the move." I pause for a minute to look at John Paul and then turn to look at Ben, "I figured we'd tell you, so that you could write up a contract, so that he can sign it one of the days this week."

"Craig my moving here is months away still, I have to finish school and all, you know that." John Paul tells me and I nod my head and squeeze his hand.

"I know, but for after you come, cause you'll come as soon as school ends, right? Then we can have some holiday together and then you can start here same week as we're from the holiday, yeah?"

He chuckles and nods his head, "Yeah I'll move as soon as I am finished with this term at school," I smile then, and turn to look at Ben.

"Mid-August good for you?" I ask him moments before he chuckles and shakes his head.

"You're one of a kind Craig, you really are," he looks from me to John Paul, then holds out his hand to my boyfriend, "Mid-August it is then," I look at John Paul and smile as he shakes Ben's hand.

"Sounds good to me," John Paul smiles, "You got time to talk about it now, or should we come back another day?"

"We can talk now, then I can draw up the contract in the next couple of days and… When are you working this week Craig?" He looks at me.

"Thursday to Saturday."

"Right, then you can look at it Thursday, and if there are no alterations, or anything you disagree with then we can sign you on there."

"Sounds good," John Paul smiles and Ben nods his head, telling us to follow him, so we do, we go to his office and we talk about which nights he wants John Paul to work, turns out he wants to give him the Friday and Saturday night spots, which is huge, those are the nights we usually have the most customers, seems that Ant would be leaving us soon as he'd been offered a good job in Spain and well I suppose it was a blessing in the sky that he got that job there. We sort most of the practical things, like salary and work hours, breaks and all that as we sit there.

Ben is one of the good guys, he looks out after the people who work for him, there's never been a situation where he'd blamed anyone for his own mistakes, he was just one of the guys at work, just he was also our boss, nothing more and nothing less.

This club he'd had for a couple of years now, and it was a success. I was lucky to work there to be honest, he'd more or less offered me the job one day as he was at the pub where Jack had helped get me a job, we had been two people working that day and the other guy got sick, deserted me with a full pub to look after. How I managed I don't know, but Ben had been there that day. He'd watched me do my job all alone for two hours, as him and his mates had been out on a night of fun, and he'd seen how I'd handled myself in that rather stressful situation. He'd returned the next day and seen me, and well gave me his card, told me he had been impressed with what he'd seen the previous night and that he'd like me to work at his club.

Naturally I had been apprehensive at first, this stranger was telling me he had kept an eye on me for two hours, but I had checked out the club when I'd gotten home, had looked Ben up too, and I was impressed. He had what I wanted by the time I was thirty, and was on his way to be a millionaire, one of the people to watch, he had been described as in the articles I'd found, and I'd figured if this bloke saw some potential in me then it would be a good idea to work for him. I'd probably learn more from him than from the manager at the pub anyways, so I called him the next day and he told me to come in for a trial run that night, which I did and I've been working there ever since. Best part was that the salary was so good that I only had to work two or three nights each week and have enough money to pay all my bills and still have enough for myself and to put some away in savings.

Now he wanted my boyfriend to work for him too, and that was just brilliant, cause this will give John Paul the connections he needs to become a superstar DJ, all in all it's great, and for Ben to see potential in both of us is just incredible to say the least.

**Craig**

"That's the job sorted for you then," I tell John Paul as we leave the club, making him smile and nod his head. I can tell he still can't believe it, can't believe the amount of money he'd be paid for working two nights a week. "Warren will be sorry when he loses you and you become a superstar, he'll kick himself that he didn't pay you decent wages, cause you'll draw in huge crowds and that'll bring in loads of cash for the club…" I nod to myself, "Whoever will replace you at the Loft won't ever cut it, they'll all suck." I carry one with a smirk making him chuckle.

"It is amazing this job," he agrees with me, "I'd be able to help out back home too, for a bit at least," I nod my head as he says this, he's told me about the social welfare thing and the probable fine that Myra would be getting. I know they are all trying to help their mum with bills and such now, all chipping in with what they can and it just makes me love him even more that he cares that much for his family. I know loads of people who wouldn't bother at all, would just say fuck it, I've moved, let them deal with their own problems, but not the McQueens, they're a close knit family.

"It's your money to do with what you want," I tell him as I kiss his cheek, "Now come on, I don't like the look of those clouds," I point to the sky and after looking up he agrees with me. Hurrying up, we get home about ten minutes later, thankful that it didn't start raining.

"Stick the kettle on, will ya?" I ask as we get home and he heads to the kitchen as I dash up to the bathroom.

"John Paul," I call out as I begin to go down the stairs again, he pops his head out the kitchen door and looks at me, "Should we make you a key for the house now, or later?"

He chuckles and shakes his head as he goes back into the kitchen, I follow him out there, sit down at the table and watch him pour milk in our mugs, then add sugar to mine. He carries the mugs over to the table, sitting down opposite me with a smile on his lips. "Sweetheart, there's no rush, we don't need to get everything sorted for me now, let's just do things on each visit, so that when I move here everything is set and I can just slip into my new life with you, without having to worry about things."

I grin sheepishly and nod my head as I grip his hand giving it a light squeeze, "I'm just excited," I bite my lip and shrug innocently.

"I know you are sweetheart, and it'd be great if we got everything set this week, but we can't, we'd end up forgetting something anyways, so it's better to just do a little bit on every visit, cause that way we can think about what needs to be sorted when we're not together, and then sort it when we are together." He tells me and it makes sense, he's right, I know this and he knows this.

"Right, well then key for you to be made on the next visit, and we already sorted out the job thing and the housing thing for you on this trip," I smile before continuing, "suppose we're done, we can just relax and enjoy ourselves?"

"Suppose so," he agrees, "But you forgot something else that we got sorted on this trip," he tells me and I frown then look questioningly at him as I can't seem to recall what I forgot, "Us…" he says simply, "We got us back, we're an us now." He looks lovingly at me and my heart just beats that little bit faster, I bite my lip again and nod my head.

"Yeah, we got us back," I repeat his words as I look into his eyes and I can see all his love for me shining in those ocean blue pools, a love that I am sure he can see mirrored in my eyes as he gazes into them.

How long we sit like that just looking into each other's eyes, I am not exactly sure of, but we are snapped out of our little moment by the arrival of Rich and Rae in the kitchen, Rich doesn't say anything, doesn't even look at us, Rae smiles and I can tell from one look into her eyes that she's taking care of Rich still, I smile and sip my tea, nearly spitting it out again, it had gone cold, really cold. "Eugh, that's rather vile," I tell John Paul as I swallow the cold drink.

He raises an eyebrow, looking rather amused, "I think that's the first time you've said that about one of my cups of tea," he chuckles as he takes the mug from me. He carries our mugs over to the sink, pouring the tea out and rinsing them, before placing them in the dishwasher. My eyes are on him throughout this, I am sure I let out some sort of groan when he bends down and the skin of his back is exposed, at least judging by the looks I get from Rae and him. I grin sheepishly and bite my lip as he walks back over to me. "Come on then, we can keep warm in another way," he winks teasingly as he takes a hold of my hand, pulling me up with him. I giggle at this, ignoring the sigh from Rich, and drag John Paul out of the kitchen with me.

We practically run up the stairs, and it's not long after we get into the room that we are naked under the covers warming each other up with kisses and strokes and grinding of our hardening cocks. He makes me come like that and moments later he comes too, covering my belly and cock with his juices, them blending with mine from moments before. We fall back to just kissing again, small soft pecks, long lingering kisses, full on snogs, anything really, and it's not long till we're both hard again. "Oh, I got something," I remember, and push him gently off of me as I get out of bed and go get my bag, I root through it until I get the item I've bought. Dropping the bag onto the floor, I jump into bed again facing John Paul and hand him the bottle, making him chuckle. "About time we got some lube eh?"

"Yeah," he agrees as he flips the lid and squeezes some of the liquid onto his fingers, rubbing his fingers together he warms it up and then reaches behind me. I gasp as he breaches me and then relax as he prepares me for his cock, he is so tender, so careful, so loving that it just makes me want to weep, I know, I just know he'll never hurt me, I know he'll always protect me and will always be there for me when I need him.

I see stars before my eyes as he brushes over my prostate and whimper when he extracts his fingers, but his smile reassures me that he is only going to get himself ready and then he'll be back to pleasuring me.

I watch mesmerized as he applies lube to his cock and lie down on my back, ready to lift my legs when he tells me to get on my side, as I do, he hoists my leg up and positions himself behind me, I groan when he pushes himself in, in one solid thrust and look back at him, he kisses me then and begins to slowly fuck me, picking up the pace as I moan and whimper and groan. "On your front," he instructs after a while, and then as I get on my front, he really lets go and fucks me harder and harder and harder. He fucks me so hard that I have to bury my head in the pillow to muffle my cries of ecstasy as he repeatedly brushed over my prostate. I end up coming on the sheets, at the same time as he comes inside of me while calling out my name.

Cuddling up next to him afterwards I pepper his face with soft kisses, "I love you so much," I whisper in his ear as he holds me close to him.

"Love you too sweetheart," I smile and watch him as he dozes off, before I too close my eyes and let sleep sweep over me.

**That's all for now. I hope you enjoyed.**

**Thanks for reading. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**John Paul**

This week really went by fast, I can't believe I'm going back home tomorrow. Craig has been in some sort of mood all day today, moping and saying he doesn't want to go to work. I know he doesn't want me to leave, but he also knows that I have to, I have to go back home and sort things out, see if I can get transferred to a Uni here, quit my job and well everything.

"Hey," I look at him as he comes down the stairs and into the living room, having finished getting dressed, he looks at me and smiles sadly before sitting down next to me.

"I wish I didn't have to work today," he sighs and I nod my head with a smile.

"We still have tonight after we get home and most of the day tomorrow too, and it won't be long before I come out for my next visit." I hug him and kiss his cheek, "It's only a couple of months Craig, and then we'll be together all the time."

"Just a couple of months," he sighs and kisses me on the lips, "I don't like it, but I'll just have to settle for it, I suppose."

"Not long and with all my visits, well it'll feel like it's even shorter than a couple of months."

He nods his head thoughtfully and holds me tightly. This past week had been amazing, we'd just spent time together like we never did before, we talked, we laughed, we went out, we went on dates, we went clubbing, he got so drunk that night that we ended up sitting huddled together in the bathroom for an hour after we got home, because he was sick. I took care of him that night and he was so embarrassed the following day, but he needn't be, cause that's what I'm there for, that's what being in a relationship is about, to take care of each other, his face when I told him that, he was just so happy and it made me happy too.

Rich was no issue at all for us, after a couple of days he went to be with his girlfriend and we haven't seen or heard from him since, which is just as well, cause I think with the amount of sex Craig and I have had, it was perfectly clear to him and everyone else in that house that we are meant to be together, that I am the only one who can fuck Craig and the only one who can make him scream like that, and come like that.

I'd gotten the job thing sorted, more or less I'd begin the week after the regular DJ stopped and moved to Spain to pursue his career there, Craig had decided that we'd go on holiday together after I moved to Dublin and then we'd start working together the same day, we even made plans with Ben about that and he'd agreed to have my first day on the job be the same day as Craig got back after our holiday.

He has to work today, so Rae, Joe and Kate are coming out with us so that we at least can have a night out while he works and so that we can walk him home too afterwards. Right on cue the three people come into the room and we get up, and it's not long till we're out on the street heading for the club. This time when we get there it's after opening hours, but Craig leads us to the staff entrance to avoid the queue. We enter and deposit our clothes in the staff room, before being guided to the club by him, he kisses me gently and then heads off behind the bar, as we move over to an empty booth that Kate spotted.

It was a rather enjoyable night with my new friends, we didn't see much of Craig though, the bar was swamped so no wonder really, but the four of us had a really good time, I'd gotten to know these people a little bit on this visit, had private conversations with each and every one of them, they all seemed interested in getting to know me better, though I feel like Rae already knows me, since Craig has told her everything about me and us in general, I already feel close to her.

Joe is sort of like the straight version of Craig, almost the same humor and just a great guy to hang out with and watch football or anything sports related, we even have the same taste in music, which is, well nice, since Craig doesn't have the same taste as me and is always going on about some commercialized pop tune that I can't stand, bless him for trying though, and I'll have him listening to proper music sooner or later, I've decided to make that to be my first project with Craig. He can still listen to all his trash but I'd like him to know some of the music I am really into, and I mean really know it, just like I know who his favorite artists are, I want him to know this about me too.

But no, Joe, he knows what good music is, and we'd had some rather good conversations, and even made some plans to go see some bands play when they come to Dublin, something Craig had grumbled about, wondering why I was making dates with Joe, which had made Joe uncomfortable and me sort of proud of my jealous little boyfriend, so I told him he could come too, we'd make a lads night out of it. Joe and Kate had been filled in on the Rich situation by Rae so he didn't suggest us bringing him with us.

Kate I instantly liked, there is just something about her that tells me she'll be a lifelong mate, sort of like Hannah, I feel like I can trust her, and I rarely do that with people, you learn that as a McQueen, don't trust people, you'll end up getting hurt. But sometimes there are some people who are trustworthy and she's one of them, at least that's my gut feeling about her.

She'd been really great about the entire Rich thing, had gone with Rae to talk to him one of the days before he went off back to his girlfriends, it was rather evident that she didn't want him to be hurting, but knew that there wasn't really anything she could do to take away his pain, but hey that's life for you. I know how it feels like to be in love with Craig and him being oblivious to it. I know how it is to be in love with him and him beating me up because of it. I know how it is to be in love with him and being treated like dirt by him, being played until I snapped, and I know how it is to be in love with him and have him be in love with me, have him want me, want to be out and about with me. I know all this and I know I'd be as heartbroken as Rich is right now, if Craig had never shown any interest in being anything other than my mate. It would have slowly destroyed me and I am pretty sure I'd have lost touch with him had he gone to Dublin with Sarah last year. I can't just be his mate, not when I am so in love with him.

I know it'll be somewhat the same for Rich, unless he actually tries it on with Craig, but I plan on having the guys look out for any signs of that, and talk him out of it if he is foolish enough to try and go after Craig. I trust Craig with my life, and I know he won't ever do anything to betray my trust, but when he's drunk, and I mean really wasted, he does lose control and can be touchy feely, and well if he's out with Rich, I am not sure Rich will back down, not when he is in love with Craig, not when he wants him.

Yeah I'll talk to the girls tomorrow in the morning and just ask them to look out for Craig while I'm gone, I know Rae will, regardless of me asking her or not, but it's good to ask anyways I figure, and I think Kate will be up for it too.

Rae is the one I've got the best relationship with of Craig's mates, since well she knows me already, she told me during one of our chats that Craig had told her so much about me when he first opened up that she was a tad bit sick of hearing about me, and he'd told her loads, practically everything he knew about me. I sensed that she was rather protective of him, not wanting him to get hurt again. In a way, she is a combination of Jacqui and Carmel, at least that's who she reminds me of, not that she is intimidating or anything, but just rather protective of someone she cares about and at the same time really loving and caring.

I smile as my cheek is kissed by my boyfriend and turn my head to kiss him on the lips as he wraps his arms around me nuzzling into my neck, to the accompanying awws from the girls, and the roll of the eyes from both me, Craig and Joe too, I notice as I look over at him, our eyes connect for a moment and we both chuckle. "Can I see you for a minute," Craig asks in a whisper, I nod my head, getting up and following him, he walks through the bar area, and to the back rooms. I simply follow him and the next thing I know is I'm being pressed up against the door in the staff room, his lips covering mine in a kiss that takes my breath away. "God, I've wanted to do that all night," he tells me as he pulls back, making me blush and look down at the floor.

"I missed you," looking up I smile when he smiles at what I just said, "I'll miss you when I go back home, but I'll be back soon and I won't let you forget me, I'll text and email and phone and IM you so much these two weeks that you'll tell me to tone it down… a bit anyways."

"Never going to happen, I just want you to be here all the time, I'll miss you so much, but I'll know, I'll know in the back of my head that you'll be back with me soon, and afterwards you'll be here permanently and that will make the pain in my chest ease a tad bit. Cause, being without you for a bit I think I can live with, but being without you for the rest of my life, I can't, I won't… Never." He looks into my eyes, and I can tell he's pleading with me to believe his words, to trust him, and I do, I really do.

"I love you Craig,"

"I love you too John Paul," I let him pull me into his arms, and hug him back just as tightly, breathing in deeply, savoring the smell of him, the feel of him, he's mine, and I'm his and no one and nothing will ever change that.

"I'm thirsty," I tell him after a while as I pull back and look into his eyes, he smiles, nods and then stepping back slightly, he reaches for the handle to take us out to the bar again. I grab his hand though, and push him up against the door, covering his mouth with mine, kissing him deeply, my tongue plundering his mouth and him submitting to me, letting me do what I want, letting me kiss him. "I'm really thirsty Craig," I tell him as I pull back and before he says anything, my hand unbuttons his jeans and delves inside his boxers to play with his semi hard cock, he gasps at this and looks at me, but I just smile as I slowly begin to stroke his cock. It isn't long till he is rock hard and moaning softly. "I'm thirsty Craig, you think I can get a drink?" I wonder as I stop stroking his shaft and look into his eyes, he licks his lips and nods slowly.

I instantly drop to my knees and swallow his cock, making him cry out and then bite down on his arm which he uses to muffle his cries with. I ease his pants and boxers down so that they are around his thighs and drop his cock from my lips momentarily to wet some fingers before taking him into my mouth again. I reach my hand behind him, and play with his hole, before breaching him. My fingers almost instantly find their target and as I begin pushing against his prostate while sucking his cock I feel him shudder and hear him moan. I keep up my double assault on his body for a few more minutes and then he comes, he comes hard, groaning into his arm, shooting four rapid bursts of his milky cum down my throat. I drink it all up, and keep sucking on his cock until he is spent. Sitting back on my heels, I remove my fingers from deep inside of him, and pull his boxers and jeans back up, making sure to do up the button and zip. Then I look up at him with a smile on my lips.

"That was…" he begins as he looks at me, I nod and get to my feet, adjusting my own throbbing erection, he looks down and reaches out, undoubtedly wanting to return the favor, but I step back, away from him and go over to the sofa. As I sit down I notice the frown and the slight hurt expression on his face.

"That was a good drink," I chuckle as I hold out my hand for him, "and later tonight, I am going to show you my gratitude," I whisper in his ear as I pull him down to sit with me, "But now's not the time, and I think your break might be over soon,"

"I can't leave you like that," he gives my cock a squeeze through the denim, making me groan, and slap his hand away.

"Yes you can, I can adjust it somehow so no one will notice,"

"I'll walk you over to the booth, just stay behind me. I'll make it as though I've gone to collect a drinks order from you guys," Craig smiles as he gets up and holds out his hand for me, I grab it and get up, then rearrange my cock so that it is less obvious that I am hard, and he just looks at me while I do this, licking his lips, probably imagining how it is to have my full member in his mouth.

"When we get home Craig, you can do whatever you want, I'm not planning on sleeping that much tonight," I wink at him and he nods his head before stepping forward to kiss me lovingly on the lips.

"You ready?" he asks as he steps back and I look down at myself, then nod, he looks too, bites his lip, then reaches out a hand and just strokes the length of my shaft once making me shudder, "Okay, ready too," he grins wickedly and walks us out of the room. Just before we reach the main club area, we let go of the hand we're holding, and I walk closely behind him back to the booth, dropping down in my seat again. "You guys set for drinks?" Craig asks the others and we place an order of beer with him, before he pecks me on the cheek and goes back to get our order. When he's been to our booth again with the drinks, he goes back behind the bar and stays there for the remainder of the night.

"Everything okay?" I turn from looking at Craig and smile at Joe, "Only you were gone for 20 minutes, we were wondering if something was up?"

We'd been away for 20 minutes? Wow, well I suppose we lost track of time for a bit, I shake my head as I look at each person sat with me, "Nothing was up, we just…" I bite my lip and smile, "We were just being a bit sentimental about me going back home tomorrow, just needed a bit of time alone to just you know, be a couple," I sigh as I look over at Craig again at the same time as he looks over at me, he smiles shyly and waves, then goes back to work. "I just wish he didn't have to work today," I sigh again as I smile and look at our friends, "I suppose it's this not wanting to say good bye thing, but knowing that we have to, at least for a couple of weeks," I shake my head, "We just needed some us time."

"Oh okay," Kate nods her head in understanding, then looks lovingly at Joe, kissing him tenderly on the cheek. As she does that Rae grips my hand and gives it a squeeze, making me look at her and smile.

For the rest of the night we don't bring up the subject of me going back home up again, we just enjoy our night out, we laugh, and drink and dance, and just act our age, I can feel Craig's eyes on me for most of the night, and whenever I look over at him he's in one way or the other looking at me, be it as he's serving a customer or if he's just wiping down the bar, anything really, and each time I tell him I love him with my eyes and he returns the sentiment with his eyes and a smile or blows me a kiss, which I return.

**Craig**

"Seems like it was a good night at the bar tonight," John Paul tells me as we're curled up in bed together, him having just made love to me, I nod my head from where it's resting on his chest, "You made loads of tips, didn't you?"

I look up and smile as I once more nod my head, "It doesn't hurt to look good when you work the bar, girls love it, and they flirt like crazy and leave insane tips."

"Well as long as they keep it to flirting and flirting only."

"I wouldn't go with them," I raise myself up and look at him, "I swear, I haven't ever and I won't ever, I've got you, I won't ever mess up again."

"I know, I wasn't having a go, just saying you know." He smiles reassuringly as he kisses my hand, "Someone as beautiful as you is bound to attract people, and I don't mind that, I'm actually pleased that my boyfriend is someone that turns heads, that others can see what I see," he tells me as I rest my head back down on his chest. I feel myself blushing at his words, "I mean why shouldn't they flirt with you, eh?" I chuckle, "But I guess I'm wondering if they keep it to just flirting, or if they try it on with you guys?"

I kiss his chest before replying, "Depends on the guy really," I begin, "Like with me, when they flirt, I flirt back cause I know that's what they want, and basically that's part of my job, you know, return the smile or wink while I serve them, and most of the time that's all it takes and they leave a rather good tip," I look up at him and he nods for me to continue, "Naturally there are those of them who are persistent, but you tell them you're in a relationship and they back off, or move on to the next guy, whichever mood they're in really."

"So you tell them you're in a relationship?" he wonders and I nod my head.

"But… even before we got together?" I nod my head once more, "Craig, if you slept with someone from the club, I won't mind, I won't get angry or anything,"

"I haven't, not once," I tell him as I interrupt him.

"But… why not?" I frown at this and he can tell I'm confused so he continues, "I mean, you were free to do whatever you wanted, why not just… I dunno, go for it?"

"Cause it would've been wrong and made me feel horrible," I shrug, "I only wanted you, I was pining for you, so even when I flirted back I just did enough to get the tips, you know." I sigh as I look at him, "I've only wanted you, I wanted you to show up at the club, flirt with me and then go back home with me, to make love to me, to kiss me, to hold me… I just wanted you to be mine again."

"Really?"

"Yeah really," I chuckle and shake my head, "John Paul, I only want you, I only need you, and now I have you, now I won't let go ever again."

"I won't let go ever again, either," he whispers as he pulls me closer to him, and kisses my forehead, "Do the others sleep with the girls?"

I chuckle at this and nod my head, "Yeah, some of them do," I sigh, "Some of them have this competition going as to who beds the most girls in a week, or a month or something, they've tried to get me along, but.." I shrug, "I wasn't interested and they let it go after a while, and well now they know I'm in a relationship, so there's no need to ask me to join them once more, is there now?"

"Suppose not," he sighs, "You don't miss it though?"

"What?"

"Sleeping with girls and all that, I mean… Am I enough for you?"

I sit up and look at him, "John Paul, you know I slept with some girls in Dublin," he nods his head, "You also know how wrong I felt after having done that," another nod, "I don't miss it, because all I was missing was you. I was missing the person I love, the person I lost my heart to, the person who broke my heart and the person who healed it again by showing up on my door a little over a week ago, the same person who is now my boyfriend, again. The same person, who will soon be living here with me permanently, the beautiful blond and blue eyed boy who is now in my bed asking me all sorts of silly questions he already knows the answers to." I chuckle as he blushes. "I love you John Paul, you and only you. There won't ever be anyone else. You have my heart, it's yours to do with what you want, and I trust you, I know I can trust you, to keep it safe, to not break it, to guard it with your life, because I'd do the same with yours."

"You already have my heart Craig, and I know you'd keep it safe, I trust and love you sweetheart."

"I know you do, and any other questions you might have, well in one way or the other the answer will involve you, so just don't worry about things, and enjoy what we have, enjoy the idea of you coming to live here with me and us building our lives together, building a future together. You're it for me John Paul; I can't love anyone as much as I love you."

"You're it for me too sweetheart, and I'm sorry, I guess all this stuff with me leaving has got me a bit worried of what might happen when I'm away."

"The only thing that will happen is that I'll miss you terribly, and annoy the hell out of you with all my phone calls and texts and mails and IM's, I won't go looking for anything with anyone else, I'm with you and that's how it will be."

"I love you,"

"Love you too John Paul," I tell him, then kiss him deeply.

We don't say anything for a while afterwards, we just hold each other and share kisses and looks, and both feel loved, I have him make love to me again, passionately, tenderly and lovingly, which he does and I have him fuck me hard which he also does, he makes me come by sucking me and by jerking me off, and he even has me fuck him, which I do and make him come without having touched his cock at all, I suck him off too and we go back to just kissing and holding each other.

It's about 6am when he drifts off and I soon follow him to the land of sleep, luckily his flight isn't till in the evening so it still gives us some time together when we wake up.

**Thanks for reading.**


	12. Chapter 12

**John Paul**

I don't want to go home, that's the thought in my head the moment I open my eyes and look at the sleeping form of Craig nestling close to me, holding me tight. I don't want to leave him, I want to be with him all the time, and if I had any doubts about moving here before this moment, they are all gone now. I know my place is with him, wherever he goes I'll follow.

He's so beautiful when he sleeps, well he's beautiful all the time, but especially now. With my finger I gently trace a line from his eyebrows down to his chin, up to his lips and then I cup his face with my hand, lean in and place a feather light kiss on them. He sighs in his sleep and whimpers when I pull back slightly which just makes me smile, even in his sleep he misses the touch of my lips.

I set my eyes on his eyelashes and gently brush my thumb over them as they are fanned out on his cheek, he really does have long thick eyelashes, but he's so perfect and they are perfect too, they frame his beautiful eyes perfectly. The eyes that I only need to look into once to know that he loves me and wants this, wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. It still amazes me that he didn't get over me that he didn't get back to being with girls that he pined for me all these months.

I'd really thought he'd moved on, I'd even told him as much during one of our conversations, told him what Jake had told me that day in the Drive'n'buy but he'd just shook his head at that, gripped my hand and looking into my eyes he swore to me that he hadn't done anything like that for the first two months, and when he did afterwards he'd always felt wrong. I knew he was telling me the truth, I felt it in my heart and I could see it in his eyes, and I thanked him for telling me, because despite me walking away, hearing that from Jake it had hurt, it had hurt me badly, to think that he'd moved on from me so quick. But he hadn't and he kept repeating that which just made me tell him to shut up, before kissing him.

I know he only has eyes for me now, and I only have eyes for him, for me he's all I've ever wanted, all I ever needed, he's my first love and he's my last love, I'm the happiest I've ever been, and it's all thanks to him.

We needed the time apart, we both know that, we both needed to find ourselves, find out whom and what we really wanted, and we both know it now, and we both know that we want each other. I can't help but smile as Craig says my name in his sleep and then grips me tighter around the hip where his arm is resting. I shuffle closer to him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and just watch him as he sleeps, imprinting all his facial features in my head for the upcoming days and weeks until I am back here with him again.

He looks so much the same and yet still so different, he's more secure in his own skin now, gone are the fears that held him back before, the insecurities are still there so is the self doubt, but it's not as prominent as before, he goes after what he wants now. He's grown a lot these months that we've been apart, he's still my Craig, but more, well more sure of himself, more the type of person who knows what it is he wants in life now and isn't afraid to go get it. His physical appearance is the same as always, he can still eat all the junk and look so thin without having to work out, the only real change is the stubble on his face and the way he styles his hair now, but to me he looks just as gorgeous as before, I love him just as much as before, if not more.

I press a kiss to his lips and this time he stirs and I watch as he opens his eyes and sleepily looks at me for a moment before his face breaks out into a delightful smile, "Morning sweetheart," I whisper to him as I kiss him again.

"Morning," he bites his lip and just looks at me, then raises his hand to stroke through my hair making me sigh happily, "I don't want you to go home," he says after a while and I smile sadly before pulling him closer to me, pressing my lips to his.

"I don't want to go home," I look into his eyes, "I have to, but I don't want to, I want to stay here with you."

"Soon you will come back and then never go back," he sighs sadly and I nod my head, because that will happen really soon and nothing will keep us apart after that.

"Yeah, really soon," I nod my head again and smile sadly, "Really soon we'll be able to wake up and go to bed together all the time, and never have to say good bye again."

"Mmm, I like the sound of that," cupping my face he pulls me closer to him, kissing me deeply, desperately as if for the last time. It's as if he wants to remember how I taste, how I feel in his hands, and I mirror what he is doing, cupping his face and rolling on top of him, loving that his tongue is in my mouth as I am on top of him, gently grinding my hips onto his groin. It doesn't take long for us both to go hard and he pulls back slightly to look into my eyes, he doesn't need to ask though, because I know what he wants, and I am more than happy to give him what he needs.

"I love you so much," he tells me after I've made love to him and have my head resting on his chest.

"I love you too sweetheart," I smile as I look up at him, I can tell that he is already down, undoubtedly thinking about me going home, but we have hours before I have to be at the airport and I don't want him to be in a mood, "Okay, come on, let's go shower, then you can help me pack my bag and then we can cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie or something," I get out of the bed and find the dressing gowns, tossing him his as I put on the other one.

"Can't we just stay here," he groans as I close the gown and look at him.

"If you want we can, but I won't ever get home if we stay in bed all day…" I see his face light up at this and chuckle, "And as appealing as that is, and as much as I want to stay here, I have to go home, I have to sort out stuff, see if I can get a transfer to Dublin, I have to sweetheart, you understand don't you?"

He makes a disgruntled noise before nodding his head with a pout on his lips, he looks so adorable that I just have to lean in and kiss him. "Shower it is then," he sighs as he pulls back and puts the dressing gown on, I walk over to my bag, take out my clothes and toiletries then wait for him as he finds his stuff in the closet, then we go to the bathroom.

For once we actually just shower and get dressed. Craig takes our things up to the room, and as he comes down I grip his hand walking us downstairs. We're the only ones up and glancing at the clock I see it's only 11am, so we'd not slept much, but neither one of us was tired. "Tea?" I ask and then fill the kettle and flick the switch as he nods, I set up our mugs with him clinging to me, arm wrapped around my waist, chin resting on my shoulder. "You want anything to eat sweetheart?"

"No," he sighs, making me chuckle slightly, then turn and take him in my arms, I smile as I look at him, "You're so beautiful, you know that?" he blushes at this but I just repeat my words and kiss him lightly, "I want you to start making plans for our vacation, keep yourself busy so that you don't miss me too much, yeah?" he bites his lip and nods slowly, "Then we can talk about it when I get back here in a couple of weeks, and only then, okay?"

"Why?"

"Just because it's more exciting that way, I'll have you and a nice surprise to come back for, you being the most important reason for me to come back, and the vacation bit well let's call it an added treat, eh?"

"Okay," he looks at me with a grin, "But I won't think about it until after you text me that you've gotten back there safe and sound."

"It's a deal then, now… Tea." I chuckle and turn, to take out the tea bags and throw them in the garbage bin, "Come on, let's go back up to the room, we can have these while I pack my bag," Craig actually groans at this but doesn't say anything, takes the mug I'm holding out for him and grips my empty hand, then walks us back up to his room.

It doesn't really take me that long to pack my things, I hadn't packed much, hadn't really thought he'd want me to stay after I'd talked to him about the Kieron thing, but yeah I sort of ran out of clothes rather quick after we got back together and I've been using his ever since. I did do my washing the other day though so now I have my own clothes to wear back home.

Finishing our tea we lie down on the bed again and just cuddle, "It doesn't feel like I'm going to go back home," I whisper quietly, "It just feels like I'm going on a vacation or something like that," I look at him and smile, "Home is where you are Craig."

His smile at that moment could've lit up everything, "Yeah? Really?"

I nod my head then brush a kiss to his lips, "Yeah, I'm not going home, I'm leaving home, that's what it feels like anyways and…" I don't get to finish as he springs out of bed heading for the desk, "Craig?" I look at him questioningly, but he just grins as he picks up his laptop and then returns to my side.

"You said two weeks time, yeah?" he wonders and I nod my head, "Okay, well let's book you the flight then," I chuckle as he looks up the available flights and about 10 minutes later he's bought me my ticket for the next visit, "There, all set, it'll be sent to you in a couple of days," I nod my head and kiss him after he's placed the laptop on the floor.

"Maybe after my next visit you could come visit me, that way you could take some of my stuff back home with you," I suggest and I can see the hesitation in his eyes, "You can see Steph and Hannah and if you're not comfortable with going out or anything then they can come round to ours," I look pleadingly at him, "Please Craig, I know I'm moving to Dublin, but it'll mean the world to me to be able to walk through that village with your hand in mine, to show people that we made it, that we're okay… Please?" It's clear that he isn't really that comfortable with the idea of going back to Hollyoaks, and in a way I do understand him, but it means so much to me, I just want to be able to show all the people that we are together and that whatever they think of me, of us, it doesn't matter one little bit.

"I suppose," he mumbles after a minute or so making me push him down and kiss him until he's breathless, "Wow," he gasps and I nod my head as I kiss him again and again and again as I roll on top of him, somehow we get our clothes off and then I'm inside of him, slowly making love to him as he moans into my mouth while we kiss. "I love you," he tells me as he recovers from his orgasm while resting his head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat.

"I love you too Craig," I kiss the top of his head and wrap my arm tightly around him, holding him closer to me. We stay like that for a while, we can hear the others get up and head downstairs, we can hear the TV and both chuckle as we hear Kate stomp up the stairs shouting at Joe that she doesn't find football to be something romantic to watch together.

Eventually we do get dressed and head back down, Craig clinging to me, practically sitting on top of me as we sit down in the chair in the living room, the others leave us to it, we get the quick hellos and afterwards they don't say anything to us, it's evident to them that Craig in particular just wants to spend as much time as possible with me and I am thankful that they all understand.

At some point Craig heads up to use the bathroom, and I get a moment to talk to the others about the Rich thing, all three of them promise me that they'll look out after Craig, make sure that he's never alone with Rich when he is really drunk, but that they didn't really think that Rich would be around the house that much, and if he was then he'd probably start bringing his girlfriend over. I thanked them all and asked them to not say anything to Craig about it, which they all agreed to.

When he returns from the bathroom, I open up my arms for him and he gladly snuggles down with me on the chair, holding me tightly, and I just think that I really don't want to leave this place. I don't want to leave him. I kiss his head and sigh happily, it is just perfect being with him like this and I don't want to break the moment we're in, but I know that soon I'll have to leave for the airport.

The time flew by too quickly, we'd called a taxi an hour before I had to leave, just to make sure it was there on time and now there were only some minutes left, "Come on sweetheart, let's go get my bag, eh?" I whisper softly into his ear, and he nods his head sadly, we go upstairs and as I grab my bag, he holds my hand and presses a hungry kiss to my lips, then wraps his arms around me hugging me tightly, breathing in deeply.

"I want this," he says as he pulls back and tugs at my yellow and green striped hooded shirt, "I want to have something that smells like you for when I have to sleep without you." I smile at this and feel my heart well up, dropping the bag to the floor, I let him take my top off me, I watch him as he holds it to his face, breathing in deeply, then carefully he puts it on the bed, he then takes off the shirt he's wearing, "Put this on," he holds it out for me and I do, I put it on and let him button up the few buttons for me, "There, now you have something of mine with you too," I nod as he goes to the closet and pulls out a new shirt and puts that one on, "Come here," he wraps his arms around me again and holds me as he kisses my neck. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too sweetheart," I kiss his cheek and then his lips, "But we'll talk every single day, we'll text, everything and I'll be back home, back here with you soon." He nods slowly and watches as I bend to grab my bag.

We go down the stairs and as we reach the front door I see the taxi pull up, we'd agreed that Craig was not to come with me to the airport, I don't think either one of us would've been able to keep our emotions in check if he came. We head outside and are joined by the three others in the house, I say good bye to them and then take Craig in my arms, kissing him and hugging him. "Think about where you want us to go on vacation yeah?" I whisper and feel him nod, "I love you sweetheart, and I'll send a text as soon as I am back in England, yeah?" he nods again, I pull back and kiss him once more.

"I love you too John Paul," he says with a sad smile, I kiss him one last time and then get into the taxi with my bag and close the door, I tell the driver my destination and keep my eyes on Craig as we drive away, I see Rae take his hand as he waves to me and I am so thankful for her being there, because I know he'll cry, I know he'll not keep it together for much longer. I wave for as long as he is visible and then sit back with a sigh.

**John Paul**

"Hi sweetheart, I'm in England now, waiting for my bag, then heading home.. Miss u already JP xxx"

I send the text to Craig, then collect my bag and get on the train that'll take me home, my phone vibrates and I know it's Craig replying.

"Miss u too, good that u got there safe and sound, love u, talk to u soon. C xxx"

I smile and then make a new message, this one for Hannah, telling her I'm back home now and if it'll be okay for me to come round hers to hear about what I missed in school, she replies some minutes later telling me that it's fine and that I should just come over, so I write her telling her I'd just go home drop off my bag and head over to hers.

I get back to the village about an hour later and head home first, I can hear my mother talking and there's laughter and I smile, but I don't feel like I've come back home. I know for sure now that home is with Craig, with that on my mind, I open the door and head inside.

"John Paul," my mother exclaims and gets up from the sofa, hugging me and kissing me, "I've missed you son,"

"Hi mum, I missed you too," I smile and then look around, freezing momentarily when I see Kieron is sat on the sofa, I make some sort of nod towards him and then look at my mum again.

"So come on, sit down, have you eaten, want me to make you something? How was Dublin?" My mum begins her questions and I look over at Jacqui who's in the kitchen and as our eyes lock she smiles as do I.

"Ehm… Well," I begin and look at my mum again, "I've not eaten no, but I'll grab something later, sort of made plans with Hannah, she's going to catch me up on the things I've missed in school." I tell her and she nods, "Dublin is wonderful," I kiss her on the cheek and then look over at Kieron, "Craig is, well, perfect, everything I ever wanted and loads more," Kieron looks away and I turn to look at mum, "But I'll tell you later, gotta go meet up with Hannah, okay?"

"Alright son," my mum smiles and then heads back to the sofa, dropping down next to Kieron, I head upstairs and drop my bag in my room, then grab my school bag and head down again, and after saying bye I go out of the house.

"John Paul," I stop about halfway down the street when Jacqui calls out my name. I wait for her to reach me and as she hooks her arm with mine we walk together, "So you alright then, no problems in Dublin?" I chuckle and look at her, then shake my head.

"Nope, nothing.. I told you Jacq, he's changed, he's not scared or ashamed or anything anymore,"

"Just checking," she smiles and I nod my head knowing that she's only looking out for me because she loves me, "So how awkward was it to get back and have Kieron sat there?"

I shrug, "Dunno, a bit I suppose, but well him and mum are close, he's hardly going to stay away is he now?"

"Suppose not, but you don't think he'll try something with you again do you?"

I snort at this and stop walking, "No chance in hell Jacq, I think I've made it pretty clear that I am in love with Craig, that I want to be with Craig. If he doesn't get that, well then I feel sorry for him, he's not going to get anywhere near me ever again, all of me is Craig's now." I tell my sister and she lifts her eyebrow at the last part, "Well you know what I mean, he's the only one for me and I'm the only one for him."

"It's like that now is it?"

"Yeah Jacq, yeah it is… You'll see for yourself how he is, he'll come down for a visit sometime soon," I smile as I kiss my sister on the cheek, "I have to go, probably missed loads at school, but it was totally worth it, every single minute was worth it…" I smile as I let go of her arm and run the last bit over to where Hannah lives, leaving her stood there grinning.

**John Paul**

"Hey you," Hannah greets me with a smile and pulls me in for a hug as I enter her house, she leads me up to her room and then begins to ask me questions about Dublin and Craig, which just makes me chuckle, and shake my head when she asks what is so funny.

"Nothing, it's just I already more or less had to answer the same questions when mum asked them and then when Jacqui asked them too," I shake my head, "But yeah, we're fine, me and Craig, well more than fine, we're perfect, and he's totally different, he's not ashamed, not afraid, nothing really, he's proud to be with me, proud to hold my hand and to kiss me… I've actually had to ask him to tone it down a bit, so yeah everything is perfect."

She smiles at this, "I'm so happy for you," she tells me and I nod cause I'm happy for me too, "What about Kieron?"

"What about him?"

"Well won't it be weird for you to bump into him and all that?" She wonders and I just shrug.

"Ehm, why should it be? It was just a one off and I'm with Craig now, I never stopped loving Craig. What happened with him was just a mistake, something that we both should've stopped but both failed to stop, so yeah, I've said all I want to say to him about this, and made it perfectly clear that I am with Craig." I shrug once more and she just nods her head accepting this.

"As long as you're happy John Paul, that's all that matters."

"I am, I really am," I tell her and she smiles as she gets up and finds the books.

"Good, now let's take a look at all this, eh?" I chuckle and nod my head, and for the next hour she catches me up on what I've missed, which isn't much really, some reading and a couple of assignments that aren't due for a while anyways, and that's basically it. Looking at the stuff from the other classes I see that it's the same and that I can easily catch up within a couple of days.

"Look, you must be knackered so how about I come round yours tomorrow with my notes and we can do a study group of sorts, eh?"

"That'd be lovely Han," I agree with her, "This day is going to catch up with me soon, I can feel it, and I should call Craig too," I smile as I say his name, "You don't mind coming round tomorrow?"

"Nope, bright an early, we can study all day and then have you caught up, cause most of it, you don't really need to read, you can use my notes and stuff, and same with most of the other classes probably. I've got copies of notes from some people, so we can just go through it and then you can read up on whatever doesn't make sense."

"Sounds like a good plan," I get up and stretch my legs, "Thanks for all this Han, I hadn't planned on staying away for this long, I hadn't even thought he'd want to see me really, but I had to talk to someone, had to talk to my best mate and I'm glad I went. Though I suspect he'd have come back for me soon enough, but you know it's good to know that we've got a future together now."

"That's good, you deserve to be happy, and you should get your prince charming, just like I've got mine." Hannah smiles dreamily making me smile too.

"Oh yeah?" I raise my eyebrow, "You'll have to tell me everything about Danny tomorrow then."

"We'll see school stuff first, relationship gossip afterwards."

"You've got yourself a date then Han." I chuckle as I pick up my bag, and place the notes she's gotten for me in it.

"Yeah, a date." She nods her head in agreement. She walks me down to the door, and with a hug and a kiss to my cheek she says bye, "I'll call you tomorrow and then pop round, yeah?"

"Perfect," I smile before leaving her house and making my way home.

**That's all for this update... More chapters soon... :P **


	13. Chapter 13

**Happy New Year, to all of you.**

**Craig**

I groan as I look through the course work I have to do, it's so boring and it's no fun doing it without him sitting there looking at me, without me knowing there will be a great reward as soon as I finish. Sighing I get up and walk over to the bed. Picking up his hooded shirt I bring it up to my face and inhale the scent of him. God how I miss him and he's only been gone for a couple of hours, how am I supposed to cope for two weeks?

Sighing I place his shirt back on the bed and return to my course work, I've not got much left to do, he made sure that I did most of it the other day, told me he was happy to just sit and read in a book while I did my work and then we could spend all the free time together afterwards. Which we did, when I promised him I'd be able to do the last bits after he'd gone home, and I am trying, well I'm almost done I suppose.

I put all my attention on the work at hand and about thirty minutes later I am done, it's all done. I proof read it, save it in the folder and on the USB key and print out a copy too, just in case something goes wrong.

Looking at the time, I see it's still early, well too early to go to bed, but I really can't be bothered to be social with the guys now. Rae had been great when John Paul left, she took me to my room and let me cry. She knew I was going to miss him as soon as he left, and it is good to have a mate like her, I told her to go do her course work though, as I had to do mine and I didn't want her to be sat here with me all night, so she smiled and had gone downstairs.

I drop down on the bed and snuggle with his shirt, occasionally bringing it up to my face to inhale his scent, to have the smell of him fill up all my senses, that way I, for a little bit, feel like he is still here with me, that it is him I am snuggled up with. I can picture him lying here, smiling, telling me he loves me, kissing me, holding me, just holding me so that I feel loved and safe and warm. I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the ringing of my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi sweetheart,"

"John Paul," I smile as I hear his voice, "I miss you."

"I miss you too," I can hear the sadness in his voice, "But it's not too long till I'm back with you again."

"I know, but I wish you were here with me now," I tell him childishly.

"I wish I was there with you too, but really soon Craig." He sighs and I nod my head as I clutch his shirt tightly in my free hand, "You got your course work done?"

I chuckle and my heart beats that bit faster as I hear that, he's so far away and still he's thinking about my school, "Yeah, just finished it a bit ago, how about you, did you miss much?"

"Ehm, no… not really, just some reading and a couple of assignments that aren't due for a while, so I have some time to get them done in." he tells me, "And good that you finished your work."

"Oh.. And you're sure you've not missed too much?" I suddenly feel guilty for keeping him away from his school for so long.

"It's fine sweetheart, Hannah will come round tomorrow and we'll go through all of it. She's got me notes from the classes that she doesn't have, so I'm all set. I just need to read it through and then do the assignments… I want to have them done before I come out to visit you next time."

"Good then, you get them done so that we have the entire visit next time without interruptions, yeah?"

"I will," he promises me.

"So how's everyone in the McQueen house?"

"Oh great… Mum's been to court while I was away,"

"Oh… and?"

"3000 pound fine…" he sighs, "3000 pounds Craig, luckily she doesn't have to pay it back all at once… I'm going to give her half the money I made from the club last week, it's a start I suppose."

"I suppose it's lucky she only got a fine."

"Yeah I know, but at least it's all done now, just the fine to pay and then it's all alright again."

"Mmh… so what are you doing right now?"

"Just in bed, thought I'd call my gorgeous boyfriend before going to sleep. You?"

"Just in bed too, I was thinking about you, missing you and then you call and I feel slightly better." I tell him honestly and hear his breath hitch.

"Soon Craig, really soon, then we won't be apart anymore." He tells me and I nod my head I know this but still it doesn't help me much now when he is so far away and I am stuck in Dublin. "How are the others?"

"Eh alright I think, haven't left my room since you left, been busy with my school stuff, and now I'm just in bed. I haven't heard any arguments or anything so yeah, suppose everything is alright."

John Paul laughs and I laugh too, "I really miss you Craig," he tells me once we stop laughing, "I got home today and who do you think is sat on the sofa with mum… Kieron…" he sighs and I splutter on my own breath.

"What the fuck was he doing there?"

"I've no idea, I didn't stay to find out. I'd made plans with Hannah to go through the school stuff, so I just talked briefly to mum told her really quick about Dublin and then made sure to look at him when I said I was with you now, that you were perfect, everything I wanted and loads more." I blush at this and am speechless, "Then I went up to my room, got my school bag and left the house, he was gone by the time I got back."

"You're everything I wanted and loads more too John Paul," I tell him quietly. "So he fucked off then or is he still around the village somewhere?"

"Jacq says he's living with Niall now, so still around the village."

"Oh… Well he better stay clear, you're mine."

He chuckles at this, "I think he got the message loud and clear Craig, and if he hasn't then we'll show him when you come out for your visit, yeah?" I bite my lip for a moment, thinking about going back there, but I know I've more or less promised him I'd do it.

"Yeah, yeah we will."

"Still worried about coming back here, eh?" he sensed my hesitation and I chuckle.

"I am yeah… I mean look at what happened last summer, had I faced things back then properly then I wouldn't be bricking it as much, but I left, you know, I sort of just left things and let you take the abuse so to speak and now…"

"Craig I'll be there with you all the time, if anyone has something to say they can say it to us both, I'm not going to let anyone say or do anything to you, you mean the world to me, you know that, don't you?"

"I know, and I know you'll be there with me, it's just… Well you've had all the time to get back in the good books with people, but I've just been away and what if people have unresolved issues with me?"

"Fuck them…"

"What?"

"You heard me, if they have issues with you then that's their problem, not yours, Craig the people you had to talk to, you had to straighten things out with were Sarah, and you did that before you left, you talked to her, you told her you didn't want her. And also in a way me, cause well you couldn't be out in public with me like a proper boyfriend, but you can now, we've got our stuff sorted, so what's left then, eh?"

"Hannah for one, and then my family and…"

"Craig, Hannah is fine, you'll see when you come, and your family, how about we just start with Steph eh, she was on our side back then and is still on our side now. Sweetheart we can tackle any challenge that gets thrown our way as long as we're together, that's all that matters… People can say what they want, they won't make me stop loving you, they can't, no one can do that. And if people are against us being together, are against us being in love then we really don't need to have them in our lives, do we?"

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" he wonders.

"Just say the right things, make me relax, make me feel strong again, how do you do that?"

"I know you and I love you Craig, I know the things you stress about and I know that as long as we're together then everything will be okay, just don't worry about it, I'll see how things are in the village these weeks, I'll see if Steph has talked to your mum… It'll all be alright Craig, okay?"

"Yeah, I trust you remember, and when you come out next time, we'll book my flight to England yeah?"

"Sounds perfect sweetheart," he tells me through a yawn.

"You must be knackered, John Paul, go on, go sleep, I'll text you tomorrow and we can talk in the night, or IM or something, yeah?"

"Yeah it's a date Mr. Dean," he chuckles, "I love you sweetheart, sleep well, night."

"Love you too John Paul," I smile as he yawns again, "Night, mwah." I kiss him through the phone.

"Mwah right back at you," he chuckles, "Night."

I sigh happily, "Night," and then listen to him as he ends the call. I stretch and drop the phone on the bed, on his side of the bed, then get up and get ready to go to sleep.

**John Paul**

The weeks being back were, well, weird to say the least, school wise I got caught up fairly quickly and had the assignments done by the end of the first week, which is amazing, considering the house I live in, and the people I live with, but well they were done and handed in.

The stuff with Hannah's family had take us all by surprise, well all but Michaela, who'd known and had told people but they hadn't believed her, they did now. And Hannah, she'd gotten so upset that she'd gone and made herself sick again.

Mercy was in bits at home. I'd called Han and she'd told me Danny was with her and that she was okay, I needn't worry, well I couldn't exactly stop worrying when my friend who'd had an eating disorder had gone back to making herself sick, but she reassured me it had been a one off and that she was fine, and to focus on Mercy, who she knew would be in bits because of what Rhys and Beth had been doing.

As the family that we are, we all rallied around the one who was hurting and just spent time together like a family, Michaela was off at times to be with Josh who needed a friend and that was alright with all of us, if Mercy was in bits then how must he have felt?

Eventually though Mercy got over it, shook it off and went back to being herself, but I could tell that this was the first bloke after Russ that she'd let herself fall for and that this would be something she'd carry with her for a while.

Mum had been rather reluctant to take my money, but I'd told her it was towards the fine and that it was just some extra money I'd made in Dublin one night and I wanted her to take it and pay off the first two payments now so that she could save up for the next couple of months. The rest of the money I put in the bank, in my savings that was for my future with Craig.

I had yet to tell anyone about my moving to Dublin, but it hadn't exactly been the right time to blurt it out while Mercy was bawling on my shoulder and everyone else was stressing around making her tea and bringing her magazines and such, I'd tell them before I went to see Craig again, I kept telling myself that.

It turned out I couldn't transfer my course to Dublin, something I hadn't exactly told Craig yet, but I knew that I could always get a degree later on in life and that I wanted to focus on the DJ'ing while I was still young, so I'd decided that I'd just work and then let him concentrate on school, I'd take care of the bills as much as he'd let me and then he'd go get the degree, he's the brainy one anyways.

Luckily for me I hadn't had any run ins with Kieron at all, it was something that I didn't have to worry about, I'd talked to Steph a few times and she'd told me Frankie was off on some sort of mood and wasn't talking to her so she didn't really know what sort of reception Craig would get if he came back for a visit, I'd not told her he was coming back, just asked her what she thought the reaction would be, speaking for herself she said she'd be delighted to see him as she really missed him, but their mum well you never knew with her.

I'd gotten loads done that first week back, the second week had been a lazy one, the fall out of the Rhys thing taking up all our attention really, and then it was suddenly the day I was going to Dublin again. I'd packed my bag, really stuffed it with loads of my clothes and other things, this was the day I officially started my moving to Dublin, it had to be done in shifts I suppose, so I just filled the bag with most of the things I needed and then headed off to the airport.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Craig**

I'm so excited, he's coming for a visit this week, and I promised him I'd not be here at the airport waiting for him, but I couldn't resist. I couldn't stay away really. I had to see him as soon as possible. I spot him before he sees me and practically run over to him, only stopping when he sees me, I then slowly walk over to him, noting the delightful surprised expression on his face, "Hi," I say as I reach him and just look into his eyes, then before he manages to answer I cup his face and press a soft kiss to his lips, "I've missed you," I whisper in his ear as I wrap my arms around him and pull him to me, holding him tightly.

"Hi sweetheart," he chuckles as I pull back and take hold of his hand, noting that this time he doesn't seem uncomfortable with it, "I missed you too," he tells me and then kisses my cheek.

I walk us outside to the taxi rank and we get into one, telling the driver the destination, before I settle next to John Paul, resting my head on his shoulder. "How are things in Hollyoaks?"

"Alright, how are things at home?" he wonders and I chuckle.

"Alright I suppose, Kate has begun to stress about the exams though they're a bit away for now, but otherwise everything is fine."

"And how's your school?" I look up at him with a raised eyebrow, making him laugh at his own question, "What, I'm really wondering how you're doing in school?"

"Well good, still top of my classes you know." He nods and kisses me on the lips.

"My boyfriend, the genius,"

"John Paul," I look away and feel my cheeks flush.

"Hey," he makes me look at him, "You are a genius, you're my genius and I am dead proud of you." He tells me as he looks into my eyes and I nod shyly, because I know he's being utterly and completely serious. I return my head to rest on his shoulder and sigh happily.

"I've been counting down the days till you got back, probably had such a face on too, the others will undoubtedly tell you, but I couldn't help it, I really missed you."

"Well I'm here now and it won't be long till I'm here for good," he says me and I as I grip his hand tighter, he kisses my forehead and wraps his free arm around my shoulder, holding me close to him.

We reach the house soon after and I pay the driver, then practically drag John Paul and his bag into the house with me. "Come on then," I start to head up the stairs with his bag, but he chuckles and looks at me, "What you don't want to unpack?"

"Not really no, I want a kiss and a cup of tea," he tells me with a smile and I just chuckle.

"Right, well how about I go put this in the room and then kiss you silly when I get back down, and then you can make me some tea afterwards."

"Oi, I'm the visitor, you should be making me tea." He laughs but I just shrug.

"Yours tastes better, so deal or should I just leave the bag here?"

"Nah go on then. Then I'll have something nice to look at while you walk up these stairs," he says with a teasing wink. I lift my eyebrow and chuckle as I grip his bag tighter and head up the stairs, making sure to go slowly so he has a nice view.

When I come back down he's in the kitchen preparing the mugs for us, "Come here," I wrap my arm around his waist, making him turn and look at me, then I kiss him lovingly on the lips, a kiss with promises of more later on, when we're up in our room. He sighs happily as I pull back and brushes my hair away from my face with a smile, just looking at my face and into my eyes for a while, until the water boils, then he turns and makes us the tea.

We sit down in the living room, in our chair, me on top of him and drink our tea, chit chatting about my work and his work. He's still not quit, but there were some things going on with Warren currently so he'd just wait until all that was sorted, since there was no point in aggravating him now.

"Oh I got you something," I reach into the pocket of my jeans and pull out a key, "Here, your very own key to this place." His face lights up at this and he just looks at me then kisses me tenderly.

"Thank you," he takes the key and carefully puts it into his keychain, "Our home," he sighs and I nod my head, yeah our home, well with some other people living here too, but we have our own room and that's ours and ours alone.

We're still sat together holding each other when the others get home, the girls as per usual when they see us, awed and squealed. Joe and us, we just rolled our eyes and laughed, but it was good to see that they all greeted him and asked him about his school, and were, well, normal with him. I had thought that maybe last time they'd just done it do be nice but there hadn't been any comments in the time he'd been away. I knew I'd get no hassle from Rae, but there was nothing from Joe or Kate either, and they seemed to really be happy to see him here, like he really belonged here too, and he does, he does belong here. Rich, we'd not seen much of him lately, he'd pop by every now and then to get some clothes or spend the night, but otherwise he'd been at his girlfriends house all this time and well that's his choice really, suppose he'll get back to the house once he'll get over his crush on me.

The guys leave us after a while, they all have school tomorrow and have some work to do, while I have everything sorted and am taking these couple of days off to be with John Paul. "Wanna go upstairs now?"

He looks at me then nods his head, getting up I grip his hand and pull him up, then watch as he takes our mugs to the kitchen and places them in the dishwasher. "Come on then," he smiles warmly as he takes hold of my hand again and walks us to the stairs.

In our room, I smile as I think that, our room, it's our room, not mine, our, he sets out to unpack his bag and I help. I've cleared half the closet for him and there's loads of space for his things in the dresser too, it takes us no time to get him unpacked and I sigh happily as I drop down on the bed and look up at him. He frowns for a moment as he spots something, then gets in bed and reaches for it, and I see it's his hooded shirt. "I see this is right where I left it, eh?" I bite my lip and nod sheepishly, "I take it it's been a good replacement then?"

"It has yes, but now it can be tossed over there," I point in some direction, "Cause, I have the real thing right here." As I say this I take the shirt from him and toss it away, he looks at where it lands with a smile on his lips and then looks at me, and I'm gone. I cup his face and close the distance between us by pressing my lips to his in a gentle kiss at first, but then he pushes his tongue against my lips and I part them, letting him into my mouth, letting him kiss me as deeply and as passionately as he wants.

"I've missed doing this," he says as he pulls back slightly and looks lovingly into my eyes. I simply nod, look at his lips and as my hands go in his hair, I lay completely down now and pull his head towards me again, connecting our lips again, wanting him to kiss me forever. We stay like this for a while, him on top of me, rubbing off against me while we kiss, then suddenly he flips us so that I am on top of him and pushes slightly on my shoulders.

I sit up and look questioningly at him, he simply smiles and tugs at my t-shirt, his hands all over my skin the second it has been removed. He pinches my nipples and I moan, he sits up and licks them, bites them and I just groan. He flips us again, going back on top of me again and takes off the rest of my clothes, then undresses himself and then he's back on top of me, rubbing our hard cocks against each other, using our pre-cum as lubricant while he carries on kissing me.

It soon becomes too much for me. I want him inside of me. I need him inside of me, so I pull back from the kiss and reach for the lube on the bedside drawer, handing it to him. I don't need any words he knows what I want; my eyes tell him what I want. He chuckles and takes the bottle from me, squirting some of the liquid onto his fingers and then with one final kiss, he raises my legs up to rest on his shoulder and slowly inserts first one then two and finally three fingers inside of me, filling me up and tenderly preparing me for his cock. He knows my body better than anyone and he quickly finds my prostate making me gasp in delight.

I'm about ready to burst, when he withdraws his fingers and coats his cock with lube, and when he finally begins to push into me, I am on cloud nine. I've gone without any sex for practically two weeks, phone sex just isn't the same, and for him to be doing this to me now, it's just amazing. He makes love to me, slowly and passionately, and it's just wonderful, we move together perfectly. He brushes over my prostate repeatedly, and it's a combination of him being inside of me, him kissing me and his eyes shining with his love for me that brings me over the edge.

I feel my entire body shake, my cock twitches and then my seed shoots from me, covering our bellies and my cock. I feel myself clenching against his cock and with a loud grunt he comes. I feel him shoot his load inside of me, filling me up and I wrap my arms tightly around his back pulling him down once his orgasm has rocketed through him. He slips out of me but stays on top of me until he catches his breath, then he rolls to the side, with me still holding him and I just look into his eyes, we don't need to say anything, our eyes say everything for us. I pull the duvet up, covering us both as he wraps his arms around me, placing a kiss on my lips and then closing his eyes, nestling closer to me.

**John Paul**

"I've got to tell you something sweetheart," I look at Craig as he's sat at the kitchen table waiting for the cup of tea I'm making him, we've had a rather enjoyable day today, just walking around and shopping a bit in Dublin. We ate lunch out and were like any other normal couple in love, doing what they do, though with us, we did tone it down loads, just quick pecks on the cheek or lips, never letting go completely as we've agreed not to be overly affectionate while outside .

Holding hands for a bit and a kiss on the cheek is okay, but holding hands all the time, I'm still not comfortable with that and kissing, proper kissing outside is great and we do that at times, but sadly there are still some people who disapprove and well idiots who target gay people, so to be on the safe side, cause I don't want to lose him and he doesn't want to lose me, so to be on the safe side we tone it down a fair bit, and there's nothing wrong in that.

I know he's ready now to kiss me and touch me out in public and he does, but I also know that that isn't what makes us a couple. I love that he does it, but I don't have to have it all the time, which is what I thought I wanted back in September. I shake my head and look at him again, seeing him sat there looking questioningly at me.

"You were saying?" He chuckles as I shake my head again and bites his lip as he waits for me to speak.

"Oh… Right…" I stutter and give myself a mental slap, "Ehm… I've not told people I'm moving yet," I tell him and bite my lip again, "It's not cause I don't want to, but each time I wanted to say it something happened, like the stuff with Rhys and then we sort of needed to take care of Mercy and it just didn't feel right and…"

"John Paul," I look at him and he's sat there smiling, "It's okay," I raise my eyebrow, making him chuckle, "Look as long as you are still coming here to live with me then it's fine, you can tell them when you are ready, there's no rush." He tells me as he comes over and places a soft kiss on my lips, "Don't worry about it," I nod slowly and smile. "So…" he raises his eyebrows expectantly, making me frown, "Tea, anytime soon would be nice too." He continues then laughs before kissing me on the cheek and going back to sit at the table. I chuckle and nod once more, before pouring the water in the mugs with the teabags; I get the milk and then turn to look at him again.

"There's another thing I should tell you…" I take the teabags out, throw them in the garbage, and pour the milk into the mugs. Adding sugar I stir it into the tea and then carry the mugs over to the table, sitting down opposite Craig.

I take a sip of the tea, he does the same as I continue with what I wanted to tell him. "I've asked about a transfer to Dublin," I start as I look at him and he nods for me to continue, "Seems it can't be done," I shrug and see his face drop at that.

"Oh… So you… You're not coming to live here after all then?" he says sadly and looks away.

"Craig, no…" He looks at me, and the sadness in his eyes claws at my chest, "No, I don't mean no I won't come live here, I mean…" I grip his hand and smile, "Look, I've had some time to think about this and I can always go back and get a degree later on in life, for now..." I squeeze his hand, "I want to just focus on my DJ'ing for now. I'm young and the pay is amazing and well you are the brains of this relationship, you're the one who'll have the businesses, you're the one who needs the degree. I've wanted to be a DJ for as long as I can remember, and I think I can be a proper one with this job I've got here… So it works out perfectly. I can do what I want, and then you can focus more on your school and not have to worry about earning enough to cover the rent, cause, we'll both be working and sharing the rent, yeah?"

He looks at me for a long while, I can tell he wants to say something but keeps changing his mind and I just smile encouragingly and wait patiently. "You're sure about this; you don't think you'll regret it in the future?" He finally asks and I just raise his hand to my lips, placing a soft kiss on it.

"I want this Craig. I want to be here with you. I want this more than I want anything else. Remember back in school, when we got detention that day and you asked what I wanted to be when we finish school?"

He nods and smiles, "You said you wanted to be a DJ," I smile and nod.

"Yeah, and this way I can be a DJ and have all my focus on just that. This is what I want, I think I've done what others expect of me for far too long now. It's time to think about what I want, and I want to try to be the best DJ I can be, and I want to be based in Dublin, where I live with my gorgeous boyfriend who's a business genius."

He chuckles as he gets up and walks over to me, cupping my face and pressing a warm soft kiss to my lips. "I'll support you no matter what you want to do John Paul, I know you want to be the best DJ you can possibly be, and I know you'll be the best one that there ever was." He kisses me again and smiles warmly, "It's funny how right this feels," I look questioningly at him and he continues as he retakes his seat. "I mean, I always figured you'd end up being a superstar DJ, but maybe not this soon, I always thought you'd get your degree first, but I mean as you say you can always get it later if you want…" I nod and smile as he carries on talking, "And I've wanted to do this business degree for a long time too, and…" he pauses and looks lovingly at me, "Well we're both doing what we dreamed off, we're both going for what we want. We're doing it together, no more fear, no more shame, no nothing, just us, two British lads who know what they want in life. Two lads who love each other, and support each other in whatever they choose to do with their life from now on."

"Exactly sweetheart," I get up, walk over to him and kiss him on the lips, "It's time we both did what we wanted. Screw what everyone else thinks, screw what they think is best for us, it's our lives and we can do what we want, when we want it."

"We can do everything we want, together." He says firmly making me nod and smile.

"Yeah, together," I repeat before sitting down on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You know this place is home to me now. When I went back to Hollyoaks the last time, it didn't feel like going back home, it felt like I had just left my home." I rest my forehead against his, "I missed this house and the people living in it, which is strange when you think about it logically, but it just feels like this is where I'm meant to be." I sigh happily and look into his eyes, "I mean yeah saying bye to Hollyoaks and some people will be difficult, but there are full good replacements of all those people here."

"I've yet to encounter six women that can even come close to being good replacements of your lot," he chuckles and makes me laugh. "You'll be okay with not seeing them every single day, not being able to get a hug from your mum whenever you want one?"

"I've got you sweetheart. My mum's hugs are great, but I have you now. You are the one who will take care of me and love me now, just like I am the one who will take care of and love you now. I'll always have my mum and my sisters and you'll always have your family, they'll always be there for us. But it is part of growing up, part of being in a relationship, to let your partner take care of you when you need it."

He smiles and kisses me, which I gladly return and we lose ourselves in this moment and just enjoy being able to sit together like this and just kiss because we can, because we are in love and together, because we belong together.

"We have each other," he whispers quietly as I hug him and I nod my head in agreement, because we do, we have each other and that's amazing. Just a month ago I didn't think I'd ever see him again and now we're back together, and we're stronger than we've ever been.

"No matter what happens Craig, we'll always have each other."

He nods and kisses my cheek as he holds me tightly, we don't say anything else, we just sit there holding each other, both feeling loved and cherished and both knowing that we're sat with our soul mate, cause that's what he is to me. He is my soul mate, he is the one person I am meant to be with for the rest of my life, and if everything goes well then I will be with him for the rest of my life. I'm not letting anything or anyone ruin this for us this time round.

**Craig**

"I've more or less decided where I want us to go on our holiday," I tell John Paul as we're led together in bed just holding each other. We're just being lazy now after having spent the day out and about in Dublin, then he'd told me about not being able to transfer to Dublin and him not caring about it, cause he wants to focus on being a DJ anyways, and now we're just relaxing together.

I don't know why this scared me so much before, this being intimate with him thing. It's just natural and perfect and us. It's us to be like this together, even when we're out, it feels normal to hold his hand, to kiss him. Things that petrified me before, I now have no problems with. Though due to various idiots out there who'd rather harm you, than see that what you have is beautiful, we'd agreed to tone it down, a lot, while being outside and keep most of it for when we were at home. We both know we love each other, and he knows now that I am not ashamed, but some things are best kept for our own enjoyment.

I've thought loads about where we should go on our holiday these past couple of weeks and I've made a decision, almost, I brush his hair away and smile. "I was thinking maybe we could go to Italy?" he's rather thoughtful looking as I say this so I carry on, "You think you'd like that?" I bite my lip and wait for his reaction.

"I think that sounds wonderful Craig," he smiles his reply, "I've never been, have you?"

I shake my head, no I hadn't been to Italy before, "I'm glad my first time will be with you, and if we like it maybe we can go back sometime in the future?" John Paul's face when I say that, it just lights up and he nods his head in agreement.

"I think I'd like that sweetheart. I think I'd like that, a lot."

"Good, so Italy it is then." I bite my lip and chuckle, "But where in Italy?" I hadn't thought further than the country; there is so much to see in Italy that I don't even know where to start.

"Ehm…" I can tell by the frown on John Paul's face that he's not really sure where to go in Italy either.

"How about we both think about it, and then decide definitely when I come out to visit you in Hollyoaks, eh?"

He nods at this and that's how it will be, we know the country now and we'll know the destination soon. We'll both look up places and do a top three list of where we want to go to in Italy and then see if anything matches, or just take it from there and find a way to pick. We'll be together in Italy and that's what matters the most to both of us.

"Can we book your flight, for when you come and visit me, now?" he asks me and I can see the joy in his eyes at the prospect of having me back in Hollyoaks, even for a couple of days. I smile and nod my head and before I know what's happened he's been over to get my laptop and is settling back down on the bed.

"It'll be the last time we'll be able to see each other before school ends." I suddenly realize as I look at the calendar he's opened up in the laptop, and as realization dawns for him too I see his face fall a bit. "Well it'll only be a month or so I suppose, but we'll have to make the most of it while I'm in Hollyoaks, eh?"

"We will, and the time will go by quickly and then we're both free, and I'll be living here."

I kiss him as he says that, and then just hold him closer to me, cherishing the fact that I can do this now whenever I want. I can just hug him, or kiss him, or hold his hand or look into his eyes. I can do what I want, when I want it and so can he.

"How about you come out here, and stay the weekend and until that Monday?" he says as he looks at the calendar again. I look too and then look at the week after before replying.

"I'd rather come out these days, and leave on the Tuesday. That way I'll be there for your birthday," he looks at the dates I'm pointing at and then smiles widely, as if remembering his birthday for the first time in ages.

"Yeah that will be better, and it will make for a perfect birthday too." He nods his head eagerly, "So can we book a flight then?" he looks expectantly at me and I chuckle as I nod my head and then watch him as he books my trip, paying for it and all, so that I am back in Hollyoaks on the 15th May and go back home again on the 20th May.

"Oh, we'll have our one year anniversary too, well sort of." I shake my head as I look at the dates, John Paul nods shyly and kisses me.

"I didn't think you'd remember."

"How could I forget the day when my life changed for the better, eh?" I brush a kiss to his lips before looking into his eyes. "May 16th, the first time we made love, the first time I allowed my feelings for you to take control of me, the first time life made sense." I sigh happily, "It was the single most wonderful event in my life and at the same time it was the single most frightening thing to have ever happened to me in my life." Shaking my head I continue, "I said some really stupid things afterwards and I'm really sorry for hurting you, and being off with you afterwards, you know that, don't you?"

"You were scared Craig, of course I understand that, I was scared too and I know it was just your fear that made you lash out at me that day and be off with me afterwards. I know all that and it is understandable. I think I'd have reacted the exact same way." He brushes a hand through my hair and smiles, "I was scared too, scared of losing what we had, scared of letting my biggest dream come true, but I'm glad it happened. It's one of my most cherished memories, even with all the things you said afterwards before bolting out of the house, and even with how you behaved afterwards. That day means the world to me, because that was the first time I felt like I could really have you, could really be in a relationship with you."

I nod sadly, "I wish I was ready for it back then, I wish we hadn't wasted an entire year."

"Sweetheart we haven't wasted anything. I mean yeah I think we both could've been without that engagement, and yeah it would have been nice if you'd been able to just come out and say you loved me and wanted to be with me from the beginning. But you weren't, and I don't think I was ready for a proper relationship with you anyways." He sighs and I look questioningly at him, "Well you see you wanted to hide away back then, you weren't ready for public displays of affection and I thought being in a relationship meant showing it to everyone at all times. We were both wrong, and we both needed the time apart to realize what we really wanted." I nod my head slowly and he chuckles, "I'm just glad we both realized we wanted the same thing, eh?"

"Each other," I whisper softly making him smile and nod his head.

"Yeah, we both wanted each other, and here we are now." Brushing a kiss to my lips he continues, "We've both grown up the months we've been apart, and I don't feel like we've wasted anything. We sort of rushed into a relationship when we both weren't completely ready for it. Then when we were apart, we both got ready for the relationship. Now we're here, and I don't think we need to worry about anything else anymore."

"You're right, we're more than ready now and we both know what we want." I agree with him making him smile as I grip his hand tightly.

He turns his attention back to the laptop after a while, and finishes booking me my trip to Hollyoaks. "Okay tickets will be here in a couple of days I think," he chuckles and then closes down the lid of the laptop, placing it on the floor. Then he draws me into his arms, holding me closer to him, pressing his lips to my forehead. "I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too John Paul." I sigh happily, nestling closer to him, savoring the feel of him holding me, loving me. Why was I so scared of this before? Why be scared of something that feels so right, so perfect? I was an idiot back then, but no more. I know what I want now. I want him.

**That's it for this update. Feel free to comment and review, it's always appreciated. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Another little update. **

**John Paul**

"I don't want you to go," he whimpers adorably and it just warms my heart, I can't believe how quickly the days passed, but it's Sunday and I have to be at the airport in an hour, so I have to leave soon, but he's clinging to me for dear life and as much as I'd like to stay here from now on, I really have to go back and this time tell people about my plans about moving. Well not plans, tell them that I am moving and then decide where in Italy I'd like to go, so that we can book tickets for it when he comes out to visit me in a couple of weeks. "Craaaaig, don't make it harder than it already is," I whine as he holds me close to him and won't let go, "Sweetheart it's only a couple of weeks, it's the last time we have to say good bye in Dublin and then we'll say bye one more time when you come to Hollyoaks and after that we'll be together permanently, no more being apart, I promise."

"No more being apart now!" he says firmly and squeezes me even more making me chuckle and kiss the side of his head.

"Craig, I love you so much and I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me to say good bye to you too, but it's not permanent, it's just for a short while and then we'll be together and no one will be able to keep us apart, we won't let them."

"It's too soon," he whines but loosens his grip on me, still holding me in his arms but now looking into my eyes. I can see the sadness in his eyes and it just pains me that he's that sad.

"Sweetheart I know this is difficult for you, and it is difficult for me too, but I have to go back. I have to tell people and I have to do my school, so that maybe in the future I won't have to do as many years if I have some of the courses done now," he sighs, "Craig I'll miss you terribly but I'll know, sweetheart I'll know I'll see you really soon and that's what will keep me going. Don't think that this is easy on me Craig, because it isn't. I don't want to leave, but I know I have to so I am trying to be the strong one here." Craig sighs as he looks into my eyes and then slowly lets go of me, steps back and just nods.

"I know… I don't like it, but I know." He mumbles and I just smile sadly, cause there's nothing I'd want more, than just hold him and not let go, but I have to go now, or I'll miss my flight. I grip my bag, which is relatively empty and glance over at the bed, seeing the shirt I was wearing all day today led there on my side of the bed, my replacement until he comes out to see me.

"Okay, come on then, taxi should be here soon," I sigh and hold out my hand for him to grip, which he does. We walk down to the front door, where I hug him and kiss him good bye, "I don't think I can say good bye to you out there," I say and he nods his head, understanding me completely, so I hug and kiss him again, then brush away the stray tear that runs down his face, "Sweetheart don't, please don't." I don't want him to cry, "I'll always be right here," holding my hand over his heart I press another kiss to his lips, "I'll send a text as soon as I'm in England and then call you after I get to the house, okay?" he nods slightly and I can tell he's fighting to keep his tears in.

"I love you," he whispers as he kisses me again.

"I love you too sweetheart," I return the kiss, then pull him to me, holding him close for a moment, just breathing in his scent. Then I grab my bag, open the door and leave the house, closing it behind me, because I know I'd end up crying if I saw him crying. Luckily the taxi pulls up just then, so I get in and tell the driver my destination thinking to myself that this is the last time I'm going to leave Dublin to go back to Hollyoaks to live, cause the next time I come out here, is to live here permanently.

**John Paul**

"Hi love," Jacqui greets me as I get home, I smile and greet her back before heading up to my room with my bag.

As I return downstairs I drop down next to Jacqui on the sofa and sigh as I look around and listen for my sisters, "Where's everyone?" I wonder and she just shrugs.

"Out shopping, out working, who knows, I'm just enjoying the peace and quiet for a bit," I nod my head, then look at the TV. "How's Craig?" Jacqui asks and I smile sadly.

"Alright, didn't want me to leave though and I didn't want to leave him either, but I had to," Jacqui nods her head and grips my hand in support, "But he's coming out for a visit around my birthday so at least we'll see each other soon." I smile but I know it doesn't really reach my eyes and I don't really care. I miss him and I want to be with him. "I should call him, promised I'd do so when I got home."

"Okay, you go do that; I'll make you some tea for when you come back down, yeah?" My sister tells me and I nod as I get up and go up to my room.

The phone rings twice before he picks up, "I miss you," were his first words to me as I lay down on my bed and I smile at that

"Miss you too sweetheart," I sigh, "I'm gonna tell my family tonight, just gather them all round and tell them, cause I think now is the perfect time to do that."

"Yeah?" I can hear the joy in his voice and it just warms my heart.

"Yeah sweetheart, I'll tell them as soon as they all get back home."

"Okay and then call me afterwards, cause if they react badly I know you'll get upset and then you can vent all your frustrations to me and if they are happy for you, then well, then we'll both be happy, okay?"

He's so considerate, really thinking about all possible scenarios and looking out for me, "I will sweetheart. I was going to call before going to bed but I'll just call after I talk to them." I sigh before continuing, "I don't like not being able to hold you or kiss you. I don't like being apart from you Craig."

"It's not exactly fun for me either you know. I was the one who didn't want you to leave today, remember." He tells me and I can tell he is still a bit down over me leaving.

"I know Craig, I know, it's difficult, but soon sweetheart, real soon." I am about to continue when I hear the front door being slammed shut and Michaela shouting at my mum, "Oh they're home. I'll call you after I've talked to them, yeah?"

"I'll be waiting, good luck, love you."

"I love you too Craig, talk to you later." I smile as he sighs and then ends the call, before placing the phone in my pocket and heading downstairs again.

I can hear mum and Michaela going at it in the kitchen and see Carmel talking to Mercedes and Jacqui, I sigh and shake my head as Michaela shrieks loudly and then notice that Tina is sat in there trying to calm them both down.

Sitting down I just look at Jacqui, she smiles shaking her head, then gets up and goes to the kitchen, moments later they're all quiet. I don't know how Jacqui does it, but she can shut up all of us when we get out of control.

Now, my family, all seem to notice that I am back in the house and I get the questions about how it was and well the usual stuff you get asked about when you've been to another country. I answer with the standards like it was fine and it was fun and the likes and when they've all been satisfied they flock around the sofa and we all settle down to watch a movie.

It's during one of the commercials that I decide to just tell them, so I get up and stand in front of the TV, "Ehm…" they all look at me, "Right…" I bite my lip, "I've got something to tell you guys, and you might not like it." I sigh and watch as my mother picks up the remote and turns off the TV, so that I get all the attention, "But it's my decision and it is final. I can already tell you so it doesn't really matter if you won't like it, but I think you should know because you're my family and I love you all."

"Just tell us love," Mum says as she looks at me and I nod, with a small smile on my lips.

"Okay…" I begin, "Well… It… You see…" I draw a deep breath, "Last time when I went to visit Craig, he asked me to come live in Dublin with him…" I scratch my head, "He asked me and I told him I'd have to come back here and think about it, cause I figured we were sort of caught up in the being back together thing and then a bit of distance would make us see things clearly… But well I sort of gave him my answer before coming back here and then being away from him, missing him like I've never missed anyone in my entire life… It just tells me that I've made the right decision…" I smile now as I think about him and about his smile, "I'm moving to Dublin, I'm going to live with Craig." I say calmly and then look at my sisters and my mom. I can tell that Tina, Carmel and Jacqui are happy for me; it's evident in their eyes.

"You're leaving us?" I look over at Michaela and see the hurt in her eyes and nod sadly.

"Yeah Chaela, I have to. I need to. It's what feels right to do."

"But what about us?" She asks, making me smile.

"Sweetheart you, all of you, are my family. I'll love you till the day I die, but I can't stay here just for that. I have to live my life with the man I love… It's not like we won't see each other ever again. We'll come out for visits when we can, and once we have our own place then maybe you guys could come out for a visit too." I smile as I say this, "I know it's a big change but it's my life and it's time for me to leave. I can't stay here forever, it's a chance for me to go out and be happy and I'm not letting that slip away from me. I walked away from Craig once, I won't do it again."

"So, he'll leave you if you don't go to Dublin?" Mom asks and I frown.

"No… No he won't, where'd you get that from?" I wonder as I look at her.

"You just said you walked away from him once and that you won't do it again."

"Yeah," I shake my head, "It's… I left him once and I was miserable, we both were, so now we have a chance at being happy while living together or we have the option of being together but living in two different countries and quite honestly neither one of us is keen on the second option, of only having weekends and vacations together. We both want to be together, live together, have a proper relationship... Saying goodbye to him today was difficult, because I didn't want to leave him. This house, this village, it isn't home anymore. Home is where Craig is, and right now he's in Dublin." I breathe in deeply, "I might be stood here in front of you all, but my heart, my soul, my everything is back home in Dublin with Craig." I smile as I realize I just said home is in Dublin and I know in my heart that it is true.

Looking around I can tell that this is hard to take in for Michaela and my mum, Mercedes is just well Mercedes, I'm not sure what to make out of the face she's pulling right now.

"Oh, John Paul, that's wonderful."

"I'm so happy for ya babe."

"We'll miss you, but it is your life and you know what's best."

My other sisters tell me making me smile and nod my head, "Thanks," I sit down next to my mum and look into her eyes, "You do understand why I have to do this, don't you?"

She looks at me for a long while, really just looks into my eyes, and I know she's trying to see if I am really sure about this, if this is what I really want. Then when she's made up her mind she simply wraps her arms around me hugging me tightly, holding me close to her as she speaks, "I understand John Paul, you have to go and live your life. You have to be happy and if that means you having to move to another country then so be it. Your happiness is all that matters." She pulls back and kisses my cheek with a sad smile on her lips. "Have you eaten yet?" I smile and shake my head, "I'm going to have to have a word with that Craig, each time you come back from Dublin you haven't eaten. I have to make sure he looks out for my baby boy," she shakes her head and gets up heading for the kitchen.

"Thanks mum," she turns to look at me, and I smile, thankful for this reaction from her. Nodding her head she goes out to the kitchen, and moments later we hear her taking out pots and pans to prepare a meal for all of us.

My sisters don't say anything else about the matter. I can tell that Mercy will need a chat with me at some point, and I'll just wait for her to come to me, and Michaela well I know she'll be alright with it once she gets used to the idea of me leaving. The other girls seem to be really happy for me and in a way I'm relieved that this is the reaction I've gotten from my family.

When the food is ready, my mum has us all sitting in the kitchen eating together and I smile, as it has been a long while since all of us have sat together in this house and shared a meal, a proper meal. "Oh," I remember something and they all look at me waiting for me to continue, "All this about me moving away, can we keep it private for now. You guys and Craig are the only ones who know and I'd like it to stay like that until he's had the chance to tell his mother. I don't want her finding out through some village gossip." I raise my eyebrow and look at all my sisters, and my mother who all look sheepish and then nod their heads promising me they won't tell anyone. "I mean it. You all better not say a word about this to anyone." I look at each sister in particular, "That means not a word to Tony, or Dom," I tell Jacqui and Tina, "Not a word to Josh or Amy, and not a word to Niall or Calvin," I look at Carmel and Michaela, "Mercy please don't get into a fight with Frankie and blab this to her, she hates me as it is and Craig has to be the one to tell her." I look imploringly at Mercy and then all of them and they all promise me they'll keep their gobs shut.

I noticed that Carmel looked sad when I mentioned Calvin and I know they've split up, but I am also sure they'll get back together again soon, and I tell her this, making her shake her head sadly. "He'll realize he made a mistake Carm. You two are meant to be together, just like Craig and me are meant to be together, you'll see." I smile and kiss her on the cheek making her smile and shrug her shoulders.

"Mum," I look at my mother, "This means you can't tell Kieron either." My mum looks questioningly at me so I continue, "I know you, and I know you'll want to tell this to someone. I know a Priest can't tell anyone if you tell him in confidence, but I don't want anyone outside of the people sitting here right now to know about this, not Kieron, not Nan, no one, just you guys."

"Alright son, I won't tell anyone." She promises me and I nod my head satisfied that they all will keep this secret, at least until Craig has had a chance to speak to his mother.

"Craig is coming out for a visit in a couple of weeks," I say after a while as we've gone back to eating and chatting amongst ourselves. "Couple of days before my birthday and will stay a couple of days after too," I sigh dreamily, "And then we have all our exams, so we won't see each other for a fair bit of time."

"Will he stay at the Dog when he comes back?" Carmel wonders making me splutter into my glass and then shake my head.

"No, he's staying here with me," I tell her and the rest of them. "Let's just say Frankie wasn't too pleased about us getting back together when he told her on my last visit. He's not spoken to her since." I sigh at this, "Steph says she's in some sort of mood, what with all this Jake and Charlie business and then to have this with Craig on top of it all, I think it's too much for her. Craig doesn't care though, told me I'm his main priority now, but I still think it'll be good for him to try and talk to her, to tell her in person, and see if she can accept it this time round. She was on the verge of it last time." I shrug, "We'll see how it goes, if she's just stubborn, then she's just stubborn and it will be her loss, since he has his sisters on his side and he says that that matters more to him than anything else."

"Well this way we'll get to see how he is with you first hand," Mercy chips in and they all nod their head making me roll my eyes.

"Suppose so," I sigh, "But not a single bad word leaves any of your mouths when he comes. I'm the one who's in the relationship and I'm the only one who can tell him off for anything, you all get it?" I shoot all of them my glare, let them try to say anything to Craig, they'll see what I unleash upon them.

They all agree to not say anything bad to him, and we carry on with our dinner. As we finish the girls all head out to be with their friends, or to work and I head upstairs to rest and call Craig.

I take off my clothes, leaving on my t-shirt and boxers, and get under the covers before calling him, the phone only rings once.

"Hey" his voice seems to be happy, "Just hang on a sec John Paul, I'll head up to our room." I smile as he says that and then I can hear him practically running up the stairs, then the door closes and his voice appears again. "You okay baby?"

"Hey sweetheart," did he just call me baby? I think I just melted, "Yeah all is fine, just calling before going to sleep." I say and hear him shuffle about on the bed, "What were you doing downstairs?"

"We were just watching a movie, or rather the others were, I was waiting for you to call, and now you have." I chuckle, and send him a kiss through the phone. "You told them then?"

"Yeah, told them all."

"How did they take it?"

"Ehm good I'd say. Mercy hasn't commented on it yet, but I know her, she will at some point. Michaela was a bit upset and well I could tell mum was too, but she understands that I have to live my own life now. The other girls were really happy for me, well us I suppose." I hear him exhale and smile because I know he's been stressing about me telling them, probably thinking I'd not come to Dublin if they didn't approve. "You know I'd have come to Dublin even if they all were against it, don't you?"

"Would you?" he asks and I know that I would have. I don't even need to think about it.

"Yeah Craig, you're what's important to me. You're the one I want to be with, and I won't let anyone keep me from you, not anymore."

"I won't let anyone keep you from me either JP." Hmm again with a nickname, but I actually like that one.

"I like that…"

"What?"

"You calling me JP, I like that."

"Yeah?"

"Aha, I don't usually like it when others shorten my name, but I like it when you do it."

"Well then JP it is from now on," I chuckle and so does he.

"Oh sweetheart, I made my family promise me they'd keep the news about me moving a secret until you've had a chance to talk to your mum."

"Why? They can tell people if they want…"

"Craig, I really don't think it will do us any good if your mum hears about this from others. She has to hear it from you."

"But I don't care about her. I don't care who tells her. I don't want to see her, when I come to visit you."

"Craig, she's still your mum, no matter what she'll always be your mum."

"When she starts behaving like a proper mother then, and only then will I even begin considering talking to her again. So for all I care your sisters can tell her and laugh in her face while doing so, because they know before her." He tells me and I can instantly tell that I shouldn't push him on this issue, so I bite my tongue.

"Okay, well we can tell Steph together, right?"

"Ehm…. I sort of already told her."

"What, when?"

"She called earlier, after you called and was asking about how we were doing and I just told her."

"Oh… She took it well I take?"

"Uh huh, really well, she nearly made me deaf with her squealing."

I laugh, she does tend to love to squeal that Steph, "Well a good reaction then."

"Yeah, the best."

"You wanna tell Debbie too?"

"Hmm, yeah I might, she knows about us anyways so…" I interrupt him when he says that.

"She does?"

"Yeah, I talk to her every week, and she knows about us, everything… I thought I told you this…" I frown, when had he done that? I'm pretty sure he hadn't.

"No you haven't."

"Oh… Well okay, after it all came out about us last summer; she called me one of the days, seems Steph had called her. The moment she mentioned your name I was on alert, you know thinking she was going to have a go at me, just like Jake and mum, but no, she just… she was just sweet to me, sort of same reaction as Steph really. We talked for a bit then, and we made plans for her to come out to Dublin and meet you at some point…" I gasp, he'd done that, he'd done that back then?

"I'm sorry Craig," I sigh.

"Don't be, you've nothing to be sorry about."

"How about we have her come out and visit us in Dublin at some point then, cause this time I am coming out and staying there too."

"Yeah?"

"Of course, I'd really like to meet her anyways; she's the only one from your family I haven't met."

"Okay, yeah we can set something up with her at some point."

"Good… Now I believe you were telling me that she knows everything about us?"

"Hmm.. Oh yeah, well she heard about me going to Dublin all alone, from Steph, I think, and she called one day. She asked what had happened, and I just told her… She's the only one from my family who knows the entire story about us."

"Did she say anything to you back then, or was she just a supportive sister who listened to you when you needed her?"

"The last bit, I think she sensed that I had to get my head round things on my own."

"I think I like her already."

"You'll love her JP."

I smile as he says JP, I love it already. I love it how he says my name in full, but I also love the way it sounds when he shortens it.

"Sweetheart, could you tell Steph not to tell anyone about me moving just yet?"

"Why?"

"Ehm, well for one she's friends with Niall and I don't want him to find out cause he'll tell Kieron and I'm not really ready for him to find out yet. I want the people I care about to know first, you know mates and such." I sigh and hear him sigh on the other end of the line. "Please Craig, I want Hannah and my mates to know before the guy I slept with finds out."

He chuckles and I can almost see him shaking his head, "Yeah alright, I'll call her after this and tell her not to tell anyone, and if she's told Max, I'll make her swear him to secrecy."

"Thanks sweetheart, it's only until I've told the people who mean something to me."

"Then hurry up and tell them, cause I want everyone to know you're coming to live with me,"

Oh God, my heart just skipped a beat, him saying that to me, I know he's changed but when he says such things, I don't think he knows what that doest to me. I just love him that bit more, and I didn't think it was possible to love him more than I already do. "I will sweetheart, I'm gonna tell Hannah and the guys tomorrow."

"Good, cause this is something I am happy about and I want people to know, especially the ones who think that me and you were just some phase, a sorry episode that I'd forget once we split up."

"I know sweetheart, and I want the same people to know, to see that we've made it, despite them looking down on us, judging us, we've made it and they can go fuck off for all we care. I just want to be able to tell the people I care about in person, you know, not have them hear it from others."

"I know JP."

"Good, now let's talk about something else," he chuckles as do I, "I was thinking, wanna go out on our sort of anniversary?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll set up something then."

"Well whatever you set up, I want us to drink some sherry that day."

I laughingly promise him that I'll make sure there is some sherry for us that day, "Anything else?"

"Hmm… No just surprise me," he teases making me grin, "And I promise not to run off if we recreate what happened up in your room."

"Well even if you did run off, I'd go after you, and hold you and kiss you and make sure you're alright…"

"Still looking out for me, even now, eh?"

"Always and forever, sweetheart,"

"I love you, John Paul McQueen."

"I love you too, Craig Dean."

I yawn making him chuckle, "The flight catching up with you is it?"

"Something like that yeah, I think I'm gonna just sleep now, talk to you tomorrow yeah?"

"Of course JP, good night, sleep tight… Mwah."

"Thanks, good night… Mwah." I yawn again, and hear him chuckle again as he ends the call. Dropping my phone on the bedside drawer I make myself comfortable in my bed and close my eyes.

**Hope you enjoyed. :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**John Paul**

Sitting at the SU bar I'm waiting for the guys to arrive. I've asked Zak, Kris, Elliott and Hannah to come round so that I can tell them about my moving away to Dublin. They all know about me and Craig getting back together. Kris and Hannah both know about the Kieron mistake, and yeah I think it's time I tell them.

They arrive one by one. I get the drinks in as we sit around the table and chat about my latest visit to Dublin, all of them making some comment about me seeming to be happier than I've been for months and I can't do anything other than agree with them, I'm happier and it's all because of Craig.

"Okay, I've got some news," I tell them after a couple of drinks, and when I have their attention I begin, "You all know I'm back together with Craig," they nod, "Yeah so we've been talking and this long distance relationship thing that we've got going on currently is not something either one of us is that keen on having. Just seeing each other every couple of weeks, or just a couple of days a month isn't good enough." I drink from my bottle as they all look from me to each other, "So he asked me to move to Dublin, to live with him, to have a proper relationship with him, and I've agreed."

"You're leaving?" Hannah wonders and I nod my head, "When?"

"As soon as school finishes," I shrug, "We'll stay in Dublin for a bit as he has some work to do, then we'll go on vacation together and then after that I'm starting on my new job at the club Craig works at."

"You've already got a job?" Zak asks making me nod my head and chuckle.

"Yeah, we went in one night on my first visit. The DJ they'd gotten for that night had called in sick, so I took over, just playing his set really. But the club owner saw something in me and offered me a job if I ever were to move to Dublin, and then Craig asked me to come live with him and yeah I've got a job set up, pays a nice bundle too, double of what Warren pays me."

"Lucky bastard," Zak shakes his head disbelievingly making us all laugh.

"I suppose I am lucky yeah, but I'd have gone to Dublin even if there wasn't a job already waiting for me. I'd have gone even if Craig was living in some bedsit, it just feels right you know, just feels like the right thing to do."

"I'm happy for you John Paul," I smile as Hannah squeezes my hand and smiles, "If only you two had been ready for this last year, eh?"

I nod sadly as I look at her, "Yeah, but we needed the time to grow up, realize what and who we really wanted and now we're stronger than ever before."

"So this is a celebration then," Kris chimes in and I smile, "Well then this round's on me, and you can help me carry the drinks back," he says as he gets up and I follow him to the bar. He places the order then looks at me for a bit before speaking, "So I suppose you've made up your mind then about the entire thing with, you know who?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"That was a mistake. Something we both should've stopped, but both failed to stop," I shrug my shoulders, "Have you ever slept with someone and then woken up afterwards knowing it had been a mistake. Knowing that you only really wanted to sleep with the person you'd let go, the person you'd tried so hard to tell yourself you had gotten over, but then that one night with someone else makes you realize that you are in fact still in love with the man you let go?" I look at Kris and he's just smiling.

"Can't say I've ever had that, but it at least is evident that you know what you really want now, even if it had to get that far for you to realize it."

"I know Kris. I tried to move on, I really did, but he's in here." I hold my hand over my heart and then point to my head, "He's there all the time, no matter how much I tried to push it back he was always there somewhere and then after that night I just… I felt so wrong. I felt like I'd cheated on him, but then at the same time I knew he'd moved on, since Jake had told me that. It turned out to be a lie, but still I didn't know that and I figured if he'd gotten over me that quick, then I meant nothing to him. But I just couldn't see myself in a relationship with, you know, it would've been me being his secret, just like I was Craig's and I've done that once. I've seen the hurt it caused, I can't do it again." I sigh as I look at Kris, who nods for me to continue, "You know after I talked to Han that night and then you the next day I was confused, but I knew I couldn't be with him, I knew for sure. I wasn't willing to be the outcast again. I barely coped the first time round, and I had all these thoughts up in my head, then had a row with him back home and just thought I really needed to talk to someone who's not here, not in this village, someone who's been away for a while, and… Well before everything happened, Craig was my best mate, so I hoped I still had my best mate, I just booked a flight and went to see him."

"Hang on, you told Craig?"

I grin sheepishly and nod my head, "Yeah, I rang the bell, and after us staring at each other for ages, I just told him that I'd fucked up big time and really needed to speak to my best mate, and if I still had a best mate called Craig."

"Which you did, I presume."

Laughingly I nod, "Yeah, ehm well we talked, or rather I talked and he listened, cause I told him this was me talking to my best mate and nothing else, and afterwards he just asked me why I felt so guilty cause as he saw it we'd been two to make that decision, you know." Kris nods, "And he made me see that, the guy had more or less tried to pin the entire thing on me. Blaming me for using him and such…" I sigh and shake my head, "Which I see now that I didn't, cause we both wanted to do that in that moment, but it was after I told him I couldn't be with him that he blamed me."

"He was probably just a bit angry, don't you think?"

"Suppose so, and in a way I understand the reaction, but it's not my fault, not entirely."

"True."

"But yeah anyways, we talked and talked and talked and he was just taking it really well, so I just asked who he was and where Craig was, he just told me that he was still him, my best mate so I asked him what Craig my ex thought about all of that and he just changed. Told me he hated it, hated to hear I'd been with someone else and we talked some more. He told me he still loved me and I told him I still loved him and well…" I shrug and bite my lip, "Well we got back together, talked about us, him telling me he'd told this girl he lives with about me, everything about me and well we… You know." I raise my eyebrows and Kris chuckles as he nods his head, "I met the girl, Rae, she's really nice. Then his other housemates came home. They'd brought this girl with them for Craig to take out on a date, since they'd been fed up with him pining for his ex and he just snapped, shouted at them to stop meddling with his life and as I tried to calm him down he just told them all he didn't want a girlfriend cause he already had a boyfriend." I chuckle, "He's really changed Kris, it's… Well he's not afraid to hold my hand in public. He'll kiss me and not look around to see if anyone is watching. He's grown up, even tells people I'm his boyfriend and is proud to say it."

"Well good for you John Paul, good for both of you." Kris tells me as he orders another round, us having drunk the previous one while we talked, "It's about bloody time you two got your acts together and got back together." He picks up the drinks, leaving the bottles to me, "We'll miss you when you leave you know, but you found your true love, don't ever let anyone try and ruin that for you."

"I won't," I smile my reply as we head back to the table and rejoin our friends.

Hannah raises her eyebrow at us as we sit down with the drinks. I smile reassuringly showing her that all is fine, and we both laugh as Zak complains about us taking too long, and cracks a joke about gay guys and gossiping while pretending to buy a round of drinks, which only earns him a slap upside the head from Kris.

"Oh guys, if you could keep my little news just between us for a while then I'd appreciate it," I tell them all and see the question on all their faces, which just makes me chuckle. "I think Craig should be the one to tell Frankie, she's his mum and she should hear it from him," I look at all of them and see their nods of understanding, "He's coming out in a couple of weeks so, just keep it to yourselves until then, yeah?"

"He's coming back?" Hannah asks with a smile and I nod, excitedly.

"Yeah, around my birthday," I smile warmly as I think about him. "He's still bricking it, a bit, though cause of how he left things. But I've told him that he's talked with the people he really had to talk to, Sarah and then me. I think he's really looking forward to seeing you Han," she raises her eyebrow with a questioning smile on her lips, so I continue, "Well I've told him you're okay now, you know," she nods and smiles. "But, I think he's still feeling a bit guilty about all that happened with you and has to see for himself that you really are back to being you. The happy, beautiful girl who we both treated badly." I shake my head as she goes to protest and she stops herself, "I think he just needs to see you, see that you're okay, yeah?"

"Well I don't blame either one of you," she chimes in, "And I'll gladly see him once he returns."

"I'll tell him that," I smile and think to myself that this might just get him to calm down a bit, and maybe even make him look forward to coming back to the village. "So you all will keep quiet about this, eh?" I ask all of them and they all promise me that they won't tell a living soul about my moving away.

We end up having a rather pleasant evening and night together. Danny joins us at some point and it just makes me so happy to see Hannah look that much in love, and to see him looking at her with nothing but adoration and love in his eyes tells me that this time she found the right guy for her.

It's only when Zak gets so drunk that he ends up insulting some girl, and subsequently gets slapped that we decide to call it a night. As I walk home I check my phone, and see that I have a message from Craig that I totally missed while hanging out with the guys. I instantly feel guilty, even before reading it, because I don't want him to think that I'm ignoring him. I open the message and smile as I read his words.

"Hey, just got the plane tickets, wanted u 2 know… I'm off 2 work hope u have a good night, miss u, love u C. xxx"

I sigh happily as I reach home, and head up to my room. I undress and get under the covers before replying to his message.

"Hi sweetheart, sorry 4 the late reply, was with the guys, told them about me moving. Great news about the tickets, can't wait to see u, hope u had a good night at work. I really miss u, love u forever sweetheart, JP. xxxxx"

I chuckle to myself as I press send, then turn of the lights and close my eyes, still grasping the phone in my hand.

**That's all for this update, hope you enjoyed. ****Next chapters will see Craig return to Hollyoaks. **

**Feel free to comment, review and even make suggestions to what you want to happen in future chapters. :P**


	17. Chapter 17

**Another little chapter for all of you who are reading this little story of mine.**

**Craig**

"You'll be fine Craig," Rae is looking at me as though I've lost my mind, "He's waiting for you, and if you don't get a move on, you'll miss the plane, now come on." She tells me as she opens the door, grips my bag and walks over to the taxi that she'd called for me.

I'm going back to Hollyoaks today, just to visit John Paul, spend some days, including our sort of anniversary and then his birthday, before heading back to sit my exams. In a way I've been looking forward to this, cause I miss him so much, but at the same time I'm really apprehensive about it all, because it's Hollyoaks after all, and I feel like I've got so much unfinished business there, so many people who hate me cause of what happened last year, and I don't know if I can face them, I don't know if I am strong enough yet.

"Come on Craig, you can't let John Paul down," Rae tells me as she grips my hand and pulls me out of the house, over to the taxi.

"But what if…"

"No what ifs Craig, no matter what John Paul will be there. He'll stand next to you and he won't let anything bad happen to you. That boy loves you to bits, and from the amount of crying you did on my shoulder, over the past months I know you love him to bits too. Hell I'd have to be blind and stupid to not have seen how you two look at each other from the times he's been here, and he's moving here to be with you. Craig he won't let anything happen to you, you're his world, just like he is your world, so please for my, your and his sanity's sake, get in this car, get on that plane and go spend the next couple of days with the love of your life." She exhales and looks at me, making me blush, "Besides, I'm not letting you into that house until Tuesday, so go on, get you." She raises her eyebrow challenging me to object and I just chuckle, because she's said it all, I have no reason to object.

"Thanks Rae," I smile warmly as I hug her and kiss her cheek, "Okay, I'll see you Tuesday then."

"Yes you will, now give John Paul my love and I'll call him on Sunday to wish him a happy birthday." She tells me as I get in the taxi and then waves me off as I tell the driver my destination.

Arriving at the airport I quickly check in and after some time waiting I board the plane. I'm nervous though, from the moment we take off till the moment we land in England I'm just not there. I let my mind take control of me and think about all the people who'll be after me for the mess I made out of things last year.

It's not until I see him, until I see his face as I walk through the arrivals gate that I calm down. He's looking directly at me and as our eyes lock he smiles, instantly calming me down, instantly making me feel strong and secure once more. I practically run over to him and fling my arms around him, showering his face with kisses, before landing one perfect kiss onto his lips. I hold him close to me, breathing in his scent, loving the feel of having him in my arms again. "Hi," he whispers and I chuckle.

"Hi yourself," I tell him as I release him from my hold, step back and just look at him. I cup his face with my hands and kiss him tenderly again, before going back to just looking at him, "I missed you so much JP."

"I missed you too sweetheart," he smiles as he brushes my hair away from my forehead. Gripping my hand he heads us over to the taxi rank, and it's not long till we're heading back to Hollyoaks.

"Rae sends her love," I tell him as I nestle in closer to his side, with his arm wrapped around my shoulder. He smiles and nods his head, and then just looks at me, making me blush and look away.

"How scared have you been of making the trip back to England," he asks me making me chuckle and exhale.

"On a scale from one to 10… Probably 100." I sigh as I turn to look at him, "All day today I've just been petrified for some reason. You know not really wanting to have people telling me off for my behavior last year and all that." He nods his head with a smile as he brushes a kiss to my cheek, "But Rae managed to calm me down, and then just seeing you stood there waiting for me, it just made me feel safe and secure, and well I'm still not that keen about seeing some people, but as long as you're there with me then I know everything will be fine."

"I'll always be there sweetheart. I'm not letting anyone blame you for anything that happened last year. We were both involved in everything, so if anyone has anything to say to you, they'll have to say it to me too." He tells me reassuringly and I can just feel all my worries leave my body, I know all this, I know he'll be there with me, he's told me enough times, but I guess just actually being here and then hearing him say that again is what I needed, because by the time we drive into Hollyoaks I am sort of relaxed and in a way looking forward to meeting some people.

**Craig**

"Right, here we are then," John Paul says as he takes my bag in one hand and grips my hand with the other. We're stood outside the door to his house and I can tell he's both anxious and excited for me to be back here, he opens the door, walking us in. Instantly I'm hit by the memories of us two in this house, which I've carried with me for so long now. I just begin looking around, seeing if anything's changed, but no, everything looks the same which just makes me smile as I turn to look at him, seeing him stood there just watching me.

"It all looks the same," I tell him, making him chuckle and nod his head, "I've missed this house you know," I continue as I look around once more, then go over to grip his hand, "I always felt at home here, your family always just welcomed me, no questions asked, no nothing, felt nice to be… well, wanted in a way."

"The McQueen's, the family that loves everyone," he chuckles making me laugh and then press a kiss to his lips.

"Yeah, a loving family that sees the good in all people," I nod, and then kiss him again, "Shall we take the bag up to the room?" I wonder after a while as we just stand there kissing next to the stairs, and reluctantly John Paul tears himself away from me to nod, then grabbing my bag, he leads me up to his room for the first time in over six months.

"Here it is," he grins as we enter the room. He drops the bag near the closet and then turns to look at me as I take in the room. It's exactly as I remember it, bar a couple of new posters, even the pictures of us that were there last year are on the walls and on the bedside drawer now. I know he's had them down in the months before we got back together. I know it hurt too much for him to look at them, but they're back now and I know it's because he loves me and trusts me. Because he knows that I won't ever do anything to hurt him again.

Sitting down on the bed I smile as I look over at him, he's just looking at me with a delighted smile on his lips. "What?" I wonder as he keeps looking at me, making me blush. I know he loves to look at me, but usually I'm asleep when he does that. He told me that he loves to just watch me as I sleep because I look so at peace with everything.

"Nothing," he bites his lip as he joins me on the bed, raising my hand to his lips and pressing a kiss onto it, "It's just… You're really here, in my room, in my house, you're here visiting me," he smiles warmly as he presses a kiss to my lips, "You're really here sweetheart."

I nod my head shyly, "Yeah, I'm really here, and we're gonna make the most out of this visit, yeah?" I ask since I know, and he knows that after I go back, we won't see each other for over a month. All the exams will take up most of our time, but after them, then nothing will stop us from being together.

"Yeah, we better do that," he smiles teasingly and raises his eyebrows suggestively as he looks at me, "This bed has really missed you, you know," he pats the duvet, the same old starry duvet and I chuckle as I nod my head.

"I've missed this bed too, it's been a while since I've slept in a single bed, you know." I frown for a moment then look at him, "Did you and what's his face, sleep in this bed?" his face answers the question before he does but he won't let me get up from the bed.

"I slept with Spike in here too, you never minded that. What's his face meant nothing to me, you know that, and yeah same bed, other bedspread." He tells me as he looks into my eyes, "This is our bed, yours and mine. I don't care who I slept with in it before you or after you, this will always be our bed in my eyes."

I nod my head and press a kiss to his lips relaxing and letting him push me down, and lie on top of me as he kisses me again, and again and then deepens the kiss as his tongue ventures inside of my mouth. I wrap one of my arms around his back, pulling him closer to me, the other hand goes into his hair, keeping him in the kiss, not letting him pull back. Opening my eyes, I see that his eyes are open too, and the look of pure lust in them makes me pull back from our kiss with a gasp. He doesn't need to ask the question verbally, his eyes have done all the talking and I only nod as I pull his head back down to resume our kiss.

It's as if he's putting everything into this kiss, as if this is the last time we're going to be together, or maybe he's trying to show me that this bed really is our and our alone. Whichever thing, I am enjoying this, I'm letting him take all the control and just do what he wants to do, since I am in the mood for being loved, and that's what he is doing, he's loving me.

He gets us both off the bed, and slowly undresses me, kissing every part of me as he uncovers it, then he lays me back down on the bed and undresses himself as I watch, and it's a lovely sight, him naked. We've both gone weeks without each other, so to say I'm turned on would be rather accurate, but then who wouldn't be if their boyfriend was as gorgeous as John Paul?

He climbs back onto the bed and on top of me, resuming our kissing from before, but now he begins to slowly grind his hips, making our cocks rub together and at the same time making me groan. He loves this, this foreplay of sorts. He loves to bring me to the verge of my orgasm, and then deny me it, as I know he'll stop and then go back to just kissing me. Before finally making love to me, and then letting me come, letting me have my release. We both know this is how it will be, and in a way it turns me on even more that I let him control me like that, that I am submissive to him, it's… it's an out of this world experience for me. I've never thought of myself as being submissive, but with him, well I don't really mind.

We do end up making love, but not until after he's done the foreplay thing. Not until after he's made me almost come, and then just stopped with a wicked glint in his eyes. Not until after he's kissed me silly. Not until after he'd gotten me so aroused, that when he finally began preparing me for his cock I was practically begging him to hurry up and just fuck me, because I needed him. I really needed to have him inside of me. I needed to feel him; I wanted him to make love to me.

He didn't disappoint me. He never does, once he was inside of me and once we got into our own rhythm it was just like walking on air. He fucked me hard, he fucked me fast, he fucked me deep and he made love to me slow and tender, kissing me, sucking on my neck, marking me. He made me come too, hard. I didn't even notice his hand wrapping around my cock until he began to stroke it, making sure to linger on my hypersensitive head, which just made me scream out his name. This combined with his cock brushing over my prostate and his mouth nibbling on my skin, brought me over the edge, my seed shooting out of me in five bursts, covering our bellies and his hand.

My orgasm had barely finished when his began. I gripped his face in my hands and pulled him down to me, swallowing his orgasm the moment it began, kissing him throughout it, savoring the feel of his come shooting deep inside of me, filling me up, marking me as his, making me feel loved and desired.

He collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily, making me chuckle and stroke my hand up and down his back. We stayed like that for a while, him recovering and me holding him. He pulled his cock out of me and rolled down to the side, and as I covered us with the duvet, he nestled in my open arms, resting his head on my shoulder, pressing soft wet kisses to my chest. We didn't need to say anything, just being together like that was enough, I smiled softly as he drifted off and then with a kiss to his forehead, I closed my own eyes, allowing for the post coital sleep to take me away.

**John Paul**

"John Paul love, you in?" I wake up by the voice of my mother and two seconds later she's entering the room, "So I was saying… Oh.." she stops talking and as I open my eyes and turn to look at her I see she's not alone, I frown for a minute as she just stares and then feel movement in the bed.

Turning to look, I smile to myself, now that I am actually fully awake I do remember that Craig is here. I watch him wake up and as he sees me he smiles. He reaches out his hand to cup my face, "Hi," he says and then pulls me down for a kiss.

"Hi yourself," I kiss him again, and rest our foreheads together as we lose ourselves in each other's eyes. It's only when my mom clears her throat that I remember that she's still in the room, and I notice that Craig also just realized that she was in here, with some stranger he'd never seen before.

"Hi Mrs. McQueen," Craig gets himself in a seated position, as do I, and then rests his chin on my shoulder, pressing a kiss to my neck.

"Oh… eh.. Good to see you Craig," my mum mutters, clearly embarrassed that she just walked in without knocking or waiting for a response. But that's the story of my life, they all just walk in without knocking or waiting for a response. "And it's Myra, love, none of that Mrs. McQueen business." She tells Craig, and I can feel him smiling as he nods.

"Did you want something mum?" I look at her, and she frowns for a moment then turns to look at Kieron who's just staring at us, but trying not to stare at the same time.

"Eh.. Yeah, Father Kieron thinks he might have forgotten a couple of things in here, we we're just going to look for them… but ehm… Maybe we can come back later?" she asks as she looks at me, but I think it was more a question to Kieron.

Funny thing is the second she said his name I heard Craig growl, and then he wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me closer to him, making it pretty clear to anyone and everyone that I belong to him.

"No need mum, just have a look around now," I say as I look from her to Kieron, "Well go on then, don't be standing there all day, we'd like to get dressed at some point too, so…" I raise my eyebrow and Craig chuckles as the two people have a quick look around at the desk and in the closet, finding the things that Kieron had forgotten.

Kieron doesn't say anything; he just looks at us in bed, looks from me to Craig then down to Craig's arms which are still wrapped tightly around my stomach, then at Craig again, before offering some sort of thank you and leaving, "Right, I'm… I'm going to go start on our tea…" mum utters as she leaves the room, making sure to close the door behind her.

"Well that wasn't awkward at all," Craig sighs as he releases his hold of me, and flops down on the pillow again. Turning to look at him I smile and shrug my shoulders as I nestle closer to him, kissing him on the lips.

"Who cares, someday they'll learn to knock I suppose," I shrug again, "Besides, I'm out of this place soon enough, and back home they at least know to knock and wait for a response before entering our room, eh?"

I tell him with a laugh as I remember one particular night where Joe had knocked and then just gone in without waiting for us to respond. He'd gotten a right eyeful that night, since we were trying out a new position then. Craig with one leg in the air, the other wrapped around my waist, me deep inside of him, thankfully we had the duvet covering most of us, but he still had seen plenty.

"You're thinking about Joe, aren't you?" he asks me making me giggle and nod, "Poor guy, you know he even knocks on the door when you're not there, and waits until I tell him to come in now, like I'd be doing anything with myself." Craig shakes his head disbelievingly.

"Well you have been a couple of times," I remind him, since we've had some webcam sex a couple of times. But that had been after my first visit, we hadn't done anything like that after the last time I had been out to Dublin.

"Right, well it's good he knows to knock, and your lot will learn at some point, I suppose." Craig shrugs before kissing me gently on the lips. We end up kissing for a bit after that, there's no rush really, I'd made some vague plans with the guys, which could be cancelled and it was still fairly early so we had most of the day to figure out what we really wanted to do. "So that was Kieron eh?" Craig asks after a bit, making me nod.

"Yup, that was him, one of the mistakes of my life." I sigh and shrug.

"How old is he?"

"Late 20s why?"

"The fuck he is. He's older than that and ugly too, have you seen the size of that nose," Craig just looks at me with a raised eyebrow, then with a lowered voice he continues, "What on earth did you see in him?"

"I dunno," I shrug, "He's nice and was a mate when I really needed one," I shrug again, "Suppose he was just there and there was nothing better on offer," I look into Craig's eyes and after a moment he nods his head.

"Well he's ugly. I'd like to think you can do better than that, hell even Kris would've been better than being with that geezer."

I laugh, "Yeah alright, calm down you… Besides I did better than him, I have you don't I? There's not a guy in this entire village, this entire country, this entire planet that looks as beautiful as you do sweetheart." He blushes and I kiss him on the cheek, "You're the beauty in my life Craig. You!"

Looking at him now I can tell he is pleased cause he has this smug expression on his face, shining through the blush that's staining his cheeks, "Yeah, suppose you're right, ain't no one can match my level of perfection." He says with a flirtatious wink making my insides melt, god he is perfect, simply perfection personified.

"I know sweetheart," I tell him as I gaze into his eyes and feel myself falling even deeper in love with him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Oh, wait... Look, another chapter... **

**John Paul**

Eventually we get dressed and head downstairs, mum smiles as we enter the kitchen and chats for a bit with Craig as I make us a cup of tea, when it's ready we head over to the sofa as mum continues to make our dinner. Finishing the tea we end up snuggling together, me leaning against the armrest, with Craig between my legs, his back against my chest, with my arms around his waist and my chin resting on his shoulder, as we watch some weird B-movie that Craig finds fascinating. But which is just pure rubbish if you ask me, but I don't care, it's the being able to do this with him in my house that thrills me beyond belief.

My sisters, the ones who are still living at home, come home one after the other and then Tina and Jacqui pop round too and I know it's because they know Craig is here. Tina and Carmel had squealed when they saw us sat together watching the TV, both of them commenting on how romantic it was that we were sitting like that just watching a movie. Michaela had been well, Michaela, looked as if she had just smelled something that stank and went off to the kitchen. Jacqui sent me this knowing smile with a raised eyebrow and Mercedes, well I am still waiting for her to come talk to me about me moving away, but I sensed that she was observing us, or rather Craig, trying to see how he behaved with me now.

As mum called us all in for dinner, Craig held me back for a moment and asked me why Mercedes kept looking at him which just made me laugh, "I think she's trying to see how you behave with me now, you know, if you can touch me and all that." I told him, making him nod, kiss my cheek and then shrug, as he headed for the kitchen with me in tow.

The meal was nice, the girls chit chatted with Craig, Jacqui in particular had a sudden interest in his studies and his job, and I could tell that she was impressed with what she was hearing. "So when did you arrive today?" she asked him and he answered her that he'd been here for a couple of hours now, "Oh and have you two done anything, or just been lazy sods sat on the sofa?"

"Oh we did something alright," he tells her with a smirk as he looks at me, and I feel myself blush, "We were sleeping, and got woken up when Myra came in to the room to look for something with Kieron." He'd barely managed to say it, before Jacqui spluttered into the water she had just taken a sip of and began to cough. "Can't say I've ever tried to be walked in on by my boyfriend's mother and the local priest, while in bed with my boyfriend," He chuckles as he looks from mum to me and to Jacqui.

"Right right, must have been awkward," Jacqui smirks as she looks from Craig to me and I chuckle, cause I know what she means, must have been awkward for Kieron and I figure it had been, but well they could've just bloody waited for an answer before just walking into the room.

"Yeah well, suppose next time mum will knock, wait for me, or Craig to respond and then enter the room," I chuckle and wink teasingly at my mother who's blushing, "And that goes for the rest of you too," I turn and look at all the girls, lingering particularly at Michaela for a bit. "Unless you want a right eyeful," I chuckle as this time Craig splutters into his glass of water, "If you do, then by all means walk right in." I finish and rub Craig's back as he coughs.

"So anyways, any plans for tonight?" Jacqui asks, changing the subject.

Looking at Craig he just shrugs and I do the same, "Dunno yet, we'll see what we're in the mood for later, eh?"

"Yup," Craig smiles widely and I can't resist cupping his face and pressing a soft kiss to his lips just then. He blushes slightly as I pull back, but it isn't from embarrassment, it's just his reaction to me being so loving, and I love it. I hear one or maybe more of my sisters make the awww sound, but I don't turn to look at who it was, I'm busy gazing at my boyfriend and he's busy gazing at me.

I's only when Jacqui clears her throat that I look around the table and see that Tina, Carmel and mum all are teary eyed, Michaela just looks disgusted, Jacqui is happy, I can tell in her eyes that she's happy to have seen this little moment between Craig and I. Mercedes, I can tell that she is touched. I know her, I know she hides behind her make-up and her attitude, but that caring sister, the one that was there for me last year at the engagement party, she's in there and I can see her now. And I know that she can tell that what Craig and I have is real, that he isn't just using me, and I suspect she'll want to talk to me at some point after Craig has gone back to Dublin.

The rest of the meal goes on without any further interruptions, as we finish mum more or less tells us all to leave the kitchen, so we all spread out. Michaela going out to be with Josh, Mercy heading off to work, Jacqui and Tina heading back home and Carmel leaves to go be with Calvin, so we end up being left alone in the living room, while mum cleans up in the kitchen.

"You wanna go for a walk?" I ask Craig as I look at him, "Maybe go round to see Steph?" He shrugs and looking into his eyes I can tell his anxieties are resurfacing, "I mean she could probably do with a visit from you, what with all this Jake business." I see the flash of anger and pain in Craig's eyes and instantly shut up. We'd just found out yesterday that Jake had killed a man, or admitted to it, and Craig had not exactly been the most supportive brother, he'd called Jake every name under the sun, and then some more on top of that, and I had just let him as he vented through the phone.

He'd called me after Steph had called to tell him, and I spent the greater part of that conversation just listening to him and agreeing with him, because that was what he needed. He'd not mentioned it at all today and honestly I wouldn't have either, but I think Steph could do with a visit from her brother, could do with his shoulder to cry on, and I think it'd do him some good to see her too. I'm about to apologize for mentioning Jake when Craig grips my hand and heads us out of the door, I barely managed to call out to my mum that we're going before the door is shut behind us.

We walk in silence for a bit, me waiting for him to say something, anything really, just so that I know what sort of mood he is in. It's only as we pass Evissa that he turns to look at me, he'd held my hand all this way, now he gives it a squeeze and offers a slight smile before speaking, "Steph won't be at Max's now they've split up," he says with a sigh before looking around, "Don't suppose I can see her somewhere other than the Dog? I'm not ready to see my mum yet," he's looking pleadingly at me and I nod my head.

I make a call to Steph asking her to meet me at the SU bar as I need her help with a surprise for Craig that I am trying to set up, and she tells me she'll be there in 10 minutes, so ending the call I place a soft kiss on his cheek and together we walk over to the SU bar. "Inside or outside?" I ask him as we arrive and looking around he shrugs, but then tells me inside, so we head inside and I order us some drinks.

There aren't many of my friends in there, and those who are there are busy with their dates so I only got a couple of nods and no one came up to talk to me. "I'm gonna…" Craig points in the direction of the toilets and heads that way as I wait for our drinks.

"John Paul?" I turn at the sound of Steph's voice and smile as she stops next to me, buying her a drink we head for a table, and I make sure that she sits in the chair with the back to the doors to the toilets, so that she doesn't see Craig when he comes out of there, "So what's this surprise you've got planned for my baby brother?"

"Well…" I begin, and as I see Craig emerging out of the toilets I take a swig from my bottle. Seeing him spotting us, I look at Steph and bite my lip, "I was thinking… How about…" I see Craig coming towards us and chuckle, "How about I surprise…" he stops right behind her chair and I look directly at him, "How about I tell him I love him?"

"Don't you do that all the time?" Steph wonders and I nod my head.

"Yeah he does, all the time, and I love hearing him say it, all the time." Craig says, making Steph jump in her seat, then turn to look at him, and finally let out a small girlish scream as she cries out his name. Next followed about, oh I don't know 10 minutes of Steph hugging him, asking him loads of questions about Dublin, hugging him some more and then glaring at me for not having told her about him coming back, to which I just shrugged. "Don't blame him Steph, I made him promise me he wouldn't tell anyone from my family. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see anyone from all you guys, and then after you told me about Jake yesterday I really only wanted to see John Paul, to have him hold me and make me feel better," he sighs as he tells her that making me smile sympathetically and grip his hand supportively, "But I'm glad JP suggested we go see you, he figured you'd probably need me as much as I need you, to support each other through this stuff with that psycho."

"Craig!" Steph says firmly, "No matter what he's our brother."

"No he isn't," Craig retorts, "No brother of mine would have treated me so badly. No brother of mine would have deliberately gone about hurting the person I love. No brother of mine would have tried to kill his kid, and most certainly no brother of mine would've abused their wife like he did."

Craig looks at Steph and I can tell all this pains him. I know how close him and Jake were, but I also know that he's made up his mind and at least for the time being he's not in the sympathetic towards Jake mode, and quite honestly I'm fine with that. I'll support Craig in whichever decision he makes in regards to his family and particularly in regards to his brother. "I only have JP, you, Debbie and to some extent Darren and Jack too, you guys are my family." Craig continues making me smile and Steph frown.

"What about mum?"

"What about her?"

"Craig, please don't be like this, she loves you, you know that, don't you?"

"She loves me when I'm "normal" and in her world that means when I'm with a girl, and as long as she thinks that, as long as she figures that what I have with John Paul is just some phase then I don't want to know her." He shakes his head, "Oh and don't even get me started on the entire supporting psycho Jake through all this stuff he did to Nancy and then blaming her, poor girl didn't deserve that. She might have been a right cow to me and John Paul after it all came out, but no one deserves that sort of treatment, especially not her."

He looks at me for a moment and I smile as he raises my hand to his lips, giving it a kiss, "And tell me why is it that Charlie's staying with her? He's not even her flesh and blood…" he begins and it looks as if Steph wants to object but he won't let her, "I know for all his life he's been one of us, and I won't ever stop thinking of him as my nephew, but well he isn't, he's not part of our family, not really, so why is it they gave her temporary custody?"

"Suppose it is because Nancy doesn't have any job, no income and all that," Steph shrugs as she answers him and I nod my head in agreement.

"Craig, they'll surely award her custody, she's his biological aunt, she just needs to sort out her own life properly and then she can have him come live with her." I tell my boyfriend who doesn't look impressed.

"Well, let's hope she gets him back before mum manages to screw him up in the same way she managed to screw up Jake, that woman isn't fit to be a mother."

"Craig!" both Steph and I exclaim at the same time, and at least now he looks a bit sheepish as he looks from her to me and back again.

"I just wish she was more like Myra," Craig sighs, making me chuckle, "What? At least she loves her kids no matter what stuff they do, does she love Jacqui any less for having gone to prison, or Michaela, does she love her any less for all the stuff she put you guys through with her drug usage?" I shake my head in reply, mum had been disappointed, but she never stopped loving them, in fact always she'd be disappointed in whatever we'd done but we always knew she loved us.

"No she loves us regardless of the stuff we end up getting ourselves involved in."

"Yeah see, but not our mum," Craig points from Steph to himself, "It's only Jake that's perfect in her head can't do anything wrong… She's always treated Steph badly and me, well you saw last year, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive her that. At least Myra made an effort, even went to talk to her and all that, but as soon as things between us didn't work out she was back to trying to push me into being with girls, back to not understanding, back to her denial." He sighs sadly and I kiss his cheek gently in an attempt to take away all the bad Frankie related memories he has from the last couple of months.

"Sweetheart, it was a lot to take in for her, you know that."

"Yeah, but she was getting there, I mean she saw us off and was nice to you and all, and then it didn't work out and she was just nasty."

"But, that was because you didn't come home for Christmas."

"Yeah but… I didn't come home cause I wasn't ready, not ready to face all the people I'd hurt." He looks at me and I know this so I just nod my head and smile supportively.

"You should tell her, not me sweetheart, I know all this." He nods his head and smiles as I tell him this, he told me before and I know it wasn't easy for him staying in Dublin all alone. But he won't be all alone this year if we choose to stay in Dublin for Christmas, and if we don't and he still isn't speaking to his mother by then, then we can always come back and spend Christmas with my family.

"Maybe I will at some point, when I'm ready, okay?"

"When you're ready," I nod, and that closes that particular topic.

Steph has sat there looking at our interaction with a smile on her lips, "This is so lovely to see," she comments and we both frown looking confusedly at her so she rolls her eyes and elaborates, "Well you two, you're talking, you're agreeing about things, you're doing things right this time round, a proper relationship."

"What'd you think, we were just having sex or something Steph? I told you I love him and want to be with him," Craig tells her making her chuckle.

"I know Craig, but I've not seen it with my own eyes before… It's just good to see is all."

"It's good to be able to be out in public and not be scared anymore," Craig tells her honestly making her nod in understanding.

"Well you two make a cute couple," she sighs happily, making me blush and Craig grin smugly.

**Craig**

I'm glad John Paul suggested we go out and see Steph now. I really missed her, and even if we talked on the phone on a regular basis, it still wasn't the same as being able to see her in person, being able to hug her, joke with her, and just be brother and sister again like we used to be. I know she never had any problems with me being with John Paul, always supported us and she still does, as far as he's told me she's always been nice to him after I left, never said a bad word, always was sympathetic, always asking him how he was. Jack has been the same way, and Darren well he's just Darren. But mum and Jake, I'll never forgive them for the way they treated him, as if they had any right to tell him lies or be nasty towards him, idiots both of them.

He didn't deserve that, and I know he doesn't blame my mum for anything, sort of understands too, but I don't. The only one who has any right to say anything to him is me. I'm the one he left, with good reason too, which they know nothing about, and I'm the one he's in a relationship with now, me and only me. So yeah when and if I talk to my mother I'll make sure to tell her that little nugget of information.

It's good to see John Paul interact with Steph, it's good to see her being friendly towards him, and not only for my benefit, I can tell, I know her and I can tell that she's really pleased for us that we've gotten back together. I know she really likes John Paul, she's told me many times this past month, and even after we broke up, she'd give me some updates about him when I was missing him. I never asked her to and she never said why she did it, but I didn't object and I think maybe she sensed that I wasn't over him, maybe she knew we'd get back together, sisters intuition or something like that.

"Craig," I snap out of my thoughts by Steph snapping her fingers in front of my face, making me blush and look at her sheepishly.

"Sorry, what?"

She smiles, "I was just wondering if we could meet up again before you go back to Dublin,"

"Oh yeah of course," I nod my head and look over at John Paul, "I'll give you a call yeah?" I tell my sister and she nods her head in agreement.

"Great, I've gotta go now," she tells me sadly and I smile my okay to her, "But it's been good to see you, and to see you two together…" she gets up, going over to kiss John Paul's cheek and then hug him, before coming over to me, doing the same with me. "Don't ever let anyone make you feel like what you have with John Paul is wrong," she whispers in my ear, then kisses my cheek again and says bye to us. We watch her walk out of the SU bar before he sits down as I go over and order us some more beer.

As I return to the table he's smiling widely and I can't help but smile too, since he seems to be so happy. "Thanks," I tell him as I sit down, he looks at me for a moment then nods his head, knowing that I thanked him for suggesting we go out and see Steph. He just knows what I need, sometimes even before I know it, and he knew I needed to see her. I lean over and kiss him on the lips, tasting him and the beer, smiling as I pull back and just look into his eyes.

We chat about some of his mates from HCC, I know some of them, and others I'd seen around but not had much interaction with, other than when I used to serve on them in the Dog. It seems they'd had some sort of night out, planned for tonight and we had been invited, "We don't have to though if you don't want to." He tells me, and I wonder what face I pulled when he told me, to show him that I wasn't that keen on that, but he doesn't seem to mind.

"You don't mind?" I ask and he just shakes his head, "Okay, well maybe we can go out with them on Saturday, sort of celebrate your birthday type thing before the actual day, then we can have most of Sunday in private… if you want that." I bite my lip unsurely.

"Yeah sounds good," he nods his agreement, "Suppose we'll have to spend some time with my family Sunday, but other than that the rest of the day can be for us two alone." I smile because that's all I really want, I just want to spend as much time with him alone as I can, since I won't see him for a month after I go back home. "Oh and we'll have all day tomorrow for ourselves too. I've set up something for our sort of anniversary," he tells me with a secretive look making me grin sheepishly.

"What?" I ask. I am curious and I like to know things, but he just shrugs and bites his lip.

"Hmm, well you'll see… But it does involve sherry." He chuckles making me laugh, I know I won't get it out of him now, so I won't try, it'll just be a waste of my breath.

"I'm sure it'll be amazing, whatever it is you've got planned for us." I smile warmly as I cup his face, before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "Home now?" I wonder as I sit back watching him finish off his beer, he looks at me for a moment, reaching out his hand to brush over my lips and my mole, then kissing me on the lips.

"Home now," he tells me as he gets up and grips my hand, pulling me up. We head for the door, him stopping in front of it turning and kissing me again, harder this time. I sigh happily and let his tongue venture into my mouth, let him taste all of me. We only part when I hear this strangled noise coming from behind him, and looking behind him we see Sarah with Elliot right behind her. She has this hurt expression in her eyes that I last saw that day at the Dog when I told her I wanted to be with John Paul. The second time she'd thrown herself at me, and I rejected her. I really have nothing to say to her, so I look at Elliot, giving him a nod in greeting, which he kindly returns, then give John Paul's hand a squeeze making him turn to look at me.

"Come on, let's go home," I tell him, making him nod, I press another kiss to his lips and then lead us out of the SU bar, hearing him say bye to Elliot as we walk away.

"You okay?" he asks after a bit, I nod as I look at him.

"Yeah I'm fine, I suppose I've said all I want to say to her, all I need to say to her, but she still looks hurt…" I sigh for a second, "Still don't suppose she was expecting to see me back here anytime soon." I shrug and he nods as we continue walking.

"She knows about us being back together though," he tells me and for some reason that doesn't surprise me.

"Hannah told her?" I wonder but no.

"I wish, then at least she'd have gotten to know from a person who's a friend," he shakes his head and stops walking as do I, "No you see Michaela told her, seems Sarah had brushed her off or something, and well you know how Michaela gets, she just snapped and told her off over at Mobs,"

"Oh…" I bite my lip and nod my head.

"Don't think she believed Michaela though, or maybe hoped it was a lie, but suppose she knows now, eh?" He looks at me to see my reaction, and I nod with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah she does… She knew I wanted you anyways, suppose she was pleased when I went to Dublin on my own, but yeah she knows now, for sure, that it's you I want to be with, you I love." I tell him and after a moment he smiles and presses a kiss to my lips.

I could almost sense the anxiety leaving him, and in a way I do understand him being worried about me seeing Sarah, but there's nothing there anymore. I have no feelings for her, I did care for her at a point in time, but once my feelings, my love for John Paul took over she never stood a chance. "It'll always be you John Paul, always." I tell him as we continue walking back to his house and he smiles and presses a happy kiss to my cheek.

**That's all for now. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi there to anyone who's still reading this. Sorry for the lack of updates recently, it's all ready but I've just not felt like updating. **

**But you know, show must go on and all that, so here's another little chapter, and there will be one more tonight. **

**The main problem I'm having is the lack of motivation to write more, I've got about 15-20 chapters left that are written and beyond that I'm just stuck. But I will finish this, I just need the motivation back. *goes to watch some McDean***

**Anyways do enjoy.**

**Craig**

I kiss his head lovingly as I watch him sleep, he's right, there is something calming about watching the person you love sleep, well I'd kept him busy for a while, so no wonder my blond angel fell asleep.

I'd woke him up by kissing and sucking my way down his body to his cock, then when he'd come I'd crept up to him wishing him a happy sort of anniversary, making him chuckle, "Where are the tears and the confusion sweetheart?" he'd teased me and I'd thumped him, making him pout adorably. I then kissed him to make it all better, which it did, and he brought me off expertly with his hand while his tongue was in my mouth.

Once my orgasm had passed, he was hard as a rock and I'd rolled down on my back, opening up my legs for him, smiling as he placed himself between them and hoisted them up to rest on his shoulders. He prepared me with the lube, then coated his cock and made love to me. We both came at the same time him pulsing inside of me as my second orgasm was ripped from me at the same time, covering our stomachs and his hand. He'd stayed on top of me for a while after, recovering as we just made out, me with my arms wrapped around his back.

After he pulled out of me and rolled to the side, we lay there for a bit just smiling and loving each other, and after a while he drifted off. He looked so adorable as he tried to fight it, tried to stay awake, but he hardly can stay awake after sex, and I had just lay there looking at him, brushing away his hair from his forehead, and simply kissing his face.

I kiss him again, then get out of bed, pull on one of the dressing gowns, gather a few things from my bag and then leave the room, heading for the bathroom. I stand by the mirror looking at my reflection and notice that I just seem to look happier, I'd looked in the mirror yesterday at home and I'd just looked sort of old, but now I just look happy, and I know it's all because of him, because of John Paul. Smiling to myself, I brush my teeth and decide against shaving, he's told me he loves my stubble so I'm going to leave it, I'd shaved the other day so it's still not too long, I'll shave for his birthday, yeah on Sunday I'd shave.

I turn on the water and step in under the warm jets, washing my body, cleaning it from all the bodily fluids that had dried up on it yesterday and today, we'd had loads of sex already. Once we got in from our evening out last night we'd gone straight to the bedroom and had had a marathon session, he'd fucked me in every single possible way that the bed had allowed, and it had been an added challenge to keep as quiet as possible, don't really know if we'd pulled it off, but while we were in the moment we hadn't given a damn.

I decide against having a wank in the shower, even if my cock is rock hard just by thinking about all the sex we've had, my orgasms on this visit are reserved for him, so instead I wash my hair and then finally turn off the hot water, giving myself a cold shower until my cock has gone soft. I turn off the water and step out, dry myself off with the towel, put on the dressing gown, gather up my things and leave the bathroom.

He's still asleep as I enter the room, and I can't resist kissing him, which rouses him from his slumber, he opens his eyes slowly, and then yawns before reaching out for my face, pulling me down so that he can kiss me on the lips. "Hmm, your hair is wet," he grumbles still half asleep, as he pulls back.

"Yeah haven't dried it yet," I tell him as I step back from the bed, and dry my hair with the towel. As I finish he's sat up in the bed looking at me and smiling, "What?"

"Nothing, you just look hot," he says as he bites his lower lip.

"Shut up," I chuckle and shake my head as I toss the towel over at him, and head over to get some clothes. His eyes are on my body from the second I take off the dressing gown, I can feel them burning on my back, so I turn and face him as I pull on my boxers, feeling the heat of his gaze on my groin, then my jeans and finally one of my shirts, making him groan as I button it up, I look at him quizzically but he just gives me this look that just warms my heart.

Smiling I go and sit down on the bed, pressing a soft kiss to his lips as I do so, then put on my socks and shoes. "How about you get your gorgeous self in the bathroom, wash up and then meet me downstairs for some breakfast, eh?" I ask him, then sigh contentedly as he brushes his hands through my hair, fixing it into some style that he likes, before nodding his head, kissing me, then he gets up, puts on his dressing gown, gathers his things and looks at me. I get up and we leave the room together, him heading for the bathroom, with one last kiss to my lips and I head down the stairs.

I'm whistling that song that was playing last year when we first made love, it's my favorite song, despite all the stuff that happened afterwards, despite us breaking up, that song always made me think of him, always made me cheer up to know that that song was ours. Sometimes I'd cry when it came on cause I really missed him, but now I just smile and think of how much I love him whenever it is on the radio.

I reach the bottom of the stairs and I'm in a wonderful mood, I hear Myra bustling about in the kitchen and smile as I head out there, "Morning Myra," I say happily and she turns smiling as she sees me.

"Morning love," I freeze as I reach the counter and see Kieron sat there, I offer some polite smile before turning to look at Myra. "Oh eh.. This is Father Kieron, you met yesterday…" she mumbles and looks from me to Kieron, "and this is Craig, John Paul's boyfriend." She says as she formally introduces us, I shake my head slightly and internally utter a few choice curse words about this bloody priest, but still I hold out my hand in way of a greeting, he grasps it and shakes it, before going back to drinking his coffee. "Can I get you anything love?" Myra asks me as I draw my hand back to myself, but I just shake my head.

"No thanks, I just came down to make us some breakfast while JP is in the shower," I smile, "I think something light though, he's got something planned for us today," I continue as I spot the cereal and grab one of the packs placing it on the counter, before heading for the fridge and getting out the milk.

"Oh has he?" Myra wonders and I nod my head.

"Yeah, it's…" I think about how much I can say without embarrassing her and us, "It's sort of our anniversary today," I bite my lip, "Ehm last year today was the first time we really admitted that we loved each other." I smile cause in a way that is the truth. Myra gets this expression on her face, something between adoration and pride and nods her head as I scurry around her getting out bowls, spoons, some glasses and some juice.

I leave Myra and Kieron to it and head for the sofa, dropping down and waiting for John Paul to come down, I frown and wonder why the fuck Kieron is in the house now, he doesn't live here and I'd like to think he has breakfast over at where he lives now, but him and Myra are chatting away in the kitchen while having their breakfast, it makes no sense. I shake and then turn my head to look at the stairs as I hear someone coming down, and it's him. His face lights up when he sees me and he comes over to me, dropping down in my lap, practically swallowing my mouth with his in a warm lingering kiss.

Wrapping my arm around his waist I hold him there as I make myself comfortable and we carry on kissing for a bit, he tastes of toothpaste and John Paul and it's a lovely combination. Resting my forehead against his I look into his eyes and smile, "Kieron is sat in there with your mum," John Paul sighs and the look in his eyes tells me that he really doesn't want to see him today, "We can just have our breakfast and then do something else, go somewhere else if you want."

Nodding his head, he sighs and presses a kiss to my lips again before getting up and pulling me up with him, "Yeah let's just get out of here and go into Chester or something," he tells me then leads us to the kitchen. "Morning mum," he warmly greets Myra then sits down in front of one of the plates I'd set out for us, "Kieron," he says without even looking at him, before continuing, "So what brings you round here, yet again," I raise my eyebrow at his tone, which doesn't go unnoticed by Myra either.

"John Paul!" she says sternly and looks from her son to Kieron, "I'm sorry father, my son obviously forgot his manners today." John Paul's head snaps up at this and he sends his mother a deadly glare.

"No my manners are reserved for people who deserve them, and I'm only wondering why he's round here eating our breakfast, I can't believe that Niall doesn't have any food at all in his home." I just look on as John Paul seemingly out of nowhere has a go at Kieron.

"John Paul you apologize to Father Kieron this second," Myra tells him angrily but he just stands up and looks her straight in the eyes.

"No, I don't have anything to apologize for, last time I checked, breakfast in this house was only for people who live here, or have spent the night here, and hmm, let me see he doesn't fall in either of those categories, does he now?" He shakes his head at his mother, as I grip his hand, squeezing it, making him look at me, look into my eyes, with which I implore him to drop this and just sit down.

"John Paul McQueen," Myra shoots him her own glare, but he won't back off now, and me trying to get him to stop has obviously failed so I just look on to see which one of them will back down first.

"Perhaps I should go," Kieron says from his end of the counter and begins to get up.

"No, you sit right down Father, my son will be apologizing to you shortly,"

"Fat chance," John Paul replies instantly and I am pretty sure it's taking all of Myra self-restraint not to smack him upside the head. "Now I believe I asked a question, any one of you care to answer it?" he continues as he looks from his mother to Kieron.

"Father Kieron here was asking me about an article he wanted to do about you," Myra tells John Paul and he looks from her to Kieron, as do I, "Wasn't that right Father?"

"Yes," Kieron says as he looks at John Paul, "It's an article about young people and the church, their stories and such," I look at John Paul who looks at me with this disbelieving look in his eyes.

"It's a wonderful idea father, and John Paul will gladly do this,"

"Like hell I will," John Paul says instantly not even giving his mother any time to finish what she was saying, "It's my life, my bloody decision and I'm saying no, go find some other young person and talk to them."

"You're doing this John Paul,"

"No, I'm not… and if there is any mention of me in this article when it does come out… Well you'll both regret it, believe me!" he warns his mother and then looks over at Kieron, "And don't think I'm kidding either," he finishes and then grips my hand, "Come on Craig, let's go, can't stay here for another minute."

"John Paul," Myra calls out and he stops, turning to look at her.

"I said no, and I mean no, now I think it's best if I leave right now, unless you want me to say something that'll end up hurting us both." He tells his mother, once more cutting her off, then without waiting for a reply from her he drags me out of the house slamming the door shut behind us.

**John Paul**

"Why the hell can't he just leave me alone, article about youths and the church my arse, as if, that was just his way of trying to be alone with me, trying to convince me to be with him again, fucking wanker." John Paul is on a rant and I just nod and listen to what he's saying, "How many times, I'm with Craig, I'm with Craig, I'm with Craig… you'd think he'd get the bleeping message, but noooo, has to hang around the bloody house all the fucking time, eating our food, watching our TV, giving us advice, thinking he knows better, but he doesn't, he's just a saddo closet case hiding behind the church." I chuckle at this making him stop and glare at me, before continuing to walk, pulling me along with him.

"It's not for that much longer John Paul," I tell him after a while of him just venting some more and me listening to him, "And he's going to be at the house since him and your mum are close, suppose she can tell him things that she can't tell others, like her secrets and stuff like that, her worries about all you guys and such," he sighs at this and visibly deflates before looking at me as we stop at Mobs.

"Suppose so, but it's just weird cause of… you know," he sighs again and I know, I nod my head and wrap my arms around him, pulling him in for a hug.

"Just a couple of months John Paul and then you won't have to worry about him anymore." I tell him as I hold him close to me, "Just a couple of months and we'll be living together, working together, everything together, every day." He pulls back slightly, staying in my arms and smiles as I say that.

"Sounds wonderful, I wish it was happening now though," I nod my head, I wish it was happening now too, but it's not that long and we'll be busy with our exams soon enough so the time will fly by.

"Okay so since we stormed out of the house, before having our breakfast, how about I buy us one of these drinks here, eh?" I wonder making John Paul chuckle and nod his head. We end up getting a strawberry surprise and a grapefruit mango and sit down at one of the tables drinking them.

"So much has changed here these last couple of months," John Paul tells me as he looks around, "People have come and gone," he sighs. "You'd have liked Summer, she was a great girl, funny, beautiful, could sing and was a good mate."

I'd heard about Summer from Steph, though take all the good things John Paul has just said, and replace them with the most terrible words you can find and you'll have what Steph had told me. But at least she'd made OB happy, which was good, he was a loner type person in this village, sort of like me, and he deserved to be happy, just like me.

"You think?"

"Yeah, I know, she liked everyone from the get go, good judge of character and all…" he sighs slightly, "I sort of miss her sometimes, cause she was this outsider, didn't have any real connections to anyone here before coming to study at HCC, so she didn't have any preconceived notions about me, didn't hate me."

"She was a friend when you had no one else because of me?" I wonder and he shakes his head with a sad smile.

"Not because of you sweetheart, and I had friends, still have them, I just missed the old ones I had, missed my best mate most of all." I nod thoughtfully, he'd been somewhat open about telling me how his life had been after I had left, but sometimes he'd just clam up and that'd be it.

"Well I'm glad you had her as a friend, even if it was only for a short period." I say as he sips from his drink and smiles at me. "And I am sorry, for everything."

"There's no need sweetheart, it's all done, we're sorted, we love each other and that's all that matters," he's still smiling and I nod my head, though I can't help but feel a bit guilty that I had just left and let him take all the abuse. "Besides if I hadn't left you that day, then I'd never have gotten some of the friendships I have with people now. I know none of them will ever match the friendship I have with you, but I'm not exactly the loner type person, not everyone judged me you know, some people were understanding, and as I say it's over, so don't you start worrying about that, that's not what this visit of yours is about, is it?" I smile shyly and shake my head, this was not what this visit was about at all.

"I'm sorry," he chuckles and so do I, I reach out and grip his hand in mine, "I don't know, but just being back here, it's weird, cause this isn't home anymore, this is just the place my boyfriend is living for the time being, and all the memories I have from here, I'd… well quite honestly I'd only want to keep the ones I have about you and me in Hollyoaks, and rather just forget about everything else…" I sigh as I look around at the stores, at the fountain at the Loft at everything and then just rest my gaze on him, "this place, I don't think I've ever been as lonely as I was while I lived here, before you came into my life John Paul, I really had nothing and no one.. Now I have the one and I have something, we have something special and this place, it's just where we met, where we first fell in love…"

"Where we hurt each other," he continues for me, making me nod my head, "Where we hid away, where you let your fears control you…" I continue to nod my head as I look into his eyes, but he isn't saying these things accusingly, he's just stating the facts, "This place is where our lives changed Craig, we both weren't ready for the proper thing, not back then…" he pauses for a minute then smiles lovingly, "But now, from now on, this place will be the place that we met, the place that we fell in love, the place where we both made big mistakes but also the place where those mistakes were rectified."

"I suppose,"

"Craig do you know why it meant so much for me to have you come back here?" he asks and I look at him shaking my head slightly, he'd said it meant something to him to be able to show everyone that we were together that despite it all we'd made it, and I told him as much, which made him chuckle and nod his head. "That's partly why sweetheart, but I wanted you to come back here and face your demons," I frown at this and he gets up, drags his chair over to mine and sits down again, gripping my hand he continues, "I wanted you to come back to this place so that all the fears you had in here," he points to my head then cups my face, gently stroking his thumb over my cheek, "I wanted them to go away, I know you're not ashamed to be with me anymore, but I also know that this place had some sort of hold over you, crippling you, making you see things that weren't there," he smiles gently, "it was important to me to show you that this is just another place in England, nothing else, just the place our families live, it's not dangerous, it's not frightening, it's just Hollyoaks where people live their lives like anywhere else."

"I know that," I chuckle slightly as I look into his eyes, "I always knew that, but well it was weird you know, going from never having any sort of feelings for a bloke, to being head over heels in love with one, I just, well you know how my family is, you know what I've been told from when I was a small child. I suppose I saw what we had as something dirty or wrong, and not me, but I couldn't stop the feelings I had, I didn't want to either, honestly, but I knew it was wrong because that's what I'd been told. Like I had no problems with gay people, I just knew I wasn't one and then when I fell for you, well it really scared me because it wasn't me, was it now, I've always been a ladies man…"

"Not a very good one," he teases making me chuckle and punch him on the shoulder.

"Oi," I cup his face, "Not a very good one, yeah, but still that was who I was, and then you came into my life and changed it completely, and I suppose just having been brought up with those ideas I always thought that people would judge me, hate me, if I was gay, and I just wasn't ready…" I sigh sadly, "Then when I went to Dublin, when I saw gay couples, it just hurt me, because well there's nothing wrong in that, I just saw things with a fresh pair of eyes in a way, cause if it's okay in a place as big as Dublin then surely it's okay anywhere else."

"It is, there's nothing wrong in us being together, we don't control who we fall in love with Craig,"

"I know that JP, I think I always knew that, but the fear I had, it was just too strong, stronger than the love I had for you back then."

"Well not anymore, now I know your love for me is stronger than anything else in this world."

"It is," I press my lips to his, "It really is John Paul, it will always be, and this place…" I look around again, "It's not so scary anymore, you and me being together here, it makes sense, it always did, but I needed to be away from here to see that it was okay for me to have these feelings for you, that it was okay for me to love you, you know?" I sigh not knowing if I've made any sense but he's smiling and I can see the love for me shining in his beautiful eyes and I know he understands me.

"I know sweetheart, I've always known, and you don't even know what it does to me to see you back here, to see you walking proudly with your hand in mine, not a care in the world if people are looking or not, it's just…" he brushes his thumb over my cheek as he looks into my eyes, "It means the world to me sweetheart, and I had to have you come here for your sake too, and I think it's worked… Hasn't it?"

I think about it for a moment as I look at him, and it has worked, I think being away from here made me see things clearly. I know I was dreading coming back here, dreading having to face people, but I don't anymore, I mean they can come and confront me if they want, but it won't make any difference to me, I'm not going to run away, I'm not going to hide, I won't make him hide again.

I'm proud to be in a relationship with him and I don't care who knows, "It's worked John Paul, this place doesn't scare me anymore, people here don't scare me anymore, they can look and they can point their fingers and whisper and I won't care, I have you in my life, and that means more to me than anything else."

"I'm glad," he tells me as he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. "It's not a scary place and if anyone has anything to say they'll have to say it to us, not you and not me, but us, cause I'm always going to be there, protecting you, just like you'll always be there protecting me," he breathes in deeply before pulling his head back and looking at me with a loving expression on his face, "I trust you sweetheart, I know you'll never hurt me again."

"I won't, never, you mean too much to me John Paul, I can't, I won't… I won't lose you again, and I'll always be there to protect you when you need me to, always." I tell him as I cup his face, brushing my thumbs over his cheeks, before leaning in and kissing him tenderly on his lips, resting my forehead against his and just looking into his eyes. He is the single most important person in my life and that's all that matters to me, he's all that matters to me.

"You're my everything," he whispers quietly making me smile and kiss him again.

"You're my everything too, JP, always and forever." I reply making him smile and just look lovingly into my eyes, almost knocking the breath out of me. He's so beautiful and he's mine, mine alone.

We sit like that, forehead resting against forehead for a while, just looking into each other's eyes and undoubtedly grinning like morons, and it's perfect. I know some people have arrived, I can hear people having conversations around us, but we're in our own bubble and it's just wonderful. He's the one to pull away first, sighing happily he sits back in the chair and looks around, then glances down to his watch. I sit up properly and look at him, there's this comfortable silence between us for a moment, with him just smiling, a look of utter happiness written all over his face.

"Let's go into Chester, have a look around in the stores," he says after a while as he looks over at me, "Our celebration thingy isn't until in the evening anyways and I don't feel like going back home just yet,"

Smiling I get up and hold out my hand for him to grasp, with which I pull him up to his feet, "Sure, any store in particular?" I wonder and he blushes as he bites his lips, "Ah, the record store?" I chuckle and he nods his head, "Well come on then," we set off, heading for the bus stop.

**Thanks for reading. Next bit contains a bit of smutty action, just a tad bit.**


	20. Chapter 20

**The smutty bit is well somewhat smutty. :P**

**John Paul**

This morning had been rather wonderful, until I got down to the kitchen and saw bloody Kieron sitting there with mum, I don't really know what came over me, but I made it perfectly clear to him that I didn't want him to be in my house, which just made my mum angry, since he is a priest. Then that entire story about an article about me, as if, naturally my mum had practically accepted for me, but last I checked it was still my life and my decision and if there is even the slightest mention of me in that bloody article of his, if there is even an article, which I highly doubt, then he'll be sorry, and so will she.

Luckily I left the house before I said something stupid to her. I love my mum, and she'll always be my mum, but once we get angry in our family we say stupid things that hurt. Luckily having Craig there somehow stopped me from saying something hurtful. I don't think he was expecting me to go off like that, don't really think I had expected to do so either, but I just snapped.

But despite that little glitch in this our sort of anniversary day, the rest of it had gone about without any problems, well after I finished my bloody rant about Kieron and after we'd sat down at Mobs and just talked about Craig overcoming his fears of this village. It had been like seeing a weight go off his shoulders last night when we'd gone out and he hadn't freaked out when we bumped into Sarah.

I know he's changed, I know he loves me and I know he's not ashamed, I know all that, but I also knew how being seen with me in Hollyoaks made him feel. I knew about his paranoia and I knew about everything his bloody mother and brother had told him about gay people, but there wasn't a trace of that at all today or yesterday. Yes he'd said he had been dreading coming back here, but I think that had gone out of his body the moment he saw me in the airport and then when we'd walked through the village, when we'd been in the SU bar, when he saw Steph's reaction to us being together. I think it really helped him to see that this place, this village isn't some scary place, it's just like any other place in this country or in Ireland, where some people will approve, some won't, most people won't say anything, some will, but that goes for all sorts of couples, not just the same sex ones.

He seemed to have gotten that, seemed to understand that this place is the same as everywhere else. In the back of my mind I had feared he'd go back into hiding while being back here, but he'd really surprised me, and well if I wasn't sure before, then I am now. I am really his main priority, I am the one he loves and wants to be with, and I couldn't love him any more for it, even if I tried.

"You all set?" I look at him and the butterflies in my stomach do summersaults, he's so gorgeous and he's mine, my boyfriend, my Craig Dean.

We'd gone to Chester, looked around in some of the stores, then headed for my favorite records store, my little sanctuary when I needed to cool down, a place where I could find some great vinyl's to some rather affordable prices. I'd found a couple of cool things today too, and there was this really rare record there too, which I simply had to have. Craig had commented on how this was my addiction like shoes are to most women, making us both laugh, but he was right, this is something that means a lot to me, music, this is what I want to do with my life, and once I've set my mind on something, I will make it happen.

He'd taken the records out of my hand and paid for them before I'd even managed to object, said I could look at it as either an anniversary present or an early birthday present, not letting me object he simply kissed me on the lips and then handed me the bag with a smile on his lips. I'd have to repay him for this later on, and I would, big time.

"Yeah all set sweetheart," I tell him with a smile as he looks questioningly at me.

We'd gone to have some lunch at a diner and had just sat for a bit talking after finishing our meal, glancing at my watch I realize that we better get back and get ready for the small date I've set up for us.

I'd talked to Jacqui and then Tina, and they'd both talked to Tony and Dom and somehow the two guys had agreed to let me, well us, have a special date in their home, with a home cooked meal made by Dom for us and we'd have the flat to ourselves for a couple of hours. I'd have loved to take him out to Il Gnosh, but I figured I'd want something more private for this anniversary, just us two, besides we could always go out for lunch at Il Gnosh tomorrow, or for my birthday, but our anniversary I wanted to have just for us.

We arrive back in Hollyoaks and head straight home, we've got an hour or so left before we have to go out again, and that'd give us just enough time to get dressed and then head out again. "So where are we going tonight?" he asks me eagerly as we approach my house but I just smile and shrug my shoulders, "Oh come on, you can't even give me a little hint?" he whines adorably and I chuckle.

"Nope sorry, but you'll see soon enough, we just have to get dressed and then head out again."

"Well is it somewhere fancy, cause I didn't bring anything fancy with me," he wonders as he looks at me but I just chuckle at that and shake my head.

"You'll look wonderful no matter what you wear sweetheart," he frowns at this so I relent and give him something, "It's nothing fancy, just jeans and shirt combo will do, you'll see, now come on." I tell him as I unlock the door, him going in before me, turning to face me as soon as he's inside.

"So it's somewhere in the village or are we going out to Chester again?" he's so curious it's just adorable. I walk in and press a warm kiss to his lips, wrapping my arms around him at the same time. He sighs happily, parting his lips and allowing my tongue entry into his mouth. My hand begins a downwards journey, stopping at his perfect arse, cupping and groping it as I taste the insides of his mouth.

"You'll see soon enough Craig," I tell him as we part, "Now get your perfect arse upstairs and let's get changed eh." He flushes slightly then nods his head. I turn to close the door, and only then notice that my mum is sat there with Kieron, both of them having watched our little display of affection. Well they couldn't have missed it even if they wanted to, I roll my eyes as I see Kieron sat there, "Still here eh? One would think you had no job with all the time you're at our house lately."

I shake my head and am about to say something else, when I feel Craig tugging at my arm, looking at him I can tell he wants me to stop whatever it is I'm about to do, so I do, I simply smile at Craig, then giving his hand a squeeze I turn and walk us both up to my room.

We barely make it into the room, before I am all over him again. I push him up against the closed door and devour his mouth, kissing him hard and long as I begin to grind my body against his, only letting him pull back once in a while for a breath of air before taking possession of his mouth again.

We both grow hard within minutes of this and as I kiss him I reach between us, open his pants and delve my hand inside, caressing his cock through his boxers, making him whimper and buck his hips in need of more, and I give him more.

I drop to my knees, pulling his jeans and boxers down until they're hanging around his ankles. I take him into my mouth and he cries out my name almost instantly, practically begging me for more as I lick slowly around the sensitive head, making him whimper when I force my tongue into the slit, lapping up the pre cum.

Coating my fingers with saliva, I reach behind him and breach his tight hole, he doesn't last long with this double assault of his senses and once I begin to massage his prostate I feel his legs go weak, I sense his orgasm and moments later I taste it as he comes with a throaty groan.

As soon as I've swallowed all of his seed, I turn him around to face the door, and part his cheeks with my hands, then I begin to assault him with my tongue, preparing him for my aching cock. The moment my tongue connects with his puckered hole he lets out a howl, we'd done this before, and I know he loves it, I know it sends a thrill through his entire body, and I love doing this to him. I love pleasuring him, I love showing him things he didn't know about before, love to make him feel like the prince he is.

It doesn't take me long to loosen him up, he's relaxed and into it so there's no real hold up, and as I plunge my tongue deeper into him, he pushes his arse back towards me, so that I literally have all of him on my face, "More… More John Paul," he call out in his needy voice and I chuckle, making him groan as I chuckle into his ass, the vibration coursing though him. I feel him shiver and I chuckle again while my tongue is inside of him and he shivers again. "Fuck me John Paul…. Fuck… oh God… me.." he groans out loudly and I kiss his cheek, giving it a light smack as I get up and open my pants, pulling out my hard cock. I head over to the drawer getting out the bottle of lube and after covering my cock with the liquid, I return to my boyfriend who's watching me from the door.

I plant a kiss on his lips as I position myself behind him, two lube covered fingers almost instantly going back inside of him, I twist them around making sure to make him all wet and slick for me and as I press against his prostate he begins to rock his hips, fucking himself with my fingers, he's ready and horny as fuck. I pull out my fingers and replace them with my cock, almost instantly sliding all the way inside of him.

He lets out an animalistic growl and moments later cries out as I wrap my hand around his reawakened cock. Slowly, I begin to fuck him until he screams at me to get a move on, "Do it properly JP, do your job properly," he tells me in no uncertain terms as he pushes back hard against me, making me slam into him harder than I intended too, but he seems to want it harder this time round, so I put all my strength into it and stroke him in time with my thrusting.

The sounds he makes when I do that, he's not the loudest person in the world, but when we have sex, well he can scream like no one's business, and well if there were any people left in the house by now they'd for sure know what we were up to. "John Paul… JP… Oh God… Joooohn… Paaaaul," Craig cries out moments before his cock erupts in my hand, splattering the door with his second orgasm, his arse clenches around me while I'm inside of him making it tighter and the friction this creates makes me come.

"Oh God, Craig… Sweetheart, I love you," I groan into his ear as I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me as my orgasm soars through my body, my seed filling him up. I suck on his neck while I pulsate inside of him, only pulling back when he lets out a small whimper to see that I've marked him. My knees buckle and had he not reached behind him, and held me I'd have fallen backwards pulling him with me.

He turns us so that we can lean against the door and after having caught my breath I pull out of him. He turns to face me with a wide smile on his lips and love shining through his eyes. We stand like that for a bit, just looking at each other, then kissing, until I regain my strength and take off all my clothes. I put on a fresh pair of boxers, some jeans and one of my shirts, then watch him as he does the same, he fixes his hair slightly, then when we've both gotten dressed and I've cleaned up the door, I grip his hand and walk us down the stairs.

"Where are we going?" he begins as we walk down the stairs and I chuckle, turning to face him when I reach the door.

"Patience sweetheart, you'll see in about 10 minutes," he's excited, I know he is, that look in his eyes is just beyond priceless, it makes me feel proud that I can excite him like this by just taking him out, I hope he likes what I've got planned though. It hadn't taken much to get Tina and Dom to clear out for the evening, Jacqui and Tony were away on vacation so I needn't worry about them.

We're snapped out of our little moment by someone clearing their throat, and looking towards the sound I see my mum and then Kieron appear from the kitchen. Mum seemingly isn't able to look at us and it takes me all of two seconds to figure out that she and Kieron most likely heard us before, but I chuckle, give a small shrug, then open the door and head out with Craig right behind me.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi there, sorry for the lack of updates. I've just not felt like posting, and I'm still experiencing the worst case of writers block ever, so I'm trying to make the chapters I have done, last for a while. **

**I've been a bit lazy this time, not done proof reading, so this is what I wrote on the day that I wrote it, no corrections no nothing, just what was in my head that particular day. **

**Craig**

Now I'm not entirely sure, but I think he might have done the entire sex thing to show Kieron he wanted him to get lost. It didn't feel like it, it didn't feel like his head was anywhere else than focused on pleasuring me, but who knows, and honestly who cares. I'd gotten a nice round of sex and a great blowjob out of it, if he gets like that when he wants people to get lost, then he can use me whenever he wants.

He'd gotten this slightly smug expression on his face when we'd come downstairs and Myra and Kieron had walked in from the kitchen, but then he'd just chuckled, shrugged and walked us out the house. I'd noticed that Myra had problems with looking at us, but given how loud we… well I was, then no wonder, I doubt any mother would want to hear her son having sex with anyone, let alone his boyfriend, while she's sat downstairs with the local priest, who slept with her son, but she doesn't know this. But yeah JP didn't seem to be too bothered about it, and I've decided to follow his example.

He won't tell me where we're going, but judging by the direction we're walking, I'm suspecting us to go to Il Gnosh, and I dunno why, but I am slightly disappointed, I mean it's a lovely place and I love being with John Paul regardless of where we are, but it's our anniversary and Il Gnosh isn't really that special a place, is it now. I am slightly shocked though when instead of heading for the restaurant he takes us up the stairs, past Sarah's house, and inside of where his sisters live, "John Paul what…" he winks and shakes his head as he knocks and moments later Tina opens the door welcoming us inside, kissing his cheek and then mine too, which just makes me blush, cause I didn't really expect this sort of welcome.

"I hope this is okay John Paul," she tells her brother and as I follow the direction of her hand I see a table that is set in the middle of the room, with candles, flowers and everything, looking questioningly at him I see him nod his head.

"Yeah, it's perfect Teen," he smiles to her.

"The food is in the oven, all plated so you just have to take it out, and dessert is in the freezer, oh and the appetizers will be done in a minute," Tina tells us as John Paul walks us over to the table and holds out my chair, bidding me to sit down, which I do, and smile as he sits down opposite me. Tina brings out a bottle of wine, for John Paul to taste and when he nods approvingly she pours us both a glass. She leaves us for a moment to go check on something in the kitchen and I lean in to look at John Paul.

"She's going to be here all the time?" he chuckles and shakes his head, reaching out to take hold of my hand.

"No sweetheart, she'll leave soon, it's just you and me, our private date of sorts," he informs me making me smile and press a soft kiss to the palm of his hand.

Tina comes back with our appetizers, shrimp salad, placing it on our plates she steps back and looks proudly at us, before heading for the door, "You two enjoy your evening, and plates go in the dishwasher, yeah?" she says with a laugh making John Paul chuckle and tell her that yeah we'd do that, and with that she leaves us.

"I hope you don't mind me doing this in private," John Paul tells me just as I dig in into my shrimp salad and before I can react he continues, "It's just, I dunno feels right to do this privately, just you and me since what we're celebrating was just for you and me, that entire day, everything that happened it's private, you know." He blushes slightly and it warms my heart.

"I don't mind at all John Paul, this is perfect, just you and me, no interruptions no nothing, and everything has been cooked for us, so all we need to do is get it, eat it and have a good time."

He nods his head happily as he begins to eat his food, and it's a good salad, "This is good," I tell him and he nods his head, telling me that Tina had gotten Dom to make everything for us, and that the salad was one of her specialties, something Dom had taught her to make. It's a good thing we only had a light lunch, cause well this salad would fill most people right up, I suspect this was made especially for us, and that they don't use that many shrimps in this thing when making it in the restaurant, but hey if this is one of the perks of being John Paul's boyfriend then I'm all for it.

Looking over at him I see he's beaming, the joy in him is infectious and I am pretty sure I'm grinning like an idiot too while I eat my food, but how can I not with him sat right there looking so beautiful. I reach out to him and gently brush away some of the dressing that's got on his chin, smiling as he sighs happily, leans in to my touch and closes his eyes. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" I tell him as he opens his eyes to look at me and instantly he blushes and looks down, clearly not used to hearing such things, and that's my fault really, I don't say it enough, but I know he knows that I think them, but I'll make an effort of saying them more. "You are John Paul, no need to blush, you mean the world to me and I can't wait for us to start our lives together."

He looks up then and the smile on his face is wider than wide, the joy is shining out of him and I am glad that I got such a reaction out of him, because I know that I hurt him last year, I know I kept making promises and kept breaking them, but now, everything I tell him, I truly mean it, I know, finally I know what I really want and even though we've barely been back together for a month I know that what we have is for keeps, I can't ever love anyone as much as I love him, my everything belongs to him, I'm his for as long as he wants me, and I hope he wants me forever. I sigh happily and smile at him as I take a sip of my wine.

**John Paul**

As we finish the rather delicious steak meal, Craig excuses himself, going to the bathroom and I clear our plates, loading them into the dishwasher, before sitting back down and topping up our glasses of wine. It's been a really wonderful evening and meal so far, it's as if he's trying to show me that he is really committed to this, to us, but he doesn't have to, because I know he is, I can tell from the way he's been behaving ever since we got back together. He really caught me off guard earlier though, when he said I was beautiful, I don't get that much, I mean blokes don't really say that to each other do they now? I've said it to him a couple of times and he's said it back too, and meant it, but it was just more meaningful today, made me feel loved, really loved, maybe it's because last year we'd just slept together and then he hurled abuse at me before legging it, while now we're both at a stage in our lives where we know what we want, where we're secure enough in our own skin to go out and get it, he secure enough to walk down the street holding hands and not feel embarrassed and I am secure enough to know that we don't need that display of affection to know that we have a proper relationship to know that he loves me.

It was all new to me last year too, I mean I had only had Spike as a boyfriend and he was used to all the holding hands stuff, and I figured that maybe that was what a relationship was all about, cause it was somewhat the same with Hannah, but I'd not had relationships before those two, and well turns out that you don't need all that to be in a proper relationship. I tried to force things with Craig when he wasn't ready, I know that now, he explained his side of the story to me and I respect him for it, he also knows why I was pushing forward like that in the airport and he understands, I suppose despite the love we had for each other, because I don't doubt for a minute that he really did love me back then, despite it though, we just had different views on what our relationship was supposed to look like back then, he wanted it to go slowly, wanted to be in control in a way, and I just wanted to scream from the rooftops that he was mine.

Well as we both know that broke us apart, but I'm glad that we have this second chance, we both did some growing up while apart and it's done us a lot of good. I can honestly say I have never been happier with my life than I am currently, I have the love of my life back in my life, I'm going to live with him soon, I've landed what can only be described as the job of a lifetime and best of all, we're both happy to be together, there isn't the slightest hint of shame or insecurity with regards to our relationship from either one of us, I trust him completely and I know he trusts me completely.

"Hey," he whispers as he comes up behind me and kisses my cheek, I turn my head and smile as I take him in, he's so perfect and he is mine, sometimes I pinch myself because I can't believe it, but he really is mine, all of him is mine and it'll stay like that if I have any say about it.

"Hey," I return and watch as he sits down and drinks some of his wine, "Dessert?" I wonder making him smile and nod his head, "Let's see what we're getting," I say with a chuckle, I'd told Tina that Craig likes chocolate and then she'd said that was enough information and had left the house, I hadn't heard anything from her afterwards so I was looking forward to finding out what her and Dom had decided to make for us. Opening the freezer I chuckle as I see some homemade chocolate ice cream and four chocolate mousse desserts. I look at it for a minute then decide to take out two of the chocolate mousses first.

I can almost hear Craig's mouth water as I place the dessert in front of him, he's beaming bless him, literally beaming at the chocolate treat in front of him. "I wonder what type of chocolate that's been used," he says as he picks up his spoon and then moments later he lets out a groan, which I only usually hear when he's in bed with me, raising my eyebrow I look at him, making him blush and bite his lip adorably, "It's heavenly," he mumbles as he looks shyly at me.

I taste our dessert and can understand his reaction, it is good, really good, and judging by his reaction this is something he'd like to have more of in the future, I make a mental note of asking for the recipe so that I can try to make it for him sometimes in Dublin. Looking over at him I see he's finished his dessert and just looks so sad, I chuckle to myself and shake my head as I finish up the treat in front of me and then get up, kiss him on the cheek and carry the dishes out to the kitchen, before addressing him, "Ready for the next dessert?" he looks up then, clearly not anticipating this, but I smile as I look at him and he nods his head eagerly. I take out the chocolate ice cream and carry it over to him, his eyes widen at this, "It's home made," I tell him, and I am sure that it is, Dom isn't the type of person who'd buy chocolate ice cream.

Craig nods his head and digs in even before I've managed to sit down, but I don't mind, it's chocolate, it's his weakness and it's wonderful for me to see him enjoying something this much, it's as if he's on cloud nine and for me it's a joy to watch him. He licks his spoon clean after each bite, and I find myself getting envious of the blasted thing, wanting to feel his tongue on me. He looks up and flashes me his smile, making me smile too, before returning his attention to the treat in front of him.

I can't sit and watch his tongue work that spoon anymore, so I get up, turn his chair around, straddle his lap and then stick my tongue down his throat in a deep hard snog making sure to prod his tongue with mine, and after the initial shock of me just doing that he reciprocates, and we end up sitting like that kissing for a couple of minutes, me with my arms wrapped around his body and him with his wrapped around mine.

"What was that for?" he wonders as I pull back and rest my forehead against his, looking into his eyes I simply smile and then shrug my shoulders.

"Just wanted to kiss you is all," I press a feather light kiss to his cheek and then move to get up, but he holds me tighter, not letting me go, and seeks out my mouth, kissing me this time, his tongue in my mouth, tasting me and wrestling with mine, until we both pull back in need of air.

"I just wanted to kiss you too," he says with a wink, and then lets me get up and retake my seat as he continues to look at me with a smile on his lips. We carry on eating our ice cream until there is none left, I decide to save the last of the dessert for later, knowing he'd love to be surprised in an hour or so.

"Sweetheart, can you go over and find us something to watch on the TV?" I ask him and he nods his head, heading over to the sofa to do just that, as I clear the table, blow out the candles, and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, "Tea?" I ask and he simply smiles so I fill and then flick the kettle, and set up two mugs with tea bags.

I carry the two mugs with me back to the sofa once the tea has been made, and place them on the coffee table and sit down next to him, gripping his hand, and letting my thumb run over his knuckles. "This has been perfect," he tells me quietly as he wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to himself as he leans back on the sofa, we both shuffle a bit making ourselves comfortable and when we are, me with my head resting on his shoulder, we watch the TV in silence, he's found us some movie to watch, but ask me what it's about and I won't be able to answer, I'm just glad to be able to be with him in this way.

"This feels like it's our own place," I sigh happily, "Will it be like this at some point, you think?" I wonder as I rub my hand over his stomach, making him moan softly.

"I'd love it if it was like this at some point in the future," he tells me as he looks down at me, "It will be soon enough JP, next month yeah?"

I smile and nod my head, "I meant just the two of us sweetheart, our place, our flat you know." I chuckle and then shake my head, "It's too soon to talk about that, forget about it I'm just being silly,"

"No you're not, and it will happen JP, one day we'll have our own flat, maybe once I'm done with school, eh?"

I look up at him and see he's being serious and I just nod my head, "Yeah… I'd love that, just you and me, coming home to our flat, cooking our dinner, just living together properly without housemates, without people bothering us when we want to be left alone."

He kisses my forehead and smiles widely, "It'll happen, we just need to save up for it so that we have couple of months worth of rent paid from the beginning, so that we are free to save up and not worry about the rent for a while,"

"Mhm sounds like a plan," I press a kiss to his cheek and look him in the eyes, "I thought you might freak out about this," I tell him, "You know cause we've barely tried living together yet and I don't want to push you into anything…" he stops me then, kissing me on the lips and shutting me up.

"Don't worry about it, we might just be getting started with our relationship, but we'll get to the having our own flat part, we love each other and we'll not let anything break us apart, I know what I want John Paul, I know that I want to share my life with you, it's simple as that, so don't worry and just relax, I'm not going to freak out or anything, I want this, okay?" he tells me with such certainty in his voice that and the look of pure love emitting from his eyes tells me that he really is fine about this. I smile shyly and kiss his cheek, before settling back down to watch the rest of the movie.


	22. Chapter 22

**Oh look, here's another chapter. YAY... Same as before, no proof reading, due to me being lazy.**

**Craig**

John Paul leaves me to go to the bathroom and I sit back watching the movie, thinking about this evening, for me this has been the perfect date, it's just quiet and it's us. I never really thought that just being alone with another guy, being on a rather intimate date, would make me feel so special, but that's what he does, because of him I feel special, I feel loved and cherished and wanted, because he wants me, he loves me and he wants me and it just fills me up with joy.

When he said the things about us getting our own place together, living alone together I felt my heart beat a little bit faster, I got excited and began to look forward to exactly that, though I think he managed to convince himself that he was going to freak me out or something and started to backtrack a bit, but he didn't have to, it's something that I've thought about before, I mean I did ask him to come live with me, so I've clearly thought about it, but I don't think he's thought about that, he's living so much in the actual moment that he sometimes forgets to think about the future, and I think that happened earlier.

I think I reassured him that I want to live with him on our own, away from the house we're sharing now, or well will be sharing once he moves to Dublin. It's funny because in a way I can understand his backtracking, had he suggested this last year, well he had now that I think about it, and I had pretended not to hear it, but that had been before it all came out about us… Actually that had been the exact same day, well no wonder he backtracked since he probably knew I just ignored him back then, he always knew, but he never really said anything, he always let me get away with it. I was a real prat towards him, but he loved me regardless, and I can't even begin to describe how happy I am that he still loves me now, cause I don't deserve it, after the way I treated him last year I really don't deserve to have him in my life.

It sort of just hits me as I am sat here that he's too good for me, he's this beautiful honest person who put up with so much of my shit, put up with my abuse and my lies and just loved me through it all, and I was just a coward. Hell even last year, I had gone to his house, I had kissed him, I had led him to his room, I had asked him to fuck me and then what did I do, I blamed it all on him, snapped at him, called him names. And just thinking about it breaks me, I literally just begin to cry and let everything out.

"Craig?" I look up and see him stood there looking at me with a worried expression on his face. "Sweetheart what is it?" he crouches down in front of me and pulls me in for a hug, letting me sob on his shoulder.

"I'm… I'm so sorry John Paul…" I begin, "I've… I…" I pull back and look into his eyes and I can see it pains him to see me like this, "God… I've been such a shit to you, I've really really treated you so horribly, I don't deserve you, I don't deserve to have someone as wonderful as you as my boyfriend… I don't deserve anyone," I tell him as more tears fall and I bury my face in my hands.

"Oh sweetheart," he envelops me in his arms, I feel him sit down next to me and pull me towards him, holding me tightly as I let out my emotions. "Craig all that happened was in the past… You're not the same guy anymore, I can see it when we're together, I can tell you want to be with me, I can tell that you love me, I know that you are proud to have me as your boyfriend, sweetheart all that was part of our past, and it's just that, our past, we can't change it, but we can move on from it, we can leave it to be part of our memory, or we can let it control us, and I for one don't want that. I want it to be in our memory a story we can tell in many years time, I want us to start building new memories together, we've got a second chance Craig and as far as I'm concerned everything that happened between us before has been sorted, you've told me why you did what you did and I told you why I did what I did, you know I don't blame you for anything, you know I love you regardless."

"I know," I sniffle into his chest, "I know, but I don't know why, I… I just don't understand why you want me after all that." I breathe in deeply and look into his eyes, "Why do you want to be with me after how I treated you, after all I did to you, I hurt you so badly," I bite my lip in an attempt to make it stop trembling and try to control my breathing.

John Paul just looks at me for a moment, then reaches out his hands cupping my face and brushing away my tears, he smiles that warm beautiful smile before leaning in and pressing a kiss to my lips, "Because I love you… I love you Craig Dean, I am in love with you, and I know you never deliberately meant to hurt me, you were just scared, petrified of what would happen if people found out about us… I know you wanted me and just couldn't make it fit with the things you'd been told from when you were a child… But sweetheart you're not the same person anymore, you've changed for the better." He smiles warmly as he takes hold of my hand, bringing it up to his lips he kisses it, "You're still my little insecure geek who needs me to hold him sometimes to make him feel better," I nod my head, "But you're also my boyfriend, a boyfriend who's proud to be seen with me, a boyfriend who wants me to live with him, a boyfriend who's told people about me, a boyfriend who loves me." I nod my head, "Craig I love you, it doesn't matter what you did in the past or what you will do in the future, I'll always love you and I'll always be there for you when you need me, I'm not going anywhere, and I can't do better than you because you're the love of my life, nothing and no one will ever be better than you. My heart, my soul, my everything belongs to you, from the moment I first fell in love with you, they've been yours." He smiles reassuringly as he brushes away my tears once more, "You've hurt me badly Craig we both know this, but we also both know that you'll never do that again." I nod my head again, "You broke my heart back then sweetheart, but you also put it back together again, I knew you'd be the only one able to do that and you did." I sniffle slightly and he pulls me into his arms again, "There's no better than you Craig, there never will be, so don't you think that ever again." I nod my head and let out a small sob. "Now just let everything out and then put it into a bubble called memories of my past and store it in your mind." He tells me making me chuckle through my sobs.

"Thank you," I mumble as he holds me and loves me.

"Anytime sweetheart," he squeezes me lovingly and I sigh as I try to compose myself, "Don't bottle things up Craig, if you ever feel like this again then just tell me, and we'll talk about it," he continues, "I hate seeing you like this, hate seeing you blaming yourself for things that don't matter to me anymore."

I pull my head back slightly and look into his eyes, "They don't?"

"No they don't, it's over and done with, it's not like we can go back and change them, and besides those things have made us into better people now, we needed all that mess from last year to get to where we are now, we needed to find out who we were without each other, and we know now that we belong together, don't we?"

I smile for the first time now, "Yeah we do, we really do,"

"There you go, there's my happy Craig," John Paul smiles and brushes the remnants of my tears away with his thumbs, before pressing soft kisses to my eyes, "You okay now?" I nod my head shyly, "Come here," he pulls me towards him as he leans back on the sofa until he's laying on his back with me on top of him, his strong arms holding me firmly.

**John Paul**

Well that was something else, I hadn't seen that emotional outburst coming at all, he must have gotten to himself with all his thoughts, I know he has bouts of insecurity sometimes, but I never want him to have them about us, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving him now. It hurts me when he hurts and seeing him like that because he thinks I'm too good for him after all he did last year, well it just pains me.

I think I got him reassured though, got him back on track to being the happy Craig again. I know in my heart he won't ever go back to how he was last year, I mean he more or less implied to his mother that we were in bed together after having just had sex while he was calling her from Dublin, the Craig from last year would never have been able to do that. I think he's realized that because of Frankie and Jake he's been afraid of things that he shouldn't be afraid of, I think maybe now he sees what I could see last year, they had some sort of hold on him and now that he's been away from it, away from them, he sees things clearly, sees that there's nothing to be ashamed of. And I know that he won't let Frankie get a hold over him again, he's seen what real life is and he won't go back to real life according to Frankie anymore.

It's done him good to get away from the village and what he told me earlier is right, for him this place isn't home any longer and it isn't for me either, my home is where he is, it's always been, even when I left him, I think I left part of me with him, at least I didn't feel right until I was back with him again, back in his arms where I truly belong.

I'll just have to make sure in the future to just show him that what we have means the world to me, not let him go into his head and let his self doubts take over like they did before, I hope it won't happen again, but with Craig you never know, but I'll always be there to hold him and kiss him and make him feel better again, that's my job now and that's the most important job I've ever had or ever will have.

My precious prince fell asleep a little while ago, still lying on top of me, I gently stroke my hand through his hair and smile to myself as he shuffles a bit and murmurs my name, I love to watch him when he sleeps, he looks so peaceful with those eyelashes fanned out on his cheeks, sometimes his eyes flutter open when he sleeps and he'd look at me before they'd close again, when I tell him this he has no recollection of it, so it must be something that happens while he's asleep. It's cute though, cause when it happens I feel like I am looking into his soul and I can see the love for me deeply inside of him.

He stirs now and then opens his eyes, slowly looking up at me and then smiles as I press a kiss to his forehead, "Hey you," I rub a hand up and down his back, making him murmur happily as he continues to look at me. "Sleep well?"

Nodding his head he yawns making me chuckle, "Did I sleep for long?" he wonders and I shake my head.

"Just about half an hour," he nods his head and kisses my chest before sitting himself up and stretching his body, I sit up next to him and smile as he looks around the room before returning his attention to me, "You want anything to drink?"

"I could do with a brew," he tells me honestly and nodding my head I get up, carrying our mugs to the kitchen with me, I fill and flick the kettle before quickly rinsing the mugs and setting them up with tea bags and sugar. As the water boils I pour it into the mugs then after I dispose of the bags I add the milk and carry them over to where he is sat watching the TV.

"Here you go sweetheart," he smiles his thanks and takes a sip of the tea, I place my mug on the table and head back to the kitchen making him ask me why, "Just forgot to put the milk back in the fridge," I tell him, and well it's not a lie, I had forgotten, but I also wanted to get the last of the chocolate mousse out, surprise him and all. So I grab two clean spoons and get the dessert out of the freezer. Craig doesn't look away from whatever movie he's found on the TV when I return and sit down next to him, which is just perfect. I place the chocolate mousse in front of him on the table and lay the spoon next to it. "There you go," I say with a smile and he looks questioningly at me before noticing the dessert and his face instantly lights up.

"There was more of that?" he asks as he picks it up and examines it making me chuckle and kiss his cheek.

"Yup, they made four of those and two of the ice creams." I tell him and watch as he begins to eat it, I pick mine up and for a while we just eat the dessert and drink our tea.

"God that was good," he tells me as he finishes his mousse and picks up his mug of tea, settling back on the sofa. I nod my head and feeling full; nestle into his side, holding out my spoon for him, feeding him the last of my chocolate mousse, which he gladly accepts. Him and his chocolate, I smile as he groans and eats the last bit, then taking away his mug and placing everything on the table I return to his side and kiss him on the lips, pushing my tongue against them until he parts them, letting me into his mouth, letting me taste him and he tastes wonderful, even better with the remnants of the dessert on his tongue.

We stay like that, just making out for a bit, me leaning in over him, we're not going to have sex here, that would be too weird for me and besides we should be heading back home to the house soon, but the kissing is okay for a bit longer I figure. He wraps his arms around me and flips us so that I am on my back, deepening our kiss, my hands go in his hair, keeping him in the kiss, not wanting him to end it. It's only when he begins to rub himself against me, me feeling him going hard that I pull back and let go of him, "Not here," I say breathlessly and he frowns as he looks at me with glazed over eyes, "I can't here, my sisters live here," I explain as I sit back up and look at him, for a second he looks put out, but then he sits up and nods his head in understanding.

"Well how about we get out of here and go someplace where we can," he lifts his eyebrows suggestively making me giggle and nod my head. Standing up he grips my hand, pulling me up, and had I not stopped him, he would've dragged me out of the flat instantly. But I make sure to clean up after us, at least the dishes and the mugs, placing them in the dishwasher, making sure to blow out the last candles that had been on the coffee table, and when I'm satisfied that everything is in order I go over to where he is, noticing how he's practically jumping from one leg to the other, I chuckle, press a warm kiss to his cheek and gripping his hand I walk us out of the flat.


	23. Chapter 23

**Here goes, last one for now. This could have been at the end of the former chapter, but you know, short chapters are good fun too. Same as before no proof reading, I'll try to not be lazy for the next time I update. **

**Craig**

"I miss our bed," I tell John Paul as we walk from the flat over to the stairs, making him look questioningly at me, "You know our bed in Dublin, I miss it." I repeat and he chuckles as he nods his head.

"Soon sweetheart, let's just finish our exams first, yeah?"

"Yeah, I can't wait till we're back in Dublin where we both belong," I tell him as I stop him near the stairs and press a warm kiss onto his lips as I slowly push him up against the railings. Neither one of us hears the door opening or the person stepping out, "I love you with all my heart John Paul McQueen, happy anniversary." I say as we break apart and I look at him, he's about to reply when a door is slammed shut behind us and turning around I see Sarah looking over at us, before just setting off, bolting down the stairs and running out of sight. I sigh and shake my head for a moment then turn to look at John Paul and smile, before shrugging my shoulders. "Well maybe this wasn't the best place to kiss, but it's not like we knew she was going to be there."

"Suppose not," he shrugs too, "Let's go home and celebrate our anniversary, eh?" he suggests as he grips my hand and I nod my head, very eagerly making him chuckle. "Come on then," he leads us down the steps and we set off in the direction of his house.

"You're more comfortable with the entire holding hands thing now, you know that?" I say as we walk along, he'd seemed to have some sort of issue with it, telling me how weird it was, but it had gotten slightly better the last time I'd seen him, we still don't overdo it, and never hold hands when there are loads of people around us, but when the street is empty as it is now one of us would usually slip our hand into the others and hold it for a while. Which is what he's done now and it's great, it sadness me sometimes when I think back to how I would flinch away from his touches last year, but it brings me so much joy to see him being so happy when I do the small public display of affections now, making him happy is my main priority now, I won't ever let him down again, I won't ever hurt him again.

"I am yeah," he smiles and gives my hand a squeeze, "Maybe it was just weird because you did it without a thought, without checking if anyone was looking, and I just had to get used to it," he shrugs and I smile.

"Well as long as you're comfortable with it now, then that's all that matters."

He simply smiles and kisses the back of my hand as we reach his house, we enter and head straight up for the bedroom. "Oh hang on," he says outside of the door, "You go in, I forgot something downstairs," he tells me and before I can ask what, he's run down the stairs, I frown then shrug and go into the room, sitting myself down on the bed. He returns a moment later holding two sherry glasses and the bottle of sherry, "It wouldn't be an anniversary without this, would it now?" he chuckles as he places the glasses on the desk and pours the liquid into them. "There you go," he hands me one of the glasses and holds up the other one for himself. "To us?"

I nod my head before adding something, "To our past, our present and our future." He smiles at that and nods his head, we both drink the sherry, he takes the glass away from me, placing it back down on the desk and walks over to me, cupping my face, pressing the softest of kisses on my lips as he slowly walks us towards the bed.

"No running away this time round though, no fear, no anger, just love." He says teasingly, as he begins to unbutton my shirt, when he is done he brushes it off me and it lands on the floor as he recaptures my mouth with his, I give a small yelp as I am pushed and fall down onto the bed, but he's smiling as he's stood there looking at me, practically devouring me with his eyes, I feel myself flush and my cock stirs in my pants, as if sensing this, he reaches out and unbuttons my jeans, then slowly pulls them off me, it doesn't take him long to remove all my clothes and I am led naked on the bed, fully aroused, just looking up at him as he looks at me, really looks, taking his time.

My eyes go to his groin area and I can tell he is as rock hard as I am in that moment, subconsciously I wrap my hand around my cock and begin to stroke it slowly. He sees this and begins to undress for me, and moments later he's on top of me in the bed, kissing me and rubbing our hard seeping cocks against each other. "Inside of me," I moan as he pulls back for air, "Make love to me, like you did last year." He smiles and kisses me again, then begins to kiss his way down, from my face, to my throat continuing to my chest where he nibbles on my nipples, making them wet, then blows on them making them contract before pinching them, he knows how sensitive my nipples are and he knows what this kind of treatment does to me. "Oh god, that's gooooood," I groan as he bites my left nipple lightly.

He carries on with his mission, kissing my body tenderly, lovingly making me feel like the most loved person on the face of the earth, he's not doing things like he did last year, but I don't mind, this is much much better. "Oh God," I groan and arch my back as he takes me in his mouth, it's just indescribable the feeling of him on me like that, I'm at my most vulnerable when he has me in his mouth, but I never feel like it, I just feel loved. I've never felt like that when receiving a blow job from girls, they'd only do it because they felt like they had to, with John Paul though, he does it because he wants to, because he loves me and knows what I like, and he likes it too.

Just when it feels like I'm about to come he drops me from his mouth making me whimper, but he just smiles as he makes his way up to me to kiss me, "I love you Craig Dean," he whispers in my ear before moving a bit further down to nibble on my neck where he marked me earlier in the day.

He reaches for the lube and coats his cock with it, and I watched transfixed as he plays with himself, letting out a whimper when he stops, which just makes him look at me and smirk, before hoisting my legs up so that he can prepare me, which he does to the point of where I'm ready to explode, he just carries on to push against my prostate making me writhe in pleasure and then grab his head, pulling him towards me so that I can kiss him, taste his mouth, taste him. "Now John Paul, please don't make me wait any longer." I tell him and he smiles as he makes himself comfortable between my legs, then slowly he pushes into me, stopping, pulling back and entering me again and repeating this until he is full inside of me.

"You're so beautiful sweetheart," he brushes my hair away from my face as he lets me adjust to having him inside of me, sometimes we have hard rough sex and sometimes it's tender and loving like now and I love both ways, I love how he fucks me hard and I love how he makes love to me gently, really taking his time.

"I love you John Paul," I smile as he leans in and kisses my lips just as he begins to move inside of me, it is sort of like that day a year ago, except that my mind isn't a mess like it was back then, I know that this isn't wrong, I know that being loved by this wonderful man is a blessing, he's all I've ever wanted, I've never had anyone who loved me unconditionally like he does. "Oh god, right there, right there John Paul," I groan as he presses against my prostate, and smiling he makes sure to press against it repeatedly, he knows my body, he knows everything about me, and he still loves me, despite everything I put him through he's over it, he told me that earlier when I broke down and I think it was only then, while I was blubbering on his shoulder that I really believed that we'd be together until we grow old, before I would have settled for a couple of years, until he found someone better, but now I really do believe in my heart of hearts that we're for keeps, and it doesn't scare me, it's a wonderful feeling in fact, to know that this wonderful person, my beautiful boyfriend, will be my partner for the rest of my life.

I grip his face and pull him down, kissing him, wanting him to be inside of me in all possible ways, wrapping my arms around his shoulders I pull all of him down onto me so that there is barely any space left between us, I want us to be as close as we can be, I want to feel his love all over my body, I just want him. "I love you so much," I tell him as I shower his face with kisses, "Only you John Paul, it will only ever be you." I whisper in his ear making him pull back his head for a moment to look into my eyes before his face lights up in a smile as he kisses me again.

I come like that, his body pressing down on my cock, creating friction, finally overwhelms me and my seed shoots out between us, covering our stomachs, and as my orgasm filters though me, my arse clenches against his cock, and with a few more gentle thrusts he grunts and I feel him shoot his milky essence inside of me. With a satisfied sigh he pulls out of me and drops onto his side facing me and smiles as I kick at the duvet until I can cover us both with it. "Happy anniversary Craig," he kisses my forehead and pulls me into his arms, stroking his hand up and down my back.

"Happy anniversary John Paul," I return in between kisses. We stay like that for a while, me in his arms, pressing soft kisses onto each others lips, until he drifts off, making me smile as I just continue to look at him, and continue to feel loved by him, he's perfect and he's mine and I am his and no one will ever come between us, ever again.

**That's all for now. **

**Thank you to those of you who are still reading this. **

**Thanks to those of you who comment and review, I try to reply to all of you, hope I didn't miss anyone. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Just a quick update here. There is a slap in it, you'll have to read to find out who slapped who and why, I guess the why is covered too. **

**John Paul**

"Come on, just go see her, then we can call Han and the guys and make some plans for tonight," I tell Craig as we're sat on the sofa watching TV. We'd had the house for ourselves from when we woke up and hadn't really done much, we'd showered and then eaten some breakfast, and now I'm trying to get him to go and see his mother, because I am sure she has heard by now that he is back in the village and he should see her. She is his mother, despite all her thoughts about what is best for him, she'll always be his mother.

"Don't want to see her," he sighs as he looks at me, "I already know what she'll say… and so do you," he shakes his head, "And frankly I'm not in the mood for her to tell me that this is just some phase, and I don't want you to get upset cause we're going to be celebrating your birthday later on and I know how you get once you get in a bad mood."

"Sweetheart nothing your mother will say can ruin my mood," I smile as I look at him, "I've got you now. I know I am your main priority. I know that you'll never hurt me, so she can say all that she wants, she can blame me all that she wants, it won't make a difference, it won't remove the smile from my lips, it won't make me stop loving you."

"It better not," he says with a raised eyebrow, and I know he'll go see her now, "But I won't be nice to her if she as much as looks funny at you." He tells me and I nod. "I won't have her say a bad word about you, you're everything to me and she better get used to it."

"Whatever you want sweetheart, whatever you do or say, I'm right there with you supporting you," I smile encouragingly and then get up, holding out my hand for him to grip. He looks up warily then breathes in deeply and as he lets go of his breath he grips my hand allowing me to pull him up.

"Okay let's get this over with and then call Han and the guys so that we can go out for some drinks or something, we've got your birthday to celebrate," he presses a kiss to my lips and then walks us out of the house.

He doesn't say much on our way over to the Dog, just a look of concentration on his face and I leave him to it. I know he's bracing himself, expecting the worst from Frankie and so am I, she'll blame me, I'm pretty sure she will, but I'm past caring what she thinks, gone are my insecurities about Craig. I know he wants me, I know he loves me, and that trumps any insult that Frankie can throw in my direction.

He offers a weak smile as we reach the Dog and looks around for a moment, as if taking it all in for the first time, "God, I was such an idiot," he says as we walk by the pole where he'd carved in his and Sarah's initials.

"No, you were with her and thought you loved her," he looks at me and I just smile, "Well you were, and this was before you realized you had feelings for me." I shrug and he nods his head thoughtfully.

"Let's just get this over with, I didn't come back here to spend time with my mum, I came back for you." He sighs as he leads us up to the door where I stop him and turn him to face me.

"You came back because I asked you to sweetheart, because it meant something for me to show people here that we made it, despite all their comments to me last year, despite some of them ignoring me, despite everything. It just meant something to me and now you'll show your mum that you decide what you want in your life, you and not her, not Jake, not anyone else, you." I press a kiss to his lips, "Just be strong, be the Craig from Dublin, don't go back to being the Craig that let his mother dictate his life."

"I came back for you, and I'll always be there for you in the future JP," he says firmly and smiles, "I won't ever let anyone take me back to being the old Craig. I know what I want now, and I've got it, haven't I?"

"You do sweetheart, always."

With that he nods his head, pushes open the door to the pub and walks us inside. There aren't that many people inside, but it's still fairly early. I spot Mercedes standing behind the bar, looking utterly bored and seeing that there isn't any of Craig's family there I walk us both over to her. Craig looks around for a moment, his eyes fixate on the spot on the floor where he ended up when it all came out about us, and I stroke his cheek tenderly with a gentle smile as he looks at me and smiles. "Memories, eh?"

"Yeah, many of them, some good, some really horrible," he sighs and then turns to look at Mercy who's been watching us silently, "Is mum upstairs?"

"All of them are upstairs, place is empty, no point in being three people behind the bar," she shrugs.

"Suppose we better," he sighs and nods towards the door.

"Yup we better," I give his hand a squeeze, "It'll be fine Craig, I'll be right there next to you, okay?" He nods again, smiles then heads over to the door with me behind him. I can feel his anxiety but he's determined too, he won't take any nonsense from his mother or anyone else.

We walk up the stairs and stop at the door, Craig looks at me for a moment then smiles and knocks on the door. He grips my hand tighter as we hear the sound of someone approaching on the other side. Breathing in deeply he lets out the breath, and then the door is opened by Jack, "Craig," he exclaims happily as his face breaks into a smile, "Good to see you son," he holds out his hand for Craig, which Craig shakes and then instantly grips my hand again, "Well come in come in, good to see you John Paul," he smiles warmly and I feel accepted for some odd reason.

"Thanks Jack, how are you?" Craig asks as we walk in.

"Oh alright all things considering," we both nod our heads, "Well sit down, can I get you anything?"

"No no thanks, we're not stopping, I just wanted to come by and say hi to you and mum, I… Well John Paul figured I should since I'm back in the village for a few days, and I suppose it wouldn't feel right to just come and go without dropping by." He sighs as he looks at Jack.

"Ah your mother and her tongue, eh?" Jack says with a raised eyebrow, making me suppress a chuckle, "Well son, what I told you before you left still applies, you're still the same Craig to me, and there's nothing wrong in you being with John Paul, nothing at all."

I feel Craig relax slightly next to me and smile appreciatively at Jack, "Thanks Jack," he tells him, "Is mum in?"

"Yes she's in there with Charlie, I'll go fetch her," Jack leaves us and I turn to look at Craig.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No, but then he's always been on side, hasn't he?" He shrugs and I nod my head, thinking about it Jack had always been friendly to me after everything happened, he'd been supportive of Craig back then, and well he's a good guy, always has been.

"Suppose so, and you'll always have him, no matter what." Craig nods his head and smiles softly as he looks around the kitchen and then the living room.

"We have so many memories from here," he says quietly, "Mostly bad ones, but still memories, eh?"

"Our memories, our beginning, this place is just part of our beginning, nothing else Craig." I tell him as I can see the sadness in his eyes, "All the bad stuff is forgotten, we've got a fresh start now, yeah?"

"Yeah," he smiles as he cups my face, pressing a soft warm kiss onto my lips, "Thank you for putting up with all my mess, thank you for loving me," he pulls back for a moment, his eyes glancing around the flat again, before landing on my face once more, he kisses me again, longer and deeper this time, it's a kiss full of love and apology, a kiss that I feel like he thinks he owes me in this flat, a proper one as my proper boyfriend. I sigh and part my lips slightly allowing his tongue entry in my mouth as he wraps his arms around my body, pulling me closer to him. We only part by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Turning to look we see Frankie standing there, arms folded, shooting daggers in my direction, Craig upon seeing this takes a hold of my hand giving it a light squeeze before speaking, "Hi mum," Frankie continues to look at me before directing her eyes at her son, taking in his change of appearance and then her eyes go down to our hands.

"What have you done to my son," she asks angrily as she looks at me, making me sigh and roll my eyes before looking at Craig.

"Here we go," I tell him as he shakes his head.

"He hasn't done anything to me, I love him," Craig tells her but she's not listening, looking behind her I see Jack stood there shaking his head, his eyes fixed directly at me and I instantly know that whatever will be said now is Frankie's opinion and nothing else.

"Why can't you leave my son alone, why are you ruining his life, he was happy with that Rae girl before you confused him again…"

I snort at this and Craig just lets out this laugh I'd not heard before, "Mum he's not done anything, my life is better now that he is back in it, I love him, I'm in love with him, we're together."

"We'll see… You said the same last year and then you two broke up," she says coldly, "He'll grow tired of you again… I hope that Rae girl will take you back then…"

"I'm not with Rae. I never was, she's just one of my housemates and a rather good mate too," Craig tells his mother as he shakes his head, "She was helping me try to get John Paul back," he informs his mother, but she's not listening, she's set her mind to blame me and that is what she does.

"You and your entire family, all of you have no morals, go after what you want, when you want it," she says as she comes closer to where we're stood, "But then with that mother no wonder you've all turned out as filth," I squeeze Craig's hand tightly at this. You can say what you want about me, but say something about my family well then you're just asking for it.

"Stop that mum, right now," Craig yells at her, making her look at him, "Don't you dare say anything like that about John Paul or his family ever again,"

"You'll see Craig, soon enough he'll change his mind again, and then you'll agree with me."

"I'll never in my life ever agree with you about anything again," Craig snaps back, "I've let you dictate my life for far too long, but not anymore, it's my life, my decision and my relationship,"

"Stop saying that, you're not in a relationship with him," she screws up her face in disgust as she looks over at me, "This fling whatever you want to call it, will be over soon,"

Craig sighs and shakes his head, "No it won't, the only thing that will happen soon is John Paul moving in with me," Frankie looks at him, clearly shocked at this revelation, "I've asked John Paul to move in with me and he's agreed, he'll move to Dublin next month, after his exams."

For a moment Frankie seems lost for words, but just for a moment, then she turns to look at me, pure hatred shining in her eyes. "What have you done to him, what have you said to make him think that he needs you in his life," she barks at me and I just shake my head, "Why can't you just leave him alone, leave him to be happy with the girl he was with…" she pauses for a second, "He would have been happy with Sarah if it hadn't been for you, they'd be married now… Get out," she shouts as she grips my shirt, "Get out and leave my son alone," she shakes me and I look at Craig who just shakes his head and looks towards Jack who is watching his wife taking all her grief out on me.

Seeing that I am not moving she shrieks, "Get out," and raises her hand, I watch as it moves towards me in slow motion, just anticipating the slap really, what I don't see coming is Craig pushing me out of the way.

"No," he cries out and a second later Frankie has slapped him across the face, I wince as it looks really painful and rush to his side.

"Craig," I call out as I cup his face attempting to see how bad it is, but he grips my hand, removing it from his face and stands up to his mother.

"Don't you ever dare raise your hand on John Paul again," he barks at her. Looking over at her I see her seemingly being shocked over having slapped her own son, "He means the world to me, he is my boyfriend, the love of my life and that's how it will be, if you can't accept that then it's your loss, you've already lost one son," Frankie visibly flinches at this, "You are responsible for all that went wrong with Jake. You controlled him all of his life and see what good that did him, eh, a killer, you raised a bloody killer," he shakes his head as he steps forwards, making Frankie walk backwards until she hits the back of the sofa. "You've lost him already, you drove Debbie away too, Steph can't take much more either… Can you really afford to drive away your other son too?" he asks her simply, "Raising a hand on my boyfriend that I can forgive once, and I am sure John Paul would be able to forgive too," he turns to look at me and I nod my head, "But another word, another vile comment from your disgusting mouth and you'll lose me for good." He stares her levelly in the eyes and just for a moment I think he got through to her, she looks at him then her eyes land on me.

"Get out," she stands up straight, "As long as you are with him I don't want to see you," she tells Craig and I just shake my head, "Get out, both of you." She screams and Craig shakes his head as he looks at her, then turns and walks over to me. I can tell from his eyes that this has hurt him, but at the same time he seems resolved, like he'd really expected it to go this way. He grips my hand and walks us to the door, pausing for a minute to look at Jack.

"Thank you Jack," he tells his stepfather, "For everything, thank you for always being there for me and Steph when we needed someone, thank you for being a parent. You never had to, we're not yours, but to me you'll always be my father," he says with a smile, "Good bye." He continues and it sounds final. Opening the door he lets me step out before turning to face his mother once more, "I hope Nancy gets full custody of Charlie and keeps him the hell away from you, don't want that poor kid to be as screwed up as Jake is now, which is all thanks to you." With that he slams the door shut and walks down the stairs with me right next to him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Oh... look, another chapter. It's short, but that's how things are sometimes, short!**

**Craig**

We end up walking for a bit and not saying anything, I need to calm down and John Paul sensing this leaves me to my thoughts, he'd asked if I was okay as we left the Dog and I had simply nodded my head as a reply. I'd been too angry to say anything, cause she'd nearly hit him, she had no right to raise her hand to him, he's not done anything wrong, but well her and her twisted mentality. I don't even know why I thought she'd change, but it's done now, and I suppose I got some things off my chest that I wouldn't have ever said normally.

Somehow I think I'll always have Jack as a parent, and I have my sisters and even Darren, cause I'll never lose them. I more or less already know that Debbie and Steph are on my side so I'll always have my sisters and that means the world to me.

I grip John Paul's hand, giving it a squeeze and smile as he looks at me, he stops for a moment, cups my face and gently brushes a thumb over the cheek my mum slapped. I sigh softly and he leans in placing a soft kiss on it. "Thank you," he says quietly as we carry on walking and I smile because I know he's thanking me for getting him out of the way but also for really showing him that he's my main priority now.

We carry on walking until I spot Nancy, she's not seen us yet, and from what John Paul's said she's not really at the forgiven us stage for what we did last year, but I have to talk to her. "Nancy," I call out and run over to her, leaving John Paul to follow me.

She turns and sees me and John Paul, then sort of freezes before putting on her stoic face, I reach her and stop a few feet from her, John Paul joins me moments later. "Ehm…" I begin as I look from her to John Paul, she looks at him for a moment, offering a small smile and then looks questioningly at me, "Look, ehm… I know what we did last year…" I shake my head, "I know you're still angry with me… us.. and I understand that, but I…" I rub my neck and chew on my lip as the words form in my head, "From what I've gathered my family haven't exactly been the nicest of people to you these past months," she snorts and I could've slapped myself, "No I don't mean that psycho," she raises her eyebrow at that but I carry on, "I mean mum and … " I shake my head, "Look I'm sorry for what Jake did to you and what he tried to do to Charlie," she nods her head slowly, "And I'm also sorry for any grief my family has given you these past months," I shake my head, "I know what mum is like once she thinks she's right, so I'm really sorry for anything she has done or said to you, cause you don't deserve it, no one does."

"What's happened to your face?" Nancy wonders as she looks at me, making me chuckle.

"Mum's what happened," I shrug as she raises her eyebrow, "She wasn't that keen on hearing me and John Paul are back together you know, just spewed her usual poison and tried to hit him, but I pushed him out of the way." I shrug with a little smile as I look at my boyfriend.

"Oh," Nancy looks from John Paul to me and then nods her head, "I had heard you two were back together," she shrugs and we nod our heads.

"Yeah we are," I smile, "Look we won't keep you any longer. I just wanted to apologize to you on behalf of the family, cause I know they won't bother, and also I wanted to tell you," I bite my lip for a moment before continuing, "I hope you get full custody of Charlie so that you can keep him away from that sick woman," I shake my head, "Just look at how she fucked Jake up by controlling him all of his life, look at the mess I made of things thanks to her controlling me… Please don't let her do the same with Charlie." I look pleadingly at Nancy.

She looks at me for a while, trying to see if I am being serious I reckon and then responds, "I will, don't worry, once I've got him I'm in charge and if she wants to see him it will be supervised visits." I nod my head and smile.

"Good," looking at John Paul I continue, "Suppose we better go," looking at Nancy again I chance something figuring the worst she can do is say no. "Look ehm I know you might still be a long way from forgiving us for… you know," she nods her head, "But ehm, well we might be going out with Hannah and some of the guys to celebrate John Paul's birthday, you could join us, if you want," I shrug my shoulders.

"I…" she looks unsure all of a sudden, "I don't know," she looks at us both, "I'll think about it yeah?" I nod my head.

"Yeah sure, we'll just have Hannah tell you then when and where and then it's all up to you, okay?"

"Perfect," she smiles now, "Look I have to go get Charlie now, and I suppose Frankie will be in a mood," she raises her eyebrow and we both nod, "Right well I'll maybe see you later then," she says and then walks off.

"How about that?" I turn to look at John Paul and he simply smiles and nods, "You don't mind do you?" he raises his eyebrow, "Me inviting her?"

"Oh, no not at all, I bet you Hannah could use another girl there," he smiles warmly as we begin to walk again.

"Yeah suppose so, and besides it's a start on her forgiving us, eh?" He nods and shrugs.

"Oh let's go into the Loft, might as well tell Warren now, eh?" John Paul says as we approach the club, and moments later we're inside. "You're okay with being here, I mean Louise was the one they had as their suspect before Jake confessed," he tells me but I just shrug, it's hardly her fault that she was the main suspect of my brothers crime, or possible crime, or whatever really, I wouldn't put anything past that psycho.

John Paul knocks on the door to the office and we hear Warren call out for whoever it is to come in. So we do, him going in first, me right after him. "John Paul," Warren bellows out and I notice Louise is sat next to him, I offer some sort of nod towards her and shake Warren's hand, "So what can I do you for?" he asks as he looks from me to John Paul.

"Ehm…" John Paul looks at me for a moment, then smiles and turns to look at Warren, "I'm here to give you my notice." I see Warren's face drop and I suppose it's because he knows how good a DJ John Paul really is.

"What, why?"

"I've got a… well… a better job,"

"I'll match whatever they're paying you," Warren counters immediately, but John Paul simply smiles and shakes his head.

"It's not about the money Warren, though granted they'll pay me double of what I am getting here," he chuckles for a moment, "No, I'm moving away, going to Dublin to live with Craig here," he tells Warren before turning to grip my hand, "I'll stay on for the couple of days I've got booked until the end of June, if that's okay, or until you find a replacement, it's up to you," he turns and looks at Warren again.

"Yeah that's fine, we'll start looking for a new DJ and until we find one you'll stay on," all three of us look over at Louise, "And good luck with everything in Dublin," she smiles making me smile too.

"Okay, well we'll probably see you tonight," John Paul says as he begins to walk out the door.

"How'd you mean?" Warren wonders making John Paul stop and look at him again.

"Oh, possible night out, us two and some mates, sort of celebrating my birthday a night early, you know," he shrugs and looks questioningly over at me making me chuckle and nod my head.

"Ah okay, well yeah see you then," Warren grins and nods his head.

John Paul leaves the room and I'm right behind him, stopping in the door and looking over at Louise. "I'm sorry about what Jake did," I tell her in all honesty and she nods as I leave the room, and follow John Paul out of the club.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. **

**The next bit will be in The Loft, during John Paul's birthday celebration. **


	26. Chapter 26

**A little bit more for all of you who are still reading this. **

**John Paul**

"They're just talking, don't worry about it," I look over at them and try to get eye-contact with him, try to see if he's alright, but he doesn't look my way, "He can walk away any minute he wants, they're not doing anything, you do trust him don't you?"

"With my life," I tell Hannah without hesitation, "It's her I don't trust," I continue as I point over to where Craig is stood talking to Sarah. Hannah smiles, and nods as she places a hand on my shoulder.

"Look, all of us have just spent this entire evening watching the two of you being together, and John Paul, he only has eyes for you. Besides Sarah can try whatever she likes, he won't fall for her again, I mean he rejected her twice last year didn't he?" I look questioningly at Hannah.

"How'd you know that?" She frowns then nods towards Sarah.

"She told me." The expression on my face must have been priceless at this point, had everyone known about this but me?

"Well I suppose he did reject her yeah, but doesn't mean she'll stop wanting him, stop thinking he should be with her… I mean Frankie still thinks he'll go back to being with girls if I am out of the picture."

"Who cares about Frankie, it's Craig that's important, it who he wants that's important, and he wants you." She smiles as she grips my hand giving it a light squeeze, "Besides we're all here to celebrate your birthday, if the guys ever do come back from the dance-floor." She chuckles and leans over to look down on Kris, Elliot and Zak who are busy showing off to the girls, well two of them are, Elliot just looks awkward while he tries to keep up with the other two. I attempt a smile then turn and look over at Craig and Sarah again.

I don't know why, but all my old insecurities are flaring up again, just seeing them stand together like that talking, reminds me of last year where I was his secret and she was the one he was with in public, and I know that's changed. I know he loves me and only me, he even asked me to move in with him, to share my life with him, but just seeing them like that. Why can't she just fuck off and leave him alone?

Craig chooses just this moment to look over at me, he smiles and then frowns, instantly leaving Sarah stood behind and coming over to me. Sitting down next to me he grips my hand and looks into my eyes, "Hey, what's wrong?" I shrug and look away but he cups my face and makes me look at him, "John Paul, what's wrong?" he repeats and my eyes flicker over towards Sarah for a moment then back to him, he frowns then looks behind him to Sarah who's stood looking over in our direction and then it seems as if he realizes what I must have been thinking, "You're not… She just wanted to talk, that's all, I promise."

I nod slightly, "I know… I trust you, I trust you with my life, you know that Craig…" I sigh as he nods before continuing, "It's just seeing you two stood like that… just made me think of how things were last year," I give a little shrug, "Me being your secret, her being the one you wanted to be with out in public."

"It's not like that anymore, it's only you now, I love you."

"I know," I smile as I look at him, "I just don't want you to be near her… I don't trust her, and then with what your mum said earlier…" I look down at our hands, "Are you still sure?"

"About?"

"About being with me?" I say in almost a whisper, which makes him cup my face to make me look at him.

"Always John Paul, always and forever… I want you to forget all the nonsense my mother spewed today. Don't you for a second think I regret being with you, because I don't. I love you. I want you. I can't live my life without you." He keeps looking into my eyes, and I slowly nod my head, because I know all this, but I just can't stop my insecurities from resurfacing, it's Sarah, his former model girlfriend who his family approved of. I know he wants me, he's picked me more than once, over Sarah, and he's said I'm his main priority. But still Sarah is the one his mother thinks is the right one for him and then there's me the trash from the bad family who's corrupting him, according to Frankie anyways.

"I know, I really do… But… I… I just don't…" I struggle to get the words out as I look into his eyes but he simply smiles as he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips.

"It's okay," he smiles warmly, "I know I've given you reason to doubt me before…" I shake my head stopping him from continuing.

"I don't doubt you, at all… I know you want me, I know you love me… I just…" I sigh and look from him over to Sarah who's just glaring at me and I shake my head, "Oh I don't know… I guess I'm just letting all my old insecurities about us resurface because I saw you talking to her," I shrug as I look at him again, "I'm sorry."

Craig looks at me for a moment with a frown on his face, before smiling and shaking his head as he presses a kiss to my lips, "You're jealous," he chuckles making me raise my eyebrow, "Or something like that. You idiot, you actually think I'd want her now, after having rejected her twice? After asking you to come live with me? After having started planning our future?" My mouth drops open at this revelation.

"You what?"

"Our future JP, you and me, life can throw what it wants at us, and we'll make it. I've lost you once I'm not losing you again. So make that brain of yours stop worrying about things and just know that what we have is for keeps. I'm not letting you go again, ever." He says firmly then leans in and places a warm, wet and utterly delicious kiss on my lips. "Believe me?" I nod my head sheepishly as I bite my lower lip.

"Believe you."

"Good, now how about some more drinks?" he wonders and once more I nod.

"I'm sorry, you know." I tell him just as he's about to get up, making him sit back down and smile as he cups my face.

"Don't be, I understand where you're coming from," he kisses me softly on the lips then heads over to the bar again. I sigh as I watch Sarah pick up her conversation with him, but smile as he clearly ignores her while ordering the drinks and then looks over at me while he waits.

"He really loves you," I look to the side and see Hannah sat there with a smile on her lips, "So stop worrying about whatever and just enjoy today and your relationship, eh? You've been miserable for a long time and this last month, it's just been good to see the change in you, and it's all because of him."

"Yeah," I smile in agreement, "I know, it's just this place you know, the history we all have here. I can't wait till I'm out of here, so that we can start building a new and proper life together in a new place."

"I know that John Paul, but for now, for the little while that the rest of us still have you here with us, just let go of all that other stuff and focus on the important thing, him. He's here for you! He told off his mother for you! Hell he even got slapped for you! He wants you, he's shown that repeatedly, and what he just said here proves that too, so stop worrying, yeah? And enjoy this second chance that you two have gotten."

"Here we go," We both look up at Craig as he comes back with a tray carrying our drinks and the drinks for the guys, smiling he sits down next to me, kissing me on the cheek, "So what are you two talking about?"

"You," Hannah tells him, "I was just telling John Paul to stop stressing and to just enjoy your relationship," Craig chuckles at this and grips my hand giving it a squeeze.

"So I take it you're alright now JP?"

I smile as I kiss his cheek, "Yeah, perfectly fine." Looking over at the bar I see Sarah stood there staring over in our direction, just as Nancy goes over to her. "What did she want anyways?"

He doesn't even look behind him before answering, "Just asked about Dublin, if I was happy there, you know trivial stuff," he shrugs as he drinks from his bottle, I nod and smile as I know that this is the truth. I know when he lies, I always know, and he's telling me the truth, he has no reason not to. I press a kiss to his lips and rest my head on his shoulder as he wraps an arm around mine, pulling me closer to him.

"When's Danny joining us?" Craig asks Hannah and she shrugs her reply.

"Dunno, he's had some job in Chester, might pop round a bit later." Smiling we both nod and then look down on the dance floor, just in time to see Elliot leave the other two and head up to join us where we're sat, he walks past Sarah and Nancy stopping for a moment to chat with them, before coming over to us, sitting down next to Hannah.

"Fed up of those two?" I wonder making him look down at Kris and Zak who have each landed themselves a girl.

"Yes, they're just too much at times them two."

"Well here you go mate, just drink and enjoy yourself," Craig tells him, as he hands him a bottle of beer, which Elliot accepts and drinks from.

We stay seated as we are for a bit longer, once in a while glancing down to look at Kris and Zak, who are up to no good, and just laughing at them when girl after girl ends up rejecting them. "You okay?" Craig asks me after a bit and I nod as I look at him, "Sure? You've gone all quiet on me," I chuckle and sit up properly as I look into his eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine," I look behind him for a moment before resting my gaze on him again, "I just…" I bite my lip thinking I'm going to be really childish if I say this, but at the same time I can't keep my mouth shut. "I don't want you to talk to Sarah again," I blurt out as I lock eyes with him again.

Craig raises an eyebrow as he looks into my eyes, he narrows his eyes for a moment then just smiles and shrugs his shoulders. "Okay, if that's what you want then you got it," pressing a kiss to my lips he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. "But I don't want you seeing Spike ever again," he whispers in my ear before pulling back to look at me again, and at the same time making me chuckle.

"Okay, I won't ever see or talk to Spike again, and you can't see or talk to Sarah ever again, how about that?"

"Perfect, one of the first things we have agreed on as a couple, look at us eh, all grown up." He presses a soft kiss to my cheek before settling back down in his seat, holding out his arms for me. I nestle closer to him, returning my head to rest on his shoulder as he wraps one arm around me. I hear Hannah awing next to me but ignore her.


	27. Chapter 27

**There you go, another little chapter.**

**Craig**

"She keeps looking at you," I sigh and press a kiss to John Paul's forehead, I can't really stop Sarah from looking at me can I now. He'd surprised me earlier, I hadn't thought he'd react like that to me talking to Sarah, or rather her talking to me, but if I think about it, with everything I put him through last year then I do understand him. I know he loves me and trusts me, but I think when it comes to Sarah that'll always be a bit of a thing that hurts him, because I did use him back then and stayed with her, despite my promises to him. When he asked me to never talk to her again it took me a moment to see that he was being utterly serious and quite honestly I don't mind that. I don't have anything to say to her anyways, and it's not like I'm going to be seeing her in Dublin. My life is with John Paul now, so it hadn't been that hard to agree not to see or talk to her again. Though while we were going down that route, I know he still keeps in touch with Spike from time to time, so I just told him to stop seeing Spike, which he agreed too, because he knows that that's my big insecurity when it comes to him.

"Let her look," I tell him before cupping his face, "Let her see that I am all yours and you are all mine," I smile before covering his lips with mine, kissing him long and tender, feeling his hand run through my hair as he holds me closer to him, while parting his lips with a small sigh, letting my tongue enter his mouth to duel with his. We lose ourselves in our own little world only being snapped out of it by Kris.

"Oi you two, stop flaunting your relationship in our faces," he calls out making us break apart and look over at the group we're out with. Hannah just rolls her eyes at Kris and smiles at us, Elliot smiles politely, Zak, it's obvious is trying not to pull some face and Kris just has this smirk on his face that to me at least tells me, he'd like to sit and watch us get it on if we'd let him, and that just makes me shudder for a second. Looking at John Paul again I simply shrug and then peck him on the lips again one final time, before sitting up straight and wrapping my arm around his shoulder as he sits up next to me.

"More drinks?" John Paul nods and after collecting orders from the others I head up to the bar again, I feel John Paul's eyes on me all the time I'm there and smiling I turn to look at him, as I wait for the drinks. Our eyes lock almost instantly and it's as if everyone else fades away. I can hear John Paul clearly, I can hear his heart beating, I can hear him swallow, I can hear him breathing, I just sense him all around me and it's amazing. I frown as he breaks our eye contact and looks to my right, following his gaze I see that Sarah is approaching me. Looking back at him I can see the worry in his eyes, but I've no intentions of breaking my promise to him. Turning around I pick up the tray with all our drinks on it.

"Craig…" Sarah begins, but I don't react to it, I just thank the bartender and then turn and begin walking back to our table. "Craig…" I hear her call out behind me but she is just that behind me, she's part of my past and I've said all I had to say to her, she's an ex, an ex that my boyfriend doesn't want me to have any contact with and I respect that.

"Here we go, drinks for all of us," I smile as I place the tray on the table and sit down next to John Paul. Grabbing a bottle I check my watch and then raise the bottle to toast the birthday boy. "Happy birthday John Paul, thank you for coming back into my life and making me the happiest guy alive," some of the others aww as I continue, "To John Paul," they all repeat my last words, and as we all finish drinking from our beverages I cup John Paul's chin with my thumb and index finger, before placing a delicate kiss onto his lips, "Love you," I tell him as I look into his eyes and enjoy the small blush that spreads onto his cheeks and the shudder that I feel coarse through his body.

"Love you too, Craig," he replies, and for a moment we just look into each other's eyes, it's just the perfect moment really. I can feel all his love for me shining through his eyes and I hope he can see all my love for him in mine. This perfect moment of ours gets interrupted by Kris making a gagging sound, which earns him a scowl from me.

"You're just too romantic and cute, save something for the bedroom, and let us miserable single sods forget for a moment that we are just that, miserable and single." He says his voice dripping with sarcasm which just makes me chuckle.

"Alright alright, but if I want to kiss John Paul, or just look at him then I'm gonna, and then you miserable and single guys can go do something else and not look at us." I tell him firmly.

I see he's about to reply, but then shuts up as he sees someone behind me. "Craig," I sigh and look at John Paul who I felt tense up for a second, as Sarah said my name. I feel all eyes are on me, all of them waiting to see what I'm going to do.

"So anyways, now that Kris is done with his little attention seeking moment," I chuckle as I brush my thumb over John Paul's lips, Kris snorts at this but doesn't say anything, "I've been thinking about it, and once you…" my phone begins to ring just then, I sigh and rolling my eyes I pull it out of my pocket smiling when I see it's Rae calling. The club is rather loud but I figure I know why she's calling so I answer the call.

"Hiya Rae."

"Hey you, sorry to call you, I tried John Paul's phone but he didn't pick up," I look at John Paul and nod, "Put him on will you?" I hand the phone over to John Paul smiling as he presses it up to his ear and then covers the other ear with his other hand.

"Hi Rae," He smiles as she undoubtedly wishes him a happy birthday.

"Thanks, you didn't have to call, a text would've been fine you know." He tells her making me chuckle as I shake my head.

"Craig can I have a word," Sarah is still standing there right behind us, I thought she'd have gone away by now. I look over at Hannah and see her smiling at me, looking over at the guys I can see they think this is awkward, and in a way it is, but well I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it.

"Yeah alright, thanks again, see you real soon yeah?" Looking over at John Paul, I see him end the call and hand me my phone again. "That was sweet of her, she really shouldn't have, what with the prices these days," he says as he shakes his head.

"That's Rae for you, always thinking about everyone," I smile as I think about my friend, "But anyways as I was saying before she rang…" I open my mouth and am interrupted again, this time once more by Sarah.

"Craig why are you ignoring me," she wonders, but I just carry on my thought and hope she gets the message somehow.

"Where was I?" I shake my head, "Oh right, ehm how about we throw you a party in Dublin?" I chuckle as he frowns, "You know call it a combination of a birthday and a welcome to Dublin bash." He bites his lip adorably and nods his head enthusiastically, "Yeah? I can't believe you'll be moving to Dublin to be with me soon," I sigh happily as I look into his eyes, "It'll be wonderful."

"Why wouldn't it?" He asks teasingly making me laugh, "Just a few more weeks to go and then it's good bye to Hollyoaks, eh?"

"Don't remind us," we both look over at Hannah, "Well it'll be weird not to see you everyday John Paul, not to have you around to chat with or just go out for a drink with," she shrugs sadly, and John Paul moves over to her wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"You can always call me when you want to talk, and we'll email and text and maybe you can come out and visit us." He smiles as he gives her a squeeze and I nod my head in agreement, "You're one of my best friends and we'll always be in touch, we're not letting this friendship go, are we now?"

"We better not, but it won't exactly be the same, will it now?"

"We'll make it be the same, we'll always have time for each other, even if we're both in relationships and in different countries and whatnot, we'll always have time to be friends."

"I'd like that," she tells him as she hugs him, "But this is your birthday we're celebrating here, so come on, dance with me," she grins as she gets up, pulling him up with her and then heading for the dance floor.

I stay seated looking at them for a while, it's so good to see Hannah be like her old self again, and John Paul seems happier too when he's around her. I know he'll miss her almost as much as he'll miss his family, but I also know he won't let this friendship die out and I won't let him let it die out. Those two are meant to be in each other's lives in one way or the other and they will be.

John Paul looks up and smiles as he spots me looking at them. He waves and indicates that he wants me to come down and join them, which I want to do, but not on my own. I look like an idiot when I dance and I'm not doing that on my own. Looking around at the people left at the table I quickly eliminate Zak and Elliot, leaving me with Kris, shaking my head at the very idea of dancing with him. I get up and pull him up, and before he even has time to object I am dragging him with me until we are down on the dance floor with John Paul and Hannah.

It doesn't take us long to pair off with the two, me with John Paul and Kris with Hannah, it's an up tempo track so we just dance freely, and it's great to see John Paul with such a big smile on his lips, he seems really happy and I know it's because I'm here, because we're together and I'm not ashamed or embarrassed or anything else that used to hurt him so much.

"This is the best birthday I've had," he presses a quick kiss to my lips and smiles, "I just wish our new friends could be here too."

"Well if Hannah comes down to Dublin we can go out and party with her and our new friends," I offer and he nods excitedly just as the song ends and a new slow track comes on. We both look around to see people pressing themselves closer to the people they're dancing with, and I can tell John Paul wants to but is unsure if I want to do the same. So I grip him around his waist and smile reassuringly, as he places his arms around my neck. We sway to the music as we look into each other's eyes and it's as if we're the only two people in the club. I feel like I am falling into the ocean as I gaze into those endless blue pools of his. He's mine, all mine, and I can't really believe how lucky I am.

He licks his lips and my eyes are instantly drawn to them as I lick my own lips, looking back up I see his eyes are focused on my mouth. Licking my lips again I lean forward and press them against his in a light kiss to begin with, but it quickly becomes a bit deeper than that when he sighs and parts his lips, allowing my tongue entry into his mouth. I feel him pull me closer to him and I grasp his hips tighter as I taste him, really properly taste him, that unique flavor that is John Paul mixed with some of the drinks he's had tonight. I can feel he's excited and it makes my cock stir in my pants, so reluctantly I pull away from the kiss making him whimper adorably. Looking into his eyes, I try to show him that we can do all that later, because I am not particularly keen on getting down and dirty in the middle of this dance floor.

He frowns for a moment, then licks his lips and nods slowly with a shy smile adoring his lips moments later. "Let's go home," he whispers in my ear and looking at him questioningly he raises his eyebrows then presses a soft kiss to my lips and waits for my answer.

"You sure?"

"Positive, we've been out, now I want to be in with you," he tells me and I nod my head in agreement.

"We're gonna head home now," he tells Hannah and Kris who both stop dancing and look questioningly at us.

"But it's still early," Kris tries to object, but Hannah has gotten the drift so she elbows him in the stomach and smiles.

"What do you mean early, it's," she checks her watch, "It's almost two am Kris," she shakes her head, "Go on then you two. I'll pop by tomorrow with your present, yeah?" She continues making John Paul smile and nod his head, before he hugs her and kisses her cheek.

"Right see you guys," we tell them as we head up the stairs. We go over to the table we'd been sat at earlier, and say bye to Elliot and Zak before heading for the exit.

"Leaving so soon?" Warren asks us at the entrance, as he stood chatting with the door man.

"Yeah, going to celebrate on our own now," I tell him as I raise my eyebrows making him look questioningly at me and then at John Paul, who is blushing as he looks down. I chuckle and bite my lip as it is rather clear that Warren has understood what I meant.

"Oh… Right…" he grins and shakes his head, "Hang on for a second," he says and then heads back in, leaving us stood behind with the door man.

"Too bad Nancy didn't come over, eh?" I wonder and he just shrugs as he looks at me.

"She's friends with Sarah, no surprises there really."

"Yeah suppose," I shrug, "Oh well, we both tried, her loss really, but I do hope she gets Charlie in the end and that he isn't stuck with my mother, poor kid, could you imagine him being raised by mum?"

"Well she did a good job with you…" I give John Paul the, don't talk rubbish look making him chuckle. He cups my face and brushes his thumb over my cheek, "Well despite the control thing, she did do a pretty good job. You are caring and friendly and loving, you're just too insecure at times so most people don't get to see that, but I did, and I knew that deep down you would be strong enough to be with me," he presses a soft kiss to my lips before continuing, "Just took you long enough to get to that point, but we're here now, eh?"

I nod my head, "Suppose so, but still she shouldn't have Charlie she's not a blood relative, it's not right." I shrug and shake my head, John Paul just nods his head and smiles.

"Right here you go John Paul," we both look at Warren who returns and holds out an envelope for John Paul, "Call it a birthday present or a thank you for all the hours you put in, in here." He shrugs and smiles, John Paul takes the envelope and looks inside of it, then gasps as he hands it to me to look through.

"That's too much Warren," he says as my mouth drops open at seeing about 1000 pounds in the envelope, "I can't take this, it's really too much," John Paul continues but Warren just shakes his head telling him that it's his now, and he can do what he wants with it. John Paul looks at him for a moment, then looks at me and I just shrug before opening my mouth.

"Would help your mom this, I suppose," he opens his mouth as if to say something then shuts it and nods his head.

"Thank you Warren," he holds out his hand and shakes it, "It's too much, it really is, but thank you." He smiles as does Warren, I shake hands with him and hand John Paul the envelope as we walk down the stairs.

"Craig…" I sigh as we reach the ground and look at John Paul who just looks at me then begins to walk, "Craig, wait.." Sarah calls out and I follow John Paul, gripping his hand tightly as I press a kiss to his cheek. "Craig… Why are you ignoring me?"

"God, just leave it Sarah," we both hear Nancy tell her, "It's clear he's not interested and doesn't want to talk to you, stop humiliating yourself." John Paul snorts at this making me chuckle.

"I LOVE JOHN PAUL MCQUEEN!" I shout out loud just like that, making him stop and look at me with a raised eyebrow, he's just about to say something when someone calls back from the distance.

"WE KNOW – GOOD FOR YOU!" I burst out laughing at this and so does John Paul.

"See… now everyone knows for sure." I tell him as I nudge him and he just smiles warmly before kissing my lips.

"Yeah… It's not shouting it from the rooftops but it'll do," he chuckles as he grips my hand tightly and we set of in the direction of his house.

**Hope you enjoyed. **


	28. Chapter 28

**Here goes another little chapter. **

**John Paul**

"Morning beautiful," I feel my cheeks blush as he says that and smile shyly as I look at him, "Happy birthday," he continues as he edges closer and presses a warm kiss to my lips.

"Hi," I kiss him again, "Thanks sweetheart."

"I heard your lot go past a couple minutes ago, I think they were about to go down to cook breakfast."

"Mhhmm, probably." I shrug as I snuggle up closer to him, resting my head on his chest, playing with one of his nipples with my fingers. "They might come up here with it, or expect us to go downstairs, dunno, we'll find out at some point."

Craig murmurs appreciatively as I press a kiss to his chest, "Let them come up then, I don't want to get out of bed." He tells me making me chuckle and nod my head in agreement as I run my fingers through the bit of chest hair that is growing back out.

"I like this," I look up and into his eyes, "Can you let it grow out for a bit?" biting my lip I look questioningly at him as he looks down at his chest and then back at me again.

"Why?"

"Dunno, I'd like to see what you look like with it grown out." He narrows his eyes and seems to be thinking about it, "I've never seen you with it all grown out, you've always shaved it off, so maybe you could leave it just this one time so that I can see it?"

"I don't know, I don't really like it," he scrunches up his face as he says this and I just shrug thinking he won't let it grow out.

"Well just a thought really," I tell him, as I replace my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

"I'll think about it, yeah?" he gives a small shrug and I just smile, I think this is the first time since we got back together he's not agreeing to something I want, and I dunno, it's leaving me feeling a bit bereft I suppose.

"Yeah, course." I reply quietly, he hasn't exactly said no, but it feels like a no for some reason.

"Did you enjoy last night?" he wonders and I chuckle as I think about last night.

"Which part of it?"

"Well all of it… Why you didn't enjoy it all?"

"Oh no no, I enjoyed it all, but one part was more fun than the other." I reply cheekily as I look up at him.

"Yeah?" he raises his eyebrow questioningly and I nod as I raise my head and press a soft kiss to his lips.

"Uhuh…" I kiss him again, "Dancing with Hannah was the highlight of the night for me."

His face turns into a frown and he pushes me away with an, "Oi!" while his lips form into the sexiest pout I've seen him pull off up until now. I chuckle and try to press a kiss to his lips, but he pulls his head back and narrows his eyes.

"Craiiiiig," I whine, "I'm kidding, you know that…." He just stares at me and I sigh as I try to kiss him again, which just prompts him to sit up in the bed, cross his arms and look away from me.

I shake my head as I too sit up and try to place my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off and starts to get out of the bed, and I can't believe what is happening. "Craig please, I was just kidding, you know that." I tell him as I grab hold of his hand and pull him back down, "You know my favorite part of last night was that I was able to be with you, that we could be together all the time," he looks at me now once more and I can actually see the hurt in his eyes and I don't understand why, "Sweetheart why are you so upset?"

He looks into my eyes for a moment, then shuffles back on the bed until he is resting up against the headboard, "It's nothing," he says with a sigh and looks away, making me frown as I shuffle over next to him and grip his hand, giving it a light squeeze, smiling when he looks at me again.

"Just tell me,"

"Really it's nothing, I'm just being an idiot."

"Craig!" I say more firmly and he nods.

"God.. what am I doing, acting like a prat and on your birthday… I'm sorry.." he shakes his head, "I'm really sorry."

I chuckle and shake my head, "You acted like a prat on my birthday last year too, I'm used to it," I let out a laugh as does he, squeezing his hand again I continue, "Come on tell me."

Biting his lip he looks at me for a moment, really looks, before opening his mouth. "I… I just… I guess I just… I always want…" he sighs and rubs at his neck with his free hand as he tries to explain, "After last year, after how I treated you…" I nod for him to continue, "I've just… I made a promise to myself that now… Whenever we're together, whatever we do together, I want you to feel like that's the highlight of your day…" he shakes his head as he looks at me, "I'm just being an idiot, I'm sorry."

"Don't be… You don't have anything to be sorry about sweetheart, nothing." Cupping his face I smile as he leans into my hand, "My absolute highlight last night was being with you, you know that don't you?" he nods.

"I know, but when you said it wasn't… I… I sort of… I felt like I failed you somehow… And after last year… I don't want that… I want you to always feel happy and… and… happy and safe and loved when you're with me… Cause if we do break up in the future, because of me, then at least I'd know for a little while I made you happy… and and…"

"Shut up," I tell him as a tear escapes his eyes, and mine too, "Just shut up you idiot and kiss me," I shake my head as I lean forwards and press a kiss to his lips as he wraps his arms around me pulling me closer to him. "Sweetheart, this last month… I've never been happier in my entire life… You wanting me back, you still loving me, you asking me to live with you… You've made me so happy that I don't even know how to describe it… Craig you even agreeing to come back here, to walk around with me in this village, to show people that we are together properly… That's all I ever wanted from the moment I fell in love with you…" I pause to wipe away his tears, "Sweetheart, I don't know what the future holds for us… But I know this… I promise you, I'll not walk away again, ever… I've lost you once, and nothing, no one will ever make me do that again… I'll fight with everything I've got in me for us to remain an us, even if things turn sour…" he nods his head, "Just promise me one thing Craig."

"What?"

"Promise me that you'll never give up on us, promise me that no matter what challenges life throws our way… No matter what Craig, promise me you'll not give up and promise me that you'll fight, fight for us, fight for what we have."

He smiles now, through his tears as he nods, "I promise, I'll never give up… I'll never let you down… Ever."

"Good," I smile now as I wipe away his tears, at the same time as he wipes away mine. "Now if we're being totally honest…" I bite my lip and chuckle, "You know what my highlight of the night really was?" he looks at me and shakes his head so I decide to show him, "It was this Craig." I shuffle down on the bed, until I am level with his groin. I blow a steady stream of air against his cock, before taking it into my mouth, making him groan as his cock awakens and grows hard in my mouth.

I blow him spectacularly, making him cry out my name as I twist two fingers inside of him, pushing against his prostate just as he comes down my throat, shooting his milky essence in a couple of rapid bursts. I don't give him any time to recover as I tell him to flip over and as he does so I enter him with my cock fucking him from behind while nibbling on his neck and occasionally sharing kisses when he turns his head to the side. I know his body now, and I know the sounds he makes, it doesn't take that long for him to come for the second time and he draws me over the edge moments after he comes. I collapse on top of him, panting heavily into his ear.

"I love you so much Craig," I say as we lay snuggled up together some minutes later, "Thank you for making this my best birthday ever," he smiles shyly and bites his lips, making me want to kiss him, which I do, repeatedly. We end up making out for the better part of half an hour only pulling apart when my stomach growls. Craig chuckles and pressing a final kiss to my lips, he gets out of bed, returning with the dressing gowns and two towels.

"Come on, shower, then downstairs for breakfast." I nod sheepishly and getting out of bed I put on the dressing gown, as does he, together we head for the bathroom, where we both quickly shower, after having shaved, before returning to the room to get dressed.

"Let's go down and face that lot, eh?" I chuckle as does Craig as I grip his hand and walk us both out of the room, and down the stairs.

"You know what would make this day even more perfect?" Craig tells me as we reach the bottom of the stairs, making me turn and look at him, "Us actually living together and spending it together all alone… well maybe let our friends see you for a while, but otherwise spending it just the two of us." I smile as I really like this train of thought.

"You know what, let's do that next year, or even from your birthday next month." I look at him as I continue, "We'll have one day, say the day before your birthday and spend that with friends, party and all that… And then the actual day will be just for us to spend together in our room, or wherever, how about that?" Craig's face lights up and he nods enthusiastically. "It's a deal then."

"Yeah, deal." He smiles as he pulls me closer to him, and presses a kiss to my lips. "Now breakfast, eh?"

I nod my agreement, letting him lead me to the kitchen where I can hear my family are busy cooking my birthday breakfast.

**Craig**

Wow what a turn of events, we'd gone down for breakfast and some of the girls, I'm not going to mention any names, but you know the girly ones of the family, had squealed and awed and generally just been overly happy that it was John Paul's birthday, Myra had gotten a bit teary eyed as she hugged him and wished him a happy birthday, and this might have just been me seeing this, but I could've sworn that I saw tears sparkle in Jacqui's eyes too.

It had been enjoyable, actually rather pleasant, I'd not experienced a McQueen birthday breakfast before, and it just showed me what a close knit family they really are. They all had their presents for him ready, mostly money, which I know he'd rather have than some stuff they think he'd like, but he'd never use anyways. I'd gotten some funny looks from some of the girls, when I hadn't given him my gift, but he'd managed to shut them all up before they even said anything, by saying he couldn't wait till he got my gift later in the day when we were all by ourselves.

I don't really know why, but he wanted it to be just the two of us when he opened my gift, and since it is his birthday I was all for that. We'd chatted with the girls and Myra as we ate our breakfast, John Paul the picture of calmness when the bell had rung, Carmel went to open it and moments later she was back in the kitchen, with the person who'd been at the door following her.

We'd been sat with our backs to the living room and hadn't really paid much attention to who had come in. I think I saw it in Jacqui's face first, she just went from smiling to stern in less than a second making me frown seconds before Kieron spoke, as he wished John Paul a happy birthday. Then literally all hell broke loose.

John Paul was drinking from his glass which he just dropped as he turned to glare at Kieron, "What the fuck are you doing here?" he practically shouted as he began to squeeze my hand tightly, painfully so in fact, "Did you invite him?" he turned his head and looked over at his mother who seemed dumbfounded by this reaction, but then she didn't really know what had gone on between those two.

I looked over at Jacqui and could tell she was worried as was I, as John Paul just began to verbally tell off Kieron about always hanging around the house, never seemingly doing his bloody job and asking him why he didn't just fuck off and leave his family alone.

Myra, the religious woman that she is, naturally stood up for the Priest, which in turn got Jacqui going as she sided with John Paul, quickly followed by Mercedes who must have caught on to something or other as she too sided with John Paul, Michaela well she loves John Paul and her elder sisters, so she was on John Paul's side too. So here we were John Paul's birthday, and a scream fest erupting between him, his sisters, his mother and the Priest. Tina and Carmel were the only two trying to calm things down.

I knew better than to interfere in a McQueen family argument, so I just waited for John Paul to do or say something that told me what I was supposed to do, which he did after a while, looking at me, he asked me to get the envelope we got last night and pack us a bag with some things, I just did what he asked me to do and rushed upstairs.

I could hear them fighting as I was packing a quick bag for us, stuffing his gift from me into it too while I was at it, grabbing the envelope, his and my phones and wallets too. I headed back downstairs and stood in the living room so that he could see me. When he did, he shot off a couple more insults at the Priest, then walked over to me, gripping my hand and turning to look at his mother he spoke the final words before leading us out of the house. "I don't want him in our house anymore, but since it's clear that you can't ask him to stay the fuck away then I won't bother staying here anymore." With that we left the house and walked down the road.

He was seething, I could feel it coming out of him, and I knew to just let him be, saying something now would just be stupid. He kept mumbling insults under his breath as we walked into town, he was taking us somewhere, but I couldn't quite figure out where until we ended up at the halls. He knocked a couple of times on one of the doors, until a rather grumpy looking Kris opened the door, he was about to make some comment but I shot him a glare stopping him from doing that, he looked at John Paul, heard him mutter something, then stepped aside, letting us enter the flat. John Paul instantly led us to an empty room and I shut the door behind us as he sat down on the bed.

I stayed put for a moment just looking at him, before wrapping my arm around his shoulders, pulling him down with me as I lay down properly on the bed. He was shaking as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and rested his head on my chest. I stroked my fingers through his hair and just let him calm down all naturally, as that was what he needed, we'd talk later. I held him close as I felt him relax and I knew instantly when he'd drifted off as he loosened his grip on my waist at the same time as his breathing changed.

He looked so peaceful and calm, a real big change from the guy who was screaming and shouting at the priest not that long ago. Murmuring my name he presses a kiss to my chest and sighs making me smile, he really is beautiful, and he is all mine, bad temper and all. I stay with him for a little while longer, then gently disentangle myself from him, making him whimper in his sleep and it just warms my heart that he's so used to me being with him that he senses when I'm gone from his side even in his sleep. Pressing a soft kiss to his forehead I smile as he utters my name, and then leave the room.

Kris is in the kitchen, fully dressed in one of his outfits, as I leave the room, and sit down at the bar heaving a sigh. "What's up with him?" Kris wonders and I sigh again, as I tell him what had happened back at the house.

"Last time I saw him be that angry was last year when it all came out about us and he was so upset with me." I shake my head, "I don't really know what to say, cause you don't interfere in a McQueen argument, since they'll turn on you too, and I don't want to stick up for the guy, but… It just feels like he's there to try and see if he can get back with John Paul, but there's no chance of that happening, so I don't get why he keeps showing up."

"Maybe he's just trying to move on, still be friends with John Paul?" Kris suggest making me look at him and shake my head.

"You've not seen the way he looks at him, or clearly feels uncomfortable when we kiss and touch in front of him," I chuckle, "I mean yeah he's a Priest, but he's gay so two blokes kissing shouldn't make him feel uncomfortable."

"He'll get over it eventually, don't you think?"

"Probably, well he'll not have John Paul to gawp at for much longer, so what he does after that I could really care less about." I chuckle slightly at the prospect of Kieron moping around the village once John Paul leaves. "Who knows, if you're lucky he might go after you next mate," Kris stills in the process of eating his toast and gives me a really filthy look. He's about to say something when there's a knock on the door, looking over I spot Sarah stood outside. "Oh god," I groan as I get up and leave Kris behind to let her in.

Entering the room John Paul led us to, I close the door behind me and stand there for a moment just looking at him as he is laying in the bed in peaceful sleep. He just looks so stunningly beautiful that I actually think my heart skips a beat. He's mine, I know this, I know he's coming to live with me, I know it's a fact, but sometimes I have to pinch myself to see if this is all real. I lost him and didn't think I'd ever get the chance to get him back again, but I have him now, and I'll never take him for granted again, never treat him badly again, he's my life, I love him.

Smiling to myself I climb into bed with him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead as I gently brush a finger over his cheek. He stirs slightly, then wraps his arm around my waist and edges closer to me so that his head is resting on my shoulder.

"Kris, is he here or not, we were supposed to meet at the SU bar an hour ago," I hear Sarah's shrill voice as she walks down the hallway with Kris, asking him about Elliot's whereabouts.

"Craig?" I smile as John Paul utters my name and looking at him I see his eyes are open, his face questioning what is going on.

"Hey, Sarah just arrived," I tell him as I look over at the door, he looks too, then seemingly realizes where we are and nods his head. "You okay?" cupping his face, I brush my thumb gently across his lips, sucking in some air when the tip of his tongue pops out and touches it.

"Yeah, much better now," he smiles softly as I nod my head before closing the small gap between our faces and bestowing a feather light kiss onto his lips. "Did I sleep much?"

"No about an hour, maybe a bit less than that," I smile as he kisses me again.

"I'm sorry," I frown at this, what has he got to be sorry about, "I shouldn't have blown up like that but it's just frustrating that he's always there and…"

I cut him off by placing my finger on his lips, "You've got nothing to be sorry about, it's your day and you should be allowed to spend it with whoever you want. It's not your fault he doesn't seem to get the message." John Paul offers a smile before resting his head back down on my shoulder, with me stroking my hand through his hair. "You wanna do anything today?"

"Just being with you sweetheart, that's all I want to do today."

"Well then that's what we'll do JP, today is just you and me day." I smile warmly as he lets out a contented sigh before pressing a kiss to my neck.

I'm about to say something else when John Paul's phone begins to ring, getting it his face drops a little and he hands it to me, "I can't talk to her right now," he says and then looks at me as I look at the phone and see it's Myra calling.

"You sure?" I wonder which just makes him nod. Sighing I accept the call.

"Hi Myra," I begin and she asks for John Paul, "He's sleeping," naturally she doesn't believe this but technically it isn't a lie as he was sleeping just a moment ago, "Myra he's really sleeping, he just dozed off after he calmed down." She sighs then and asks me why he is being like that towards Kieron. I look at him, as he is listening to what she's just said and he mouths for me to make something up. I look questioningly at him for a moment and he just shrugs. "Ehm… I'm not really sure… I mean," I pause and think about it, "Well I think maybe it's because of me, cause last year I was John Paul's best mate and then after I left he didn't have anyone he could be really close with and then Kieron came along and they struck up a friendship, and now that I'm back John Paul might not feel like he has time for both of us. I'd think it was that to be honest with you Myra, though there could be another reason, but it's a bit farfetched and this is just a guess really since John Paul hasn't opened up about why he is like this towards Kieron." I stop for a moment and Myra asks me to tell her what my second reason could be.

"Well he's a priest ain't he? What if he's made some comment or comments about gay people that have rubbed John Paul the wrong way," she doesn't seem to agree about this but I have something I can back this up with, "Well think about the other day when Kieron mentioned that article, we both know John Paul doesn't react that strongly against anything unless there's a proper reason, and it could be that Kieron knows he insulted John Paul and that article was his way of making things right between them." I don't know why, but she seems to maybe believe this story and I shake my head as I look at John Paul, she says she'll talk to Kieron see if he'll tell her anything, "Well whatever him and John Paul have talked about could have been in confidence you know so he won't be able to tell you anything, maybe John Paul had something he had to talk to him about during his ehm… working hours…" Myra chuckles at this and I smile because really I know nothing about priests and all. I just want that particular priest, to stay the fuck away from my boyfriend. She says that yeah she gets this and won't talk to Kieron, but she'll be having some words with John Paul about him apologizing to Kieron for his language, which John Paul just shakes his head at.

"I don't think you'll have any luck with that," I inform her, "The things he said about the guy while we walked away from the house were not nice, and should not be repeated at all." Raising my eyebrow I look at my boyfriend who's blushing, "I'd just leave it be, we both know how John Paul gets when he's stubborn, no point in trying to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do." Myra agrees with me, fully agrees even, and then asks when we'd be back home, "Ehm…" John Paul shakes his head while mouthing that we're not going back until I have to go home on Tuesday. "We'll be back on Tuesday, to pick up my things before I go to the airport."

Myra sighs at this but accepts it for what it is, and after saying good bye I finish the call and look at John Paul, "So where are we staying these days then?" I ask as he lays down and pulls me down with him, looking into my eyes he kisses me before replying.

"You'll see.."

"Not here I hope," he chuckles at this, but shakes his head.

"No not here, this is just a pit stop, we'll go somewhere else later in the day, don't worry."

"Okay.. so we'll go to this place and just be there all the time?"

"Pretty much, yeah… Just you and me." he chuckles and then kisses me again, "Just us two spending my birthday together, like I want it."

"Anything for you JP," I brush my hand through his hair, pulling his face closer to mine, before kissing him tenderly on the lips.

"Good, then that's a plan, and we can discuss the Italy trip too, eh?"

"Yeah good plan," I agree with a nod and a smile, "But first more of this," I say before locking lips with him again, starting out as a small peck, which quickly develops into something deeper and warmer, until I am on top of him, grinding my hips and hard cock against his. He claws at my shirt and pulls it off me as I break the kiss for a second, and then instantly kiss him again the second my shirt is off me.

His hands go to the front of my pants, which he unbuttons and then moves them behind me to grope my arse, making me moan into his mouth. He delves his hands inside my pants, caressing my arse through my boxers as I rub myself against him. "Inside of me," I groan as his hand stills on my boxer-clad arse.

"Not here," he moans back as he looks into my eyes, I'm about to object when he continues, "We've got these days just for that and we'll have plenty of sex Craig, just not here where anyone can walk in on us." He extracts his hands from inside my pants making me groan out my displeasure, but I do understand where he's coming from.

"Okay, but you have some major making up to do later," I tell him and he nods in agreement, "We can still make out though, yeah?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then sit up for a moment," I shift slightly and he sits up, "Off with this," I tell him and have his shirt off him before he can protest, "Back down now." He does as I say and lies back down watching me as I run my hands up and down his chest, playing with his sensitive nipples making him groan out his pleasure.

We don't hear the footsteps approaching the room, as I dip my head and kiss him on the lips, "I love you with all of my heart John Paul," I tell him as I look into his eyes and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me down so that I am lying on top of him, then he kisses me again.

"I love you too sweetheart," he whispers in my ear before nibbling on it, making me groan out my pleasure.

"Please John Paul, can't we..?" I look pleadingly into his eyes, I am so horny and I just want to feel him inside of me. "Make love to me, please?" he looks into my eyes then smiles and kisses me, his tongue gaining entry into my mouth. He rolls us to our side, cupping my face as he deepens the kiss. I moan as he wraps his leg around my waist and shuffles closer to me, the gasp from the door makes us break the kiss and look over towards the source of the sound.

I instantly get a flashback to that day in September when it all came out about me and John Paul, Sarah's face as she's stood at the door now is a perfect picture of her face that day, mine isn't though, I look at her for a moment, then turn my face and look at John Paul, noticing he doesn't seem surprised or anything, he's just looking at me with pure love radiating from his entire being. Smiling I press a kiss to his lips, "I love you JP," I tell him then kiss him again.

"Sarah what are you doing?" We hear Elliot's voice then moments later he's stood in the door next to Sarah. He looks from her to us, "Oh right… sorry guys," he smiles awkwardly, "Come on Sarah," he tries to guide her out of the room but she resists and stays put.

"I want to talk to you Craig," she says to me.

"He doesn't want to talk to you, he's made his choice, more than once, just get lost Sarah," John Paul replies then looks at me with a smile, "He chose me, he wants me… you love me."

"Yeah, I want you John Paul, I love you."

"And just so you know Sarah, I'm going to live with Craig soon, in Ireland. You're out of his life, get used to it and stop trying to get to talk to him. He isn't interested in you or whatever it is you have to say, he's mine now, and I know how to keep him satisfied." I chuckle at this and press a kiss to his cheek, I love it when he goes all possessive on me, and I love to know that I am his just like he is mine.

"Come on Sarah, we should go now," Elliot tells Sarah, but she stays put just glaring at John Paul.

"I'd do what Elliot is saying, unless you want to watch us have sex," John Paul tells her and as she stays where she is he looks at me, grins widely then pounces on my mouth. I'm not really sure what he's doing but I am turned on and ready for anything, while at the same time trying not to think about others being in the room with us. John Paul's hand wanders from my face down to my arse as he pulls me on top of him and at this point I forget about whoever else might be in the room, his hand squeezes and gropes my arse on the outside of my jeans for a while then he moves it inside and moments later I groan as he pushes two fingersinside of me, twisting them around.

"Oh God," I moan as they connect with my prostate, seeking out John Paul's mouth again, I kiss him long and hard as he fucks me with his fingers.

**Hope you enjoyed. Another chapter will follow in the near future.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello hello, it's been a while since the last update. I've been really busy, but finally I have some time to update this.**

**Also, since it is my birthday today, yes same day as John Paul, aren't I lucky? I figure, I'll throw in another chapter or two. Maybe more... **

**To whoever is still reading, thank you for taking the time to do that, and those of you who comment, many thanks for doing that. **

**John Paul**

The looks on Kris and Zak's faces when we came out of the room in the afternoon were priceless, as usual when we have sex Craig was loud, really loud and he'd screamed down the place while I fucked him and afterwards when I sucked him off while fingering him, not stopping my blowjob until I'd sucked out two consecutive orgasms out of him, leaving his cock hypersensitive. Then I'd rimmed him before fucking him again, leaving us both utterly satisfied.

While he dozed off in my arms, I fought off the sleep and made some phone calls, booking us a fancy room for two nights in a rather nice hotel. Might as well use the money Warren gave me last night.

I'd had no intentions of having sex with Craig in that room, but seeing Sarah there, her being stubborn, I thought I'd teach her a lesson so I'd just gone for it, and she'd left the room moments after my hand began to grope Craig's arse on the outside of his jeans. I don't know if she'd stayed in the flat to hear him scream down the place, but if she had then she'd have realized that him and her would never happen again.

He'd been slightly embarrassed by the looks the guys gave him once we came out of the room, but had taken their teasing on the chin, telling Kris he was just jealous he didn't have a boyfriend who could satisfy his needs whenever, wherever, which just shut up Kris completely.

We'd left shortly thereafter Craig being all curious and nosy about the destination and me just being secretive like I usually am, not telling him anything. His face when he saw the hotel was priceless, I know he hasn't stayed anywhere fancy like this before, even last year when he went away with Sarah it had been some low budget place, I'd looked it up afterwards and seen that it hadn't exactly been anywhere splendid, and it did somehow make me feel better, even though I had been so angry with him for leaving me like that. But all that's behind us now, and I'm enjoying life with this Craig who just loves me and just wants to be with me.

"Wow" is all he says as I check us in, as we ride the elevator up to our floor and then as we enter our slightly expensive room, it's taken the majority of Warren's money to pay for this, but I still got some left. "This is too much for us JP," he tells me as he takes in the room, but I just shrug and sit down on the bed, watching him as he looks around.

"It's perfect for just us, I figured we might as well have some alone time, since it will be a while before we can have that again, once you go back to Dublin." He looks at me then nods his head before joining me on the bed and kissing me lightly on the cheek.

"We'll make the most of the time we have now, but after you come to Dublin we are never going to be apart for more than a couple of hours ever again.." he says as he cups my face, "I don't ever want to be apart from you again." He kisses me, long, hard, possessive, a kiss filled with love and devotion and I just sigh happily as I let him kiss me like I want to be kissed, like only he is allowed to kiss me, I am his forever and I know this, and with this kiss so does he.

"I like the sound of that sweetheart," I smile as he pulls back from the kiss and just looks at me, really looks into my eyes, leaning in once more he presses the softest of kisses to my lips then smiles as he sits back and grips my hand.

"You're mine," he states simply before pressing a kiss to my hand, "All of you is mine."

"Always Craig, and all of you is mine too," I tell him making him nod. "You wanna do anything?"

Shaking his head he just kicks off his shoes and climbs into bed, holding his hand out to me, I kick of my shoes and lay down next to him as he covers us with the duvet, "I just want to be with you." He tells me as he looks into my eyes making my heart beat that bit faster as he says those words.

I kiss him tenderly on his lips then rest my head on his chest as he wraps his arm around me, holding me close. We stay like this for a while, me feeling safe in his arms and him being my protector as he holds me and loves me and it's perfect. We're not doing anything and yet this, being together like this on my birthday means more to me than anything else in the world.

"Will it be like this in Dublin?" I ask quietly as I grip his hand and give it a squeeze.

"What do you mean?"

"This, us, will we have time to be together like this?"

"We'll always make us time JP, we'll always look after this relationship and after each other, we've messed it up once, we won't do it again."

"Yeah?" I wonder as I lift my head and look at him, making him frown for a moment.

"Of course, I've not asked you to come to Dublin just for us to fall apart after a while…" he tells me as he cups my face, "This is for keeps you know, no regrets no nothing, just you and I in a proper relationship."

Smiling he kisses me lovingly on the lips before letting go and letting me rest my head on his chest again, I sigh happily and give his hand a squeeze.

"I can't wait till I leave this village, I don't want to be here anymore."

Craig strokes my hair as I close my eyes, the feeling of his fingers in my hair is somewhat relaxing and I start drifting off.

"Well," he begins and I open my eyes as he continues, "why wait?"

"How'd you mean?" I lift my head off his chest and look at him properly.

"Well, how about you just pack up and come with me when I go back in a couple of days?" I frown as he finishes and undoubtedly look rather skeptical which makes him elaborate, "Look I know you want to finish this year in school, and I don't want you to jeopardize that, but if you are that fed up with Hollyoaks then why stay here longer than you have to?"

I shake my head, we'd agreed I'd finish the year at school then move to Dublin, why change it now. "It's only a month Craig," I tell him as I sit up, "I think I can manage an additional month in this village."

"I know you can, but you don't have to, if you don't want to," he tells me as he takes hold of my hand, "I mean, yeah having a year of school done is good, but if you really don't want to be here, then don't stay just for the school. You could enroll in Dublin from this year or next year and do it all from there, or just work for a while and then go back to school, there's no rush with the education stuff for you at the moment, since you want to become the best DJ there ever has been." He shrugs as he looks at me and smiles, "This way we get to be together all the time, you get to do what you really love, and then maybe study on the side, and you'd be somewhere you're really happy." I look at him for a moment, then lay back down, resting my head on his chest as I pull at the duvet to cover us properly, he's given me something to think about and my brain is working overtime trying to process everything.

Craig just lets me think about it all, I feel him drift off a while after our little conversation and I am left alone with my thoughts. It's tempting to just pack up and leave, it really is, I mean it is basically what I will be doing soon, but this way, it's more romantic, us leaving together, like we were meant to last year. I know school is important, I know it means a lot to mum, and it's good to have some degree to fall back on if my DJ'ing doesn't work out, but I can always go back to school, I can always get an education. I could do distance learning, I could do night school, there are many options, but the DJ'ing, that's been my dream for as long as I can remember, and I really think with this job in Dublin I could make my dream come true.

Craig murmurs my name and tightens his grip on me making me smile and press a kiss to his chest. Living life with him, it's scary but at the same time exciting, us sharing a home together, being together properly, no more being apart. It might not work out, though I don't think either one of us will let this relationship break apart, but the possibility of it not working out is still there, and him having his degree he'd be well off if we broke up, while I'd only have the DJ'ing and no education, but on the other hand, what is life worth if you don't take any chances or risks?

No, I know we won't break apart, I know we'll be together forever so all I have to worry about is doing my best to make all my dreams come true, and being with Craig is one of the main ones and it's come true already, I think I'll go for it, I think I'll chance it and then look at the possibilities for an education later on, there's no rush. Yeah, I'm leaving Hollyoaks with Craig in a couple of days.

**Craig**

Waking up I just look at the sleeping frame of my boyfriend as he is nestled close to me in the bed and it makes me smile, it just makes me happy to be able to wake up with him next to me in the bed.

Then I think about what I asked him to do earlier and I shake my head that was really stupid, it's only a month then he's done with school and we can be together properly. I don't have to be selfish, but really, I can't help it, I just want him with me all the time. I think he said no anyways though, so yeah, but it is only a month and I'll be busy with my exams so hopefully I won't notice until I am going to pick him up from the airport. Though who am I kidding, I'm pining for him if we've not spoken for an hour, so a month without him near me and not that much contact due to our exams will be hell.

I sigh as I stroke my hand through his blonde hair, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, he's stunning and he's mine, and I can't believe how I nearly lost him for good because I was so damned scared of being seen as gay. I can't believe what I put him through, and I can't believe he still wanted me after all that. I guess maybe part of the reason I want him in Dublin now is to show him, show him that there is no shame, no fear, I know he's seen it on his visits, but I want to show him all the time. I want him to know that I'm not just putting up a show for him when he's there, and I know I've been very open with him back here in Hollyoaks, but again everyone knows about our past so it couldn't come as a surprise to see us walking around holding hands and kissing.

Sighing again I turn away from him as I try to make sense of my thoughts, cause I want him to come with me now, but I don't want him to leave his school behind when he's that close to finishing his first year. "What's wrong?" I nearly jump as his arm sneaks around my waist and he speaks, I sigh again, and then just shake my head.

"Nothing, just thinking,"

"With the sighs you've been letting out these past minutes Craig, I'd say it was more than just nothing… What's wrong?"

I smile and turn to face him, his concerned blue eyes taking my breath away, even now they are just stunning and they somehow manage to calm me down.

"It's just…" I breathe in deeply as he strokes his fingers through my hair, "What I said earlier," he nods, "I'm just a bit torn, cause I don't want you to not finish your school, I really don't…" he smiles.

"But?"

"But, at the same time I don't want to be without you, I don't want to wake up without you in Dublin again, I don't want to be in Dublin for an entire month without you there by my side, I just want us to be together, and I want us to be together now."

John Paul presses a warm kiss to my lips and brushes his thumb gently over my cheek as he continues to look into my eyes.

"So, you don't want me to come with you on Tuesday then?"

"I don't know JP, I really don't know… I feel like I've asked you to give up so much already and I guess I don't want to ask for more, because it is just a month like you said and I'll be busy with exams and stuff and I know it's me being selfish yet again, but I just…" I sigh as I shake my head, "I suppose I really do want you to come with me on Tuesday, but I think I'll understand if you can't because I do want you to finish your school. I do want you to have an education you know, I just want you to do as well in your life as you possibly can, regardless of being with me or not."

"Hey hey," he stops my little rant by placing his finger on my lips. I look at him and sigh again, making him chuckle, "No matter what Craig, no matter what this is my decision, mine and mine alone, the moving to Dublin, the giving up my school for the time being, all of it, I've thought it through and I've made the decision, I've decided that me living with you is the best thing for me right now okay?"

I nod my head slowly as I look into his eyes.

"Yeah Craig, you are selfish, but then who isn't? Why wouldn't you want your boyfriend living with you, eh? Besides I don't feel like I'm giving up anything, I feel like I'm gaining something, I'm gaining you, I'm going to be living with you, you are who I am meant to be with and we're so lucky to have this second chance now, I'm not letting it go…" he pauses for a moment as he looks into my eyes, "I know you might think I'm giving up too much for you, but I'm not, I'm really not… You know me Craig, you know I don't make decisions without thinking them through, you know that I like the people you live with, otherwise I'd have told you why I didn't like them. You know I like where we're going to work, you know I like Dublin and sweetheart you know, I know you know that I love you more than anything or anyone in the world. Don't think I'm giving things up, because I'm really not. Hollyoaks is right here, it's not going anywhere, I can always come back for a visit, we can always come back and visit, but that's all it will ever be, a visit."

"Yeah?"

"Of course, we belong together and I won't let anyone split us up."

I smile as he says this, I've said something similar and I know we're both dedicated to our relationship.

"Besides, even if we were to break up, which could happen, you never know," I bite my lip, no chance in hell of that ever happening, "But if that ever happens Craig, we'll always be best friends, because that's what we were first, we'll always be in each other's lives from now on, I've lost you as a boyfriend and as a best mate once and I felt like shit for a long time, so no matter what we'll always be best mates, yeah?"

"Nothing will ever break us apart John Paul, I won't let it… But we'll always be best mates." I nod my head as I say that because I know in my heart I won't ever love anyone as much as I love John Paul.

"About me coming to Dublin on Tuesday," I nod again and sigh as I expect him to say he won't come, "I've thought about it and yeah as you say I should finish school, or at least this year," I smile sadly as I look at him and nod my head in understanding. "But you know what, I'd rather be with you." I frown as I look at him as he smiles and bites his lip.

"What?"

He chuckles and pulls me closer to him, "Tuesday… you… me… plane… Dublin… live together, sleep in our own bed together, have loads of hot steaming sex whenever we feel like it." He raises his eyebrow as his hand has a grope on my arse making me groan out my appreciation.

"You'll come?"

"Of course I'll come you idiot, I love you, I want to be with you, you're my world."

"But… What about your school?"

"Who cares?" He chuckles, "I'll do distance learning or night school, or whatever, we'll figure it out, all I know is my place is in Dublin, with you."

"But… You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure… Now are you gonna keep asking me if I am sure, or do you want to celebrate this and my birthday, eh?" he asks as he raises his eyebrow, making me giggle as I seek out his mouth and roll on top of him, while his hands wander all over my back and arse.

I don't really know how, as we don't seem to move from this position, but as we make out we end up getting naked, me still on top of him, rubbing off on him, gasping as he breaches me with his fingers then moaning as they align on my prostate. I fully expect him to flip us over and then fuck me, like we always do, so he does surprise me a bit when he asks me to make love to him.

His eyes are shining with his desire for me though and I know he wants this for certain so I do what he asks of me. I kiss my way down his body, taking his aching cock deep into my mouth making him cry out my name as I suck him hard, dropping him from my mouth as I feel his orgasm coursing through his beautiful body. He whimpers, but I crawl up to him and kiss him deeply showing him that I will get him off, just in my own time.

I kiss my way down his body, stopping at his left nipple, nibbling gently on it, before making my way back down to his cock. I kiss the length of his shaft, licking the pre-cum from the head making him shudder. Smiling I spread his legs, and push them up as I begin to lick my way from his balls to his hole, slowly, I lick him out, all the time having my eyes on his face, watching his facial expression as I pleasure him. He just looks so hot as he gets flushed and excited and as he looks at me, his eyes connecting with mine I see his lust radiating towards me, he wants me inside of him and he wants me inside of him now.

Sitting back on my heels, I look at him as he's led there in front of me and smile, he's mine, this beautiful man is mine and he's wanting me to pleasure him, gripping my cock I cover it with saliva and then slowly, teasingly I rub the head against his willing hole, making him whimper when I don't begin to push into him. I chuckle for a moment, before slowly, carefully beginning to push inside of him, savoring the feel of him opening up for me. When I am completely inside of him, I stop and just look into his eyes, he cups my face and pulls me down for a kiss, only breaking apart when I begin to move inside of him.

I take my time to begin with, really just making love to him slowly, then gradually I pick up the pace and fuck him faster and harder as he pants for me to fuck him, telling me he loves me and wants me and needs me. All of those things apply for me too, I need him like I've never needed anyone before. He's my life, my lover, my boyfriend and my best mate all rolled into one. I know he's who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I know it won't be easy. I know people won't approve and I know he knows that I know this, and I know he sometimes is really careful when we're together, letting me set the pace, but I don't care, as long as we're together life makes sense.

"Oh god, Craig, there… right there," he groans as I slow down and brush against his prostate with my cock, so I do it again, and again and again, smiling as his eyes roll to the back of his head and he lets out this low moan that makes me even harder than I currently am. Looking down between us I see his cock is seeping with his pre-cum and the sight alone is enough to nearly make me cum. I consider gripping it and wanking him off so that he comes at the same time as me, but then I get an idea and decide to go with that instead, so I take hold of both his hands and bring them up above his head, as I press warm soft kisses to his face and then picking up the pace I begin to slam into him harder and faster than I've done up until now, making him groan and moan.

I feel my orgasm coursing through me and as I look into his eyes, seeing him all vulnerable like that, seeing all his love for me shining through, I try to hold back, but I can't, and letting out a loud groan I come, fast and deep inside of him, filling him up as I bury my head in his neck, letting go of his hands which he wraps around me holding me tight to him as my orgasm flushes through my body.

As I recover from my orgasm, I lift my head and smile, "You are my everything JP," I tell him gently before kissing him tenderly. I know he is still rock hard, I can feel him against my stomach, so I pull out of him and kiss my way down his body again, taking his hard member into my mouth and smiling as he lets out a gasp and then moans as I lick his sensitive head repeatedly, lapping up all the pre-cum. He groans as I drop him from my mouth and looks pleadingly at me making me chuckle as I sit up properly, his eyes go wide as saucers as I grip his cock then position myself above it and slowly sit down, letting his full member breach me, wincing at the pain since I'm not prepared for it, but not stopping until he's all the way inside of me.

I shuffle about for a bit then grip his hands and put them on my hips as I look into his eyes with a smile on my lips, "I got to do you, now you do me," I tell him simply as he licks his lips, then nods and begins to fuck me, or well I ride him to begin with, but after a bit he flips us over and then fucks me hard and deep as I wrap my arms around him, pulling him down to me, locking our lips together in a hot, warm, spine tingling kiss. The combination of him being so turned on, this kiss and our lovemaking finally brings him over the edge and he comes hard inside of me. I feel him shoot all of his milky essence inside of me and I hold him tightly wincing slightly as he bites down on my shoulder. Once his orgasm passes, he flops down next to me. I wrap my arm around him, pulling him close to me. Somehow we get the duvet over us, we don't say anything, just kiss for a little bit and then I watch him as he tries to fight off his sleep but ends up losing that battle and for a while afterwards I just watch him as he sleeps, thinking to myself I really lucked out with having gotten him back. Finally just as he shuffles closer to me, pressing a kiss to my chest and murmuring my name I close my eyes and allow myself to sleep too.

**Hope you enjoyed, next bit will be up in a little bit. :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Next little bit.**

**John Paul**

Placing the phone back down, I smile as I look at Craig, before heading off to the shower, it's just so wonderful to be able to wake up with him at all times, and I know it won't be easy once we actually do the proper relationship thing. We'll have fights, we'll be mad at each other, but I just know we're meant to be together. These months without him, I've pined for him, so much, no one knew though, I sort of found a way to put on the brave face that no one could see through, not even our Jacq, but now well now all is wonderful, and I'm leaving this place soon, leaving it to be in Dublin with Craig all the time.

I love him, and his face earlier when he thought I was gonna say no, he was trying to be brave but I could see it would've hurt him if I'd said no, even if it's only a month, and realistically maybe I should stay and finish my exams, but well as I told him, I feel this is the right thing to do, and I go with my gut feeling when it comes to Craig. Besides I'll look into other schools, other courses, distance learning, evening school whatever, the world is full of opportunities and there is loads of time for me to do my education. I just know Dublin is where I have to be now. I have to be with Craig.

I really don't know how I'm going to tell my family about this though, I mean they think they've got a month left before I'm to go and more or less I'm leaving without seeing most of them on Tuesday. I suppose we'll figure out a way to break the news to them, but we'll see how it goes.

Finishing the shower I dry myself off when I hear the knock on the door, I'm about to head out to get it when I hear Craig's grumpy voice call out that he's coming, chuckling I finish drying off and wrap the towel around myself as he calls out my name, "John Paul?"

"Yeah?" I answer as I come out of the bathroom to see him stood in front of the trolley with the food I'd ordered through room service.

"Just checking you were still here," Craig grins sheepishly and then flushes as his stomach growls making me chuckle as he rubs at his neck and looks from me to the food.

"Where would I've gone, eh sweetheart?" I tell him as I look at him, he looks into my eyes as I continue, "I have everything I want and need right here," I hold out my hand for him as I walk over to him at the same time as his face lights up in the warmest most beautiful smile I have ever seen from him, he grips my hand and I pull him closer to him, "I have you, I'm not going anywhere," I state simply before kissing him gently on the lips as he lets his free hand rest on my hip. "I love you," I tell him as we part from the kiss, and for a moment we just stand there gazing into each other's eyes. I'm about to say something when his stomach growls making me laugh and him look sheepishly down on the ground.

"Sorry," he says as he bites down on his lower lip and glances at me, as his cheeks flush.

"No need to be sorry sweetheart," I cup his face, brushing my thumbs over his cheeks, "Why'd you think I ordered all this food?" I give a chuckle, kiss him gently on the lips and step away from him going to the trolley to pick up a plate which I then hold out to him, "There you go," I smile as he takes it and the fork. Picking up my plate I go over and sit on the bed, with him joining me.

It's a good meal and we eat it in silence, I realize we've not eaten anything since breakfast, so no wonder Craig's stomach was growling. He's thin enough as it is, stunning and it suits him, but I'd have to make sure he eats properly once I go to Dublin, cause he wasn't this thin last year, and from what Rae has told me he hardly ever eats at home, but if he does then it's junk food and chocolate cake. No I'm gonna look after him now, make sure he's well fed and doesn't only eat junk food.

My phone goes off and I let out a groan contemplating for a minute to just ignore whoever is calling, but then remembering Hannah said she'd be round the house, "Could be Han," I tell Craig as I get up and find my pants, extracting the phone from the pocket, sighing when it's Niall's name that shows up. I look at the phone for a moment then answer the call.

"Hi Niall," I throw an apologetic glance over at Craig, who just shrugs and goes up to the trolley to see if there is more food, which there is.

"Hi John Paul, just calling to wish you a happy birthday mate," Niall says making me smile, "and also I wanted to see if you wanted to go out for a drink tonight?"

"Thanks mate, ehm I'd love to but I can't, I've made plans with Craig, we're staying in until he goes back home." I say as I look over at Craig who's back on the bed eating his food.

"Oh… Ooohh, I wasn't interrupting was I?" Niall asks making me laugh.

"No no, we're just eating our dinner now," I chuckle as he lets out the breath he was holding, "Look I gotta run, but thanks for the call, I really appreciate it mate."

"Yeah, it's nothing really, have a good night with Craig then." He says and smiling I end the call, before retaking my seat next to Craig.

"S'pity you not got to meet him," I tell Craig who just shrugs as he continues to eat, "Maybe whenever we come back for a visit eh?" Craig looks at me then nods, I'm about to continue when my phone goes off again, this time Jacqui is calling, groaning I look apologetically at Craig who just smiles encouragingly as I place the plate of food down on the bed and accept the call.

"Hi Jacq," I sigh.

"Hi, you okay John Paul?"

"Yeah, perfectly fine, I'm with Craig aren't I?" I chuckle making her let out a laugh too.

"Oh, well with the way you left today and then mum spoke to Craig earlier, you not coming back until Tuesday, thought maybe something was wrong?"

"Well you know what's wrong, Jacq," I tell her. "But we've decided to just shut ourselves away for the next couple of days, just enjoy being together without interruptions you know, just us time."

"Oh right, well that's good, having some time for yourselves, and yeah I know what's wrong," she goes silent for a moment before continuing, "Mercy knows," I furrow my brows as she says that.

"Knows what?"

"About you and Kieron,"

"You what?" I get up off the bed and look at Craig who's looking back up at me, the question written all over his face, "You told her?"

"Not as such no," Jacqui begins, and I start to rub at my neck, "She just…" she pauses for a moment, "After you left, Kieron left too, and mum went upstairs with Carmel and Teen, Michaela left to go to work and then Mercy just stayed quiet for a bit and then said that she thought something had gone on between you and Kieron,"

"And?" I look at Craig and mouth to him that Mercy knows about Kieron and me, he nods, getting up and giving me a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek, I smile as Jacqui continues.

"And she just kept repeating that, even when I told her not to be stupid," she sighs, "Finally I just told her,"

"Jacqui, you didn't." I gasp, but she sighs once more before speaking again.

"I did, and I also told her what I'd do to her if anyone else were to hear about it, she'll keep her trap shut John Paul, she knows how to do that when it's something big like this, don't worry about it."

"Jacq, what do you mean don't worry about it, I was expecting her to come talk to me, and I would've maybe told her, though I don't know if I would've, and… God, if she gets drunk and Frankie rubs her the wrong way she'll blab, Jacq…" I groan as I look at Craig, all my anxieties showing on my face.

Craig comes over to me once more and wraps his arm around my shoulders from behind, pressing himself up against me whispering soothing words in my ear as he holds me and rocks us gently.

"I'm really sorry John Paul, but she'll keep this secret, I know she will." Jacqui insists and I just sigh, because really there's nothing else to do than to trust her and trust that Mercy will keep her mouth shut.

"I suppose," I shake my head, "Look I'm gonna go," I say and then end the call, turning off my phone and then dropping it on the floor as I turn in Craig's arms, letting him hold me and make me feel better, which he does, he can always make me feel better. "Mercy knows," I say quietly as Craig leads us to the bed, sitting us down while he continues to hold me.

"Is she going to tell people?"

"I don't think so, but I didn't want anyone else to know," I sigh as he presses a kiss to my neck, "I suppose if we can trust Kris then we can trust Mercy too," I pull back slightly and shrug making Craig nod.

"We'll soon be gone anyways JP, so even if people find out, who cares, eh?" Craig says as he brushes his thumb over my cheek.

"Suppose so, it's just… I just wish it was only the few people who knew from the beginning who know now, and not my sisters and such, I mean it's embarrassing, he's a flaming priest." I shake my head, "I think this ranks up there with the biggest mistakes of my life," I shake my head once more then look into Craig's eyes, "Biggest mistake of my life being that I let you go to Dublin alone," I can see Craig's eyes well up at this and moments later he pulls me close to him in a tight hug, "I wish I hadn't, I wish we both had been ready last year."

"Doesn't matter JP, we're together now, we were apart, we made mistakes, we hurt each other, we did all that and still we're here now, we're together now and that's all that matters," he tells me as he pulls back and cups my face, "We needed to be apart, we needed it, and it only made us stronger, so don't think about it like that now, because we both know I wouldn't have been able to cope with us being an us with you being right there next to me last year." He tells me in all honesty, "All that is part of our past, this is our now, and on Tuesday our future begins."

I look at him for a moment then nod my head, "Promise me something, Craig."

"Anything.."

"Promise me that if we are ever to split up, if we're ever going to not be us anymore, then please promise me…" I look into his eyes as I cover his hands with mine, "Promise me that we'll always be in each other's lives, promise me you'll always be my best mate, promise me Craig." I can't live my life without him being in it somehow, even if he's not my boyfriend I want him to be there with me through everything.

"Always, always JP, we've been apart once, that's more than enough, never again." He tells me as he presses his lips to mine, "Always, I'm not losing you ever again." Wrapping my arms tightly around him I pull him closer to me, holding him there rocking us gently as we both relax in each other's hold.

**John Paul**

"So Rome it is then?" I look at him and he nods his head, "Great, we can book it once we go back home," he smiles as do I and then leans over to kiss me.

"How long are we going to be there for?" he wonders and I shrug. "Only if we say two weeks, we could go on some trips away from Rome, see a bit more of the country, maybe a day trip to Pisa or Venice." I give a chuckle as we'd both done a list with three places in Italy we'd like to go, and both had Rome in first place, Venice in second and Pisa in third.

"Sounds like a good idea sweetheart," I smile warmly as he snuggles closer to me on the bed and rests his head on my shoulder, "We can book everything in Rome and then look into everything else, if it can be done then we'll do it, if not then we'll just go to Venice and Pisa another time, eh?"

"Yeah, but we'll plan things before going there, look everything up and such so we know beforehand," Craig says without lifting his head making me kiss his forehead as I agree with him.

We'd spent some time just talking about if it really mattered if people knew I'd slept with the Priest, Craig coming to the conclusion that it really didn't matter, and that I shouldn't be embarrassed about it, as he said it was just a mistake, and it's not like I can go back and change it. Besides if it hadn't happened then I wouldn't have gone to Dublin to see him, if it hadn't happened then we wouldn't be back to being us now.

"This is nice," Craig murmurs, "This, just being together like this," he goes on to explain as he kisses my collarbone.

"Uhu, it really is," I agree with what he's saying, we've really been lazy these last couple of hours, after I calmed down and we'd talked, we'd eaten the dessert, chocolate cake naturally, and Craig had sung me a birthday song, then given me my present, some concert tickets for Razorlight in Dublin later this summer, I'd thanked him with a nice little round of sex, well loads of it really and then we'd settled down and decided where we'd go on our vacation.

"I wanna take you to Zante," Craig suddenly says and then lifts his head to look into my eyes as I frown, "Cause you know, I should've gone with you last year, I should've shown you that I wanted to be with you and I didn't and I've regretted it ever since," I just smile and nod my head as I kiss him, "I am sorry for being such an idiot last year, you know that, don't you?"

"I know Craig, I know and it's in the past, so don't think about it anymore, I'd love to go to Zante with you at some point, it'll be perfect, our memories, our vacation, just us together." I smile as does he before brushing his hand lovingly through my hair. Resting his head back down on my shoulder he lets out a happy sigh.

"I love you John Paul,"

"Love you too Craig," I hold him tightly and just savor the feeling of him next to me, in my arms, relaxed and all mine.

We stay silent for a while, he's got his eyes closed and I think he's fallen asleep, which is why I jump slightly when he next speaks.

"Will you tell your mum you're leaving when we go back on Tuesday?" I think about it for a moment before replying.

"Nah, I've only got a few things left to pack, you were meant to take most of it back with you anyways, so we'll just walk out with the suitcases and I'll phone her or well all of them from Dublin, I reckon."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Craig asks as he lifts his head and looks at me properly, "I mean, I think they'd be hurt by that, don't you?"

I shrug slightly and kiss his forehead, "Possibly, but they'll understand, and we can always come back later on and do the proper goodbyes." He continues to look at me for a moment then seems to accept what I've said, replacing his head down on my shoulder, pulling me closer to him by my hip.

"Can't wait to wake up at home with you," he sighs gently as I watch him, he closes his eyes, pressing a soft kiss to my chest. I smile and give him a squeeze, there is no need for any more words from my part. I just hold him until he drifts off, before closing my eyes and falling asleep too.

**Stay tuned for more. :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**As promised, here is another little chapter for all of you who are reading this little story of mine.**

**Craig**

I can't believe we're in Dublin and this time my JP isn't here for a visit, he'll stay here for good, this is his home now. I sigh happily as we get in the cab and tell the driver the address of our home.

We'd spent the last couple of days in the hotel, we'd not left the room once, had all the food delivered to the room, and spent all of the money Warren had given JP the other night, it had been lovely to just be together in that way, just being us without anyone disturbing us. I feel like we're stronger as a couple now, just those days made us stronger in a way, we talked, we always talk now, but good talks, talks about what we're going to do, more importantly what he's going to do about his school, cause I do feel bad about him leaving it all behind for me, but he's promised me he'll look into some distance learning or evening school, something so that he gets his degree too. I'm glad he seems to be willing to do that, cause I got the impression he wasn't all that bothered about school, and I don't want him to regret it later on in life.

It had been slightly awkward earlier today when we'd gone back to the McQueen house, to "pick up my things" as that was officially what we were doing, well that and also the rest of his things too as it had always been the plan that I take an extra suitcase back with me, with the majority of his clothes, but well now we packed everything, all that is left in the house now are his records, which will be shipped over soon, I think. It had been weird for me to say goodbye to Myra, as I knew he was going back with me, but all she knew was that he'd be back later in the evening.

He'd hugged her, kissing her cheek and said bye as we left and, to me at least, it felt final, I don't know if she sensed anything though, she'd have sussed it out though if she'd gone to his room after we'd left, since literally there we're only his records and decks left there, even the laptop we took with us, hidden in one of the suitcases, we did take it out at the airport and carried it onto the plane as our carryon luggage. We'd gotten a last minute ticket for John Paul and gone up the escalator together, like we should've last year, but it just felt better this time round, it felt more right. I was less nervous and so was he, it just made sense that we were leaving together, it never did last year.

Rae had called the previous day asking when I'd be back, wanting to stay up, but I'd told her I'd be home real late and I'd just see her the next morning, didn't mention anything about JP coming back with me, I want to surprise her, all of them really, by just bringing him down with me to breakfast tomorrow.

The cab pulls up outside the house and I see it's all dark, so they're all sleeping, well it is late and they have classes tomorrow so no wonder really, "Here we are then, home sweet home," I look at John Paul and grin as he lets out a chuckle, paying the driver, we get out with our luggage and I let us in, locking the door behind us. We go up to our room, quietly, and without turning on any lights, dropping the bags near the wardrobe, undressing and simply just getting into bed.

I'm about to nod off when JP sits up, "shit!" he exclaims and then gets out of bed, going to pick up his jacket, I look on in confusion until he climbs back into bed with me, "I forgot to phone mum," he shakes his head, and turns on his phone, it begins to vibrate a moment later indicating a message, accessing it, we both see that Myra is indeed wondering where he is, "Ehm," he looks at me for a moment then types in a reply, something about being out with some mates and forgetting to write her, he presses send, and moments later she replies with an okay and good night son. He turns off his phone, dropping it on his bedside drawer, before opening up his arms for me, I snuggle close to him and let out a sigh, "We made it, eh sweetheart?" he asks and I nod my head as he presses a kiss to my forehead.

We lay like that for a while, I feel and hear him drift off first, and smiling I close my eyes, wrapping my arm tightly around his waist and pulling the duvet up around us. Pressing a warm kiss onto his chest I finally give up my battle against sleep and allow myself to drift off.

**Craig**

"I think they're all up now," John Paul tells me as we lay there in bed holding each other, slowly waking up. I've decided to stay home today to be with him, and then I'll be going back to school tomorrow.

"Suppose so," I yawn making him chuckle as he strokes the hair away from my forehead, "We'll just unpack later, yeah?" I ask and he just nods his reply, "Come on then, let's go down and surprise them," I say as I get up and find our dressing gowns, once we've got them on we head downstairs, "Wait here," I tell him, and leave him stood outside the door to the kitchen, as I myself head in.

Joe, Kate and Rae are in there having their breakfast as I walk in, with a smile on my lips, "Morning guys," I say as I head for the kettle, flicking it on, moments later I'm being hugged by Rae, "Ah, missed me then?" I chuckle as she steps back and smiles.

"Of course, so how was it going back, how's John Paul, was it hard for you guys to say good bye this time?" Rae just starts with her questions and I chuckle as I look over at Joe, seeing him roll his eyes while Kate seems interested in what I have to say.

"It was…" I think about it, "It was good to go back, I think I finally managed to confront my demons in that place, it'll be easier to go back there to visit my family now, I think…" I smile as I go over to the door again, "No it wasn't hard to say good bye this time round, don't really know why, it was as if we just knew we'd be together again soon, so yeah…" I chuckle as I reach for the handle, "John Paul… He's…" turning to look at all of them I shake my head, "I think he's alright, dunno…" opening the door, I grin widely as he steps into the kitchen, pecking me lightly on the lips, before I turn to look at my house mates, "But, ehm ask him yourself Rae."

"John Paul!" all three of them exclaim at the same time, making us both laugh.

"But.."

"How?"

"Why?"

"We talked about it, and we've decided not to be apart for another minute." John Paul explains.

"But what about your school?" Joe asks, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled you're here," I nod my head as he says this, "But I thought you wanted to finish the first year at school?"

"Yeah, and I will… I'll look into some distance learning or evening school or something, anything really, and see if I can get my credits transferred, if not then I'll just start all over." He shrugs slightly, "All I know is I am meant to be here now, and so here I am." He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him, "first day of the rest of our lives, eh sweetheart?" I look at him for a moment then nod as I bite my lip. The girls start awwwing and we both just shake our heads, before being jumped by them as they hug us telling us how happy they are for us, Joe comes over once they settled down and shakes our hands, being all manly, but I can tell he too is happy for us.

JP makes us our brews and we settle down around the table with the others, chatting briefly about my trip to Hollyoaks and what we'd done while I had been there. We both smirk as we leave out all the sexy details and talk about what happened, how Sarah had been a desperate tart, as JP so nicely put it, and how my mother had been an absolute cow towards him and me. How it had been great to have Steph's support, though I always knew I had it, but it had meant loads to see her and to see it still was there.

Eventually the guys all get up and head upstairs to get their things, before coming down and saying bye to us as they head out to school. Rae stays behind for a moment, comes back in to us and hugs us both, "I'm really happy for both of you," she says as she kisses both our cheeks and then leaves the kitchen and the house.

"I'm really happy for both of us too," I say, making John Paul giggle and nod, as I grip his hand giving it a gentle squeeze. He looks into my eyes and I am ready to melt, all his love for me, all his feelings for me are shining through and it just warms my heart. "Come here," he gets up as I tug on his hand. Coming over to me, he sits down on my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck.

He continues to look into my eyes as he leans his head forward and presses a soft warm kiss onto my lips. My arms go around his back holding him in the position he is in as he pulls his head back slightly, while continuing to look at me.

"I can't believe you're really here and that you won't be leaving again," I say with a giggle, cause it just suddenly hits me that he'll be staying permanently this time, this isn't one of his too short visits, he's really here and he's really staying.

"I'm where I want to be," he tells me sweetly, "I'm here with you," pressing a kiss to my lips he lets out a small giggle then looks lovingly at me, "home is where you are sweetheart, home is where my heart is, and my heart has been in Dublin for so long now," he smiles softly before continuing, "It just took me a little bit longer to get here."

"Well I'm glad that you got here, eventually." I tell him in all honesty, "This new beginning we've got… It's wonderful and we both are at a place now where we can be together properly, I don't really think we were last year." He smiles and nods, I know he agrees with me. I know we both made mistakes last year in how we dealt with things, but all that is in the past now. "We're here now, and I wouldn't change it for the world."

John Paul kisses me softly on the cheek, then gets up and heads for the door, frowning I look at him as he stops, "I wouldn't change it for the world either sweetheart," he says as he turns to look at me, "But now, I think we should take advantage of the fact that no one is in, and get in the shower." He bites his lower lip for a moment, then leaves the kitchen. I chuckle and shake my head, "Craig, you coming?" he calls out for me from the stairs, and yeah of course I'm bloody coming.

**To be continued... With loads of smuttiness... You all know you want it. :)**


	32. Chapter 32

**I decided that this chapter in particular would just be posted like it was when I wrote it, since it was just... well smut, so mistakes and what not are allowed here.**

**Do enjoy.**

**John Paul**

Okay so I think Craig just gave me my most intense orgasm to date, and he hasn't even fucked me yet. That tongue of his can work miracles, I'll tell you that. He's letting me recover at the moment, with promises of a fucking of a lifetime once I'm all ready again, and just him saying that nearly made me come again. He's just bloody incredible and I can't believe how incredibly lucky I am to have him back in my life again.

We'd gone up to the shower earlier, since I did feel a bit dirty, considering we'd travelled and hadn't showered last night, so yeah we got in the shower and for a bit we just did that, showered, I did my hair, he did his, he did however, repeatedly I might add, "accidentally" brush his hand against my hip, and he kept looking at me in this way, I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it was… Hmm… It was so filled with love, with passion, with devotion that it just made me feel warm inside.

He'd taken the flannel from me and had slowly, soaped in my chest, belly, arms, under my arms, my thighs, legs, feet, he'd taken his sweet time on my cock too, not that I was complaining, hell I was being turned on in ways I hadn't been turned on before. I mean we've showered together before, but nothing like this, there was just something different about him today as he was washing me. Once he was satisfied that he'd done a good job washing the front of me, he turned me and let the water wash away all the soap, before repeating all that he had done to the front of my body to the back of it, my shoulders, back and butt we're soaped in thoroughly, and once again I was turned so that all soap could be washed away.

He'd looked at me afterwards and smiled, "There, all clean JP," he'd said with this naughty smile on his lips and the idiot that I am, I'd just nodded with a sheepish smile on my face as I held out my hand to get the flannel from him, so that I could return the favor, but he shook his head and dropped it to the floor, before placing his hands on my shoulders as he leant in and kissed me gently on the lips. Pulling away, I looked questioningly at him, I could tell he was planning something, but what I couldn't quite figure out. "Turn around," he whispered in my ear and I did as I was told, so that I was facing the wall.

I felt Craig step closer to me, his cock nudging me in the back as he ran his hands up and down my arms, "You are so beautiful John Paul," he whispered in my ear before showering my neck with soft kisses, he moved slowly to my shoulders and began to switch between kisses, nibbles and gentle bites, not leaving an inch of my shoulders nor my back uncovered by his mouth. I hear this soft thud as he stops, looking back I see he's down on his knees, his hands are resting on my hips. He looks up and smiles as his eyes connect with mine, I smile back and watch as his hands make their way to my arse, which he massages softly, gently he parts my cheeks and then kneads them a bit harder. I turn my head back and just enjoy what he is doing; waiting to see what he's got planned. I'm sort of in my thoughts when he does the next thing, which has me cry out in surprise.

I look back down to see his face buried between my cheeks, and his tongue, oh that wonderful tongue of his, it was licking me, he was using his tongue on my arse, and boy was he doing a good job. He started off slowly by just licking me and as I began to moan he began to apply some pressure and push against my tight hole with the tip of his tongue, tickling me while at the same loosening me up. I found myself pushing back against his face after a while, it just felt so out of this world incredible that I wanted more, I didn't want it to end, and he hadn't even pushed his tongue inside of me yet.

My cock was rock hard by now, I gripped it with one of my hands, wanting to stroke it slowly, while he licked me out, but he sensed my movement and slapped me lightly on the arse, making me look at him "Don't do that JP, I've not told you, you can do that, I want to make you come." He said firmly and kept looking at me until I let go of my cock, a shiver going through my entire body at the prospect of him making me come, swallowing hard, I nod and watch as he sticks his tongue out and once more goes back to work, this time he applies more pressure and before I know it, his tongue is inside of me, driving me utterly mad as he swirls round and round making me cry out his name and push back hard, as I want him deeper inside of me.

"God Craig," I say with my needy voice, the one he hardly ever turns down, "Please fuck me, I… I.. need to feel you inside me…"

He stopped rather abruptly after I said that and stood up as I whimpered and turned to look at him, he smiled though and I thought that he'd fuck me now, so imagine my disappointment when he reached behind me and turned off the water, pecked me on the cheek and then grabbed our towels holding mine out for me, I pouted, something I don't pull of that well, but he hardly ever gives me reason to pout so I don't need to pull it off well. "Not here JP," he simply says and wraps the towel around his waist, though it doesn't really hide his prominent erection. I just nod my head like an obedient child does when their parent says something and wrap my towel around my waist, not really caring that my erection is as prominent as Craig's.

Once we're in the bedroom and the door is locked, Craig drops his towel and pulls mine off, before pushing me gently over to the bed, and with a shove I'm on my back looking up at him. He just stays there looking expectantly at me and I think that he wants me to get ready for him, so I shuffle back, and spread my legs which just makes him shake his head and then with his finger he indicates that he wants me to turn around and get up on all fours, I frown and look questioningly at him, but he just gives me this look that says don't say anything, I know what I am doing, so I turn round and get up and all fours.

I feel him climb onto the bed with me and then I feel it, I feel his shaft around my arse, Craig parts my cheeks and then rubs his shaft up and down my opening, then teases me with the head of his cock, applying little pressure but not breaching me, making me whimper as I attempt to push back, attempt to get him inside of me where I desperately want to feel him, but my attempt only earns me another light slap on my cheek and he shuffles slightly away from me. "You have to be patient John Paul," he says firmly, but there is a hint of teasing in his voice and once more I find myself nodding obediently as I look back at him. "Now turn around," he tells me and I do, as he shuffles closer to me again.

I wait patiently and for a bit he doesn't do anything other than rub his hand over my back, I do recall thinking this must look rather funny, me on all fours, arse pointing towards the door and my boyfriend just sat there rubbing my back, but all thoughts are soon gone, replaced with moans of pleasure as he begins to lick at my core again, his tongue quickly gaining entry into my depths, quickly goes back to driving me crazy, quickly going back to teasing me and pleasuring me in ways Craig has never done before.

He chuckles inside of me as I groan out his name and that chuckle, I swear it travelled through my entire body and made my cock twitch which just made me groan out louder telling him to do that again, and he did, he did it repeatedly and I felt like he was inside of me, inside every last bit of me, I felt like he was caressing me in the most intimate way, just all over. I was so turned on at this point that I began ordering him to do things harder, or softer. Naturally he ignored me, as it was him who was in control, but I still kept my orders up, I had to do something as he wouldn't let me have my release.

My mind was all over the place due to the state he had me in, so I didn't notice when he stuck two fingers inside of me, as he continued to lick me out, and as those fingers connected with my prostate I went mental, I wanted him to make me come, I needed to come and I screamed at him to make me come now, which just made him chuckle inside of me, once more sending this bolt of energy right through my entire body, making my cock twitch, but still he didn't do what I wanted him to do, he just kept pushing against my prostate as he licked around and just inside my entrance making me groan and push back and just ache for the release.

He had other ideas though, at least for a while he stops licking me but continues to have his fingers inside of me, playing with that wonderful gland inside of me. My entire body is trembling, and I've lost all the power I had in my arms, so I slump down my head on the pillow in front of me and moan as he plays me the way he wants to.

I cry out as he grips my cock, pushes against my prostate and licks at my opening all at the same time, all out of a sudden. He begins to wank me slowly, lingering longer at the sensitive head that's been leaking my juices for what feels like ages, I can feel my entire body is tingling, I can feel it in my toes, I can feel it in my fingers, I can feel it in my back, and in my chest, hell I can feel in my nipples and in my hair too.

Craig chuckles again with his fingers and tongue deep inside of me, sending another bolt of energy right through me, making me see stars before my eyes, making my cock twitch in his grip, making me cry out his name as I lose control totally. I feel my orgasm rush through me and I keep on crying out his name as he expertly brings me over the edge, my cock exploding in rapid bursts as he works his hand over my shaft, my arse clenching around his fingers as they continue to play with that wondrous spot inside of me. My entire body shakes, and all I can think about is Craig, how I can feel him in every single part of me.

I collapse on the bed as my orgasm passes and feel him wrap his arms around me as he holds me close to him, while I recover.

I shudder in delight as I think back to what had just happened some minutes ago and remember the promise he made me, pressing a kiss to his chest, I look down to see his cock is still rock hard and oozing pre cum, I reach out my hand and wrap my fingers around it, squeezing out a bit more pre cum which I rub onto the head with my thumb, making him groan out his appreciation.

I look up and into his eyes, nodding my head after a moment in reply to the question he didn't need to ask. He smiles softly as he cups my face and presses a soft and warm kiss onto my lips, we don't part from the kiss, not really, our lips are connected for an eternity, or at least it feels like an eternity but it also feels wonderful, I love it when he kisses me, I love to feel his tongue inside of my mouth, hell after what he did to me earlier I love to feel his tongue anywhere on or in my body.

I roll onto my back, with him on top of me as he deepens the kiss, his tongue tasting the insides of my mouth as his hands go to my head, his fingers playing with my hair, now I don't know what's come over him today, but I feel like he's making love to all of me, even my skin and my hair and my bones, don't get me wrong we've made love before, we've fucked before, but it's never been like this, I hope it is like this sometimes in the future too.

I whimper as Craig pulls back from the kiss and nibbles lightly on my lower lip, before peppering my face with soft kisses as he kisses a path down to my throat, continuing down to my nipples both of which he sucks and bites and blows on, until they are impossibly stiff, the best part about this is that he stays in eye contact with me throughout all that he is doing, and I can see in his eyes that he wants me, I can see his need for me, I can see it and I can practically feel it as it is more or less oozing out of his eyes.

He continues his downwards journey while kissing and licking my body, and delves his tongue into my belly button, twirling it around there for a while as I groan out my appreciation at this particular action. He discovered a while back that my belly button gets me going and I'll do anything he wants if he just pays attention to it, just like I know that if I nibble just below his left earlobe I can get him to do anything I want. Though granted I get my way more times than he does, since he has to take of my clothes to get to the place that gets me going, while his is just there at all times.

I smile as he grins wickedly and know that whatever he's going to do next, I'll enjoy it, since he has that smug expression on his face that usually means he's up to no good, in a good way. "Oh god Craaaaig…" he takes my fully hard, and reawakened cock, deep in his mouth and works his tongue over the sensitive head making me shudder in delight as I buck my hips and force myself as far in as I can, almost making him gag in the process, but he manages and with only a slight glare aimed my way. "Sorry," I manage to say before he forces the tip of his tongue into the slit of my cock making me cry out.

Dropping me from his mouth, to my rather vocal protestations, he decides to play with my balls, sucking firstly one then both of them into his mouth, gently biting them, and just being a little tease, while he continues to look up at me, with this smug, yet angelic expression on his face, yeah angelic, I don't know how he manages to pull it off with my balls in his mouth, but if anyone can it'll be Craig Dean.

He crawls back up and lays down on top of me, letting our hard cocks rub together as he kisses me again, I wrap my arms around his back and kiss him back, smiling as I kiss him, when he lets me enter his mouth for a change, lets me have control of something for the first time since I suggested we go take a shower, however long ago that was. I savor the taste of him, and swirl my tongue around his mouth as much as I can before he takes back the control and pushes me back into my mouth.

I break away to breathe after a while of continuous kissing and he takes this as the moment to sit up, position himself between my legs and hoist them up in the air, I watch him as he looks around for something, then his eyes land on my cock and they glaze over as he seemingly goes into his thoughts for a slight moment, before nodding to himself as he bites his lip.

Reaching out a hand, he firmly wraps his fingers around my cock, and wipes away the pre cum with his thumb, he squeezes out more and more, and I'm not complaining, hell I'm enjoying this. When he is satisfied, he lets go of my cock and smears the fluid on his fingers, before directing them between my legs towards my hole. It doesn't take him long, or much to loosen me up, he'd done a pretty darn good job of it earlier with his fingers and tongue.

Spotting the bottle of lube, I don't know how he missed it, but he did, I reach out for it and hand it to him, then watch him apply some of the fluid to his cock before he positions it at my entrance. The look of concentration on his face warms my heart, I know he wants to make this something I remember for a long time so I wait patiently as he suddenly remembers something and reaches for his pillow, then indicating for me to lift my hips, which I do, he puts the pillow under me, making sure I'm comfortable, before repositioning his cock at my entrance. This time, this time he begins to push into me, and oh god does it feel amazing to finally, FINALLY, feel him push inside me with something other than his tongue and fingers.

I make a small sound and he stops all movement, "You okay?" he wonders and I nod my head, it wasn't a pained sound, just something he hadn't heard before I suppose, or he's just concentrating so much that he thought he was hurting me. He keeps looking at me though so I smile and cup his face, pulling him down towards me, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, showing him that I am alright. He bites his lip then nods, and continues to slowly push into me, until he is buried fully inside of me.

Dropping my legs down, I wrap them around his waist, effectively locking him into place, raising my eyebrows suggestively, making him chuckle as he begins to slowly move inside of me. He knows what I want from him now and I know he will give it to me.

Craig is slow in the beginning, making each thrust last long and is tender and caring, kissing me once in a while, then he slowly picks up the pace and becomes a little bit rougher, though still caring and now begins to hit the right buttons so to speak, as he brushes over my prostate, "Oh god, right there," oh I liked that and made it clear to him that I liked it, and he understands as he keeps doing that for a little bit, chuckling as he looks between us and as I look too I see my cock is rock hard and oozing pre cum.

"You like that, eh?" he wonders and I nod my head as he grips my hips, hoisting me a little bit higher as he fucks me harder, to my appreciative groans. He is truly the best lover I've ever had, hell he's the only one I ever let fuck me more than once, normally I'm the top, and… oh my god..

"Craig… Oh…. God… sweet…he..aaaar…t…" oh god that feels good, "Right… there… don't stop!" I cry out as he hits my sweet spot again and again while at the same time gripping my cock and working his hand over the shaft quickly as his thumb rubs at the sensitive head.

He keeps wanking me as he fucks me harder and harder, each thrust hitting my prostate, making me cry out and making my eyes roll to the back of my head, he's pleasuring me like never before and I'm loving it, I can feel my second orgasm rush through my body and… "Ohhhh" my cock erupts in his hand and my juices spill over onto my stomach and his hand, I feel myself contract around him. But he keeps going, he doesn't for a second let go of my cock, nor does he stop fucking me.

My entire body is hypersensitive at this moment, but he seems to be on a mission and just won't stop, I cry out for god knows which time today as he pinches my right nipple with his free hand. "You are so beautiful John Paul," he groans as he picks up the pace, practically slamming into me, hitting right where it feels really really really good at the same time as my cock just throbs in his hold.

"Fuck Craig…" I manage to say, because I am having a really hard time speaking at this point in time, "Harder…. Sweetheart… harder…" and from somewhere he does manage to fuck me even harder and god it feels so good, so amazingly good that you'd have to try it to know what I mean. But you can't, since he's mine, Craig Dean is mine and mine alone, so hands off.

"I'm gonna.." he groans as he locks eyes with me, which is a rather good job, since my eyes are all over the place, I'm having a hard time focusing on anything other than what he is doing to me. I don't think I've ever felt this loved or wanted before, it's like he's gotten into that secret place in my head where I stash all my secret fantasies, all the things I don't dare ask him about as I fear they'd freak him out and he'd run a mile, but after this, after today… Maybe I can ask things of him and not fear his reaction? "Oh GOD, John Paul…" he cries out and I can tell from the way he keeps licking his lips and the way his eyes can't stay open for much more than a couple of seconds that he is close to his release, but that he is holding back.

I somehow manage to pull his face down to mine and kiss him hard on the lips as he continues to pleasure me, I want this to last forever, I want this feeling to stay in my memory for the rest of my life, I just want him. "Oh my GOD… CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIG" I howl as my third orgasm shoots out of me, covering both our bellies and his hand, at the same time as I feel him finally let go.

"Oh John Paul, JP… I love… g… I so… I… I fucking love you…" He cries out as he empties himself inside of me, finally giving in to his release, finally filling me up and marking me as his, and his alone.

He collapses on top of me as his orgasm passes and I wrap my arms around him, holding him tightly to me as he recovers. I let my fingers play with his hair as I kiss his head, chuckling when he lifts it and looks at me with that smug expression from earlier. He doesn't say a single word, but I know what he means by that, I know and I nod my head agreeing with him. That was the best sex I've ever had and only he can ever pleasure me in that way.

He pulls his deflated cock out of me as I stretch my legs, and then covers us with the duvet, snuggling up close to me, I can tell he's exhausted and smile as he presses a kiss to my chest before slowly nodding off. I stay up for a while longer just looking at him, and for the first time in my life I actually feel truly and utterly happy, there's nothing that can ruin this feeling for me, because all I've ever wanted was for Craig Dean to love me and show me that he loved me, and he has, he has in so many ways in these almost two months that we've been back together, it's just, my life is perfect and for some reason I feel like I might just be the one McQueen who lucks out and ends up in a proper relationship that won't be over in less than a year.

Shaking my head I chuckle as I think about how my life could've ended up being, if I hadn't gotten Craig back, would I have gotten into a relationship with the Priest? God I really hope I wouldn't have, I mean.. yeah he was good in the sack, but he was by far the worst of the guys I've had sex with, and demanding too, real selfish in bed, not like my sweetheart. I look at Craig's face and smile, no nothing like Craig, Craig thinks about me first, then about himself. I love him so much, so so much, and I won't let anything pull us apart ever again.

Closing my eyes I smile as the first image I see is Craig, he's everywhere, inside my head, behind my eyelids, in my arms, yeah that's the best one though, all the others are nice, but to actually hold him in my arms, now that's just beyond this world, to have him be mine, now that's something else and something that no one else will experience. He's mine and I'm his.

**Theoretically this chapter could be seen as the final one for this story. However those boys, their friends and relatives just won't shut up, so there's loads more, and more chapters will be posted in the coming weeks and months and so on. Besides I can hardly finish this, without dealing with the characters I don't like.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this little smutty chapter... I'll leave you all to do, whatever you want to do, and go back to celebrating my birthday. :)**


	33. Chapter 33

**I've been doubting if I should post this or if the last chapter should be the final one, but as these boys and the people in their lives are still yapping on inside my head, I figure I'll just continue posting and see what comes of it. **

**Short chapter this time, just some thoughts from Rich. **

**Rich**

Fuck fuck fuck FUCK, I really have to get over Craig, I can't go around feeling like this about him all the time, it's not fair on Paula, and I really like him as a mate, want to keep him as one too, and I know if I don't snap out of this then I'll lose him completely. I do love Paula, really I do, but it's not the same, it's just not the same as what I feel for Craig.

There's been this weird tension between me and the rest of the guys living here these past weeks, Rae and Kate have been great, really supportive and all, and I can tell Joe is trying to be a mate, without going into all the touchy feely stuff, but Craig, he's really been, cold towards me, we don't really chat as we used to, at least not since that day where he asked me and I told him that I was in love with him.

Funny thing is, before him, there had been some guys that I was interested in, and had been with, but with him, there's just something about him that made me want to be with him, made me want to have him like me. I think I liked him instantly from the first time I saw him, even though he kept to himself back then, never bothered saying much, if anything, to us. He's fit though; I'd seen him some times on his way in to or out of the bathroom in the morning, without his top on and wow. It took him some time, but he did open up more to the rest of us, though I did feel like him and Rae had a stronger bond and that there was something he wasn't telling us.

We did become mates and while we did go out together, drink and have fun, he never actively looked for a girl to be with, once Joe, Kate and I asked him about it he sort of brushed us off, only to come back down and join us in the living room some hours later to tell us he was still in love with his ex back in England, and until he got all that sorted he wasn't interested in any other person.

Now still, being in love with an ex, I know everything about, so I got where he was coming from, but I also knew he had to try and move on and though I did respect his wishes I did try and hook him up with some girls every now and then, but he clearly wasn't interested and I figured this ex girlfriend he had still meant a lot to him.

I think my feelings for him had always been there, but as I saw he was closed off and genuinely thought he was straight, I pushed them aside, figuring nothing would ever come of them, so I went out and met Paula and, well I couldn't have been happier.

I don't even remember why we'd brought back that girl with us last month, that red head, what's her name again… Paula's mate… Oh well doesn't matter, we'd figured we'd finally get Craig to go out with someone and just have fun, it needn't be anything serious, just a date. We'd gotten home and Craig was sat on the couch with Rae and this blond bloke, who I assumed was Rae's date.

In a way I suppose I do understand why Craig reacted like he did, but I'd never, and I mean never, not in a million years figured he'd say he had a boyfriend, it was like a punch to the gut, he was into guys, he could've possibly been mine had I just known and acted on it.

His boyfriend, John Paul, I suppose he's a nice enough bloke, I just couldn't get myself to say anything to him, as I felt he'd taken something from me, which is just beyond ridiculous as Craig was never mine, he's always been John Paul's and I know this, I know this, Rae has told me this a lot same with Kate and I know they're right, but it still just doesn't change the fact that I feel like I've lost out on something that could possibly have been great.

But no, I have to get over this, I have to show Craig and I guess John Paul too, that I can deal with this, that I know better than trying to split them up, though I'd never do that, but I suppose in a way I don't blame John Paul for thinking that, for wondering if I'd try something. But even if I wanted I doubt Craig would notice, well no I know he wouldn't notice.

Bah, this is just typical, the first guy I fancy in ages and then he's totally oblivious to it and will only ever be with one guy, so there's no chance for me at all, even if those two were to split up. Though with the noises they were making when I got back home… Yeah there's nothing that'll split them up.

I was feeling slightly odd earlier today when I kissed Paula good bye and headed for school and I did manage to sit through one class, before having to dash to the toilet to be sick. I've no idea what's wrong with me, but I decided to go home and get in bed. I got as far as to my room, when I heard this loud howl followed by someone calling out Craig's name followed moments later by Craig proclaiming his love for John Paul. Now it's not exactly the first time I've heard those two being loud while up in their room, but… This time, it just sounded so final, like they were making some sort of lifetime commitment to each other and it was like having someone rip my heart out and laugh while I twisted in pain. I think that sealed it for me, made it perfectly clear that I'd never have Craig and that I really should stop pining for him.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling though as I realized this, and locking the door to my room, I got into bed, put my ipod in my ears and just curled up as I allowed myself to cry over the loss of Craig Dean for the last time, despite him never having been mine.

I'm still in bed now feeling a tad bit ill, sniffling a bit and trying to find the strength to move on, I know I can, I know I have Paula and… Yeah I'll do this, no more pining for Craig Dean. I have to show him and John Paul that I am over this and want to be mates with them, just mates, nothing else.

**Thanks to everyone who's still reading this, I know I'm taking my time with updating, but I have a bit more free time on my hands now, so I'll try to get a chapter up each week. **

**Hope you enjoyed.**


	34. Chapter 34

**I hope you're all having a great weekend.**

**Craig**

Waking up, I stretch my legs and yawn widely as I scratch my stomach, smiling as his grip around my waist tightens. Opening my eyes I look at the sleeping form of my boyfriend and instantly the butterflies do summersaults inside of my stomach, he's really here, we're both here, and we're both living together now, this fucking minute now, no more being apart.

If anyone had told me this would happen two months ago I'd have laughed in their face, I'd have hoped for it to happen, but never believed it'd happen this soon. We've covered a lot of things these past months, I do feel like this is our second chance and I know I won't mess up again, I know I love him and he loves me and I know it's okay to love him, it's okay for him to love me, it's okay for us to be together.

Everything that I was so afraid of last year, everything that broke us apart, it's not there anymore, I know what I want now, I know I want him and only him. I want my John Paul, I want him and he wants me, this is for keeps. Yeah this is for keeps.

I brush a soft kiss to his cheek as I run my fingers through his blond hair, he's absolutely beautiful and this is the first day of the rest of our lives. It does sound a bit corny, I mean we're so young, but I just know he's the one I'll love for the rest of my life, regardless of what obstacles life throws our way, I know deep inside, know that he is it for me from now on, and as scary as a lifelong commitment sounds, it doesn't sound scary when it's with John Paul. He makes me feel safe, loved and just happy, he makes me happy.

I brush my hand down his side, landing on his bum, chuckling as I recall what we did a while ago, it does amaze me how amazing sex with my John Paul can be, each and every single time is just wonderful, though today was rather extraordinary, I don't even know where I got the idea to do that, to try and make him come like that, but it worked. Being John Paul he did try to get in control a couple of times, but other than that, I think he liked it. Well judging by that howl he let out as he came for the third time, I'd say he loved it.

The best part about all of it, besides me fucking him, has to be that we had so much eye contact throughout all of it, there's just something magical about looking into the eyes of the person you're having sex with, and when that person is John Paul, well then that magical feeling multiplies by a million. When his eyes rolled to the top of his head, when I was hitting that spot just right and making him come, that was just it for me, that nearly made me come right then and there, but I held back, I wanted to make him come first, wanted to stay in control, and I did, but once he howled my name like that as he came, god that was incredible, that I could make him make such a sound, that I managed to pleasure him so much, that made me come and it made me come hard. I'd say that was the most intense orgasm of my life. I'm not sure, but I think I might have blacked out for a couple of seconds, because for just those couple of seconds after I came, I just felt like I wasn't there. I don't know how to explain it, but I just felt like I was inside of him, instead of being in my own body.

That was our first time sleeping together as a proper couple that lives together, and it sure was memorable, I know I won't be forgetting about it anytime soon, and judging by the sounds he was making, I doubt he'll be forgetting it either. For me this was the perfect way to begin our new lives together, it was simply mind-blowing, yeah mind-blowing, it feels like we made a commitment to each other, I just feel closer to him now, after that, than I did when we first woke up this morning.

He stirs and I tighten my hold on him, shuffling closer, until our noses are almost touching, then I just look at his face. Slowly he opens his eyes, blinking a couple of times before focusing and locking almost instantly with mine, "Hey," he says tiredly as he smiles and I return his smile as I brush a kiss to his lips. "What time is it?" he wonders and I just shrug while rubbing my hand up and down his back.

"Don't care and don't want to find out, too comfortable where I am right now," I inform him as I pull him closer to me and rub our noses together in an Eskimo kiss. We just stay like that for a while, gazing into each other's eyes and holding each other, there's no place either of us would rather be.

It's only when John Paul jerks suddenly and lets out a pained gasp as he grips his thigh that we actually do part, "Owww owww owww" he squeezes his eyes shut and instantly I'm up on my knees trying to see what's wrong, "Cramp, fuck that hurts Craig." He continues and I just remove his hands and begin to massage the spot he was gripping on the back of his thigh, until he relaxes and opens his eyes. I look at him, my eyes seeking his to see if he's okay now, and as he smiles I stop what I am doing, letting him drop his leg down again as I sit back on my heels. "Thanks," he says as he reaches for my hand, pulling me down on top of him, pressing a kiss to my lips.

"Anytime JP, anytime you need me, I'll be there," I tell him as he wraps his arms around my back, holding me close to him, as my head rests next to his. Now the position we're in at the moment could very easily lead to something sexual, but we're both just content with what we are doing right now, and there's plenty of time for all the sex in the world, we've got the rest of our lives for that.

"I think we should shower again," he says after a while and I simply nod my head, "Then we can unpack or make some food," I smile and press a kiss to his cheek as I get up, and get off the bed. I look around for the dressing gowns and remember they are down in the bathroom. I find our towels and wrap mine around my waist, holding his out for him as he gets out of bed.

His towel securely in place, we leave our room and head for the bathroom. Once there we resume our shower from earlier on, me picking up the flannel from the floor where we'd left it, this time washing John Paul properly and not in any sexual way, and then having him stand under the water rinsing all the soap off, he then gives me the same treatment, paying particular attention to my chest, I notice, and then once he's done, he guides me in under the water and watches as the soap gets washed away.

We don't stay in the shower for long, John Paul does give me a warm kiss while we're in there, but other than that we get out rather quick, him drying me off and me drying him off, before putting on the dressing gowns and heading up for our room to get dressed.

Once dressed we unpack his things, fairly quickly too, and I just smile as I see his things hanging together with mine in the closet, his striped hooded shirts with my cardigans. His socks and underwear in his drawer, mine in mine just above his. It's our room and we share everything and he's actually here, I'm just so happy I don't even know how to contain it. "I can't believe it," I tell him quietly as he stashes his suitcase in under the bed. He gets up and looks questioningly at me as he walks over to where I'm stood, "You're actually here, living here, we're living together, we're properly together now." I just shake my head disbelievingly, he's really here, this is really happening and it's happening now.

"I know sweetheart," he smiles warmly as he wraps his arms around my waist, "This is it, you and me together as a proper couple, eh?" Nodding my head I smile as I look at him, "How scary is that?" He chuckles and I shake my head.

"It not…" tilting his head and biting his lip he looks at me as I stop speaking, and for a moment we just look at each other, "It's not scary JP, it's wonderful." I nod to myself, "It's what I wanted last year, and it might have taken us a while to get to this point, but we're here, and it's not scary, it's wonderful. It's wonderful to have the man I love be here with me, to be able to share my life with you properly now." I smile and press a kiss to his lips, "To be able to come home from school and have you here to hug, to kiss, to just tell you about my day, it's… It's not scary, it's wonderful, and I'm really happy that you're here."

Tightening his grip around my waist, he pulls me closer to him, pressing a somewhat soft kiss to my lips, before wrapping his arms securely around my back, pulling me in for one of his hugs, a hug that always makes me feel safe, I wrap my arms around him and we stand there like that for a while, just breathing in each other's scent.

"So boyfriend," he says as we part, making me giggle, "What should we do now?"

I think about it for two seconds, "Well I think we should eat something, and then you should call Myra," he scrunches his nose up at that, but I just look at him until he nods his head, "We're not starting this living together business off with a lie, your mum needs to know that you've moved here," I inform him and he just nods again, "After you talked to her, I suppose we could just cuddle downstairs for a while, watch tv?"

"Sounds good," he agrees, "And yeah, suppose I better call mum…" sighing he shakes his head, "But food first, and a brew," he grips my hand and walks us out of the room.

**Thanks for reading.**


	35. Chapter 35

**John Paul**

So we ended up ordering some take away, since Craig had nothing we could make food out of, suppose I'll have to make sure he eats properly from now on. I've noticed he eats loads of rubbish, and he's a little bit too thin, I know he hasn't been eating properly, but yeah there's nothing wrong in a proper home cooked meal every now and again.

We've just finished our brews and he's giving me this really funny look, and I can almost hear him say what he's about to say before he even says it, "John Paul, it's time, go call Myra," I chuckle to myself and shake my head, it's amazing that I am already able to predict what he wants to say to me. "You promised me a cuddle, so the sooner you get that phone call over with, the sooner we can cuddle up in the chair."

"Okay okay," I sigh as I get up, "This might take a while," I tell him as I brush my thumb over his cheek, before turning and leaving the kitchen. I head up the stairs to go get my phone and then make the call up from our room. I'm in my thoughts, thinking about how to tell my mum, or rather more, thinking of what to say to her, cause it'll be easy to blurt out that I am in Dublin and I won't be coming back, but her questions, believe me there will be questions, I have to answer those and I have to answer them correctly. I'm so deep in my thoughts I don't notice the door open and the person step out, until I bump into him.

"Oh.. sorry sorry," I shake my head and look up to see Rich stood there.

"It's alright," he says with a shrug, "And, eh… hi.." he scratches his head, I look at him for a moment and notice that he is looking pale and his eyes are red, frowning I bite my lip before opening my mouth.

"Hi… ehm…" I rub on my neck, "Are you…" he looks expectantly at me so I continue, "Are you alright?" he frowns so I elaborate, "Only you look…" I shake my head, "Well to be honest, you look like crap, are you ill or?"

"Oh…" he nods, "Yeah, I think so, felt off and then was sick at school, so just came back to sleep."

"Right, well, hope you feel better then…" I say and begin to walk away, over to the stairs to go up to our room.

"Look," I stop and turn to look at him, "Do you have a minute, I think we should…." He breathes in deeply and lets it out as I tilt my head slightly while continuing to look at him, "Ehm… I think maybe we should talk… You know clear the air…" He seems really nervous as he's stood there waiting for me to reply. Now I don't know him that much, well hardly at all, but I can tell that he needs to get something off his chest and I suppose if I am to live in the same house as the guy then at least we should be able to be civil to each other, I think.

"Yeah sure," I shrug, and watch as he goes back into his room. I stand there for a moment, and then follow him inside, closing the door behind me. He's sat down on his bed, looking around I spot his desk chair and sit myself down on it, before looking expectantly at him. He clears his throat a couple of time, then looks at me.

"I know…" he hesitates and I just nod for him to carry on, "Ehm… Look I know, you know that I have feelings for Craig, right?" I nod again, "Yeah… I know there is no chance there, I know you're it for him, and eh… Well I never tried anything, I just had the feelings you see and…" he stops and for a while he's just quiet, I do sense his internal struggle to get the words out though, so I just wait patiently, trying to figure out where he's going with this.

"I know I've been really off with you the times you've been here, not that I've stayed here when I knew you'd be coming, but yeah… And that's partly because I felt like you took something from me, which is stupid since well you can't take something away that wasn't mine to begin with…" he shakes his head, "I think what I'm trying to get to here, is that I'm sorry for being an idiot," he looks directly into my eyes, "I know I've been off with you and… well it's hardly your fault I'm feeling the way I'm feeling." He pauses again and I sense he isn't done so I wait patiently for him to continue.

"I just… I think… I want you to know that whatever I did feel for Craig, it's over now…" he looks at me again, "I have Paula and I am happy with her, and I don't want to lose Craig as a mate you know… Don't want any awkwardness in the house because people feel sorry for me or whatever," he sighs and shakes his head, "I suppose I just want things to go back to how they were before all this came out, but well I know it can't be exactly the same, but I mean…" he seems lost now so I step in.

"You want us all to start over and leave the past behind us?" I wonder and after thinking about it he slowly nods his head.

"If you and Craig think you can?"

"Well, you'll have to speak to Craig really, but for my part sure…" I shrug, "I mean we're going to be living together all of us so it'd be good not to have some awkwardness there whenever all of us are together in the same room."

"You think he'll listen to me? Only lately he's been…" he thinks about it, "I dunno, sort of cold towards me, and yeah in a way I do get why, I think… But eh…" he scratches his head and once again I step in.

"I think he will yeah, I don't know why he's been cold towards you, but he'll want to talk to you, I think he'll be wanting to clear the air as much as you do." I sigh and then get up, "He's in the kitchen, go talk to him yeah?" Rich nods and I walk over to the door, "I'll be down in a bit, just have to call my mum." I shake my head and reach for the handle, pausing mid movement and turning to look at him again. "I've been where you've been you know, I've been in love with him and he was clueless, we've been through so much together and apart, me and him. I really think we are made for each other and I know it hurts to love him and for him not to return that feeling, but that's life for you sometimes." I shrug, "I mean he could've just as easily moved on after he came here, found a girl, had a good life, I could've been left behind and would've probably made a huge mistake, but he didn't want anyone else, he wanted me and for him to admit to that, it's such a huge step." I look at Rich and can tell this does hurt for him to hear and I don't really want to hurt him, but I think he needs to know this. "Look, I guess my point is, you will find someone who'll make you feel just as good as Craig makes me feel. Maybe you already have found that in Paula, or maybe it will be some other guy or girl, it's just… Don't stop believing that it will happen."

I chuckle, "I mean, for a while there I did think I'd moved on, I still loved Craig, that never stopped, but I thought he'd never be able to be the man he is now, so I moved on and I made mistakes and in the end I just realized that regardless I had to be with him. I came here and I suppose I was lucky, because as I say, he could've just as easily have moved on from me."

"I think Paula might be the one," Rich says carefully, "I mean, I've been a bit distant lately and all, but I do love her, and now I'll focus fully on her, show her I love her and want to be with her."

"That's good," I smile and then grip the door, opening it, "I'm going to go make that phone call," sighing I shake my head, "Go talk to Craig, and if he's stubborn, then tell him, I said to stop being an arse, sit down and listen." I chuckle as does Rich, but I can see he's still unsure about what to say to Craig, "Just tell him things that you want him to know, I know he doesn't seem like the person you can talk about feelings and stuff to, but you can, just don't worry about it and it'll be fine." I smile reassuringly as I head out of the room.

"Thanks," he says as he follows me out and heads over to the stairs that lead down.

"It's nothing," I reply as I head up and he goes down.

Right so that's one conversation over with, though I hadn't really expected it, hell I'd even thought it was Joe I'd bumped into earlier, but no it was Rich and, for some reason I do believe him when he says he's over Craig, well maybe not entirely, but I can tell that he is trying and unlike me he does swing both ways, and he has a girlfriend who he thinks he loves so he has that someone else to be with, I never had that, I couldn't use Hannah after I came out and it wouldn't have been fair of me to do that, poor girl suffered enough thanks to me and Craig.

I shake my head and stop myself from going into that path, I've got bigger things to worry about, I've got to call my mum and tell her I've moved to Dublin, tell her I'm not coming back home, tell her that, our good bye yesterday was the permanent good bye. Yeah I am really not looking forward to this.

Getting the phone, I turn it on then access my contacts, scrolling down till I find mum's number, taking a deep breath I press call and wait for it to connect.

**Phone call, coming up next. **


	36. Chapter 36

**Here we go, the phone conversation with Myra. **

**Myra**

I wonder when that boy will be back, it's one thing to be rude to the Priest once, but this past week, ever since Craig came for a visit, he'd been nothing but rude, almost trying to pick a fight, and we need to talk about that, he needs to apologize to Father Kieron.

He's avoiding coming home though, I'd expected him back yesterday, but no he went out with his mates. He knows he's in for a good talking too, he's no fool that son of mine.

Is that my phone ringing… Oh, where is it now? Ah there it is. I thought it was in my purse, probably Michaela's been using it again.

"Hello?"

"Hi mum,"

"John Paul, where are you? It's getting late, you should be home."

"Ehm…Yeah.. About that…"

"Look son…"

"Mum… mum… just let me speak yeah?"

I frown at this, but nod before realizing he can't see me, "Alright son," I sit down and wait for him to continue.

"Look… I probably should've told you this yesterday…" he sighs and something in his voice makes me think I'm not going to like hearing whatever it is he's going to tell me. "God this is harder to say than I thought it would be…" he continues and my mind goes into overdrive, has something happened, is he ill?

"Ehm… okay, I'm just going to tell you as it is, okay?"

"Okay son…"

"Okay… so… Ehm, the thing is… I…" he's taking his time with this and the thing I'm fearing the most right now is him telling me he's ill. "Right… You see, I've… That is… We…"

"You have AIDS don't you? It's AIDS?" I blurt out as I interrupt him, "My beautiful boy," I can't bear the thought of him having that horrible disease.

"What? No… Mum no, it's not that… It's nothing serious like that, calm down."

"Then what is it John Paul? Nothing can be as horrible as that."

"You might think so…" he pauses for a moment and then continues, "Look, the thing is, I've come to the conclusion that I have to be with Craig, and I've decided that I'm moving to Dublin."

I instantly relax, "Oh… But I know this."

"No, I mean I moved already… Like yesterday when I left home, that was the last time I left it as a person who lived there permanently. Right now I am sat in my home in Dublin calling you, telling you this."

"You what?"

"I've moved away mum."

"But… You've left? What about your school, your mates and your family?"

"Yeah I left." He pauses for a moment, "I'll miss you, all of you and my mates, but my place is here now, this is where I am meant to be." I can tell his is smiling, even through the phone, "I don't know about school, I'll look into some things, in fact Craig has been rather insistent that I do that, so I'll see about registering at a community college here, or doing some distance learning or evening school, I don't know yet, but I'll get my degree even if it takes me a bit longer to do it."

"But… Why now? Why not wait and move away next month like you were planning?"

He sighs before speaking, "Because it felt, feels right, because this is what I want… You know we'd have had to have so little contact this next month, what with our exams and all, and I couldn't and neither could he… We have to be together, it's… When I'm with him, I feel like everything is okay, I feel loved, and when we're apart I feel like my heart is going to burst because I miss him so much that it actually hurts."

I sigh and shake my head, I know he's the happiest he's been in months, well since he came home from the airport that day last year, he's fooled us all into thinking he'd gotten over Craig, but… Well I can't deny the change in him after he came back from Dublin that first time, he was just more alive. I'm surprised I hadn't noticed all this before, hadn't noticed he was still not over Craig, but with all that had gone on here with the girls. He's the quiet one of the family, the one who easily fades away when all the girls have their tantrums, he's good at never bothering me, even when he has problems and needs me.

"You are in love and want to be with the person you are in love with?" I finally ask him and hear him let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Yeah, exactly, and I know you might not think this is the right decision, but for me it is, and in the end that's all that matters." He informs me making me smile to myself, that boy has always been independent, once his mind is set on something then that's how it will be and usually that's how it is. He had a glitch with the entire Craig business last year, but otherwise he gets what he wants, and I suppose he did get his Craig in the end.

"As long as you're happy John Paul," I can't exactly forbid him to be with Craig, he is 19 and my days of telling him how to live his life are long gone, "As long as you are sure about this and as long as you are happy son, then live your life the way you want to, but always know you have a home to come back to."

"I am sure mom, really sure." He tells me excitedly, happily even, "Thanks, thanks so much, and we'll come back at some point to say a proper good bye, I think." He finishes and I smile, there isn't much I can do anymore, he's on his own now, has to live his own life, he'll always have his family to come back to, but something deep inside of me tells me that he has found the person who'll look after him for the rest of his life and that I needn't worry about him anymore.

"Good son, but remember whatever happens, you can always call us for a chat, we're still your family, you are still one of us, and we'd like to hear from you every now and then."

"Thanks mum, and I'll keep in touch, I promise."

"What about Frankie, how did she take the news?" I wonder suddenly as I remember Craig's mother and how opposed she was to our sons being together.

"Oh, he hasn't called her, don't know if he will, when we went to see her the other day she wasn't friendly, tried to slap me…" She what? Tried to slap my son, "But Craig pushed me out of the way, and she ended up slapping him instead… He really told her off too, and she kicked us both out," That boy really does care for John Paul then, standing up to his own mother like that, "But he'd told me from before that she's not that important to him, I doubt he'll want to talk to her unless she accepts him for who he is now. He says he's got me and his sisters and that's more than enough for him."

"Tell him he has all of us too," I say, "Anyone who stands up for you, who loves you like that, is a member of this family too, and if he ever needs any motherly advice and Frankie still hasn't come round then he can call me."

"Really?"

"Yes really, if he's going to be the one you spend the rest of your life with then he's going to be included in our crazy flock, ain't he?"

"Yeah… yeah he…" I can sense him smiling at this, "He will be one of us, or I'll be one of them… I hope… But it's too soon to think about that now, we've just moved in together… But thanks mum, thanks a lot, I'll tell him, he'll be really happy, I know he will."

"That's good son," there's a knock on the door, "Look someone's at the door," I tell John Paul as I get up and go to open it, "I'll talk to you soon."

"Yeah, yeah you will mum, and will you tell the girls?"

I open the door, smiling as I see Jacqui and Tina, they both enter and I close the door as I talk to John Paul, "Of course I will John Paul, Tina and Jacqui just came, I'll tell them as soon as I get off the phone,"

"Good, thanks mum…" he sighs, "Love you, bye."

"I love you too son, bye," I smile as he ends the call and look over at my daughters as I sit down on the sofa, dropping the phone on the coffee table.

"That, our John Paul?" Jacqui wonders and I nod my head, "So what will you tell us, and why doesn't he do it himself?" she asks and I smile sadly as I look at her and Tina.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Craig**

Okay so he isn't in love with me anymore, at least that's what I got from the conversation we just had a while ago, he doesn't want to lose me as a mate and he thinks that he would've if he'd not snapped out of the feelings he had for me. So am I the only one who thinks that sounds just a little bit suspicious? When he asked if we could go back to how things were, that John Paul was fine with it, what was I to say? So I'd agreed, and I suppose as long as he seems to be over whatever it is he felt for me, then we can try to get back to how things were before his revelation. But I'm still suspicious and will be for a while.

Now we're sat in the living room, him on the sofa, me in the chair, he's been on and on about the footy and I've just been nodding like a fool, oh he's picking up the remote. Yeah I really should pay attention to what people say to me when I am being talked to, but I can't help it if my brain goes into overdrive. I just can't stop thinking about last year when John Paul said he loved me and then took it back, this is sort of the same, just he says his feelings for me are gone, but well JP said he'd been wrong and then turns out he wasn't… So maybe Rich thinks his feelings for me are gone, but then he'll discover that they aren't?

Oh he's looking at me, what's that, oh, right yeah, I nod my head and he gets up to go get us a drink. As he leaves the room I shake my head and just wonder how I keep attracting guys, I mean one guy was weird enough, and as much as I love John Paul, and I do, with all of my heart, it was really weird to have him tell me he was in love with me, and now I have Rich, it's almost the same pattern with both of them, saying they do, then they don't. Aaaargh, well I know for sure that it's only John Paul, I'll never fall for Rich, I'll never love him, never care for him, never anything for him. I want John Paul, I am with John Paul, we didn't go through all that stuff last year for me to drop him for this guy I barely know.

He returns with cans of coke and I smile as I take the one he holds out for me, open it and take a long sip from it as I turn my attention to the TV as Rich finds us some footy match to watch. I smile as he makes a comment about one of the players and reply trying to not show my inner turmoil and I don't think he suspects anything.

For a while we just watch the game and I do find myself relaxing slightly, though I am still on alert and I really just want John Paul to be here with me to calm me down. As if he heard me John Paul chooses that exact moment to walk into the room, his face lightening up in a smile when he sees me. He walks over to me and sits down in the same chair as I make room for him, before I shuffle about and end up having my legs on top of his as he holds me around the waist.

"How did it go?" I ask him and he looks at me for a moment then shrugs.

"Alright I suppose, she seemed okay, once I told her," he shrugs again, "I think I gave her a scare though, since I didn't really know how to tell her and her mind went into overdrive." He chuckles as he glances over at the TV before looking at me again. "She thought I'd gotten AIDS and was calling her to tell her that." I splutter and almost choke on the cola I had just taken a sip of, making him rub my back till I stop and look incredulously at him.

"She actually asked you if you had AIDS?"

"Yeah," he shakes his head and shrugs. "Suppose I got her worried when I took my sweet time in telling her I'd moved away."

"But…" I frown, what a weird thing to ask about, "But she's okay with you moving and all?"

"Yeah perfectly fine," he presses a kiss to my cheek, "But even if she hadn't been, it wouldn't have mattered, I know I've done the right thing." He squeezes me, pulls me closer to him and holds me there and I let him, let him love me, show me that he loves me like that. It's just a wonderful feeling to be able to do this and not feel ashamed.

"She's not mad at me or anything?" I wonder as I look at him making him chuckle and shake his head, "You know, for taking you away."

"Sweetheart no, and you didn't take me away, you didn't have to, I'd have come anyways, you know that." He tells me, "She was really good about it, even said you could call her for any motherly advice you might need," I raise my eyebrow at this, "You know, if Frankie doesn't come round," he continues and I just nod my understanding.

"Well if I ever need motherly advice I'll take her up on that, though I'd probably call Steph or Debs first, you know, since they are family and know me better."

"Yeah, of course… mum practically said you were family now though," I must look shocked at this as he chuckles and brushes his hand through my hair, "I told her how you stood up to Frankie, how you protected me and well that earned you loads of admiration from her, and I think she figures we'll be together for good… Well as I say she thinks you're part of our family now." He says and then suddenly clams up as he looks nervously at me, I raise my eyebrow questioning his sudden worry and he just looks away.

"John Paul?" Cupping his face I turn him to look at me and see the worry in his eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he shakes his head and smiles, but I can see through that and just look into his eyes until he relents, "Sometimes I just forget that this is all new, you know, and mum was on about us being together and I was telling her you'd be one of us lot, or I'd be one of your lot and…" he bites his lips, "I don't want to freak you out or anything, I mean… This, me living here, you asking me to do that, that's a huge step already and…"

I chuckle and shake my head, making him frown, "shut up and kiss me, you idiot," I chuckle as he tries to pout and pull his face towards me as I kiss him, "You can't freak me out JP, don't worry about things…" I shake my head before continuing, "You're not the only one who's thought those thoughts." I tell him as I rest my head against his, "We'll get there eventually, so don't worry about it and just enjoy this, enjoy our relationship." Looking at his face I see this curious smile spread all over his face before he nods, kisses my nose and then turns his attention over to the TV, pressing a kiss to his cheek I snuggle down closer to him, letting him hold me tightly, as I too get back to watching the footy match.

**Thanks for reading. **


	38. Chapter 38

**Rich**

When will those two come up for air? I looked over at them a while ago, just in time to see Craig nudge John Paul with his nose. John Paul looked at Craig and moments later they were fused together by their lips, and have been ever since. I've tried not to look, but it's… well sort of hypnotizing, they're not doing anything other than just kissing, but you can tell that they truly love each other, it just radiates from them, that love.

I'm hardly being discrete the way I keep looking and I do turn my attention back to the TV once in a while, but, well to be perfectly honest, watching them is more exciting than watching this footy match.

It's perfectly clear to me that what those two have can't be broken apart, and although it does hurt to know I can't ever have Craig, I am, deep down, really pleased for him that he has that special someone in his life. Because the Craig that I first got to know here, and the Craig sat over there sucking on his boyfriends face, well it's two totally different people. This Craig is far happier, far more comfortable around here, he's more… well it's as if he's more alive. The Craig we all spent time with before John Paul came to Dublin some months ago, well… after he began socializing with us he was trying, I think we could all sense that, but he was still miserable.

It's just nice to see him be happy and comfortable here, because I don't think he ever was before, he'd told us how big a deal coming to Dublin, to Trinity, was to him, but it's only these past two months that he seems to be really excited about it, and I know it's all because of John Paul. Sighing to myself I shake my head and stop looking at them, focusing on the TV instead, I do hope what I have with Paula, the relationship we have, I do hope it will become as great as what those two have. I must have been blind if I thought I'd have a shot in with Craig, cause honestly there's no chance in hell he'd even look at me once.

I jump as the doorbell goes off and then look over at the guys as they try to untangle themselves so that one of them can get up to go and open the door. Letting out a chuckle I get up just as Craig accidentally elbows John Paul in the stomach. "Just stay put, and carry on with the face sucking Craig, you'll do less damage that way," I shake my head as they both look at each other and shrug, as I leave the room I see Craig settle back down, cupping John Paul's face once more.

God those two, well we've all heard their lovemaking so really, it shouldn't come as a surprise that they are stuck to each other's lips like that. I do hope we get to socialize with them sometimes, at least I'd like that, and after the talks I had with both of them, I do have a feeling that they both would like that too, well I know they socialize with the others, so I hope I can be included whenever I am actually here.

Opening the door, I am almost pushed aside by Rae as she rushes inside, she's soaking wet and it takes me a minute to realize that it's raining outside, "God, what a day to forget your key, thank god someone was in, or I'd have had to stay out there until one of your guys came home." She shakes off her jacket and then stops as she sees it's me stood there, "What are you doing here?"

"I live here Rae," I chuckle as I take the wet jacket from her, "Now, you go get dried off, and I'll stick the kettle on," I head for the kitchen, "Maybe a cuppa will get those two in there," I gesture to the living room, "to stop sucking on each other's faces for a couple of minutes."

"You what?"

"You heard, now go on, before you catch a cold." I look at her for a moment then chuckle at her shocked expression, "It's fine Rae, all sorted, now go on, your tea will be ready when you get back."

She stays put for a second just looking at me, but I simply smile and head into the kitchen, flicking the kettle on I hear her go upstairs and shake my head once more. She'd been really great during my entire being rejected by Craig period, really supportive, always telling me to focus on Paula, that I would feel better soon, and she was right, in a way, now that I have let go of that fantasy of being with Craig, I do feel better, it's as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

She's a good mate, always there for you, never expecting anything back in return, and I think all of us are really close to her, because she's there, she cares, she listens, she looks out after all of us. I'll have to thank her properly for being there for me when I needed someone, just have to figure out what to do and then do it for her, she deserves that.

I prepare four mugs of tea and once the water boils I add it, then find a tray placing the teas on it, with the bowl of sugar, the milk, some spoons and some biscuits and as I'm heading out the kitchen door, Rae comes down, having changed, with a towel in hand to dry her hair. She smiles and then walks past me, holding open the door to the living room.

Entering the room we both see the two lovebirds are still going at it, with the kissing, Rae instantly places her hand on my shoulder, in a comforting motion, but I just smile to show her I'm okay, and then head over to the coffee-table with the tray, placing it down and then clearing my throat. John Paul and Craig both finally part, "I don't know how you two drink your teas, so I figured you'd just add your own milk and sugar." I tell them as I add milk and sugar to my own mug.

Both of them greet Rae as she comes over and picks up her tea, adding the milk, and sits down on the sofa, I join her and we both watch how John Paul, almost automatically, prepares their teas for them, stirring first one then the other mug, he hands Craig his and then sits back, taking a sip of his own.

**Rae**

I don't think Rich has ever seen those two be together like I have, we've been watching them for a couple of minutes now, and even though they do talk to us and are paying attention to what we're saying, it's rather clear that they only see each other. Normally I'd be offended, but I can't with those two, not when I know their story, not when I know how much Craig has evolved from just a year ago. For him to be like this with another bloke, it's just incredible.

I had been a tad bit surprised when Rich said the guys were home and he'd been in the same room as them, watching them kiss, I'm not sure what's gone on, but they're, all three of them, communicating and it doesn't seem forced. Though I can tell that Craig is still a bit wary and I can see that Rich isn't completely over Craig, but at the same time I do sense that he knows he can't compete with John Paul, and I genuinely believe that he is happy for both of them.

It's funny, you don't really want to look at them, because it is a bit rude, but at the same time you just can't stop yourself, it's as if they are in their own little bubble, at least whenever they look into each other's eyes, and I sense that they are having a silent conversation whenever they do that, at least if the small smiles and nods are anything to go by.

I see Rich smile as Craig leans in and kisses John Paul and it's a bit weird, because I can tell he isn't over Craig, but he seems really happy for him, or them rather, and I do believe that he is actually happy. I'll have to talk to him later, once we all go to bed, I'll just go to Rich's room and talk with him then.

"So did you guys do anything today?" I wonder and watch as all three of them look at me, Rich shakes his head and looking over at the two, I see them both begin to blush. Craig grips John Paul's hand and presses a kiss to the palm of it before addressing me.

"I think we fell even more in love, if that's even possible," he says as he looks directly at me, then turns his head to look at a smiling John Paul, "And I wouldn't change it for the world." He continues as John Paul bites his lip. I take a sip of my tea, as does Rich. "Oh and then JP called his mum, and she thought he'd gotten AIDS."

"You what?" we both ask and look from John Paul to Craig.

"Why'd she ask that?" I wonder.

"Oh, well…" John Paul begins, "I suppose you can say she worries too much, speaks before she thinks…" he looks at Craig who nods, "But it was partially my fault, I was telling her I moved here, you know, like now… And… Well I was a bit nervous about telling her, and she thought this thing I wanted to tell her was health related, it seems, and yeah so she just said that." He shrugs, "I mean, it's a horrible disease, but that's really the first thing she thinks about if I feel just slightly ill," he shakes his head, "You know, gay and AIDS, she worries too much."

"Well that's cause you're the only boy and that's what mothers to, worry about their kids," Craig tells him and I nod my head in agreement.

"Yeah I know Craig, but well it's hardly the best thing to think about or even say to your child."

"True, but you know Myra, she'll always worry, regardless and she'll always assume the worst, that way, no matter what you lot tell her, it won't seem as bad."

"Suppose so, I just wish she didn't always assume the worst, I mean she doesn't think that about any of the girls, just me."

"I think she has loads to worry about with your sisters too, but you know AIDS and being gay it does get associated." Craig informs him and looking at John Paul I see him look at Craig for a moment then slowly nod his head.

"Suppose so," he sighs, then shakes his head, "But anyways, how was your day?" He looks over at me as he speaks and I smile.

"Oh good, yeah.. couple of classes, met up with some friends." I shrug, "Then got caught out in the rain and realized I'd forgotten my key, good think you guys were home, otherwise I'd have been stood outside until someone showed up."

"You could've just called one of us," Craig says and I nod, I probably would've, but still I'd have been outside and yeah been wet and cold.

"Yeah, but if you'd have been downtown it'd still have taken you a bit to get back." He nods at this and I shrug, "But yeah, other than that a good day."

"Oh that's good," John Paul says and then looks over at Rich, "It's good to see you've got more color into your face now, you really did look ill earlier on." He shakes his head, "Must've been some bug or something."

Rich nods and they talk a bit about his day, which hadn't been that eventful, seems he'd felt sick from when he left his girlfriend this morning but hadn't thought much about it, until he'd been sick at school. But he's feeling better now, so I suppose it was just some bug, like John Paul said before.

It's good to see Rich interact with them, a bit weird, but good, I've felt bad that he's been sort of left out of things, but it's not like he was around for that much, he opted to be with his girlfriend for long periods, especially when he knew John Paul would be around. But yeah he's making an effort and so are they, and so far so good, also judging by how they were when I first came in, I'm thinking there has not been any awkwardness, which is good. Maybe we can all get along properly now.

"Right, we're gonna leave you guys to it for a little bit," John Paul says after a while and all of us, Craig too, look at him, "We've got something we have to do…" he continues then looks at Craig, "Or rather, Craig has something he has to do." Looking over at Craig it's obvious he has no idea what John Paul is on about.

"I do?" he wonders, making Rich and me chuckle.

"Yeah you do…" John Paul says with a smile, "We're gonna go up to our room, and then you'll sit down and look through your books and get ready for tomorrow."

Craig instantly shakes his head, "But I did everything before coming out to visit you," he smiles, "There's no need to look at it, I know it all."

"It won't hurt to freshen up your memory then," John Paul says, a bit firmer now.

"But… John Paul…" Craig frowns and is about to continue his protestation when John Paul stands up.

"No buts Craig…" he looks at Craig and continues, "I'm not letting you go to school without being prepared, imagine the amount of hate your mum will be sending my way if you suddenly don't do well in school…" he shakes his head as Craig opens his mouth, "No complaints, no nothing, just up to the room and go through some of your work…" biting his lip he smiles and holds out his hand for Craig to grip, "There'll be a reward for you when you finish."

Craig's face throughout this had gone from frown, to confusion, to pout, but as soon as John Paul mentioned a reward, he perked up, instantly smiling and gripped John Paul's hand as he got to his feet, then practically dragged John Paul out of the room with him.

Looking at Rich, we both end up laughing, I've seen this before, John Paul really wanting Craig to focus on school, even though Craig didn't necessarily want to, but yeah John Paul knows how to get Craig to do things, and it works, as we've just witnessed.

"They're perfect for each other," Rich says and I nod, because, they really are perfect for each other.

**That's that for this week, thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed. **


	39. Chapter 39

**John Paul**

It's fun to watch Craig whine about not wanting to go through all this school stuff, he just pulls the most adorable faces ever, and that pout of his, it's so fucking sexy. But I figure I have to tell him to do this, I don't want to come across as bossy or anything, but I know how big a deal Trinity is for him and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he did badly, because I'd know it'd be because I distracted him, and I don't want that, I want him to do as well as he's always been doing here, I've seen his grades and they're impressive, I just want him to maintain them.

After we got up to the room, I sat him down at the desk and told him to get started, he pouted, but to no avail, and eventually he did get his school bag and pulled out a couple of books. I grabbed my laptop and got the password for the wireless from Craig, before settling myself on the bed, checking out some music releases and just browsing the web.

I'd look at him every now and then, to see if he was actually studying and thankfully he was yeah. This time when I look, he turns his head, then just pouts, making me chuckle, he just looks so sexy and cute when he's pouting. Placing the laptop on the bed, I get up and walk over to him. Sitting down on his lap, I cup his face and kiss him gently, tenderly and the pout instantly disappears.

"You done sweetheart?" I wonder and see how he bites his lip, then nods… "You sure?" Another nod. "Craig?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes as he looks at me, "I know all of it John Paul, I don't have to restudy it, it's in here," he points to his head, "I got it all done, so that I would have a good couple of days with you, without having to worry about all of this for when I came back here."

"It can't hurt for you to study it a bit more," I tell him, making him sigh and roll his eyes again.

"Well I don't want to, I want to spend my time with you." He shrugs, and then gets me to get up, before heading over to the bed. He sits down then looks over at me. "I know the school stuff John Paul."

Walking over to him, I grip his hand as I sit down next to him and sigh. "I just… I don't want to be the one who distracts you from your school work…" I look into his eyes, "I mean… You've shown me your grades Craig, and they're impressive," he smiles proudly and nods for me to continue, "It's just… I don't want to be the one who causes your grades to slip, I just want you to be properly focused on your school work… I'd just… I'd really hate it if you did badly and then your mum would blame me and… you know she hates me as it is… and…"

"Shut up," I stop and frown, "Just shut up, and come here," he opens up his arms, wrapping them around me as I lean into the hug he's offering me. He holds me like that for a while, just kissing the top of my head and rocking us slowly back and forth. "No matter what happens, John Paul, it will be my fault if my grades slip… Which they won't." he continues before I can even open my mouth, "Just don't worry about it, I've got things sorted, I know when I have to study and when I don't. If you feel really strongly about it, I'll put in an extra hour, reading and rereading some of the textbooks, but I know it all, I've done the work I'm supposed to do. I haven't gotten the grades I've got by just looking good…" he smirks as I look at him, before continuing, "I've put in the work too, hours of studying, hours of making papers, hours of mock business building and trying to make it succeed so that I had something to write about… I've got it all covered, and when I tell you I just want to spend the time with you, then it's because I know I can."

"I just don't want you to do badly because I distract you," I say quietly as I pull at a string on his shirt, "I mean, it's easy to get too invested in a relationship and then sort of forget everything else around you, your school and such."

He frowns for a moment, "I made that mistake with Darlene you know," he tells me and I nod, "But, I know you're not using me, and I'm not using you. I know you want me to succeed and be the best that I can possibly be, and I want exactly the same for you." He sighs as he runs his fingers through my hair, "I've learned from my mistakes with Darlene, and I also know you'll always keep me focused…" I nod, "Just, when I tell you I've done the work, then I have.. You know better than anyone when I lie, well I can't lie to you, and I won't… It's just school stuff, I get it out of the way as the first thing now, don't leave it till last minute… If I am unsure about something, I'll look it up, learn what it's all about…. You just have to trust me when I say I've done it all, okay?"

"If you're sure… then yeah…" I sigh, I really only have his best interest at heart, and I think he knows this, but it's still doesn't stop me worrying about distracting him and him doing badly in school.

"Don't stress about things JP, we're both intelligent, we both know when to study and when to party. I know you are looking out for me, and I love you for it, but believe me, you'd know it if I didn't know the stuff I am supposed to know." He shakes his head, "Now, you said something about a reward if I studied?"

I bite my lip and nod, "But you haven't done all the work…" I say with a lifted eyebrow, making him chuckle and shrug.

"I have done it once… Just didn't bother doing all of it twice… Still counts…" he says quickly, "Now come on, reward me." He winks and then flashes me his smile and yeah I'm going to reward him alright.

Reaching behind him I get my laptop and after having placed it on the desk I return to our bed, crawling up on it, then I wait for him to join me. He does a moment later and lays beside me as I gently stroke my hand through his hair while looking into his eyes. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" I ask, before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "So beautiful," I sigh as I push down on his shoulders and roll on top of him, "And all mine," he chuckles for a moment, and then I kiss him again, softly, gently, tenderly at first. Small soft pecks on his lips, on his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, which makes him giggle, but I don't stop. I move my attention to that enticing mole on his upper lip, it just adds to his sexiness, I lick it, then blow on it before gently nibbling on it, making him shudder.

Cupping his face, I tilt his head back a little, before pressing my lips to his again, this time I do use my tongue, and with a little pressure applied to his lips, he parts them, allowing me entry into his mouth. He'd been in charge earlier on today, but now I am in charge and we'll take it slow too, I want to make him so hot and bothered, make him feel as good as he made me feel.

As I taste the insides of his mouth I begin to slowly rub myself against him, and it doesn't take long before I feel him growing hard, he wraps his arms around my back, pulling me down on top of him as I deepen the kiss. Our tongues duel inside his mouth, and he tries to get in control, tries to push up into my mouth, but I break the kiss then, looking into his eyes I see him trying to pull off his innocent look, but the way his face is flushed, the state his cock is in at the moment and the way his lips are swollen and are glistening, there's no way he can pull it off.

Shaking my head lightly, I buck my hips, making our cocks brush against each other, causing him to groan out loud and as he does I kiss him again, instantly letting my tongue venture inside of his mouth again, and making it rather clear that we are staying there, until I let him push us into my mouth.

I know him, I know he likes to be in charge, but with me, well he'll just have to learn that I like to be in charge too, sometimes. I pull back from the kiss, to nibble on his bottom lip, smiling as he whimpers and then groans as I gently suck it in, before resuming our kiss.

The taste of Craig Dean, now that's something else, he just, I don't know how to describe it, but he tastes like all the sweets in world, like all the delicious foods you just love, if there is a heaven then he tastes just like heaven. I break the kiss and look him in the eyes, I see past the lust and can just see all his love for me radiating from those chocolate pools, god he's so fucking sexy.

I buck my hips, rubbing our denim clad cocks against each other, eliciting a loud hiss from him, I do it again, and again and again, until he grips my arse tightly, pushing me down as he thrusts his hips up. He's keen, I'll tell you that, he knows what he wants, hell I know what he wants, but I'm in charge, so I sit up, to his displeasure and smile reassuringly.

I have him spread his legs and position myself between them, 'accidentally' brushing my hand over his very prominent bulge, to his appreciative groan, I slide my hands slowly but surely upwards, until I reach the hem of his t-shirt. Slowly, I begin to push it up, as I lean over his body, exposing first his stomach and then his beautiful chest. When his t-shirt is up under his chin, I let my hands run over his body, just rubbing away at all of it, because I can.

He's watching me intently, and he has that wicked glint in his eyes, like he knows what I'm going to do, but yeah he can know, I don't care, I'm going to enjoy being able to do this whenever I bloody feel like it. No more of the being apart nonsense. I press a kiss to the middle of his chest, smiling as the little bit of chest hair that's growing out, tickles my lips, god he's going to look even hotter with his chest hair grown out.

I pepper his chest and stomach with soft wet kisses, then lick my way from his bellybutton to his nipples, taking them into my mouth in turn, licking them, sucking on them, then pulling away and blowing on them, making them grow harder and harder, until two stiff peaks are peaking out from his chest, he groans as I nibble, bite and then pinch both his nipples with my mouth, teeth and fingers. I look up and the expression on his face is just pure lust, his eyes are dark, his mouth is slightly open, his tongue keeps sweeping out to lick his lips, he's watching me and he's waiting.

I bite a little harder on the nipple in my mouth making him groan, then let it drop from my mouth as I kiss my way down to his bellybutton, where I delve my tongue inside to his appreciative moans, but this isn't where he wants my tongue to be, and I think I've teased him enough now. Sitting back up I shuffle about for a moment, then use my hand to rearrange my own cock, that's as hard as a fucking rock, Craig groans out loud as I do this, and I look at him as I finish doing what I'm doing, and that look of pure want in his eyes, well fuck me hard, I nearly came. My entire body shudders in delight at that look in his eyes, he wants me, me, John Paul McQueen, he wants me.

As I finish making myself comfortable, I place my hands on his thighs, and slowly, and I do mean slowly, I rub them up and down, slowly making my way up to his groin. As I reach it, he groans out loud, and as I rub at his hard cock through the denim he moans, he wants me, he needs me, and he's going to get what he wants. I move my hands up and unbutton his jeans, then unzip the zip. I dip my head and kiss his stomach again, then slowly lick and kiss my way down to his jeans.

His breath hitches and I look up to see him watching me intently, I smile as I pull back and delve my hand inside of his jeans, gripping his cock through the soft cotton of his boxers.

We both jump as his phone goes off ringing on his bedside drawer, he scrambles for it, and rejects the call, dropping the phone on the bed, he bites his lip and I continue what I am doing, when the phone goes off again, he groans and I sigh, then watch him as he picks it up and rejects the call again, before dropping it on the bed once more, he barely manages to settle again when his phone goes off again and he just looks annoyed, I'm annoyed too, but this time I reach for the phone.

"It could be something urgent," I shrug, then look to see who is calling, but there's no number on the screen, "I'll just… if you don't mind," I hold out his phone with my hand, while I continue to caress his cock with the other. He shakes his head and then moans as I give the head of his cock a little squeeze through the fabric of his boxers.

Accepting the call I hold the phone to my ear, and before I even manage to say a word the person on the other end speaks, and quite honestly my mood drops instantly, as I withdraw my hand from the insides of Craig's jeans and sit up straight.

"Craig, just listen to me, and don't say a word." I bite my lip as she continues and this next bit just literally boils my blood, "I was talking to Frankie, that's how I got your number, and she seems to think that if I get on a plane right now, come out to you, then you can forget all this nonsense about John Paul and get back to being with me." I look over at Craig and undoubtedly my anger is showing, he sits up and is about to say something, when I hold out my finger to him. "Craig, I still love you, and… I know things were a bit messed up between us, but with you away from John Paul, I really think we could make it work… What do you say?"

I grip the phone tightly and grind my teeth, the bloody cheek, he's rejected her so many times, and still she thinks she can have him, that he'd even look at her twice. That Frankie really is an evil bitch, and I don't care if she is Craig's mother, who the hell does she think she is.

"Craig?" God her voice even annoys me, fuck off you desperate tart.

"Actually no, this is John Paul," I tell her, "Now, all that sounds so nice and cozy, just one problem really." I shake my head, **"HE DOESN'T WANT YOU**," I bark down the phone, "I think, he made it perfectly clear to you, that he has no interest in you, that he loves me, hell he picked me over you not once, but twice, and he'll always pick me over you and any other brainless tart like you." I breathe in deeply, "Two times he's rejected you, and believe me, he'll never want to go back to you, because unlike you, I know how to keep him satisfied, I know how to pay attention to his needs, instead of being selfish and going around town flirting with every and any man I see."

"You and Frankie can both forget it, I live here now, we're living together and there's no way either one of you can break us apart." I look over at Craig as he looks at me while listening to what I'm saying. "I know Craig won't speak to you again, because he promised me that, so good bye Sarah, don't let the revolving door of your bedroom smack you in the face when the next customer… er sorry, bloke leaves." I end the call with that and turn off the phone before getting off the bed.

"Bloody cheek, the nerve of that tart… You know what she said.." I shake my head and look over at Craig, "and your mother… Oh if she wasn't your mother Craig.. I swear… I'd…" I just pace the room still gripping his phone tightly.

He gets off the bed and walks over to me, stopping me and then hugging me tightly. "What exactly did she say?" He asks calmly as he holds me and lets me calm down, I try to calm down, I really do, but I'm just so angry that I'm shaking, "John Paul," he pulls back and cups my face, "Take a couple of deep breaths and tell me." I nod and do as he says, it doesn't help on my anger, but I do stop shaking as I begin to tell him what Sarah had just said.

"My mom said that to her?" Craig shakes his head not believing what I've just said, and it is really farfetched I can see that, but that's what Sarah had said, "Well I don't want her, I want you, only you… Always." He presses a kiss to my cheek, "Always John Paul, don't start thinking differently, okay?"

"I know Craig, I know, and I won't…" I say because I know he wants me, I know this, but it still makes me so fucking angry that Frankie doesn't get it, that that tart Sarah doesn't get it.

"I'll deal with mum, okay?" he hugs me again, "Don't let that nonsense get you worked up."

We stay like that for a while afterwards, him holding me tightly, rubbing his hand up and down my back as I let him calm me down. He's probably the only one who can calm me down this quick, usually when I go off on one, I go off and it's really difficult to get to me, but Craig can, he always could.

There's a knock on the door a little while later, Rae, asking if we'd like to come down and watch a movie with them, after checking with me, Craig tells her we'd be down in a little bit, for them to just start the movie without us. It's at this point I realize I'm still clutching Craig's phone tightly in my hand. I give it to him as I shake my head and go sit down on our bed.

He stands there looking at the phone for a bit then joins me on the bed, "As soon as I finish school tomorrow, I'm going to go get a new number," he waves his phone around, "You, Debbie and the guys here in Dublin will be the only ones to know it, I'd give it to Steph, but mum would end up getting it somehow and I don't want that." He sighs, "If they need anything, they'd be able to get in touch with you and you can tell me, or they can ask Debbie to get a hold of me." shaking his head he kisses my cheek, "Debbie knows how to stand up to mum, just have to tell her and yeah." Shrugging he smiles sadly, before gripping my hand and giving it a little squeeze.

It's funny, but I always thought that given some time, Frankie would come around, and maybe she will, but this stunt she tried to pull, as if I don't matter, my feelings don't matter. I got her son, and though I'll always support him in no matter what he does, if he flat out tells me he won't ever speak to her I'd still want him to speak to her. She'll always be his mother, regardless of her behavior towards me, and yeah maybe she'll come round and apologize and all that, but if she doesn't, I don't want there to be any animosity between the two of them. I know he's picked me, I know she kicked us out the other day, I know he said good bye to her in that final sounding way, but I also know that he'll need her at some point in his life and yeah he should be in touch with her, should at least have that option. He doesn't have to talk to her every day, or week, or even month, but just to have that contact with her, yeah I'll make sure he doesn't do something stupid.

Craig gets up and does up his pants, yeah that bitch with her phone call totally ruined our fun time, he smiles and shrugs as he seems me looking at his crotch, then holds out his hand for me, "Come on, there's a movie to watch, and a chair to snuggle on downstairs," he lifts his eyebrows suggestively, making me let out a chuckle and nod, as I grip his hand, letting him pull me up. He gives my hand a squeeze and flashes his beautiful smile before walking us out of the room.

**As always, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. **


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey there, sorry for this delay, I simply haven't been able to sign into the part of the site where I upload this story for a good while.**

**But here it is, next chapter.**

**Craig**

He's so tense, I can feel it as I press a kiss to his neck, and pull him closer to me. We're sat in the chair, him with his back to me, more or less on my lap, me with my hands around him, holding him around the waist while he rests his head on my shoulder. It's probably not the best position to be in normally, but it feels comfortable for both of us.

He turns his head for a moment, presses a kiss to my cheek and then with a smile, that doesn't really reach his eyes, he turns his attention back to the movie we're all watching. I still don't really get it, it seems so unreal that he is here, that he's actually here with me, living here with me, us a proper couple. I sigh happily and press a soft kiss to his cheek, he smiles and gives my hand a little squeeze

When we came down earlier it was rather clear that he was in a bad mood, at least to me and I think Rae saw it too, she'd looked at us and I could see she was worried, but I just smiled and shook my head, this was private for now, and maybe we'd share it with her later on. He did seem to relax a bit as we settled down and began to watch the movie but he was and is still really tense, like he's trying to tell himself to stop thinking about what he'd heard from Sarah.

Sarah, I mean, you'd think she'd get it by now, you'd think after I rejected her twice last year, after I more or less ignored her all the time, except up at the bar at the Loft, when in Hollyoaks just the other day, and hell even then after JP had his small episode I totally blanked her, didn't look nor say a word to her afterwards. Even the next day at the halls, well frankly if she hadn't gotten the picture then, then really I suppose she isn't all too clever. I mean we were practically shagging in front of her.

Well no I do know she isn't all too clever, in the time we were together, she did study, but she never did it properly, she always got distracted by her life really, the modeling, the drinking, sometimes me, our mates all that. Everything came before her school work, and she got the grades to match that too, so yeah she's not all that clever if she actually believes I want anything to do with her.

Had JP not looked so angry when he was telling her off, I'd have laughed over some of the things he told her, especially the revolving door bit, god that was hilarious. I mean I know she never cheated on me, cause well I was the one doing the cheating, but now that I think about it, she does come off as a bit of a cheap tart. I really don't think things would've worked out between us, had I stayed with her, had I brought her to Dublin with me. She had her interest and I had mine, the only thing we had in common were our mates and well each other, and to be perfectly honest I was never really that close with Nancy or Hannah, I had John Paul and I suppose in a way so did she. Yeah John Paul was what we had in common.

He hasn't really told me everything about last year yet, but judging from that outburst he had earlier, I think he has some issues with Sarah, maybe she's said something to him, I don't know, but he'll tell me when he's ready. I think there are loads of things we have yet to cover, I know we're alright, I know there are no hard feelings left, but I also know there are things about what people said to him, after I left, that I haven't been told about yet.

I do know that my mum was nice to him until a certain point, but after that he again doesn't say much, I think he doesn't want to say something insulting or something, because he knows she's my mother and really that's something we do stay clear off, I don't say anything about his family and he doesn't say anything about mine. I think though it's okay to indicate that we are pissed off at some relative of each other's and then maybe talk about it, to find out what said relative has done. Hmm yeah, I'll have to talk to him about that.

My mother though, I really can't believe her, I can't believe she still thinks she can control my life, filling Sarah with that rubbish. As if she knows what's best for me. Well she thinks Sarah is it, and she isn't, so clearly she doesn't know anything about what's best for me. Honestly I don't think I will be speaking to her for a long time, her reaction last week was one thing, this is something totally different. Last week I can maybe forgive, in the future, but this, this is just beyond ridiculous, this is just too low, even for her.

For one it's really insulting to John Paul, secondly it's just meddling in my life, and thirdly, quite honestly Sarah has been through enough thanks to me, us, she really didn't need that bit of hope again, especially since it would never have happened anyways. I'm not against the way John Paul spoke to her, really I'm not, but I do think he took out some of the anger for my mother out on Sarah. Oh well, I do hope she moves on and finds someone who'll make her as happy as John Paul has made me.

But yes, my mother, she has to be dealt with, and I know just the person to deal with her, because I am in no mood to speak to her, and if I unleash JP on her, well I think that'd do more damage than good, and besides I doubt he'd say anything really. I press a kiss to his cheek and then whisper in his ear, "Just gonna go to the bathroom," he looks at me and I smile as I am actually going to the bathroom, then he shuffles about, letting me get up, before repositioning himself in the chair. I kiss him softly on the lips then head out of the room, smiling as I see Joe and Kate engaging in a little bit of lip action, and Rich having Rae resting her head on his shoulder, those two would make a good looking couple, too bad he's got that girl on the go, what's her name… Paula I think.

**Craig**

Exiting the bathroom, I head upstairs to our room and pick up my phone from the bed. Turning it on, I quickly go through my contacts and then press call. The phone rings a couple of times before the happy voice of my sister bellows through as she answers.

"Craig!" she exclaims, "What a pleasant surprise, how are you doing?"

"Hi Debs," I smile as I say this, but something in my voice must have revealed I was in a bit of a mood.

"What's wrong?"

"It's…" I sigh, "Ehm… Well it's mum really." I begin, "She's not really accepting this, me being with John Paul, us being in a relationship…" I shake my head, "I mean, I flat out told her the other week that I love him, want to be with him." I bite my lip.

"Go on."

"Well, today… You see John Paul's living here now, with me, and earlier there was a phone call, from Sarah, and John Paul picked it up…" I sigh again, "I wish he hadn't, cause I think it really hurt him, but Sarah told him, thinking she was speaking to me, that mum had told her she thought there was still a chance for her and me, that if she came here, while I was separated from John Paul, then we'd just get back together like before and…"

"You can't be serious." Debbie exclaims, clearly shocked at this.

"I wish I wasn't Debs, I really do, but… I just… I can't deal with her, I mean what more do I have to do to show her I want to be with John Paul, that I love him, and he loves me and that we're together and that nothing, and no one will ever break us apart." I shake my head, "The sad thing is, I really think she made Sarah believe it was possible… Which is rather amazing, as I've rejected that girl so many times now," Shaking my head I carry on, "First thing tomorrow, after I've been to school, I'm getting a new number, and you'll be the only one from the family to have it, cause I know you won't give it to mum, she can't bully you into it." I sigh, "Can you… I dunno, can you try and talk to mum, just try and make her see some sense?"

"I can try Craig, but you know how she gets."

"Yeah I know, and honestly if she's stubborn then don't bother, I can do without her in my life, I've got you and Steph, and John Paul and his lot too, so I have what I need in terms of family and all."

"But in the end, she's still our mum, eh?"

"Yeah… Though I'd pick John Paul over her, and anyone else, in a heartbeat, he means the world to me, he's my special someone and I won't ever be without him in my life, I can't be without him in my life, I mean he is my life."

"Awww, my baby brother, all grown up and mature." I chuckle as she lets out a giggle, "Don't worry about things Craig, I'll see if I can reason with mum, you just enjoy your life and your relationship."

"Thanks Debs," I smile, "I really appreciate this, I'd do it myself, but I think I'd end up making things worse and well to be honest I'm in no mood to talk to her now or anytime soon. I mean it's my life, she did the controlling thing with Jake, and see where that got him. Being here, being away from her and Jake, just showed me that there's more to life than being afraid to live it, being afraid to love someone just because he's the same gender as you. I needed to get away from them to be able to realize that it was okay for me to love John Paul that I shouldn't be ashamed of it, shouldn't hide it away, it's wonderful and beautiful and so is he and I really love him."

"I know you do." She tells me, "Craig, you've nothing to be ashamed of, nothing at all, and had I been there, I'd have told you last year that it's okay to be gay… Or whatever it is you are," she chuckles and I laugh, "But no seriously, there's nothing wrong in you loving John Paul, nothing at all, and you'll always have me and Steph to back you guys up, always."

"Thanks Debs," I smile now, I know I have her and Steph, and I really don't need anything else. "Are you doing okay?"

"Anytime Craig. Yeah perfect in fact, really busy these days, work and all."

"Debbie Dean, star of the West End?"

"I'm getting there."

"I'm dead proud of you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah I know Craig, and thanks."

"So okay, I'll send you a text from the new number tomorrow, yeah?"

"Of course and I'll call mum sometime during the week, just have to have a bit of time for that conversation, I suppose, and then I'll let you know how it went."

"Okay… and again, thanks Debs, I really appreciate it."

"There's no need to thank me Craig, it's your life, she just has to learn to let go and let you live it the way you want, with the person you want."

"My John Paul," I smile.

"Yeah, your John Paul." She tells me and I sigh happily.

"Okay, right, I think I should get back down, he'll be wondering where I am now, I told him I was going to the bathroom, and that was before I called you."

"Okay, well run along then, and send me your number tomorrow."

"I will, bye Debs, and thanks, love you."

"Love you too, Craig." She tells me and moments later she ends the call. Smiling, I turn off my phone and drop it on the bed, then get up and leave the room.

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. **


	41. Chapter 41

**To anyone who is still interested in this, thank you for your patience, this will be finished, I haven't abandoned it. **

**I actually managed to complete this, wrote the ending and all, then tried to save it on an external harddrive and somehow managed to delete everything instead of saving it, don't ask me how, as I've yet to figure it out myself. Basically I lost the last 30+ pages and had to start all over from a point that took me forever to get past the first time around, so I'm still struggling with that now, but I think I have a way of getting past it now. I hope. **

**In the meantime I've started another fic, which is almost done too, so yay to that, as it will be posted too, and yeah for now, just bear with me on this fic, I'll try to update frequently. **

**John Paul**

I wonder what's taking him so long, I hope he isn't ill. I look at my watch and see it's now been 20 minutes since he left, I'm going to give it five more minutes then I'll head up to try and see why he hasn't come back down again.

I don't even know if he sensed I was still in a bit of a mood over all the nonsense from Sarah and Frankie, I think he did, at least he was a bit more caring than usual when we came down here and joined the others. Not, that he isn't caring all the time but it just felt like he was doing a little bit extra so that I wasn't too upset.

I really don't know why I let all that get to me, I mean, I know he wants me, he loves me, I'm sat in our home in Dublin, so that really should tell me that he only wants me, but to hear that tart say she still wants him, still wants my Craig, it just brings back all those feelings from last year, and then knowing that Frankie told her she had a chance with Craig if only she came out here, while he was away from me.

I just.. I never knew Frankie hated me that much, and in a way was so blind that she couldn't see that her son was happy, happy when he was with me. Even last year, she made it so difficult for him, and it took my mother of all people, to talk some sense into her, and for a bit it did seem like she was okay with us. But of course once I left Craig and came back, once he didn't come back for Christmas, I knew she blamed me, the looks of distaste she'd shoot me were indicative if anything, but this, to actually use Sarah like that, to actually still believe that he wants to be with a girl, when he clearly told her he wants me, he did last year, he's told me that, and then also last week when we went over to see her.

I, as much as I hate the way she's being to him, to us, I just don't want him to do something stupid, like telling her off, cause in the end, she'll always be his mum, she'll always love him, deep down, she'll always love him, and I know he'll regret it later on, if he ends up telling her something really hurtful, because he feels like he has to put her in her place, show her that he loves me. I do think he should have a word with her, but like a calm conversation, no shouting, no frustration, just a conversation where he sets her straight. I shake my head as that thought runs through my head, this is Frankie, she hears and sees what she wants, not what is right in front of her, not facts, just what she thinks is right.

Sighing I shake my head, then see Craig come back into the room, I instantly look at him, and keep looking as he comes over to me, he indicates for me to move a bit, and I do, letting him slip in to the same position we were in before he left, me with my back pressed against his chest as I am sat in his lap, with his hands around my waist. I rest my head back on his shoulder and smile as he presses a kiss to my neck. This is wonderful, just being able to do this, it's still unbelievable to me, that he isn't bothered at all, that he'll just hold me and kiss me and love me and not check if anyone is looking.

Turning my head, I whisper in his ear, "Are you okay? You were gone for a long time."

He smiles and kisses my nose before whispering back, "Perfectly fine, just called Debbie, asked her to talk to mum," he shrugs then gives me a little squeeze, "She said she'd call her so yeah, suppose that's dealt with." He smiles, rubs my hand with his thumb, then turns his attention back to the movie.

For the remainder of the movie he doesn't say anything else, and I settle back, actually relaxing a bit as he holds me, and just enjoy that we can do this now. The movie was okay, bit boring for my personal taste, but other than that, nothing wrong with it. But what I enjoyed the most was just being able to watch it with Craig, and all the others, just feeling like I'm a part of the household, like I've lived here with them for ages.

As the movie ends, Joe and Kate leave us to go for a walk together, Rich has some assignment he needs to finish and Rae has to go call her mum, but she'd be back later, she tells us, before leaving us behind in the living room.

"So," I turn my head to see him with his eyebrows raised high as he looks expectantly at me, and I frown, "Wanna, you know…" he smirks cheekily and bites his lips as he looks into my eyes and I chuckle as I understand what it is he wants.

"God, you're insatiable," I shake my head, and snuggle closer to him, making it clear that I'm not moving anywhere, not now at least. I press a kiss to his neck and smile as he groans his displeasure. "I just, I like doing this." I sigh happily as I look up at him and after a moment he shuffles a bit, has me turn slightly, then pulls me down on top of him as he cups my face and presses a feather light kiss to my lips.

"This is good too," he nods and smiles.

"Yeah, really good," I rest my head back down on his shoulder and for a while we just lay like that, not saying anything. I glance over at the clock and see it's only 8pm, we've got loads of time till the end of this day, but just being with him, staying with him like this, in this armchair, well it's wonderful, and I could do it for the rest of the night.

Craig strokes his fingers through my hair, making me sigh happily, this makes me think back to the first time he said he loved me, despite everything he put me through afterwards, I always thought back to that day, to us laying in my bed together, his head resting on my chest and him just ignoring Sarah's call. Me being more important to him than she was, I think I clung on to that for a while, even after he panicked and took her to Zante. I forgave him for that, and for so much else, because I think I knew deep down, I was the one he wanted.

That engagement well that was a big mess, so much happened there, but he was mine, finally he was all mine. Not that we got to enjoy it for that long. But all that is in the past, all that is done and dusted, we're here now, despite it all, despite everything, his love for me and my love for him never faltered. It makes me think of that line in Friends, where Ross and Rachel broke up and he slept with someone else "we were on a break." She never saw it as such. But with Craig and me, well it's true, we were on a break, a break where we needed to find ourselves, find out what we really truly wanted. And look at us now, eh?

"You think Debbie will be able to talk some sense into Frankie?" I ask as I run my hand up and down his arm.

"Hmm, maybe.." he sighs, "She's been away for a long time, built her own life, you know, doesn't need mum as much and well she's just independent and sticks up for me, sort of like Steph, but mum just ignores Steph most of the time, with Debbie it's different cause they don't see each other that much, so she'd listen, and maybe she'd be able to get through to her." Rubbing his thumb over my cheek he continues, "I don't really have high hopes for it, but if anyone can, it'll be Debs."

I nod thoughtfully, "Well I hope she does get through to her, she's your mum, she should be happy for you, not try and control you."

"Yeah I know, but honestly I don't even care anymore, she can think what she wants, say what she wants. I'm happy with you, I know you are who I am supposed to be with John Paul. What my mum thinks, says, or does, however hurtful it might be to us, or others, it's just irrelevant." He shrugs and I look up and into his eyes. He's really changed, really not bothered about Frankie and what she thinks, I knew this already, seen it with my own eyes, but to just hear it now it's just incredible. Mind you, I do want him to have a good relationship with his mother, but it's good to see that he doesn't need her approval anymore.

"Well I hope she does come round, I think it's important to have your mother in your life, and if she can be happy for you, despite not even liking me, then that's fine too." I shrug, cause well I doubt she'd ever be happy he ended up with me, but if she can just be happy with how he lives his life, his sexuality and just him being him, then I'd be happy too.

"No it isn't, it's not fine if she doesn't like you," he smiles as he brushes his hand through my hair, "How can she expect I'd even talk to her, if she wasn't nice and friendly towards you? I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, have a family with you, how exactly can I be fine with her not approving of my life partner?"

Wow, I really can't believe he's saying all this, him, Craig Dean, the guy who couldn't even kiss me in public, and now he's talking about being with me for the rest of his life, having a family with me, building a life with me. God, he's really come far, really far in the months we've been apart.

I am touched, I really am, I smile and look up at him, "I love you so much Craig," he smiles as I continue, "Look, I know Frankie is having a hard time with accepting this, and if Debbie can talk some sense into her, then that's good, but if she can't…" I pause for a moment and he nods for me to continue, "Sweetheart, if Frankie is still as stubborn about us being together after Debbie speaks to her, then just give her time, don't… Just don't shut her out or anything," I see him opening his mouth so I carry on speaking, "Look I know you are happy with me, and you know it, but she hasn't seen it, she just thinks I'm bad news and I corrupted you somehow." I shrug as he shakes his head, "Just give her time sweetheart, she'll come round… I mean you're her baby, and yes she's stubborn and all, but she won't want to lose you. Just… I suppose, let her see that we're staying together this time round, yeah?"

I look directly into his eyes and see him process all that I've said, he looks into my eyes for a long time, as if asking me if I am sure about this, and I am, she might not like me, and to be honest I don't really like her that much at the moment, but she'll always be his mum, and she should be in his life, but he, well we, we should let her come to terms with this in her own time.

"I suppose," he shrugs, "If you're okay with that, I mean, I know her, it could take ages and she wouldn't be nice to you."

"I don't care, I'm with you, and nothing she says or does will make me leave you, so all the time she needs she can have it."

"I'm not going to leave you either," he says firmly, proudly, before kissing me lovingly on the lips.

**Rae**

I almost laugh as I enter the living room again. The sight that meets me is just so sweet, yet so funny, because it looks so damn uncomfortable, the way John Paul is half twisted around while kissing Craig. But I don't, I just enter the room quietly and watch them for a bit, it's just so good to see them like this, to see Craig be like this.

I know from my talks to both of them, that he really had big problems with even touching John Paul last year, all the things he'd been told by his mother and brother always being more important to him than John Paul, but here, in Dublin, it's as if he just started living, at least according to John Paul. He'd seen a big change in Craig, he'd told me that on his last visit, and I couldn't be happier for both of them.

There was something wrong with John Paul earlier though, he was quite obviously upset, but Craig had just smiled and shook his head and I knew to just leave it, he'd or both of them would come to me if they needed my advice with anything. He did seem to have cheered up as the movie we were all watching ended, so maybe it was just nothing.

I clear my throat, and that has them parting from each other, they both look my way, and I almost laugh as I see the blush that appears on John Paul's face, but Craig, well he just looks, well almost proud that someone has been in the room while he's been kissing his boyfriend.

"Are you two comfortable, in that position," I ask as I look at them, and it's as if they both only notice now that that particular position just looks painful. I watch Craig slip out of the chair and then pull John Paul up with him, before they both join me over on the sofa, John Paul sitting next to me while Craig sits right behind him. It's almost the same position they were sat in, while watching the movie and surely enough, Craig soon has his hands wrapped around John Paul's middle, while his chin rests on John Paul's shoulder.

"I'm comfortable in whichever position, as long as he's in the same position too," John Paul says with a grin, as he turns his head and presses a kiss to Craig's nose.

Oh god, it's just too sweet, I smile and watch them have yet another moment of bliss. It's as if everyone else just fades away once they connect, even if it's just for a couple of seconds. But even if it's only a couple of seconds, they make the most of them. I wish I'd find someone who'd make me feel as loved as they make each other feel.

"How's your mum?" Craig asks and I shake my head as I tell them about the conversation I've just had with my mother. She'd been on and on about me coming back home after my exams, but I'd decided that I was staying put here this summer, I like it here, and I've got some mates who're staying too, so we'd have loads of time to just be us, go out and have a laugh. I'm not that keen on going back to the farm I come from to have early mornings and all that. No thanks, I'm staying where I am.

"So yeah, I'm staying here, while you two go away, and while Joe and Kate go back to visit each other's families."

"What about Rich?" John Paul wonders and I shrug.

"Don't know, he might stay with Paula, they might have made some plans for the summer." I really had no clue, I'd have to ask him later.

"Oh right," John Paul nods then smiles, "Well we'll all have to make the most of this month before the vacation and the enjoy the summer as much as we can, before it all starts up again in September, eh?"

Both Craig and I nod, it has been a rather difficult year, first leaving home, coming here and knowing no one, literally starting from scratch and yeah I made some good friends here, Craig and John Paul included, but boy do I need a break, and do I need it soon. Just to relax and be able to sleep and not worry about this or that assignment, or that exam. In little over a month from now, I'd have finished my first year at Trinity. It's weird to think about really, in the beginning it just seemed so scary, so overwhelming, but now, well it's just perfect really. Despite all the stress, all the hard work, despite all of that, coming here meeting all these new people, and starting at Trinity, yeah best decision I've ever made.

"It'll be great," Craig says as he pulls John Paul closer to him, "just relaxing with you in Italy, just being young and carefree, just being together really," he sighs happily, "I can't wait." Pressing a kiss to John Paul's cheek he smiles as John Paul nods and then he too smiles.

**Thanks for reading. **


	42. Chapter 42

**Good news, got my mojo back and I'm almost done rewriting the ending of this fic... Though there are loads of chapters to go. **

**Craig**

"I think I'm going to try and find a job tomorrow," John Paul says as we take a stroll around the neighborhood we live in. I frown and look at him.

"Why? You already have a job."

Chuckling he nudges me with his shoulder and shakes his head, "I meant something for this month, I can't be sat at home just doing nothing, I'd go mad." He smiles as we walk on and I process this information.

"Well, I… I suppose that's a good idea," I agree, "But make sure it's not ridiculous hours, I want to be able to see you at night, be able to cuddle and all." I tell him, and that makes him smile widely as he stops and presses a kiss to my lips.

"Oh it won't be anything heavy, just something for some extra cash you know." He nods, then carries on walking, me falling into step with him moments later.

"Okay… And I'll ask around about schools and such for you tomorrow, yeah?" he looks at me then nods and smiles. "Good, they'd know at Trinity which schools are good and such."

"It's fine sweetheart, whichever will do really." He shrugs, "Anything here is a step up from HCC, won't you say?" I chuckle and nod, yeah suppose he is right. "Besides, I don't mind starting all over again, but I just want to do things in my own time, so maybe the distance learning thing is better, that way I can have a couple of days where I focus mainly on school and school work and then the rest of the time will be for you and for work."

"If you want that, then sure JP," I tell him, it's his decision really, all I want is for him to have that degree at the end of the day, just so that he does have something to fall back on sometime in the future. "You know I only want you to have the degree so that you have something to fall back on,"

"I know Craig," he smiles and grips my hand giving it a squeeze before letting it go. "So when are you back tomorrow?"

"Oh it's a long day tomorrow I'm afraid, from morning to evening." I sigh and shake my head, "School until 2 and then study group until 7." He looks at me and nods, "It's just we've got this project and we have to sort it out before handing it in, we've all done our parts so now we have to put it together and make it fluent and all that."

"Yeah I understand, well suppose you all should do that, then all of you read it through and you know do your own corrections here and there, then do one final edit together before handing it in." he says helpfully and I smile, he does think about me and my school, I know this already, hell I think he'll be a total slave driver this next month, really being after me, making sure I've got my school work done, that I am ready for my exams and such, and honestly I love him for it, I love that he cares enough to do that.

"Yeah, well it's me and Mark," he frowns as I mention Mark, "You know the guys we met at the pub." He thinks about this for a bit then nods.

"Oh, eh the bloke who's from London?"

I smile and brush a kiss to his cheek, "Yeah him, we're in the study group together and then two others from the course too." He nods as I continue, "I think we're sort of the group leaders, so yeah we'll be doing exactly what you said. It's a big deal this project, counts for about 40% of the final grade, so we have to nail it."

"I'm sure you will." John Paul says instantly, "I know you, I know that once you've set your mind to something, you'll get it done, and it will be amazing." He smiles warmly and it just warms my heart that he has so much belief in me, I have my moments where I doubt myself, I do, but I think with him here, he'll always give me that extra boost that I need to really do well in school, because in the end, my degree, everything I do, it's for us, it's for our future, and I can't fuck that up, I won't.

"Yeah, I hope so," I say as we get back to the house, "Mark is as ambitious as I am, and the other guys are great too, and I know we all get good grades, but we're four totally different people, so the making it fluent bit will be a bit of a challenge I think, but we'll see tomorrow and then probably have a couple of extra study groups to get it perfect before having to hand it in."

"When do you have to hand it in?"

"End of the month, and then that'll be the last exam we have, sometime mid June I think." I say as John Paul opens the door and lets us in.

"Oh okay, well I'm sure it'll be just fine, and you'll all do great."

"I hope so," I say as he closes the door behind us. He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eyes.

"I know so," he smiles that beautiful smile of his and kisses me on the lips, "You'll do really great, probably get the best grade out of the entire group too."

His belief in me really is incredible and it just makes me smile, as much as I do take my school seriously, I think having someone there, someone who loves me and cares for me, having him there to support me, I think that'll really make me believe in myself even more.

"Thanks JP."

"Anytime sweetheart," he tells me as he heads to the kitchen, and a moment later he returns with two bottles of water, "Wanna go up and just relax a bit before going to bed?" he wonders and I nod. We head upstairs and a moment later we're up in our room, led on the bed, making out.

**Rich**

"So, you're trying to get over Craig and now will focus all your attention on Paula and your school work?" Rae looks at me with that questioning expression all over her face making me chuckle. I'd thought she'd want to talk to me today, and I was right, she'd come to my room a little while ago and asked me what had changed since they last time she'd seen me a couple of days ago.

I'd just told her everything, how I'd gotten in today and had heard Craig and John Paul and how I just know I can never compete with that, and I do love Paula, and I don't want to lose Craig as a mate, which I did feel like I was starting to do.

"Yeah," I shrug, "Look, it does still hurt a bit, but I have to move on, and I am really happy for him, he's the happiest I've ever seen him, and this is just today, the first day they are living together properly. Imagine them in a couple of months time, they'll be closer than ever and, you know, I know I can't compete, I know he won't even look at me twice, so what's the point in clinging to something that isn't even there?" I sigh, "I'll get over this sometime soon, and in the meantime I've got my girlfriend, who I've really not taken good care of lately, as my head has been all over the place." I smile now, "But now though, I know she's my main focus, and I'll make sure to treat her properly, show her that she's the one for me."

Rae looks at me for a moment, really looks at me, like into my eyes and then smiles. "I think she'd like that, a lot in fact," I smile, "You're a good guy Rich, and well we can't really help who we fall for, but at least you're not the type who breaks down because of something like this." I nod slightly, "You can see that you won't get anywhere with Craig and you're able to let go of that and get on with your life, focus on your relationship."

"Yeah, and I mean they're both great blokes, and I'd hate for there to be some awkward tension, because of me." I shrug, "I talked to both of them, and they both seem fine with my decision, so yeah." I think about it, and just as I am about to speak we hear Craig and John Paul come up the stairs and walk by as they head up to their room, Craig laughing at something John Paul says, before telling him, he's going to get it now, and then we can hear them run up the final flight of stairs.

"Those two," Rae shakes her head with a smile on her lips and I chuckle because really, they are sweet and it is so good to see Craig be happy, hear him be happy.

"It's good for him that John Paul is here, good that they have each other," I look at Rae, "He's much happier now, you guys have seen that, and so have I, it just took me a bit to come to terms with things, but I see now that those two are made for each other." I close the book I was reading when Rae came into my room, and place it on the desk, "I think Paula is the one for me, you know the one true love, like what those two have." Rae bites her lip for a second then smiles and nods as she gets up and walks over to the door.

"I hope so," she says as she opens the door, "But even if she isn't, then that special someone is there, somewhere and she, or he," she raises her eyebrow making me chuckle, "whichever, he or she, will be waiting for you to come and sweep them of their feet."

"I do hope Paula is the one," I tell Rae and she nods again.

We hear some gentle moaning coming from the boys room upstairs and looking at each other we both chuckle and shake our heads. "Good night Rich," Rae says as she leaves my room.

"Good night, Rae," I call out after her, as I head over to the door and close it.

Undressing, I find my iPod and climb into bed, turning the music on, I grab my phone, type out a quick message to my girlfriend, and then turn off the lights as I settle down for the night.

**John Paul**

He sighs happily as he snuggles closer to me pressing a kiss to my chest. We'd just made love a little bit earlier and are now just holding each other. It's time to sleep though, as Craig has school tomorrow, and from the sounds of it a rather important study group where they'll be putting together this project they've worked on.

I stroke my hand through his hair, making him smile and look at me, which has me kissing his nose and pulling him closer to me. He lets out a sigh and wraps his arm around my hip, letting his fingers play with my lower back.

"I like that we both do both things now," he says quietly, almost shyly as he looks at me, "I think… maybe last year I wasn't really ready to do the other bit too, not that much anyways, but now…"

"Now you're fine with it, cause you know it's nothing to be ashamed of?"

"Yeah, I think so… I dunno, it just felt wrong to do it before, but now, I just want to do it all the time, I want to make you feel so good, make you make those sounds, just make you feel loved."

"Well it's good, and you do, every single time we make love, and you make love to me, you do make me feel so good, so loved." I tell him as I kiss his forehead. He'd for some reason almost always had me make love to him last year, I never asked, but I think, he thought it didn't make him gay, if he was the one who was receiving. We did switch up a few times, but I could tell it wasn't for him, he wasn't in it, into it, he'd do his best for my sake, but never did he give me an orgasm like the one he'd given me earlier today.

But now, well now there's nothing stopping him, and he doesn't stop, once he gets in control, he stays in control and he makes me come like an expert. Yeah our break definitely did us both a lot of good, we both grew loads and both know who we are now, both know what we want and we're both not afraid to go after it. Well I have it now, and he has me, so we have what we want, now we just have to enjoy it, cherish it, and build our future together.

"I love you," he says, sweetly, lovingly, as he brushes his finger over my lips, making me smile as I dip my head and press a soft kiss onto his lips.

"I love you too, sweetheart." He smiles and closes his eyes for a moment, and I just study his face, just really look at it, I know it by heart already, but he's just so beautiful and it doesn't hurt to look, does it now?

"I'm tired," he says in a sleepy voice, and no wonder really, we got in really late last night, were up rather early today and hadn't really rested that much.

"Yeah, me too," I tell him, as he opens his eyes and looks at me, "What time do you have to get up?"

"I think 6:30 will do," he reaches for his phone and sets his alarm, as do I with mine. "You don't have to get up with me JP," he sees me replace my phone and I just shake my head.

"I won't get up, I'll just see you off and then head back to bed," I kiss his nose, "Cause I won't see you for all of the day otherwise." He sighs and nods, accepting this, as I turn off the lights and pull the duvet up around us. He pulls me closer to him, and rests his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes. We just lay there for a bit, listening to each other, me pressing soft kisses to his hair once in a while.

"It's been a good day this, our first day of living together and all."

"Mhm, it's been wonderful," he agrees, "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too, sweetheart."

He doesn't say anything else just grips me tighter around the hip, and lets out a sigh as he settles for the night. We lay like that for a while afterwards, neither one of us falling asleep, but neither one of us having the need to say anything, we're together and it's perfect and we're just enjoying it.

Craig is on the verge of nodding off when a door is slammed shut downstairs, making us both jump slightly. Before either one of us can say anything we hear voices.

"What the hell do you mean, you didn't do anything wrong," Kate shouts, as she stomps up the stairs.

"I didn't, and will you calm down, people are probably sleeping by now." Joe tells her and instantly I shake my head, he didn't just tell a woman who is angry, to calm down.

"Calm down? Calm down? You were practically undressing that girl with your eyes."

"I was not!"

"You bloody were, your tongue was halfway out of your mouth."

Craig chuckles and shakes his head as I press a kiss to his hair, "Oh, there's no way he's winning this one." He says quietly and he's right, Kate has a point, I think. At least I know, if you are with someone, you don't go staring at someone else.

"No it wasn't, I'm with you aren't I? I love you, don't I? So what's the harm in me looking and appreciating another woman? It's not like I jumped in the sack with her." God that was stupid to say and a moment later we hear the slap, it's crystal clear and I think we both wince as we hear it, then a door is slammed.

"Kate," he knocks on the door, but she ignores him, "Please Kate, you know I love you… Don't be like that."

"He really should shut up; he's just making it worse for himself." Craig says quietly and indeed he is right.

"Good night," Kate says loudly and clearly, and then slams the door once again.

"But…" Joe goes quiet for a bit and I know we shouldn't but we both lay there waiting to hear what stupid thing he says next. "You know what," Joe suddenly shouts, "I should give the gay thing a go. I should go out there, find myself a boyfriend and then at the very least, I'd know that I won't get any angry outbursts thrown my way once a month, like I do with you." We hear him stomp down the stairs as he mutters about bloody women and bloody relationships, and that us gays have it so much easier.

"You can't say this house is boring," Craig says with a laugh, making me chuckle, and no it isn't boring, not boring at all.

"They haven't been like this when I've visited."

"No, but then he hasn't been looking at some girl then, which seems to be the issue here."

"Well he can give the gay thing a go, if he wants, as long as he stays away from you."

"Oi, I'm yours and yours alone." Craig tells me lovingly, "And besides, having one of my male housemates have a crush on me is more than enough, thank you very much…" he pauses for a moment, "If anything, then he'd probably go after you, as you're the gay one." He chuckles and then whimpers as I pinch him, "Ouch."

"I'm only yours, so if he fancies being gay, he can go hook up with Rich." I tell Craig as I rub my hand over the area I pinched, and press a kiss to his lips, "But enough of this, you've got an early start tomorrow, and now that the night time entertainment has ended, I think we should sleep."

"Hmmpf, you're right," Craig grumps, "But kiss first," he continues, making me smile as I seek out his lips again, and press a warm kiss onto them. "Night, JP, love you."

"Night, sweetheart, love you too."

This time we don't say anything and after a couple of minutes I hear Craig's breathing change and the tight grip he had around my hip loosens, he lets out a sigh and then he's fallen asleep. I pull him closer to me and finally close my eyes, allowing myself to rest.


	43. Chapter 43

**Just a little filler chapter, didn't exactly know where to insert it and didn't want to leave it out either for some reason. **

**Craig**

"John Paul?" I call out the second I get in.

"Up here," he calls back, and I practically run up the stairs, to our room. I find him sat on the bed, typing away on his computer. "Hi," smiling I drop down next to him, and press a hungry kiss to his lips.

"Hey," he licks his lips as I pull back and grins widely, "What's that for?"

"I've missed you, is all," I shrug, and see his smile grow wider at the same time as his cheeks flush.

"I've missed you too,"

I kiss his cheek then get up and place my bag on the chair, take off my jacket and hang it up, then retake my seat next to him and look at what he's doing on the computer for a moment. "So," he looks at me, "What've you done today?" I'd text him as I was heading to the library for the study group, and he'd replied that he was in town and that he was looking forward to see me when I got home.

"Oh," he closes down the lid of his laptop, "Nothing much really, just went into town, had a snoop around some stores, you know got to know the city a bit." He shrugs, "Then got home, and heard part two of Joe and Kate's argument." He chuckles and I raise my eyebrows, as I look questioningly at him. "Seems it wasn't the first time she'd caught him openly staring at another girl, but this was the only time she'd said anything." Shaking his head he continues, "I got in, and was halfway up the stairs when they began, sort of got caught up here for the duration of it." Shrugging he gets up and takes his laptop over to the desk, "She left, shouting something or other about staying with her friend and I think he left too, a while later."

I shake my head and smile, "They'll sort it out, don't you think?"

"Probably,"

"Come here," I hold out my hand and as he grips it, I pull him down onto my lap, just because I can and because I want to kiss him, which I do. It's just a small kiss really, and it's wonderful. "It's weird having you here," I tell him after a while, making him look questioningly at me, "The good weird, it's… I've wanted this for so long, and now it's real and you're here and it's wonderful, but also totally surreal and weird." I sigh as I run my hand up and down his back, making him smile and nod his head.

"Suppose it is a bit weird yeah," he says as he looks into my eyes, "I was half expecting one of my sisters to burst through the doors wanting to borrow something," he chuckles and shakes his head, "But no, I actually got to sleep in for a change, it's wonderful, this living on your own business." He presses a kiss to my nose then gets up and gets a bag from the closet. "I bought a couple of things for the room," he says as he retakes his seat on my lap, "Hope you don't mind," looking at me, he waits for my reaction, and I simply shake my head.

"It's your room too," is my simple reply, which has him smiling.

He takes out some things from the bag and shows me, some picture frames, which he says are for the pictures of us we'll be taking sooner or later. He also has some posters which he shows me, beaming when he rolls out the Razorlight one, making me smile and kiss him. I'd never really thought of him as the person who'd buy all sorts of knickknacks, but looking through some of these things, I guess he is.

I suppose having Myra as a mother, such things rub off on you, but it's sweet really, and I can tell he's trying to make this room feel more like home, and suppose now that he is here, it is more of a home, so why not make it feel like one.

He gets up and walks around the room for a bit, and by walk around I mean, goes to the door and then back to the bed, while he looks around. I watch him as he eyes up the wall where the desk is, then he looks at the wall where the bed is, while biting his lip and then he shrugs and walks over to the window. He takes out some figurine from the bag and places it on the windowsill, moving it a bit to the right, then a bit to the left, then right back to the original spot, and a bit to the left before nodding and stepping back.

"How does it look?" he wonders as he looks at me, frowning when I tilt my head and look over at the windowsill.

"I think you should move it a tad bit to the right…" I tell him as I look at him, he makes a move and halts as I continue, "then a bit to the left… then right again… then have it right in the exact same spot, and then.." he lifts his eyebrow, looking unimpressed as I giggle and carry on, "then a little tad to the left again, and then… then it'll be just perfect…" I let out a laugh as he glares at me.

"Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not," I say through my giggles, which just has him squint his eyes and really give me a dirty look, which in turn has me laughing. "John Paul," I say, as I manage to compose myself slightly and go over to where he's stood, leaning back on the desk, "I love that you are so into all of this decorating our home stuff, but I've never really been interested in such things." I shrug, as I place my hands on his shoulders, "to me it doesn't matter if that thing is on the windowsill, on the desk or on top of the bloody closet, all that matters is that you feel at home here, that you like it here, and I think you do, otherwise you'd not have bought all this stuff for our home, eh?" he continues to glare, but I can see his lips twitching. "Tell you what, how about you just do whatever you feel like in here for say an hour, while I go get us some food, eh?"

I leave him standing there and head for the door, "So…" I stop and turn to look at him, "You don't like it then?" he asks with a teasing glint in his eyes, making me shake my head, and go over to him again.

"I love it you idiot," I tell him as I wrap my arms around him and pull him to me, "I'll love no matter what you do to this room John Paul," I press a kiss to his lips, "I just love having you here, everything else is irrelevant, I've not really noticed that the walls are bare, or that I don't have frames and knickknacks here and there, I was too busy thinking about you, longing for you…"

"I'm here now," he tells me with a smile that just melts my heart.

"Yes you are, and you can redecorate this entire room, if you feel like it, I'll be happy as long as you're in it. You're what makes this a home." He looks at me then presses a kiss to my lips, a slow, tender and beautiful kiss, while at the same time holding me tightly in his arms. We stay like that for a while, just sharing soft kisses and hold each other, it's perfect, and it's us and we can do this now.

Pulling his head back slightly he cups my face with his hands and gently brushes his thumbs over my cheeks, "I love you, sweetheart," he says sincerely, as he looks into my eyes, and I can see it, I can feel it, I know it. I know he loves me, and it's just incredible.

"I love you too," I tell him with a smile, as I run my hands up and down his back, "Always and forever, JP." I kiss him on the forehead and step back, letting go of him, as I head for the door, "I'll just go get us some food, anything in particular you'd fancy?"

He bites his lip and looks at me, "I fancy you," he says with a grin, making me blush and then shake my head, "But… food eh?" I nod, "Surprise me." He tells me, then picks up the bag with the stuff he bought and goes back to placing things around the room, making it more like our home.

"I'll always surprise you," I say, making him turn and look at me with a smile on his lips, as I head off to get us some food.

**John Paul**

"Oh," he says as he gets out of bed and gets his bag, "I nearly forgot," he pulls something out of the bag, then gets back in under the covers to show me. "I got you this, and put 20euros on it too." He smiles as I look at the item in my hand.

"Thanks"

"I was in the store getting a new number for myself and figured you'd need one too, unless you're keen on paying huge bills and keeping your UK number." I shake my head as I reach for my phone, and a moment later I've got the new SIM-card inserted, I quickly have everything set up the way I like it and smile as I press a kiss to Craig's lips.

"So, what's your new number then?" I wonder and he grabs his phone, and after having inserted his own new SIM-card he sends me a text. I save that number instantly, and when my phone informs me that I already have a contact with that name, seeing as I had all my contacts saved on my phone, apparently, I choose to overwrite it and then I have Craig's new number stored. I send him a reply and then he too has my number on his phone.

"I'll send it to Debbie tomorrow it's a bit late now." Craig looks at the clock then nods, as he places his phone back on his bedside drawer and lies down properly. I join him a moment later, pulling him closer to me with my hand, before letting it rest across his hip.

"What do you want to do tomorrow then?" I ask, since he happily informed me earlier, during our dinner, that he'd not have to go into school before Monday.

"Well, I have to do a bit of school work," he says with a smile, since he knows I'd have told him to do school work, if he'd said anything other than that. "You know the project stuff," I nod, "And then, I dunno, suppose we can do whatever." He shrugs, "As long as it's with you then I'm happy."

I kiss him on the nose and tighten my grip on his hip, "How about we decide after you've done your school work?" I suggest and after thinking about it for a moment he nods, "I can help you too, if you want."

"That'd be lovely, JP." He smiles warmly as he runs his hand through my hair, making me sigh contentedly.

"Good, then that's what we'll do, and then we'll just take it from there." He nods his agreement and then shuffles closer to me, pressing a kiss to my chest.

"Let's sleep now," he tells me tiredly, and I turn off the lights, before holding him tightly in the dark room, just feeling relaxed and secure in a way, I've never felt it before.

I'd decorated our room earlier, as he'd gone out to get us some food, and it just made it feel more like home, I mean, it is home, because home is where Craig is, but this, just adding something personal to it, just made it feel like home even more.

"I really like what you did in here today," Craig says sleepily, making me smile and shake my head. It's as if he can read my mind, it's rather scary sometimes, but also just a bond that we share, always have, always will.

"I'm glad you do sweetheart. It just feels a bit more like home now." I tell him as he murmurs tiredly and moments later his breathing changes and I know he's fallen asleep. I hold him for a while longer, just thinking about how truly happy I've been ever since I came here to talk to my best mate and found that he still loved me, still wanted me. I don't think he knows how much he means to me, how much I love him, but I'm going to show him, every single day, for the rest of my life, I'm going to show him just how much he means to me.

**Next chapters will take us back to Hollyoaks for Steph's wedding and naturally someone will be hit by a car driven by Niall. **

**Thanks for reading :)**


	44. Chapter 44

**We're back in Hollyoaks now.**

**Craig**

God that Steph, what a drama queen, I love her to bits, don't get me wrong, but what the hell. First she's engaged, then they've broken up, and then the other night she calls JP up and tells him the wedding is back on, and that we're invited if we can make it. My last exam was literally yesterday and today is my birthday, but I don't get to celebrate it the way I want. I want to spend it alone with JP, just like we did with his birthday last month, but no, we're here and it's all about Steph.

Though okay, we'd spent loads of time on our own this past month. This living together, sharing a life thing, is just amazing. It had taken us about a week to get used to each other's routines and all that, but afterwards we'd just fallen into a perfect rhythm, into a perfect relationship.

John Paul had unfortunately failed to get a job for the month, which he'd wanted, but it didn't matter, and he'd not stayed home doing nothing anyways, he'd been out exploring the city, getting to know our home, and had found some places that sold some rare music at some rather affordable prices too, so he wasn't that bothered.

But exploring the city was not the only thing he'd been up to, he'd been my study partner at home, the one I ran things through with, the one who kept me going when I felt like the exams might just break me down. He'd always know when to stop me, distract me, take me out for a walk, or anything really. He just knew when I had to have a break. After that first day, I'd feared he'd be some slave driver, making me study all the time, but no, once he'd seen my routine, seen how I dedicate myself to my school work he'd not said a word about it again.

He knew though when I needed to unwind, so he'd do that for me, and it worked, because after a walk, or anything really, I'd feel like I could take on the world, and would manage to study for another couple of hours, before closing the books for that day, feeling satisfied that I'd done a good job.

We'd also managed to get JP into a Uni, from the upcoming September term, he'd do distance learning for his English Lit, and Media degree. But he had the option of going in to school whenever he wanted to talk to some of the professors, which he didn't think he'd need, but it was good to know that the option was there.

It had been a good month for us personally, we'd become stronger than ever before, and I feel like I know John Paul even better now. We'd shared things about our past with each other, things that we'd not known about each other. It's funny, but in all the time we knew each other, we just knew each other from that moment on, never anything major from the past, well except that both our dads are scum. But now, we'd shared things, like he'd told me about the first time he'd really felt like he was gay, when he'd been 14, and I'd told him about a family vacation when I was 10 and had gotten separated from my family, how scared I'd been, and how Jake used to tease me about it, because it had given me nightmares for a long time after we got back home.

John Paul, had just hugged me, pressed a kiss to my forehead and smiled sympathetically as I told him, and then he'd told me, he'd said to me, "I'll never tease you when you're scared, sweetheart." And that had been it, and yeah I know I just turned 20 today, but things do scare me, thinking about finishing at Trinity, getting a job, a proper job, and having a proper home with John Paul, things like that scare me. Not the being with John Paul part mind you, no that part is what keeps me going, but the having responsibilities, having to be on my own two feet, being an adult, it does scare me sometimes.

But whenever I start to worry about that, John Paul will be there, he'll hug me, or kiss me, or lay me down and give me a scalp massage and then things don't seem all that scary anymore. He just has this ability to calm me down, and he does, he just makes me feel secure, he gives me confidence when I have no belief in my own abilities, he gives me strength.

I know he's spoken to Rae, and I know she's told him about everything I've been up to in Dublin, before he came back to me, before we became an us again, and I've told him everything too. We'd decided that there'd be no more secrets between us, if something is bothering one or both of us, we'd talk about it, and we'd found that doing this made it so that we didn't have any fights, we'd just been happy. Of course we'd get annoyed with each other over various things, we are blokes after all, but we'd never have fights, because we always manage to give each other the space that we need when we're annoyed.

It's funny, because we both have tempers, but somehow, we've managed to keep them in check, keep ourselves from saying something hurtful to each other when we've been in a mood and had just unleashed it onto each other. We'd not gone the Joe and Kate route, which just had ended badly.

That initial fight they'd had that night, it had escalated, with Kate moving out, and after a while she'd dumped Joe. He'd had a string of one night stands afterwards, and then, unfortunately, he'd decided Dublin wasn't the place for him to be, so he'd left. We'd all been out and then came back one day to find a note from him, he'd written that he was sorry, but he'd decided to go back home, and had dropped out of Trinity, he didn't want us to get in touch with him, but would get in touch when and if he was ready, but for now he was just fed up with everything and wanted to be with his family.

We'd all been surprised, and had found that his room was empty, that he'd somehow managed to move his things out, without any of us noticing. We'd been in a bit of a dilemma when he left, we needed a new house mate, someone else to chip in with the rent. Luckily my mate Mark was looking for a new place to live, something about the old house he lived in having been sold, and them all been told they'd have to find a new place to live. He'd quickly gotten approved by all the others, and had moved in a week ago, and it was working out fine really.

It was perfect because Mark and I could just easily talk about our project and just study well into the night sometimes, especially the couple of nights before the exam yesterday, we'd really put our heads together then, and studied till the early hours. We'd studied so much that we both, practically knew the entire project by heart. It paid off too, we'd gotten the highest grades of our entire class, which was rather amazing, and we'd celebrated the end of the year last night too, with JP and Rae. Though I'd been so exhausted I'd crawled into bed early, and then been woken up this morning by JP, we'd had about 2 hours to get to the airport, and while I got dressed, I noticed he'd packed our bags, had our tickets and passports all ready for us. He'd really just taken care of all that, not wanting to disturb me from my studies, and I love him even more, for being so considerate.

But yeah it had been a rather eventful month, all in all, but a wonderful month too, a perfect one in fact, I mean I am living with the person I love, and nothing can ever ruin that for me. But I am in a bit of a mood today, as it is my birthday and all, and I'd not gotten anything from JP, not a good morning kiss, not a gift, nothing. Well no, he'd wished me a happy birthday, but no gift. Though I think he's been rather stressed himself too, this past week, what with me being in the stress zone, worrying about my exam and then studying until really late, he's had to deal with all the going back to Hollyoaks stuff and that's stressful too.

I shake my head as we get out of the taxi, and head for the McQueen house. "Sweetheart, she's your sister, we'll just celebrate your birthday another day, just you and me, eh?" John Paul says as we ring the bell and wait for a reply, "I mean, Steph, your Steph is getting married, settling down, becoming a parent, that's huge… Honestly, do you think you can miss witnessing that?"

"Suppose not," I shrug, "But… why today of all days, I mean… it's my birthday.." I look at him, making him smile sympathetically as he cups my face and kisses me gently.

"I'll make it up to you later on," he says as he raises his eyebrows suggestively and runs one hand down my back, giving my arse a squeeze, before winking and smiling as he steps back. I don't get a chance to respond as the door is opened, and the next thing I know we're inside the house, surrounded by JP's family, all of them asking a million questions.

Somehow he manages to get us upstairs so that we can shower and get dressed for the wedding, and then we're on our way to the church. "How do I look?" JP wonders and I smile, he looks absolutely delicious in his suit, it's a look that he can pull off to perfection, but then I think he's hot in anything really.

"Perfect JP, you look perfect." He smiles bashfully and grips my hand as we approach the church. We get there just in time, a moment later the car with Steph, mum, Jack and Darren pulls up.

"Craig, John Paul," my sister happily exclaims as she gets out of the car, and hugs us both, "You made it," she's beaming with joy and I simply nod as I look at her, she looks beautiful, and she's glowing, literally glowing, I've never seen her like this before.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Steph," John Paul says and I give his hand a squeeze, while smiling and repeating what he said, because it's true, she does.

"Thanks," she smiles, "And happy birthday Craig," she tells me, then hugs me, "I know you'd rather be at home today, but thank you for coming," she whispers and as she pulls back, I look into her eyes and can see how much it means to her to have me here. Thinking about it, I do get it, Jake is locked up, Debbie couldn't make it, so I'm the only one of her siblings to be here.

"Anytime Steph," I kiss her on the cheek, "Now come on, we've got to marry you off..." I say with a chuckle and then grip JP's hand, "That Max, doesn't know what he's in for," I say with a teasing glint in my eyes, as I look back at Steph, making her stick out her tongue at me.

Steph walks past us arm interlocked with Jack, followed by us and then mum and Darren walk right behind us. We enter the church, and I feel JP shiver, then he just comes to a halt, I look at him, only to see him staring at something, following his gaze, I can see Kieron is stood some feet away chatting with Tony. "Come on," I say quietly as I give JP's hand a squeeze. He blinks, shakes his head, then looks at me and nods as we continue walking down the aisle.

I notice how Kieron looks at us, our joined hands and then at JP, as we approach, and I press a kiss to JP's cheek just then, making him look at me and smile that beautiful smile of his, the one that shows he's in love with me. I look at Kieron and can instantly tell he's not over JP, there's just something in his eyes, but I shake my head not wanting to waste any more time on Kieron.

We sit down in the front row and just wait, Steph and Jack are in a back room, and it seems we're all waiting for Max to arrive. "This will be beautiful," John Paul says excitedly, "Not like a McQueen marriage, which lasts all of 10 minutes before going down the drain," he shakes his head, "No, Steph and Max, that's real love, and they both deserve it too." He tells me as he smiles, making me smile too.

"I think, your marriage might just be the one that lasts an eternity," I say with a smile, making him look at me and then grin widely as he nods, "One day John Paul, I'll ask you one day." I tell him and the next thing I know he's kissing me.

"Do you mind, we're in the house of God," a cold voice says and breaking apart, we both look and see my mum stood there, with a look of distaste on her face, shooting daggers at John Paul. I shake my head and kiss him again, just to spite her. "This side is for family and friends only, you shouldn't be here." My mum says as she looks at John Paul, he simply looks at me and I shake my head.

"If this side is for family and friends only, then he's in the right place," I tell my mother calmly, "He is my family, and he was personally invited by Steph, you know, the girl who's getting married, the one who decides who is and who isn't welcome at her wedding."

"Craig, I don't mind…" John Paul begins, but I look at him, and silence him.

"Well, I do mind, you'll sit right here, and so will I," I say with a raised voice, silencing everyone in the church, "And if she doesn't like it, then she can go sit over there," I point over to the other side of the church, "You don't decide anything mum, so move along now."

My mother just glares at John Paul, then lifts her head in that snobbish, I'm better than you, way, that only she can pull off, and then sits herself on the same side as us, but not next to us, no she has Darren sit right next to me, and then she sits herself next to him. "You okay?" John Paul whispers in my ear, and I smile as I nod, I am okay, I'm more than okay, I'm with him.

We chit chat amicably with each other and with Darren for a couple of minutes and then Max arrives, followed by OB, taking their places at the front of the church, Kieron goes up there too, and then the music starts, all of us in the church get up on our feet and look down at the door, look as it opens and Jack and Steph appear.

She's a sight for sore eyes, my sister, simply beautiful and just glowing as she walks down the aisle with my stepfather. She's taking her time, walking slowly though, and I can tell she's really enjoying this, really loving this special day, then her eyes just shine that little bit extra and as I follow the direction of what she's looking at I can see the same shine in Max's eyes. He really loves her and it shows, he's beaming with pride and I can feel it, even though I am a fair bit away from him. He takes Steph hand, as she reaches the front of the church, and then all of us sit down, and wait for Kieron to begin.

**John Paul**

Steph just looks so beautiful as she's stood up there with Max, you can feel her joy, I think every single person inside this church can feel how happy she is at this very moment. It's been a lovely ceremony up until now, they've both exchanged their vows and basically, only the I do's are missing before they will be married.

Kieron asks each of them in turn if they wish to be married, forsaking all others, till the day they die, and just as Steph answers, I feel Craig give my hand a squeeze, looking at him, he silently mouths "I do," to me, it takes me all of two seconds to figure out what he's on about and then as Max answers, I too, silently mouth, "I do," and that's it really, we both get lost in our own little bubble, I can sense people applauding around us, but all I see, all I hear, is Craig, and I can tell that it's the same for him.

He cups my face, and leans in, placing a warm kiss on my lips, which just seals the, I do's we've just exchanged. We're brought back to the real world, by the music, and pulling apart, we both look over, just in time, and see Steph and Max begin to leave the church. "One day it'll be us, JP," Craig says as he gets up, making me smile and nod as he pulls me up.

"Just not in a church, eh?" I wink making him smile and shrug.

"Wherever really," he says, then kisses me again, just as Frankie walks past us, "I'll make sure not to invite her to our wedding," he says loud enough for Frankie to hear, she hesitates for a moment, then just carries on walking, till she's out of the church. "Come on then," Craig smiles as he gives my hand a squeeze and then walks us out of the church, with Darren and Jack right behind us.

A lot of pictures are taken outside of the church, mostly of the happy couple and their families, then some of the bride and her immediate family, and there's this awkward moment when the photographer asks Craig to stand next to Frankie, which Craig completely ignores, and goes to stand next to Steph, making it rather clear he doesn't want to have anything to do with Frankie. Oddly enough, I'm the one who gets the filthy look shot my way from Frankie, she's really annoying me, and she doesn't even realize that I'm trying to get him to get back on good terms with her.

I simply shake my head and smile as Craig smiles for the camera, and then presses a kiss to his sisters cheek after the picture has been taken. Steph whispers something in his ear, and I see him nod, before walking over to me, just as Max takes his place next to Steph. "Come on," Craig says as he grips my hand and pulls me with him, over to the happy couple, "Steph wants a picture of the four of us," he says before I manage to ask.

"You're part of the family too John Paul," Steph says as we line up for the photo, making me smile, which is perfect for the picture really, but it just makes me really happy to be accepted, to be seen as one of them, by one of Craig's relatives, even though I know Steph is on our side, always has been, and probably always will be too.

Craig has his hands around my middle, his head turned towards the camera, and he gives me a little squeeze just after the picture is taken, making me turn in his arms, and press a kiss to his lips. We don't say anything, we don't need to either. He grips my hand and walks us a bit away, leaving the happy couple to have their final official pictures taken, before we all head over to the Dog for the reception.

The reception is just wonderful, I know that it's all very last minute, since Max and Steph just got back together again the other week, but, well Tony has done the catering and everything is just perfect. "Hey," Craig, drops down next to me, handing me a bottle of beer, which I gladly accept. "We can probably go home as soon as they go off on their honeymoon," he nods his head over to Steph and Max.

"Suppose so," I smile, "It's nice though, and she seems to be really happy." I look over at Steph, just in time to see Max dip her and then kiss her lovingly, just as their dance comes to an end.

"I think, he's the first person she's really truly loved," Craig grips my hand, bringing it up to his lips, "It's good to see her like this," he continues as he rests his head on my shoulder, "She found the one she loves, just like I did." He looks up, just as I look at him and as our eyes lock, I find myself falling even more in love with him. I press a kiss to his lips, then smile as he lets out a happy sigh, and wrap my arm around his shoulder, holding him closer to me.

We stay like this for a while, just sitting together, watching all the other people having a good time, enjoying themselves and celebrating Steph and Max. I notice Frankie is stood watching Steph with a smile on her lips, and it's good to see that she can smile, she's always had this hard face on, but now, even if it's just for a moment, she seems to be truly happy, and it's good to see. "Your mum, looks happy." I say quietly as I look at Craig, making him look over in her direction.

"Yeah, well that's always something I suppose," Craig shrugs, I look over at Frankie and just at that moment as we're both looking at her, she looks over in our direction, the smile on her lips disappearing, being replaced with distaste and loathing. I hear Craig growl and the next thing I know is he's kissing me, hard and right on the lips. Pulling back slightly he grins, "Thought she should see that," he shrugs and then kisses me again, this time tenderly.

**Next chapter, not so happy ending for some people... **


	45. Chapter 45

**Who dies? Well read on and you will find out... **

**Craig **

"Why exactly are we doing this?" I wonder as we are stood outside the Drive'n'buy with Tom.

"Because Max and OB need help with Steph's gift," Tom says as he looks at me, then shakes his head as though I am the most daft person ever.

"I couldn't have put it any better, if I tried," John Paul tells Tom, then chuckles as I pout. He kisses me then looks at Tom, "Wanna get a snack?" he lifts his eyebrows questioningly and looks at the store as Tom nods, "Right, well come on then." He walks inside, followed by Tom and then a moment later I go in too, not wanting to be left stood alone outside the store like an idiot.

"Anything I want?" Tom asks excitedly, and John Paul nods.

"Well you know, within reason, and only things you are allowed to get," I inform Tom, and after thinking about it, he nods, and then goes on a hunt for a snack.

"So, uncle Craig," JP teases, "Already being responsible, eh?"

"Well, someone has to be," I retort, "If, I'd have let you, you'd have bought him anything and everything." I stick out my tongue and then wink making him smirk, moments before he playfully punches me.

"Can I get these?" we both look at Tom as he holds out a couple of chocolate bars and a bag of crisps. Looking at each other we both smile and then look at Tom.

"Of course you can," JP tells him, "You want anything else?" He asks as he takes the things Tom is holding out and places them on the counter. Tom looks around, then spots something and heads over to get it while I look at John Paul and shake my head.

"What?" my boyfriend looks at me with a smirk and I just nod my head over in Tom's direction, "Oh come on Craig, it's a day of celebration, let the kid have some junk…" I bite my lip as he continues, "You can get some junk too if you want, I'm paying." He chuckles and tilting my head for a moment as I think about it, I smile, press a kiss to his cheek and go over to pick up a snack for myself too.

Truth be told I'd gotten into a bad habit of eating junk and take away while living in Dublin, it was just easier to get that, than to actually cook. It was an issue JP brought up about a week after he moved permanently to be with me, he'd cooked us a meal and while we were eating it, he'd told me that he'd noticed how thin I'd gotten, and that he would make sure that I was eating some proper food from then on.

I'd not even noticed to be honest, I'd gotten so used to the junk, to just having something in my stomach really, that I'd not paid much attention to having lost some weight, I mean yeah some of my clothes were a bit too big on me, but I'd always had the ability of eating whatever and never putting on anything, suppose all the stress of last year and the move to Dublin just made me lose weight too, but JP took care of that, and honestly, I don't know what he puts in the food he cooks, but it's heavy and delicious and well fills me up rather good.

JP had just commented the other day that I now looked like the guy I was before I left, that my body was back to how it was back then. To me it looked exactly the same, but then he knows my body better than I do, or at least that's how it feels sometimes, and I'm just taking his word for it.

Other than my eating habits, nothing much had changed, well except me having let my body hair grow out for a while, because JP had wanted to see it, wanted to feel it. I hated it, really hated it, but I'd let it grow out for him, because he'd asked and I'd do anything for him. I don't really know what it was about it though, but it made him wilder in bed, it was like he was insatiable, we'd barely finish with one round of lovemaking before he was all over me again.

I think he was a bit disappointed when I got rid of it again, but he understood that I simply didn't like it, and he'd gotten a lot out of it, he told me that the mental image of my body with the hair, was a huge turn on in itself.

"Earth to Craig," I snap out of my thoughts as JP snaps his fingers in front of my face. Shaking my head I look sheepishly at him, "You were far away," he says as he takes the chocolate bar from my hands, "Everything okay?"

I smile and nod, "Everything's perfect," kissing his cheek, I continue, "I was just thinking about our life in Dublin." I tell him as he pays for mine and Tom's snacks.

"Oh," he smiles curiously as he looks into my eyes, then nods as he hands Tom the bag containing his snacks. He's about to say something when we hear this loud crashing sound, looking outside we see a car drive through Mobs, destroying the place completely, one of the poles somehow going through the front driver side window, as the car continues to run at a high speed. Both of us grab hold of Tom as he tries to go outside, and both of us stepping in front of him, to block his view, just as we hear a voice call out loudly.

"Kieron, watch out!" We hear the thump, we hear a woman scream in horror and then we hear the sound of the car crashing. There's silence for a bit, followed by panic-filled voices. OB comes running in, instantly calming down when he sees Tom is with us.

"What?" JP asks as OB looks outside and then at Tom.

"Niall," he begins, "We just heard the crash, saw his car go through Mobs…" he stops then as he looks over at Tom.

"Is Niall okay?" Tom asks, and OB just looks from him to us and instantly I know that Niall is not okay, and that we should get Tom away from here.

"You know what mate," I crouch down as I hold my chocolate bar in my hand, "How about we let OB go find out, while we go up to the flat and place some of these snacks in the fridge?" I smile as I wait for Tom to agree to this, and watch as his eyes flick over to OB for a moment, I look too and see OB smiling and nodding his head.

"Okay, but don't be too long OB, you and Max have to get Steph's gift over to her." Tom says making me smile.

"I won't, I'll just go see how Niall is doing and then we'll get the gift over to Steph," OB smiles and sends me a thankful look.

"Okay come on then," JP holds out his hand and Tom grips it as they walk out of the store, with me right behind them, blocking Tom's view of the accident as he turns his head to try and see what's happened. We head up the stairs and to the flat, getting in, with the key OB had given us.

"Steph tells me you're a champion on your Play Station," I say as I spot the devise on the floor.

"Oh god," JP moans and shakes his head.

"What?"

"Nothing nothing," he rolls his eyes and looks at Tom, "He might look all grown up, but he's a child at heart."

"Oi!"

"You know it's true," he tells me, then looks over at Tom, "That's his way of challenging you by the way," Tom smirks and walks over, turning on the TV, and then setting up the Play Station as we watch on.

**John Paul**

"He cheated!" Craig exclaims as Tom wins the 5th game in a row on the Play Station.

"I don't cheat." Tom replies innocently, "You're just not so good at this."

"Oi!" Craig looks offended at hearing this.

I look on as they bicker, chuckling to myself; I'm not even sure who the child is in this, as Craig is coming off really immature trying to pick a fight with Tom, and this over a game. Though he is really competitive, always has been, and always will be, and I love him for it.

Earlier when they accident had happened, he'd been really great about it, he'd dealt with Tom, getting us up here, and really just keeping Tom distracted, which is good. We've yet to hear from OB though, and it's been a couple of hours now, but the look on his face when he'd come into the store earlier had said it all. I'd looked across as we'd left the store and headed up for the flat, and it didn't look good, what I saw anyways, since Craig was sort of blocking the view, a fact that I should probably be thankful for. But from what I saw, and it wasn't much, as people had gathered round and were blocking the view, but from what I saw, it seemed Niall had run down Kieron, before crashing the car against a wall.

I suppose the reason OB hadn't come up yet, might have to do with giving a statement to the police, since him and Max had seen it happen, well most of it, and such things take time, as they should, and there's no rush anyways.

"Oh come on!" I snap out of my thoughts by the sounds of my boyfriends raised voice, and looking at him he pouts as he points to the game, "There is something wrong with this game, even when I'm about to beat him, he still wins."

"There's nothing wrong with the game, we just got it the other day," Tom adds, not helping much, and I can tell Craig is trying really hard to not say something that a child shouldn't hear.

"Tom," he looks at me as I speak, "How about you get yourself one of your snacks now, eh?" He nods, and gets up, heading over to the fridge to get one of the cans of cola he'd gotten earlier.

"You," I look at Craig, "You've got to let it go, and admit that he's just better than you at playing this particular game." Craig's face as I say this, he looks almost insulted, "He's not cheating Craig, I've been watching both of you for a while now, and he's not cheating, he's just good… better than you."

"But… John Paul…" Craig whines, but I shake my head, he's not getting me to say that Tom cheated, not when the boy had won fair and square. "Fine…" he grumbles and pouts, as he gets up off the floor and sits on the sofa. I sit next to him and press a kiss to his cheek, then wrap my arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to me.

"It's just a game Craig, you can't be good at everything in life," I say with a smile, "I mean, you're already a genius at school, one of the best employees at work, a great friend, a wonderful brother, a lovely son, and a beautiful and loving, and caring and incredibly sexy boyfriend."

Craig just looks, smug… yeah smug and proud, and then he smiles, that special smile that melts my heart each and every single time. "You're beautiful, and loving and caring and incredibly sexy too," he says after a bit, "I'm glad I have you in my life." He adds, making me smile.

Our little moment is broken as Tom comes back to where we're sat, "Where's OB?" he wonders, and we both look at each other not really sure what to tell him.

"Come here," Craig says, and pats the cushion next to him, once Tom has sat himself down Craig continues, "When a car accident happens," Craig begins, "Well the police come, and they have to talk to all the people who saw what happened." Craig looks at me, and I nod for him to continue, "I suppose, because OB and Max saw everything the police are talking to them, trying to figure out how and why the accident happened."

Tom nods as he takes this in, "I hope Niall is okay," he says and then drinks from his cola.

"Yeah, me too," I say with a sad smile on my lips, as I know he isn't okay, that one look from OB earlier had been enough to tell me and Craig that it was really bad.

"Can we play again?" Tom asks and looks at Craig.

"Yeah, in a little bit," I answer before Craig can, "I think Craig needs a moment to eat his snack, and get some more energy into him, before he takes you on again." I smirk as Craig glares at me, but I just shrug as I look into his eyes and a moment later he shakes his head then gets up to go get his chocolate bar.

Tom sets up the game and plays for himself as I join Craig in the kitchen, wrapping my arms around his middle, resting my chin on his shoulder as he eats his chocolate. We stay like that for a bit, I close my eyes and gently rock us from side to side, loving that I can be this close to Craig.

"You okay JP?" he asks after a while and then turns in my arms, as I easy my grip on his middle, he pecks me on the nose and looks into my eyes as I frown, "I mean about…" he nods towards the window.

"Oh…" I shrug, I'm not really sure what to feel about Kieron being hit by a car or about Niall being dead. "I don't know," I look at Craig, "I mean, it's weird to think that they both could be gone…" I sigh, "Niall's been a mate for a while now and you know about Kieron… Just because I don't have those feelings for him, it doesn't mean I don't like him, on that mate level of things… Though if he's, you know… gone, I'm more worried about how mum will deal with it, cause they've grown really close in the time he's been here."

Craig looks at me for a moment, tilting his head then nods, as he brings his hands up to cup my face, he kisses me, gently then rests his head against mine. "It's okay if you are upset about Kieron, I mean I know you two had some sort of history there," I close my eyes as he says this, and he kisses me again, "It's okay, I know I'm jealous and rather possessive when you are involved," I chuckle at that and he smirks as I look at him, "But, he was still a part of your life for a while, you were mates, so if you are upset, don't hide it away from me, because you think I might not like it." He hugs me as he continues, "I know you're mine, I know you love me, I'm not like I was last year."

"I know sweetheart," I smile as I breath in his scent, "I know, but it's just like I told you, I'm more worried about how mum will react than anything else." I shrug once more as he eats the last of his chocolate, making me chuckle when a small bit of it gets stuck in the corner of his mouth. I lean in, kissing him, and kissing away the chocolate.

He lets out a low growl as I nibble on the mole on his lip, making me pull back slightly and look at him, as he blushes and looks down. I bite my lip and look over to where Tom is sat, to see him busy trying to win the game he is playing, then I look at Craig again, smiling when I brush away his hair from his forehead "I love you," I say as I look into his eyes, making him smile and nod his head.

"I love you too," he returns before kissing me gently on the lips.

"Craig," we both look over at Tom, "Are you ready now?" the boy wonders as he looks over at the TV and then back at us.

"Yeah sure mate," Craig says, and then with a smirk he moves and heads back towards where Tom is, muttering under his breath that he'll show him how to play this game.

"Craig," I say sternly making him look at him, I just give him a look that tells him to behave and play nice.

"Alright alright," he says after a moment, then shakes his head as he retakes his seat next to Tom, they begin to play again and for a bit I just watch them, watch how Tom, seemingly without even trying gets a rather big lead over Craig, and I can tell Craig isn't pleased, I can tell that he doesn't want to lose again, but it's clear he will. I chuckle and shake my head as I see Craig nudge Tom with his shoulder, making Tom stop for a second to look at Craig, then me, and as I shrug he carries on playing. He's such a child sometimes, my boyfriend that is, can't lose gracefully, has to win always.

I walk over and sit down on the sofa all the while watching how Craig now tries to cheat whenever he can, by nudging Tom with his shoulder, or pointing to some place in the flat saying that Santa or the Easter bunny or something or other is there. Tom is a smart kid and he doesn't fall for it, well not after the first couple of times and I see that Craig has a chance to catch up now, it's not big, but knowing him, knowing how he loves a challenge, he'll go for it.

I chuckle as I remember one day in Dublin where all of us from the house, plus some of the guys from Trinity had gone out to the park, they all needed a break from their revisions so we'd gone to the park, the girls had sat and talked, having a picnic of sorts, while all us guys had had a game of footy. Don't ask me why, but somehow Craig and I had ended up on opposite teams, and I know he's a rather good player, incredible really, but he'd been the only one on his team who was any good, while my team had all the good players, and we'd gotten a rather comfortable lead over his team, with me scoring the final goal.

All the others had taken the defeat lightly, it was just a friendly game and they'd joined the girls getting some drinks and food. Craig on the other hand, had just stood there with the ball and glared at me. I could tell he was pissed at losing the match, cause he hates to lose, but there was something else there and as I walked over to him, he'd just turned his back on me and begun to walk in the opposite direction, I'd stood there for a moment wondering what had happened, but then just followed him.

It took me a bit to get it out of him, and by a bit I mean 15minutes of him pouting and glaring and refusing to say anything to me. I'd tried my best to get him to say things, promised him various sexual rewards if he'd say anything, but he'd been a stubborn little angel and in the end I'd just given up, just sat down next to him and stared off into the distance.

"You made me look like a fool," he'd finally said, making me turn and look at him, with a frown. How on earth had I made him look like a fool, I'd wondered, making him snort and turn away from me, leaving me even more confused that I already was. So I asked again, gaining myself another glare from him, before he sighed and shook his head.

Turns out, I was to blame for his team losing, since I knew how good he was, I'd apparently told everyone on my team how to play against him, how to take him out of the game, and then when I'd scored the last goal, I'd apparently celebrated too long, and been all too joyful about it, making him look pathetic.

I'd nearly laughed when he said that, nearly but I didn't because I could tell he was really upset about it. I told him then, told him that I hadn't done anything wrong, hadn't said anything to the guys and that it had just been unfortunate for him that he'd been on the team that lost. He'd just grunted at that making me roll my eyes as I once again told him I'd done nothing wrong, that it was just a game and that he shouldn't take things personally as no one thinks any less of him because he lost.

"Look at the guys sweetheart," I'd said as I pointed over to where all our friends were, "None of them are bothered," I'd pointed out to him, and none of them were, looking over we could see them laughing and having a good time, some of them laying down and sunbathing, while others played cards and were having a good time. "Now, I for one am done with this, we are meant to be having some fun, and you should be unwinding from all that revising, but instead you're sat here with such a face on." I'd shook my head then, and had left him sat there, walking back to the others.

Rae had asked me what was wrong, but I'd just smiled and said everything was okay, we'd just needed some alone time. Which was true, I suppose. In anyways, Craig had joined the rest of us some thirty minutes later. The thing about all these guys was that they knew about Craig's mood swings if he lost at a game, so no one had been surprised when he'd walked off, me in tow. No one even commented when he came back and dropped down next to me, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I'd given him a look and a small smile, as he'd leant closer to me and whispered that he was sorry in my ear, and looking at him I could see it in his eyes that he meant it.

He just doesn't like to lose, since he has some notion that he has to be a winner, he thinks that if he loses in front of me then I won't love him anymore, which is a load of rubbish, and I've told him numerous times, but it just won't go through to him for some reason.

"Yes, almost there," I am snapped out of my thoughts by Craig's voice and looking over I see he's almost caught up to Tom now, only a few points separating them and then… then he nudges the poor boy so that Tom drops the game controller from his hands and Craig wins the game. "Yes!" he exclaims joyfully, as he jumps to his feet and looks at me, grinning from ear to ear.

"You cheated." Tom says as he looks up at this supposedly grown man, but Craig is past acting mature, hell he's been nothing but immature the last thirty minutes, so he simply sticks out his tongue at Tom and then walks over to me, this proud expression all over his face.

"Did you see me?"

I shake my head, disapprovingly as I look at him, making him frown, "Craig, you just cheated against a child." He just gives me his what the fuck are you on about face, and shrugs, making me sigh and just look over at Tom.

"I'm sorry mate, with this one," I point at Craig, "You just can't be better than him, or he'll do anything to show you that he's the best."

"But he cheated." Tom says as he looks from me to Craig and I nod my agreement.

"I know he did, but that…"

"Oi! I didn't cheat." Craig exclaims and looking at him, I see him pulling off his hurt expression, nearly making me laugh.

"Sweetheart, you did, so don't even start on that." I point to his face and watch how he realizes I won't be falling for it this time.

"He cheated too," he points at Tom as he says this and I just sigh and shake my head, really he'd sink that low.

"I did not cheat." Tom looks directly at Craig as he says this, and for a kid his size, he sure can glare.

"Oh yes you did… Now you've tasted your own medicine.." Craig retorts and sticks out his tongue.

"Alright, enough!" I look at Craig, "No more of this," shaking my head I look at Tom and then back at Craig, "Honestly, I am not sure which one of you is the child and which one is the adult."

"JP.."

"No Craig," I look sternly at him silencing him instantly, "You've just cheated against a child, you've just… I don't… I just…" I shake my head disbelievingly as I look at him, he's done many stupid things in the time that I've known him, and this one isn't even that major compared to some of the shit he put us through last year, but come on, cheating against a child, winning at all costs, that's just wrong.

"I.."

"Don't even try to justify pushing Tom out of the way so that you could win." I tell him angrily as I look him directly in the eyes and after we stare into each other's eyes for a moment, he just looks away, rubbing nervously at his neck while his cheeks flush. I'm about to say something else when the door to the flat is opened with Max and OB walking in.

**That is all for now... **


	46. Chapter 46

**Craig**

I can't believe he told me off, and on my birthday too, and in front of Tom. I thought he'd be happy for me, that I won, but no. I sigh and look at him as he takes out some clothes from one of the bags.

We'd just gotten back from Max's place. Once Max and OB had returned they'd instantly been bombarded with questions by Tom and it had taken a bit for Max to explain properly what had happened to Niall and Kieron, but to make a long story short, they were both dead.

OB had told us more as Max took Tom off upstairs. It seems Niall had died instantly when the pole from Mobs had gone through the window of the car and into his chest. It wasn't clear how, but the car had kept moving at a high speed and Kieron, he'd died when he'd hit the ground after being run over by the car.

The reason for Max and OB being gone for so long was that they'd both given statements as to what they'd seen, since they'd been the only ones out on the street when it happened. We'd not seen much from the drive'n'buy, only the car going through Mobs and the pole going through the car, but seems that the statements from Max and OB were enough and there was also the CCTV footage.

"Here you go," I look up and see him holding some clothes for me, and then just look away, as I remember I am slightly mad at him for telling me off, on my birthday. "Craig?" I don't look at him. "What's wrong?" he wonders, making me snort, but still I won't look at him.

He crouches down and tries to look into my eyes, but I just turn away from him. He's persistent though, he sits down next to me, nudging me with his shoulder, which only makes me move away from him.

"Craig?" I ignore him, making him sigh as he shuffles closer to me, "What's the matter?" he says softly as he places a hand on my shoulder, which I shrug off, he isn't going to get away playing dumb with me, not today. "Sweetheart, will you please talk to me? You're really starting to worry me." he says and I can hear the worry in his voice, "You've been quiet for a really long time now, it's not like you." He finishes as he rubs his hand up and down my back, which I let him do, since I'm in the mood for being petted.

I look up and into his eyes, instantly seeing his anxiety. "You yelled at me," I say with the most hurt voice I can pull off as I pout and look away from him. "It's my birthday and you yelled at me." I almost whisper as I sniffle and look onto my hands.

"I didn't…" he grips my hand giving it a squeeze, "When did I yell at you?"

"Before, when I won the game." I say quietly as I look at him.

He looks at me for a moment, really looks, then shakes his head, "Is this all about that?" I shrug and nod, which makes him chuckle. "Are you seriously upset over me telling you off for cheating?"

"I did not…" I protest but he shakes his head.

"Whatever you did, or didn't do.." he sighs, "Are you upset about that?"

"I thought you'd be happy… Proud that I won.." I shrug.

"You are an idiot Craig Dean," he chuckles and shakes his head, as I frown. "I don't care if you win or lose a bloody videogame… I love you and I'm proud of you regardless, but when you cheat to win at things, then I'll tell you off about it… Birthday or no birthday."

"I don't think you love me," I say with a shrug and look away from him.

John Paul laughs, then wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him, pressing a kiss to my cheek, "I do, loads and loads," he whispers in my ear, "Only you, forever and always."

"Yeah?"

"Of course, who else can I love? Who else is as annoying as you, who else is as sexy as you, who else loves me like you do?" he nudges me with his shoulder again and smiles that beautiful smile of his.

"You still yelled at me." I say childishly and continue to pout.

"Because you cheated against a child." He replies simply and shrugs. "Just because it's your birthday it doesn't mean you can cheat."

"But.."

"Can we drop this now Craig?" he sighs as he looks at me and slowly I nod, I can tell he won't back down and in theory I know I'm in the wrong here, in theory, but you know I had to see if he would say he had been wrong.

"Fine," I let out a dramatic sigh and then lay fully down on the bed, in John Paul's old room, and look up at the ceiling.

I feel him move off the bed and look over at him as he walks over to the closet and begins to undress. He's just gorgeous and it's hard to stay mad at him because, well look at him, I groan as he takes off his shirt and that has him look at me, then he does something I've noticed him do a couple of times lately, he sucks in his stomach and smiles, making me frown.

"Why… why'd you do that?"

He shakes his head, indicating he doesn't know what I'm talking about, making me roll my eyes as I get off the bed and go over to him, "Why are you sucking in your stomach?" I ask as I place my hand on his stomach and look him in the eyes.

"I'm not," he says and looks away from me, trying to move away from me too, but I won't let him, I cup his face and make him look at me.

"John Paul,"

He sighs and then stops sucking in his stomach, "I… I just…" he sighs again and steps away from me, this time I let him and then sit down next to him on the bed, "I don't want you to see that I've gotten fat," he says in a small voice and shrugs before folding his arms over his chest.

"You're not," I make him look at me again, "You're not fat, you're beautiful," I say honestly as I look at him, "This," I place my hand on his stomach and rub it in a circle, "this is the same now as it was when we first got together, you look exactly the same now as you did back then." I smile and kiss him on the lips, "You're as beautiful now as you were then," he snorts at that and shakes his head, trying to say something, but I won't let him, "You look exactly the same John Paul."

"I don't though," he says, "I've put on some weight this past month," he shrugs and looks at me, "I don't want you to see, cause I'm scared you'll not fancy me anymore." He looks away and I shake my head disbelievingly.

"You're an idiot," I chuckle as he glares at me, "I love you, you the person, not you the body. I don't care if you're thin, fat, fit or anything else, as long as you're you, then I'll love you for the rest of my life."

"But…" he begins and then sighs as he looks away from me.

"But nothing, you're beautiful and I love you just like you are, I don't want you to suck in your stomach, or anything else, I just want you."

He sighs again as he looks at me, "I just wish… I looked a bit more like you… you know fitter and all," he shrugs.

"I don't!" he looks questioningly at me, "Well I don't… If you began looking like me, that'd mean you spent a lot of time at the gym and not enough time with me, and I don't want that, I want to be able to be with you for as long as it's possible in one day," I shrug, "besides I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally this way and you're just naturally the way you are, why change it?" I see him processing all of this and I smile, "I mean, if it makes you feel better, we could… we could go out running together sometimes, you know so that we have another thing that we can do together."

"I…"

"But don't think that I think you're fat or anything, we'll only do that if you want, and if you don't want that then we can do something else." I add as I interrupt him and he nods slowly.

"I'd like that…" he says quietly, "Maybe it's the entire just not doing anything this past month, maybe it got into my head that I'm fatter?" he says questioningly and I smile and nod.

"I think so, because you're perfect, just the way you are."

He looks away from me for a moment, seemingly lost in his thoughts and I take the time to look at his upper body, honestly he's always looked like this, a little bit muscular, but not too much, and just has that build over him that makes him look hot. I let my eyes roam over his chest, paying particular attention to his left nipple that's erect, it's always erect and it's gorgeous. I look at his abdomen and then his belly button and the hairs just below it that lead down to his groin where I know his beautiful cock is hidden beneath the pants his wearing.

"I want to get one of these boxing bags in Dublin," he says, snapping me out of my reverie. I blink a couple of times then try to focus and then shake my head as he turns to look at me, "You know, so that I can have a workout at home sometimes."

"Oh…" smiling I nod, "Sure, we can look it up and get one… Suppose I can use it too," I shrug and he gets this wistful expression on his face before smiling and nodding.

"You'd look hot, standing in just your boxers hitting it," he says and I chuckle and blush.

"You'd look hotter, standing naked hitting it," I tell him cheekily as I press a kiss to his lips, making him chuckle and shake his head. "The sweat dripping off your body as you assault that bag, harder and harder… until you're so exhausted you can't throw another punch." He gulps and nods, "Then I'd take you to the bathroom and we'd shower together, before going up to our room and get into bed, where I'd massage your back, shoulders and arms."

"If we were in bed together, I'd like to think you'd massage something other than my back, shoulders and arms…" he says with a teasing glint in his eyes, "Maybe you'd massage something that'd make me scream out your name…" he winks and I gulp.

"Well…" he strokes his thumb over my cheek as I speak, "… we're in bed now…" I bite my lip as he leans in close, our lips only a fraction apart.

"That we are," he agrees as he looks into my eyes and that's it, I'm sold, I lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, easily gaining access to his mouth as he sinks into the kiss and parts his lips for me. I feel his fingers running through my hair, pulling me closer to him and I push him backwards, making him lay down fully, as we continue to kiss.

His hands leave my hair and slowly make their way down to my shirt, grasping at it, pulling it from my pants to expose my skin which he instantly begins to explore, before sighing and pushing me gently away, indicating for me to get undressed, which I do, in record time and as he does the same, I get back on top of him, resuming our kiss, as our hardening cocks rub against each other.

I don't know how, but I flip him over, and kiss a trail from his neck, down to his gorgeous arse, sinking my teeth into his cheek, he lets out a little scream and then looks back at me, "I just wanted to taste you," I say innocently as I look at the red mark I've left behind, he's mine and I have every right to mark him in anyway I see fit, I think to myself as he rests his head back down on his arms.

His head doesn't stay there for long though, as moments later I am licking him out and he's begging me to go deeper, to keep doing that, to never stop, and I can only do what he asks of me, what he wants I'll always do my best to make happen, I'd do anything for him, I love him.

"Oh fucking hell Craig," he groans as I insert a finger, then two and three, and stretch him, prepare him, play with the spot that is reserved only for me, which is truly the part of him that only I get to touch, that only I get to feel. He shudders, lets out a whimper and then moans out loud as he cums all over the sheets. "I… fuck me… fuck me that was…" he pants, but I'm not done, I don't stop what I'm doing, because I want him to stay on this high, to have another orgasm, and another and another, I want him to be utterly satisfied, and I want him to know that him being him, is what makes me feel like this, him being so fucking beautiful, witty, charming and adorable, just to name a few things, is why I love him.

I get up and guide my cock to his entrance, and with one fluid motion I am inside of him, he doesn't whimper or cry out, he just groans and pushes back forcefully making my cock connect with his prostate with each thrust. I grip his still hard cock, which is as sensitive as ever and begin to stroke it with each thrust of my hips, I don't let up and he doesn't want me to either, he just keeps asking me to never stop, and I won't… I'll never ever stop loving him, caring for him, fucking him, being fucked by him, making love to him, being made love to by him… I've got him in my life now, and I'm not letting go of him ever again.

"Oh shit," I groan as with one last thrust I empty myself inside of him, at the exact same moment as he cums all over the sheets again, but this is different, he comes twice, once where it's evident to see, but the second time is inside of him, he shakes like he's never shook before, I think he got an internal orgasm, if such a thing exists.

He goes limp for a moment and I am slightly panicked as he flops down on the bed, "John Paul?" I slip out of him and am by his side in less than a second, I shake him and he moves his eyes, then opens them and looks at me, just looks into my soul, or so it feels, and then he smiles.

".AMAZING!" he tells me, "Best fuck ever," I chuckle and lean down, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Told you you were fucking hot, and a huge turn on, didn't I?" I smile and he nods, "You're sexy John Paul, and even if you put on some weight, it doesn't change that, you'll always be stunning in my eyes."

He smiles at that, a really beautiful smile, which changes into something dirty as he launches himself at me.


	47. Chapter 47

**This has not been proof-read, so if there are some grammar or punctuation issues, so be it. **

**John Paul**

Well that wasn't embarrassing at all, I open my eyes and look at the door, and then at Craig who's trying not to laugh, but can't stop himself. "Oi!" I exclaim and that just has him laughing which in turn has me shoving him slightly, and that makes him fall off the bed, which gets me to laugh and him to sit there rubbing his arse with the sexiest pout ever in place on those beautiful lips.

"Ow…" he glares and pouts at the same time, and I just shake my head, as I hold out my hand for him, he grabs it, and then pulls me out of the bed, and with a loud thump I land on top of him, my knee mere inches from his groin.

Then… Well then we both just burst out laughing at the entire situation.

"Thank god for your speedy reflexes," I get out between laughs as I brush my hand though his hair.

"Yeah… you love my reflexes," he raises his eyebrows cheekily and then laughs as I playfully slap him.

"Suppose that's us found then, better get dressed and get back to Steph, yeah?"

After my little body image meltdown earlier in the day, we'd been at it for hours, I fucked him, he fucked me again, I blew him, he fucked me into the mattress, I licked him out and fucking him into the mattress and then he made love to me, sweet and tender and well beautiful… Or it would've been had it not been for Michaela.

Craig had just entered me, I'd wrapped my legs around his back, holding him in place, his cock was doing oh so wonderful things as it pressed against my prostate, and then came the knock, "John Paul…" and then the door was being opened, and thank GOD for Craig's reflexes, he managed to cover us with the duvet, and I really don't think she saw anything, though with the position we were in, well it didn't leave much to the imagination.

Michaela had gone white as a sheet, "I… I…" she'd stammered, and it takes a bloody lot to make her speechless, I'd closed my eyes from the sheer embarrassment of it all, I mean, I'm her older brother and she'd just walked in on me having sex with my boyfriend, "I…" she'd stared for a second longer, then slammed the door shut, and I could hear her run down the stairs, and out the front door.

Craig had looked at me and then asked, "Ehm… you mind if we…" he looked down between us, and I'd shook my head, I mean that did sort of kill the mood.

**Craig**

His face was a picture when Michaela slammed the door shut, he actually went beetroot red, shut his eyes and if I didn't know better I could've sworn he was praying. It just made me laugh, which in turn made him shove me, with me landing on the floor as I lost my balance, then he was laughing and now we're both on the floor laughing together.

It took him mentioning going back to Steph for me to remember what had happened today, it's weird really, but the moment I realized he thought he was fat, thought I wouldn't fancy him anymore, everything else stopped mattering, me making him feel better became my main priority. It's always my main priority that he's happy, but this, this was something else, I'd never suspected he'd say anything like that to me, ever.

"God I nearly forgot about Steph," I say as I shake my head, making him frown, "Well you're more important, so I honestly didn't think about her or anything else, just about you and how you were feeling." He smiles as I say that and I smile too, "You do get that I love you, and that I don't think you're fat or anything foolish like that, yeah?" I wonder and he nods as he looks into my eyes, "Good, now come on, let's get dressed." He gets up, pulling me up with him and grabs his clothes. I watch him as he dresses, "John Paul," he stops and looks at me as I walk over to him, and place my hands on his stomach, rubbing small circles on it with my fingers, "You're beautiful," I tell him which has him blush and look away, "You are, and I know I don't say it enough, cause… well I'm an idiot, but you really are and if you ever feel down, or anything, then just talk to me, yeah?" he looks up and bites his lip as he looks into my eyes, "It's what I'm here for, it's my job as your boyfriend to be there for you when you need to talk, okay?"

"Alright," he nods and presses a small kiss to my lips.

"Promise?"

He chuckles, shakes his head and then nods, "I promise, Craig."

**Craig**

Well we made it as far as to the living room, and then Myra and the rest of the family came home, Myra looked at us and then burst into tears before running up to her room. There was this moment of awkward silence between the siblings, literally all of them looked at each other, and then Tina and Carmel went after Myra. Mercedes headed out to be with her boyfriend, Michaela turned on the TV and Jacqui went to the kitchen to find a drink before returning and telling us that OB and Max had been to the Dog and had told everyone about what had happened, and that Myra had insisted on going to the hospital to see the bodies, which really wasn't possible, but it had become possible. I'd nearly asked what Jacqui meant, but one look at JP who rolled his eyes, told me everything I needed to know, the old McQueen charm had been used.

"She seems pretty much out of it," John Paul says and Jacqui nods.

"She is sweetheart, Kieron… well he meant the world to her in his own way and Niall, she really liked him for whichever reason, this is hard for her, she's lost two people she truly cared for." She sighs, "She was just numb… literally numb when we left, she didn't let me come in with her when we were there, said she needed to say good bye on her own, and then after she barely reacted to anything, until she was stood there just before looking at the two of you."

I frown at this and John Paul nods and then shrugs as he rests his head on my shoulder.

"How are you doing?" Jacqui wonders and he sighs and then looks over at Michaela for a moment before replying.

"Alright I suppose, if I think about it logically then I barely knew them, you know they've been here for what 6-7 months? Perfect strangers really, but…" he shrugs, "I mean, we were mates and it's weird to think they're both gone, though to be honest, I was more worried about how mum would react, as it… as tragic as it is, it just isn't something that saddens me that these two men are no longer around." He pauses and then looks at me with a frown, "Does that make me a bad person, thinking like that?"

I think about it for a moment, and I don't see how it should make him a bad person, because it doesn't. "Well… no, because… I mean you care for them in a way, but there isn't that bond you have with mates you've known ages is there, so you might be sad that this happened and, well it is a sad thing, but it's basically two people on the outskirts of your social life who passed away, and I suppose the thing you could be sad about is that they're not around so that you could get to know them better." I shrug, and he looks at me as though I've just said the craziest thing ever, though it does make sense in my head. "Well it makes sense to me," I shake my head and he chuckles before pressing a soft kiss to my lips, which knowing us doesn't stay soft, I don't know which one of us, deepens it, but one of us does, and the next thing I know we're making out, that is until Michaela makes a puking sound.

"What's with you?" Jacqui wonders and as I look over at Michaela, I see she's looking in our direction, but not at us.

"Do you two ever stop touching each other?" she says disgustingly and I grin like an idiot when I shake my head.

"No, why should we? We're in love." I smile as I see her cringe at that, making her uncomfortable is becoming my favorite pastime.

"Yeah right," she snorts.

"Yeah…" I kiss John Paul on the lips, "Right…" another kiss and then I turn to look at Michaela again, she just looks at us, well at her brother, then glares at me and the next thing we know she's run out of the house, slamming the door shut after her.

I look at John Paul and he looks at me, I can see he's blushing, but also he can see the funny side to all of this, and it takes us two seconds before we start laughing.

"What was all that about?" Jacqui wonders as she looks at us, John Paul shrugs and then looks at me, looks into my eyes, and I know he wants me to tell her.

"Well…" I start as I look into his eyes, asking him if he is sure, he gives a small nod and then rests his head on my shoulder. "She sort of…" I sigh and rub on my neck, "I mean… we we're… and… she…" I shake my head as I try to form a proper sentence. "We were in bed…. And.. well…" I lift my eyebrows as I look at her, hoping she'd get my drift.

Jacqui frowns, then looks at her brother, then at me, back to John Paul and then she gets it, "Oh!" is what she says and then laughs, "So now she's walked in on all of us having sex," she chuckles and that has us laughing, "God the look on her face when she walked in on me and Tony," she shakes her head, "Suppose that's part of being a McQueen, we've all been walked in on during sex, or we have walked in on people while they were at it."

I feel John Paul nodding and he smiles sadly as he looks into my eyes, oh right, my engagement, I'd nearly forgotten about that fiasco, but suppose that does count, though we weren't having sex when we were caught, almost yes, but full on sex, not when she walked in on us.

"Well, I guess now I've been walked in on by Sarah, Myra, Kieron and Michaela, while in bed with John Paul," I shake my head, "Only Michaela walked in on us while we were… having sex though." I clarify as Jacqui raises her eyebrows at us.

"Ah… I see you're becoming one of us…" she says with a grin, and that makes me smile, because I feel accepted by her, and I know she's the one John Paul is closest to of all his sisters, so to have her accept me, means the world to me.

**John Paul**

"D'you think we have too much sex?" I turn to look at Craig, not quite believing he just asked me that. He notices my frown and sits up, pressing a kiss to my shoulder.

"Define too much," I shrug and he sighs before speaking.

"Well… just today I suppose… I mean, how many times have we been at it today? 10-12-15?" He wonders and I do a quick count, yeah that seems about right, "Just look at what's gone on today, two people died and the moment we got back to here, back to this room, we sort of forgot about everything…"

"We're blokes, we're young, we have a high sexual drive," I shrug, "We're in love, and you wanted to make me feel better, feel loved and wanted and sexy," I smirk, "and you did, in case you were wondering," I tell him, making him blush.

"But… we just forgot about everything else... people died, we were more or less there when it happened too," he continues and I sigh as I cup his face and press a kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Maybe we do have more sex some days than an average couple has in a month, or two months," he nods, "But there's nothing wrong in that, and yeah sometimes we get lost in our own bubble, I don't see how that's so bad" I shrug, "It's our relationship and we do with it as we please, if we feel like having sex 15 times in a day, then we'll have sex 15 times in a day… if we just want to shut ourselves away from everything else, then so be it." I smile as I kiss him on the lips, "We're only young once, we've not been properly back together for that long, we're loved up and only have eyes for each other, so of course we'll have loads of mind-blowing sex whenever we can."

"But.." he sighs and I can see he's still confused, but I know just the way to explain it, I think.

"Okay so say nothing had happened, they'd not died, nothing at all," he nods, "Would we not have snuck away to have some us time?" he bits his lip, blushes adorably and looks away as he nods, "Exactly, and I doubt we'd have been back that quick either," he chuckles, "Look Craig, what happened, happened, yes it's tragic, and yes it put a damper on the festivities back at the Dog, but that doesn't mean we have to stop living, does it?"

"Suppose not," he smiles.

"Good, and you were helping me deal with something, reassuring me about things, I'd have done the same to you in a heartbeat, nothing else matters to me, just you, you're my life sweetheart."

"You're my life too," he says sweetly, making my insides melt.

"I don't think we have too much sex, or that we don't care about something as tragic as what happened today, I just think we lose ourselves in each other, we love each other so much that we allow ourselves to drift into a bubble where we feel safe and loved, where for a little bit of time we can shut out everything else and just be." I shrug, "I mean okay today was maybe a little bit extreme," he blushes and I smirk, "But hey, we'll only live once, and we're in the mood, so why the fuck not?"

"Makes sense," he smiles, "Just felt a bit weird with them being dead and us just… well you know," he shrugs and I nod, I do get it, but it just didn't really cross my mind.

"Well don't think about it then," I say teasingly as I tickle him, making him giggle girlishly as he tries to bat away my hands.

"Stop… JP, stop…" he laughs.

"Make me…" I grin wickedly and pin his hands about his head with one arm, as I continue to tickle him with the other, while pressing my full bodyweight on top of him, pinning him to the bed. "Make me stop," I say as I look into his eyes, and slowly close the gap, until our lips fuse.

Bring on the 16th round of the day.


	48. Chapter 48

**Craig**

He's sleeping, I just had to go to the bathroom and now I'm laying here just looking at him, taking in his beauty, god I'm so lucky, so incredibly lucky to be his, to have him be mine, he's just incredible and I love him so much.

He murmurs my name, and shuffles closer to me, seeking out the warmth of my body, not settling down until his arm sneaks over my hip and I wrap my arm around his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, pulling him closer to me, holding him tightly.

I let my fingers play with his hair as I look at his face, he seems to peaceful, so angelic in fact, though he is far from being an angel, hell with what he was doing to me, well that was far from angelic, let's just leave it at that, my cock actually stirs at the memory of that, he's incredible.

We'd gotten in a couple of hours ago, back home to our house in Dublin, we'd never planned on staying for long after Steph's wedding, were in fact meant to go back the next day, but ended up staying a couple of extra days, mostly for Myra's sake, she'd been pretty shook up about what had happened, and so John Paul had asked if I minded, which I didn't.

Him and Jacqui had taken control at the house, basically cleaning everything, cooking loads of meals, putting them in containers and freezing them, I think they cooked about 2 weeks worth of food, really stocked the freezer and then they'd cooked about 2 days worth of food and put that in the fridge so that the rest of the family had something to eat, I think we all knew Myra wouldn't be up for cooking anytime soon.

Myra seemed to be pleased to have all her kids home with her, at least I'd noticed she lit up one of the days when she came down and John Paul was there, with his sisters, just being himself. She'd smiled sadly and just watched him, and kept watching him as he came over and sat down in my lap, kissing me, and us just losing ourselves in our own little world, carrying a conversation with our eyes, smiling and touching and just being in love.

Though when she saw us coming down with our bags the next day, well she'd completely lost it, not wanting John Paul to leave, telling him it wasn't right that he went away before the funerals and just doing what she could to make him stay.

John Paul wasn't having any of it, he wasn't interested in going to the funerals and he wanted to go home.

"But you are home," she'd told him, which had him shaking his head.

"This isn't my home, my home is in Dublin," he'd told her.

That had hurt Myra, I could see that, I think John Paul could see that too, but it was the truth, his home is in Dublin.

"But they were your friends, you can't not go to their funerals," she'd pleaded with him, but he'd shaken his head.

"I didn't even know them properly,"

"But…"

"No mum, I'm going home now."

Myra had tried to protest again, but Jacqui had stepped in and told her to leave John Paul alone, that if he wanted to go home, then he should be able to do just that, and that she couldn't force him to go to a funeral, let alone two of them.

Myra had relented, not that it mattered to John Paul, he'd have left regardless, but he'd kissed her and all the girls good bye and we'd left the house.

"Craig?" I look at him and see him opening his eyes, "Why are you up?" he wonders and I smile as I kiss his forehead.

"Bathroom," I tell him, "Now I'm just thinking about the last couple of days," I shake my head and then chuckle. "Remember Steph's face the next day when we went round?" I smirk as I think back to the day after the wedding.

We'd gone to the Dog, to be with my family, since well we came back for the wedding and all that, so there we were, Darren and Jack behind the bar as always, mum sat to the side with Charlie and Nancy and Steph and Max talking to us.

"I can't believe my wedding got ruined," she'd huffed, making Max sigh and roll his eyes as he gave me a weary look as if to ask how I'd survived all my childhood with her.

"Well you are married, so no it didn't get ruined," John Paul pointed out, making both Max and I nod in agreement. "Sure the party got ruined," he continued, "But you're married and you're off on your honeymoon in a minute."

"But it was supposed to me my day," she whined, making Max look sternly at her, "Okay… OUR day," she rolled her eyes, "Now all people will think about on that day is that two people died." She'd groaned.

"Then don't say that's your anniversary to people, say today is," I'd shrugged, "Make the real date something you two celebrate in private, that way you'll have your very own day, with your very own memories and then all the other people can just think that today was the actual day."

"Suppose," she'd huffed and the three of us had rolled our eyes.

"Steph, just don't care about dates and all, you got your man, you are married, you're off on your honeymoon," John Paul had said with a smile as he kissed her cheek, "All the other stuff isn't important, he's what's important," he'd indicated to Max, "Just focus on what you have, and not on the date, isn't Max your… the one?"

Steph had blushed and nodded.

"Well then…" John Paul had looked at her and she'd smiled, before dragging Max out of the pub as the car arrived to drive them to the airport.

"She's something else, that sister of mine," I chuckle as I look at John Paul, and realize he's fallen asleep again. "It has been a long day," I smile as I pull him closer to me, "I love you," I tell him and kiss his cheek "sleep tight JP."

I close my eyes and feel sleep tugging at my brain instantly, it truly had been a long day, and now finally it's over, finally we can rest.

**Craig**

"So how was it?" Rae asks as soon as we enter the kitchen and we both look at each other then shrug, as John Paul goes to fill the kettle, and set up our cups, while I make us a quick breakfast.

We'd called Rae and told her what had happened, bypassing the gruesome details as Myra had come downstairs at that exact moment and it just didn't seem right. So we'd told her when we'd be back, a little delay, but nothing major, just wanting to be with the families' a little bit more, that sort of thing, which wasn't a lie, technically.

I shake my head as I begin to tell her, leaving JP to sort out our breakfast for us, which he does while I talk, and then at a point when he joins us at the table he takes over and I look at Rae as she nods and gasps and just shakes her head at what she is hearing, suppose it is a bit of a dramatic thing to hear, or even to tell about, sort of like out of a really bad soap, but that's Hollyoaks for you, the village where all that soap storyline drama stuff happens. I mean just in the past two years alone, we've had how many people die? How many explosions, murders, rapes, cars going off cliffs, kidnapping, and then the other day, it just is a rather violent village to live in, I suppose.

"You two are okay though?" I look over at Rae and nod, we are okay, more than okay, I smile and kiss JP's cheek, making him close his eyes for a second to enjoy the attention I am giving him, and then he continues to talk to Rae, about how his mother reacted, how him and Jacqui decided to help her out a bit, how he sort of feels sorry for his other siblings that they have to eat what him and Jacqui cooked, though the last bit was said with a teasing glint in his eyes.

"I don't know, I like your cooking," I tell him honestly, making him blush slightly, it's not like he hasn't cooked for me, or I haven't cooked for him, and we're no masterchefs, far from it actually, but the fact that he cares enough to want to make food for me is what gets me, and I'll eat his cooking anytime, because I know it's because he loves me that he's made me the food.

"I'd say the same, but your food is barely edible." He says cheekily and I smack him upside the head as I pout, the bloody cheek, and here I was being nice.

"Awww," we both look over at Rae, "You two are so sweet," she smiles as she gets up and kisses both our cheeks. "I'm glad you're both alright, and good on you staying behind to help your families' get through an ordeal like that, losing people they know and care for." She continues making us both nod, "I have to go now, got some plans, but let's have dinner together, yeah?"

"Sounds good," John Paul smiles and then looks at me, "As long as Craig doesn't cook." He chuckles and then runs out of the kitchen, with me in hot pursuit.

"I'll see you later," I hear Rae shout up the stairs as I catch him and bundle him into our room, calling back to her that yeah we'll see her later, before shoving him down on the bed. He's panting, trying to catch his breath as I stand there taking him in, he's so beautiful, even when he's that flushed, he's simply gorgeous.

"So, not a fan of my cooking, eh?" he bites his lip and shakes his head, "What are you a fan of then?" I wonder as I climb onto the bed, placing myself on my knees, between his legs, his eyes look away from me for a second, then he looks up at me, as his hand brushes over my groin, making me groan.

"Your cock," he says as his eyes lock with mine, and the next thing I know he's flipped us over, and is dragging my pants off, quickly followed by my boxers, leaving my bottom half naked and exposed to him. He grins and then takes me into his mouth, making my cock harder and harder with each passing second, he just knows how to turn me on, one look, one touch, one flick of the tongue, he knows me better than I know myself, and I love him for it.

He pushes my tshirt up, until it's resting under my chin, and I quickly whip it off, as his fingers begin to move all over my torso, caressing, touching, pinching, making me groan and beg for more, more of this sweet torture. He moves on of the hands down between my legs, and pushes a finger inside of me, gaining quick access, as I have no reason to tense up or be afraid of him hurting me, I know what pleasure I can expect from his finger, and he doesn't disappoint, almost instantly he's pushing against my prostate, making me thrust my hips up, making my cock push all the way into his throat, but he doesn't push back, he can take all of me, he always could, ever since that first time.

"Turn around sweetheart," he tells me after having fully prepared me and I do, I get up on all fours and listen as he takes off his clothes and then I feel him as he climbs back into bed, his hands on my hips, thumbs rubbing on my back, "I want you, I never thought I'd want anyone as much as I want you," he whispers as he presses soft kisses on my back, "I want you all the time," he continues as I feel his cock at my entrance.

"I want you too," I whisper back as I wait for him to push into me, "Like never before, only you," I tell him and then he flips me onto my back, pulling my legs apart.

"I want to see your face," he smiles as he guides his cock to my entrance, and then carefully breaches me, I wince slightly as the head of his cock enters me and he pauses, but I nod for him to continue, and he doesn't stop until he is fully inside of me. "You're beautiful, you know that," kissing my lips, he slowly begins to move inside of me, making me groan into his mouth as he brushes over my prostate.

He makes love to me, slowly, lovingly, there's no rush, no need to be rough, we've all the time in the world for that, just now it's all about loving each other and we do, I feel connected to him like never before, it's like we're the same person, which is kind of weird if you think about it, but it just feels like we're one entity, and it's all just perfect, a perfect rhythm, a perfect harmony, a perfect love.

"Oh," I groan as he sinks his teeth into my neck, he's marking me as he pushes himself deeper and deeper into me, I claw at his back, wanting him to be as close to me as physically possible, I want all of him, I need all of him, it's as if I've been starved of his touch, it always feels like that and it always is better than the last time we had sex, it just feels better, nothing is ever the same, it's never the same passion, never the same love, it's always different and exciting and still makes us both feel safe and secure.

As he brushes over my prostate again, my cock erupts between us, coating both our stomachs with my desire for him, I shudder and moan out my appreciation as I close around his cock inside of me. He lifts himself slightly, scooping some of my cum from my stomach and taking it in his mouth, before pressing his mouth onto mine, kissing me, sharing my lust for him with me, his tongue battles mine and wins, not that I mind losing this particular battle at all, he's in control and I love it, I love that he has full control over me, I love that I know I don't have to be the strong one, that he is there to support me whenever I need it now.

I pull back and swallow hard, as we continue to look into each other's eyes, he pecks me again, and again, small, soft, delicate kisses on my lips as he keeps sliding in and out of me, then he stills for a moment, pushes all the way in and calls out my name as I feel his lust for me fill me up. "I love you John Paul," I whisper as I pull him down towards me, feeling his heart beating fast against my chest, he's breathless, he's sweaty, he's flustered and tired, but he is just stunning and has a glow about him that makes me feel loved.

I manage to pull the duvet up around us with my feet, not letting him go for a second, he's still inside of me, but I don't want him to break our connection. I kiss his hair and stay like that, him on top of me, still buried deep inside of me. "I love you too," he says quietly as his hand entwines with the one I had resting on his cheek.

I feel him fall asleep shortly after that, and I feel content, like I've never felt before, it's weird, but it's as if this time, leaving Hollyoaks was sort of final, I know we'll go visit from time to time, but there is nothing left there for us, this is home now, he is home now.

**Rae**

I get home in the afternoon and it's all quiet, not a sound, nothing. I know we're not the loudest house on the street, but with those two back, well usually there's always music on somewhere in the house as John Paul always has some of the new stuff playing, and Craig always has to sing along, but now, well it's silent.

I go into the kitchen, and see the tea cups and breakfast remains are still on the table, just like they were when I left this morning. I frown and head up, dropping my bag in my room, I go by Rich's room and see he's not in, Mark's room is closed, but he went back home and the door is always closed anyways. I go up the final flight of stairs and knock carefully on the boys door, there's no reply, so carefully I open the door to look if there are there.

The sight that meets me is just beautiful and brings tears to my eyes, both of them fast asleep, John Paul on top of Craig, resting his head on Craig's chest, Craig's hand on his back and their hands holding together. I just stand there and watch them for a while, they don't seem to move at all, and they just look so at peace, so happy.

Craig just seems to radiate love, such a difference to the guy that wouldn't even socialize with the rest of us when he first moved in here, the one who kept to himself and looked miserable, now, well it's a whole different person really, and I couldn't be happier for him, he deserves a break in life, and John Paul is that break for him, they're right for each other, fit each other, soul mates.

I smile and close the door, heading back down to the kitchen, where I prepare to make dinner for us. I don't think I've ever seen a couple who are as in love as those two are, and they don't even know half the things they do at times. I chuckle to myself as I clear away the remains of their breakfast and load the dishwasher.

Those looks they share sometimes that are so electric they can take your breath away, the subtle touches, the small smiles, the intuitiveness of knowing where the other one is, always turning to look at the door before the other one enters. It's not like they don't pay attention to us, their friends, because they do, but sometimes, for a brief moment it's as if everyone else melts away and they only have eyes for each other, the small looks they have carry promises of things, and they hardly ever have to say anything, the looks say it all, the conversation is in their eyes.

Not to say they can't have lives of their own, because they do, but they always just seem stronger, more secure when they are together, it's as if they weren't fully alive when they're apart, if John Paul is out shopping then Craig would sulk and mope around complaining about missing him and the minute John Paul would get back then Craig would pounce on him, kissing him to within and inch of his life, not that John Paul minds, who'd mind having such a greeting when coming back from doing the shopping.

John Paul is different though, if Craig is out doing errands then he'd do things for Craig, make sure to prepare his brew for him, make him a sandwich, or just go up and tidy their room, he always sent Craig out on errands during the revision period, so that Craig could have a break from the studies and so that he could clean up their room, sort out all the notes Craig had thrown onto the floor in frustration, never throwing them out, as if knowing Craig would need them sooner or later, which Craig did. Usually he'd bolt home, whatever errand he'd gone on forgotten, dash upstairs and continue working.

Suppose it's how he works and John Paul knows this, I think he knows Craig better than any person on the planet does, he just gets him, it took me some time to understand Craig, and I know it takes people time, but John Paul, well they both told me that John Paul was the first and only person to really get Craig from the first moment they met, they're made for each other and deep down I think they both know this.

I stick the kettle one, stir the pot one final time, and turn off the stove, food is ready I just need to go shower and then I'll go and wake them, knowing them, they'll not have moved from the spot they were in when I looked in on them a while ago.


	49. Chapter 49

**Not proof-read, just so you know. **

**Also the Rich/Rae bits are going on at the same time as Craig/JP are in Italy... **

**Craig**

Finally, finally I'm done, finally it's vacation time for me, us, we're off in the morning, Italy here we come, well almost. Since we came home from Hollyoaks we've literally had no time to breathe, both of us being called into work.

The regular DJ, Ant, had had some sort of accident, and had broken his leg, which basically meant he wouldn't be back at all, before he moved to Spain, so our boss Ben called us and asked if JP could start earlier, knowing full well he'd have to bring in a temp at some point, when both of us went off on vacation.

We'd literally spent two days more or less in bed and then since then we've had two weeks of non-stop work, luckily our working hours were the same, so we always left and came back together, sometimes Rae and Rich would join us, other times just us.

But yeah, John Paul had been a hit with the crowds, and I was dead proud of him, he'd been so nervous bless him, but he'd just done what he does best and had impressed everyone on the first night and just kept getting better in the following nights, always having them all in the palm of his hands, surprising people with his songs and mixes, he's really amazing when he's working.

But now it's finally time for us to just relax, just be us and do us things and have a proper holiday together, because we both need it, this last year has been an emotional rollercoaster for both of us, but now we're back on track, back to being an item, back where we belong, and nothing will keep us apart now, nothing and no one, I won't let them.

**John Paul**

"For fucks sake, why don't they bloody say go that way, when they know…" Craig grumps and then goes in the opposite direction leaving me stood there thinking what the hell happened.

"Craig?"

"Come on, keep up John Paul," he calls back and then I see him run out of the airport, I frown and then follow him outside, seeing him in the line for a taxi.

"What are you doing?" I wonder, we'd agreed on taking the bus to the hotel, it wasn't that long and we'd only have to walk a little bit.

"Getting the bus, what's it look like I'm doing," he shakes his head as a taxi pulls up, "I figure this is quicker." He tells me as he takes my luggage from me and places it in the trunk, before holding the door open for me.

"But… we agreed…" I shake my head as I look at him, making him sigh and push me into the taxi.

"Yeah yeah, we agreed and all… but I'm tired, not in the mood for walking around trying to find the bus stop and not in the mood for walking around streets I don't know with all the luggage, this is quicker." He shrugs as he shows the driver the address and I shake my head as we set off on our way to our hotel in Rome.

"Can we afford it?" I whisper and he smiles nodding his head, "How?" I frown, I mean yeah our jobs pay good and all, but we'd just been in Hollyoaks and that had taken a big chunk of our money, not the vacation money, but the pocket money and all that.

"Oh… I just dipped into my savings," he smiles and I instantly shake my head, those money are for when he starts his own business, investment money, he's told me about them and I agreed that keeping them, saving them was a wise idea.

"That's… but… no Craig," I shake my head, making him kiss me on the cheek and grip my hand.

"Look, I know we agreed to not use anything from the savings, but…" he smiles, "That was before you started working, I mean, now we both have a good income, and I figure it's ours anyways, so if we both save a bit from our salaries in the future, then this will be covered quick… I mean it's for our future, this business, whatever it will be, it'll be something both of us are involved in, somehow, yeah?" he says and looking into his eyes I can see he's being serious, so I slowly nod, making him kiss me hard on the lips.

"Our future," I say with a smile as he pulls back, and lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder as the taxi drives us through Rome.

**Rich**

That hurts, that actually hurts, it feels like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on and then fed to dogs, while I just stood and watched. I'd gone to Paula's with some breakfast, being the good and caring boyfriend that I am and let myself in as I had a key. I'd set everything up on a tray and gone to her room, and then, well then my world came crashing down.

There on her bed, moaning and gyrating in absolute pleasure, there she was my girlfriend, the one person who I… who was supposed to love me, having sex with another bloke. To make it even better it was her housemates boyfriend. I'd dropped the tray in shock, some glass broke, that had stopped them from their lovemaking for a moment.

The hurt on my face couldn't have been masked, and what did she do, she just looked at me, literally looked at me, and then kissed the guy while looking into my eyes, before continuing as if I wasn't even there. I could've stayed, dragged him from her, hurt him, but that look she gave me, the way she just didn't give a shit about me and my feelings, why fight for someone who clearly doesn't want me, eh?

So, I left, and wandered around Dublin for half of the day, not noticing the rain, the wind, anything really, just off in my own bubble, thinking about where it went wrong, we'd spent most of yesterday together, there had been no signs at all, she'd been all over me, like she'd always been from the first day we go together. I really didn't notice anything, I thought she loved me, I know I cared for her, I didn't love her, that I'd known for a while, but I was still invested in the relationship, still attentive, still there for her when she had a huge row with her sister when her sister had been visiting and she'd come over to my house, tears running down her face, I really don't know what changed.

Eventually I got home, I was drenched, I was freezing, I just came home and I was numb.

Rae had popped her head out of the kitchen and had instantly gotten worried, I think she asked something or other, but I didn't react much, just told her I'd caught Paula cheating on me and that it was over, then shrugged off my jacket, and went upstairs, taking off my clothes as I went, only wearing my boxers by the time I got to the bathroom.

I'd spent a lot of time in there, how long I don't know, but my fingers were wrinkly and my body was red from all the hot water, and all the crying I'd done in there, I was hurt, I'm still hurt, but I knew someone who'd cheat on me like that really didn't love me, doesn't love me and probably never did in the first place, despite her telling me so many times.

It's not like, with Craig and John Paul, each time they tell each other they love each other, they'd light up, and you can tell they mean it, and both know it too, with Paula, she'd say it and I'd not feel anything, not believe her either I suppose, and the worst part of it all is I'd said it back too, without meaning it, and she'd smile and kiss me, and then well we'd get into bed and say it a couple of times there too.

She was a decent fuck though, I suppose, I've had better, I've had worse, to be perfectly honest sometimes just wanking was better than being with her. God well that really makes me sound like a decent guy doesn't it? I suppose maybe I knew we'd not last, just that she managed to end it before I did, though had I not caught her, would she have told me, I seriously doubt it now that I think about it.

I'd dragged myself out of the bathroom and into my own room, noticing how my shoes were next to my door, all my clothes gone, standing at the landing for a moment, I hear the drier in the kitchen and smile for a moment, that Rae, always there for her friends, I half expected to find her in my room, wanting to chat to me. Yeah she's a great friend, I'll have to do something nice to thank her, for being her.

Sighing I'd locked my door, dropped the towel and gotten into bed, not really sure why I was so cut up about things, but deciding to just go with the flow and let myself be upset and then move on after I'd done this. So I lay in bed, naked, curled up under my duvet and I wept, I'm not sure why or what for, but I just wept.

**Rae**

I just wait patiently, sometimes I think they'll all fall apart without me being there for them to talk to, to hug, to just sit with. They're all grown men, but deep down they're all insecure boys really. Now I never liked Paula, not that I'd say it, or even show her that I didn't like her, I'd always smile, chat with her, just pretend, because I could tell Rich liked her, I knew he didn't love her, I think we all knew, he was in love with Craig so there was no chance he loved her, but he well liked her so we were nice to her.

She's the type of girl who gets what she wants, whenever she wants it, just by using her looks to her advantage, a real whore basically, but that's my opinion, and I'll keep that to myself, but I knew she wasn't good enough for Rich and I knew it wouldn't last.

I know he isn't in love with Craig anymore, I know he still cares for him, in some way I don't understand, but he knows that's something that won't ever happen, and he's fine with it, we've talked about that a couple of times over the last month and yeah there's no love there anymore.

"Hey," he says as he slouches into the living room and drops down on the sofa next to me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hey you," I smile as I look at him, he looks rough, and defeated and just like a little boy who's lost his favorite toy and could do with a cuddle? "How are you?" I wonder as I nudge him slightly with my shoulder, making him look at me for a moment and then he smiles slightly as he gives a shrug. "Want to talk?" he sighs and just looks away for a while and I suppose that he doesn't want to talk, can't say I blame him though. "Want a cuppa?" he nods and I leave him and go to the kitchen, making us both some tea.

When I return he's looking though the book I was reading, placing it back on the table once I hand him his cup, taking a sip of it and just looking at the tv.

"I…" he begins and then stops, "Where's everyone?" he wonders and I chuckle.

"Ehm… well new guy," we both laugh at that, but he is the new guy, Mark, and we just refer to him as that, at least between us, "He's gone home for the summer, you know," he rolls his eyes and playfully kicks me, "The happy couple are probably in their bed in Italy by now," I look over at the clock, "That is if they didn't get busy on the plane, or in the airport, or in the taxi, or while walking about in Rome…" I shake my head, "They do have a lot of sex, don't they?"

"They're in love," he sighs and looking at him I see he has a sort of blank expression on his face for a bit, "Good for them," he shrugs, "Suppose we'll find someone like that too, at some point."

"Yeah, guess so." You're my mister right, I think to myself, and then shake my head not wanting to let those thoughts in again, nothing can happen now anyways as I'd just be the rebound and well that never goes well does it now, it'll just ruin our friendship.

**Rich**

I don't know what it is, but just being around Rae makes me feel better, we've not said much to each other, and I can tell she really wants to say something about Paula, about her not being good enough for me about her using me, but she doesn't.

I know she doesn't like Paula, never liked her in fact, I overheard her talking to John Paul one day, both of them agreeing that Paula was shallow and well cheap, I should've been offended, should've gone in and told them off, but I didn't, because deep down I knew they were right, I guess I always knew this relationship wasn't going to last, but after the entire Craig thing, I guess it just felt good to be with someone who wanted me, though she didn't really want me I guess.

Rae shifts closer to me, and rests her head on my shoulder as we watch the movie on TV, one of those horrible action films Craig loves so much, it was in the DVD-player and neither one of us wanted to move to change it, so we just watch in relative silence, with some commentary about how crap it is once in a while.

She's really nice, smells good too, not overly perfumed like Paula, nothing like any other girl I've ever been with, just has something about her, wonder what body wash she uses, I chuckle at that and shake my head slightly as I just realize what I thought, body wash. Guess it's only funny to me, oh well.

"Thanks," I say quietly, making her lift her head slightly to look at me as she frowns, "You know, for being here, and just…" I shrug, "This." I say and she nods with a smile.

"Anytime," she tells me and returns her attention to the movie.

"Look, I've…" she looks at me again and I smile, "I want to thank you properly, you know for always being there when I need a shoulder to cry on," I bite my lip nervously, it's not like I'm asking her out on a date or anything, why am I so nervous? "Would… I… I don't… suppose…" I scratch my forehead and shake my head as I stutter, what the hell is wrong with me.

"Would I what?" she asks quietly and I breath in deeply.

"I'm trying to ask you if you'd like to go out for dinner some day, as a thanks for… well you being you… you know lovely, and supportive and a really great friend, not just to me, but to all of us." I shrug as I look at her, she… did her eyes just light up when I was asking her out and did her face fall slightly when I said she was just a friend?

She sits up, not moving away and looks at me for a moment, her eyes shining, her face so beautiful, her lips oh so soft and pink and kissable, "Why not," I hear her say and snap my head back, blinking a couple of times, fucking hell I'm turned on, I gulp and nod.

"You ok Rich?" she wonders and I have to get out of here and now, I mumble something or other and run out of the room, up the stairs and slam the door to my room shut.

What the fuck was that, she's my friend, probably the best friend I have, and I just got hard by looking at her face, her eyes, her mouth, fuck I want to kiss that mouth, I want to kiss her all over, I want to love her and make her mine, I need her and… NO, what the fuck is wrong with me, she's my friend, and she's caring, taking time out of her life to help me get over this break up I have, I shouldn't have these thoughts, I shouldn't.

I crawl back into bed and will every thought I've had away, because I can't, it's not right, she's my friend, she's lovely, and funny, and beautiful and everything a man can possibly want, she's the perfect woman, the girl you'd want to take home and show your parents and know they'll approve, she's the type of person my old mates would wish they had in their life, because she is just the most remarkably intelligent girl I've ever known, she knows things, a lot of things, and half the time she knows things about me and others, before we even know them.

Could it be that I've been living with the perfect partner for me all this time, and not noticed it because of my crush on Craig and then due to the basically rebound of that I got blinded by Paula and just didn't notice what was right in front of me? Can I… Would she? What if she says no, what if we fuck up our friendship and then everything becomes awkward?

What if she'll end up hating me, what if she doesn't like me that way? What was that look on her face when I said she was just a friend, could it be?

I get out of bed and draw a deep breath, this can go so horribly wrong, so horribly wrong, but I have to, I have to know. I go back down to the living room, and she's still sat in the same spot that I left her in some 15 minutes ago.

"You alright?" she wonders as I enter the room and look at her, but I don't reply, I just look at her face and I'm gone, literally gone. I sit down next to her and just go for it, cup her face and press my lips to hers, I see her eyes close the second I kiss her and well fireworks go off, literally fireworks go off all over my body, I'm kissing Rae, I'm kissing Rae and she's not pulling away, she's sinking into the kiss in fact.

"What?" I pull back slightly, but she shakes her head and kisses me again, pulling me down on top of her, letting her hands rub up and down my back, this is actually happening, we're actually kissing, making out, she wants me as much as I want her.

I pull back and sit up, looking at her and she's never been as beautiful as she is now, I get up and hold my hand out for her, she grips it and I pull her up, give her a quick kiss and then lead us out of the room, up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind us. She smiles and cups my face, kissing me again as she leads us to my bed, letting me lay her down as she keeps on kissing me, I'm hard and I want her and I know she can feel me against her body so I pull back slightly and look into her eyes, making her nod slightly, so I get up and undress, she does the same, and we take a moment to just look at each other, and my god she is stunning, just perfect.

I explore her body with my hands, familiarizing myself with all parts of her, because this, her, I think she is what I really want, she is someone who can make me happy for more than just a couple of months, she might just be the real deal for me. I climb into the bed, holding the duvet up for her to join me, and as she does we resume our kissing, and touching and loving, before moving on to make love, and it is just that, making love, not having sex, not something raunchy or dirty, but something beautiful, something that means something to both of us, there's a connection there and it is just perfect.

******Only one last little chapter left after this.**


	50. Chapter 50

**It's all done, my first ever complete McDean story, it took a lot of time, but it's done, and i'm strangely proud of it. **

**Anyways, massive thank yous go to all who've read, commented, or even bothered to look at only a couple of chapters of this. Thanks for spending some of your time, looking at something I created.**

**The last 4-5 chapters are all recreated material, as I lost all those bits some months ago, I'm missing something or other, I'm sure, but nothing major as I'd not have ended this if it was something major. **

**Enjoy the last little bit.**

**John Paul**

"I love it here," he sighs happily making me chuckle, "What?" He pouts as I giggle, but I kiss him making him smile slightly.

"Nothing, we've just barely left the hotel, so you love the hotel basically?" he slaps my arse and mutters something about me being so bloody cheeky.

"No wise-guy, I just feel relaxed here, as in here in Italy, cause I'm here with you, cause I love you to bits." He says and the sticks his tongue out at me.

"Mature," I shake my head and wink at him.

"Yeah, well someone has to be," he tells me childishly making me laugh as I wrap my arm around his waist, holding him close to me.

"I love you,"

"Love you too," he smiles and kisses my neck.

We've only been in Rome for a couple of hours, once we arrived we'd checked into the hotel, dropped our bags off and gone out to get some dinner and had a general wander around the area we were staying in, familiarizing ourselves with it, so we knew where to go out to dinner and where the clubs and pubs were, deciding to keep the tourism stuff till tomorrow, so that we were really rested before walking around for hours and taking pictures and all that.

Once we'd gotten back to the hotel we'd showered, and then curled up in bed, watching really bad Italian tv, which Craig had gotten hooked on instantly, shushing me when I commented it was really stupid, and then glaring at me because he'd missed what one horrible actress had said to another horrible actress on the horrible soap that was on, as if he understood any of it.

But he's cute like that, really getting into things, acting as though he knows what it's all about, and then getting annoyed if anyone dares to say something while he watches his favorite program, though I knew how to distract him, and after letting him watch a bit more of it, I'd gotten out of bed, gone round to our bags, which were near the TV, and pretended to look for something in one of them, then stood up, took my shirt off, tossed it to the floor and scratched my chest, before looking at him, seeing that I had all of his attention now.

I just know that if there's anything that can distract him, then it's me, simple as that, so I stood there for a moment, and then took off my boxers too, letting his eyes roam over my naked body, before getting back into bed with him, taking the remote control from him and turning off the TV, "I'm yours," I'd simply said and it'd taken him mere seconds to get completely naked too.

He made love to me, and it was beautiful, I felt loved, needed, cherished in fact, felt like royalty in a way, he was gentle, but rough at the same time, moved slow and fast too, knew when to hold back, knew when to go fast, knew when to do what, and how, but then he knows me and my body better than anyone else, so he knows which buttons to press, and boy did he press them, he'd made me come without touching my cock, he's perfected the art of that now, knows how to do it almost every time, and I love him for it, well I love him full stop, but when he does that, when he makes me come like that well that does make me love him even more.

"What you thinking about?" he asks as he lets his fingers play with my hair, making me sigh happily.

"You, how happy you make me, how much I love you," I smile and kiss him, "How I want to be with you forever and always."

"Oh," he says and looks away, blushing slightly, making my heart beat that little bit faster. "I want that too," he tells me quietly, "The forever and always being together bit," smiling he looks into my eyes and I melt, god there is so much in those eyes, so much love, I can see how he feels, I can feel them burning into me, I can feel his love radiating from them, I can feel it going inside of me and warming me up, making me feel so alive that I can't believe it. "You make me happy too." He tells me sweetly and kisses my cheek as he climbs into bed, holding the duvet up for me so that I join him, which I gladly do.

I snuggle closer to him, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heart beating while he wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him, loving me and just being my everything, the everything I walked away from last year, the everything I am so eternally happy to have gotten back. I know I'm lucky, not many people get a second chance, and I never thought I would get it, I've made a mistake or two in my life, so has he, who hasn't.

The biggest mistake of my life was when I walked away from him, though deep down I think we both know we needed that, needed to be apart to realize we need to be together. The second biggest mistake of my life was Kieron, but had it not been for him, I'd not have gotten back with Craig, so somehow that mistake made me realize that I needed to be with Craig, wanted to be with Craig.

I think I left my heart with Craig last year, because I didn't really start living again, until I was back in his arms when I came to Dublin all those months ago, and now, well now we'll be making mistakes together, we're not perfect, we'll mess things up, we can be idiots at times and we both know it, but we also know that what we have is solid, something that no one else can tear apart, and we won't let anyone even try to do that, why would we, we're in love and we're together.

Mistakes are made all the time… Happy endings are rare… I made two big mistakes but I was one of the lucky few who got their happy ending.

I entwine my hand with Craig's and press a kiss to it, looking at my watch as I let our hands rest on Craig's stomach.

_Love always… and that's the truth._

**Once again, massive thank yous to all who've spent time reading this little story I created.**_  
_


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